A Mother's Shame (37 page)

‘Remember, you will always be welcome here,’ Esperanza shouted after them and Maria could suddenly not hold the tears back any longer.

When they were lost to sight, Josh handed her his clean handkerchief and she wiped her eyes and blew her nose loudly.

‘Don’t be sad,’ he urged her. ‘Try to think of this as a new beginning.’ But even as he said the words he was filled with trepidation about what the future held.

Unbeknowst to Maria, Josh’s Uncle Freddie had received a letter from Charles Montgomery only days before in response to the one that Frederick had written telling him of Isabelle’s death. Naturally, the man had been devastated at the loss of his daughter, but not once had he enquired about his granddaughter. He obviously believed that the child would be fostered out as had originally been planned, and now Frederick was blaming himself for not forewarning him that Josh and Maria intended to bring the child home. In his letter, Frederick had also mentioned that, during their stay, Joshua and Maria had become ’close’. Charles Montgomery had clearly been incensed by this piece of information and had urged Frederick to do everything he could to discourage their relationship. It all looked set to become very unpleasant, but for now Josh was determined to concentrate on getting Faith and Maria home to England in one piece.

When they arrived at the ferry for the first leg of their journey to the Australian mainland, Robbie heaved the trunks from the carriage and ordered a stout sailor to take them aboard as he said his goodbyes to them.

‘And just remember, there’ll always be a place here fer you with me and Kitty,’ he told them as Maria smiled through her tears.

‘You will look after her, won’t you?’ she asked him tremulously and he placed his hand over his heart.

‘Aye, I will – always,’ he vowed. ‘Kitty is the most important person in my life and I’d die for her if need be. You have no cause to worry about that little lass any more. She’s my responsibility now, and I’ll see that she never wants for anything.’

Maria believed him and she stood on tiptoe to kiss his blushing cheek before Josh led her and Faith up the gangplank. She stood on deck as the ship steamed out of the harbour and watched the island of Tasmania slowly recede. What did the future hold for her now? she wondered, and hoped devoutly for a good outcome for them all.

When they boarded the
Sea Queen
two days later, Maria was thrilled with their cabins. Josh had spared no expense and they were far superior to the ones they had travelled in before, as well as being a good deal larger. She and Faith would share a twin cabin whilst Josh had a single one slightly further along the passageway from them. He had even arranged for a cabin boy to bring Faith’s milk at regular intervals, which was a huge relief to Maria.

Within a couple of days there was nothing but the vast expanse of ocean to be seen. Maria had spent the majority of the time in her cabin seeing to Faith’s needs, but as the weather was still fair on the third day she took a stroll around the deck with Josh, who insisted on carrying Faith. The child cooed and gurgled, seemingly unperturbed at her change of routine and Maria was able to relax. Even the rolling of the ship on the gentle swell did not seem to trouble her and Maria prayed that the weather would stay fine. She could still remember the terrible storms they had sailed through on the way to Australia and the loss of life that had ensued.

‘She seems to be handling the changes well,’ Josh commented as he smiled down at his niece.

Maria nodded as an elderly lady shaded by a lace-trimmed parasol stopped to admire the baby.

‘Your child is beautiful,’ she complimented them and Maria flushed as she realised that the woman had assumed they were a family. She opened her mouth to tell her otherwise but then closed it again.

When she had walked on, Josh grinned, saying, ‘She must have thought that Faith was our baby.’

‘Yes.’ Maria nodded in agreement, but she was troubled. What if everyone else assumed the same thing once they returned home? It could well have been the case if she had not lost her own child on the journey to Australia. And if Josh’s parents refused to accept the child, it would be very difficult to prove that Faith wasn’t hers. After all, she only had Josh to tell them otherwise. Frederick and Esperanza were on the other side of the world so they would not be able to speak up for her. She pushed her fears aside again but noting her expression Josh touched her hand gently.

‘Try not to worry,’ he said. ‘I shall make sure that both you and Faith are all right no matter what happens. I don’t need to tell you that, surely? I fully intend to speak to my parents at the first opportunity and tell them that we have feelings for each other.’

‘For what good it will do,’ Maria answered shortly. Somehow she could not share his optimism; after all, Isabelle’s father had banished his own daughter to Hatter’s Hall rather than face the disgrace of an illegitimate baby – so why should he accept his son wishing to be tied to a servant? And in Charles Montgomery’s eyes that’s what she would always be; she was under no illusions about that. But still she had no wish to upset Joshua so she changed the subject, saying, ‘Isn’t that a whale over there?’

‘Good grief, I believe it is!’ he exclaimed as he followed her pointing finger. They had become accustomed to the dolphins that regularly swam alongside the ship but a whale was a much rarer sight, and for the next half an hour the passengers leaned over the rails and watched the whale diving, surfacing and blowing with delight.

Soon the days became shorter and the temperature dropped. The seas became rougher too, and Maria spent most of the time in her cabin with Faith. Josh’s regular visits broke the days up and they grew closer and found that they could converse on almost any subject. That was one thing she had to thank her father for at least, Maria thought; he had insisted that all his children be schooled, and now that education was standing her in good stead.

And then came the news they had been dreading. The cabin boy who brought Faith’s milk informed them, ‘One of the deck-hands has gone down with the scarlet fever and the Captain is worried. The boy is confined to the sick bay but the Captain reckons this may well be the start of an outbreak. It’ll be God help us all if it is.’

Maria sent up a prayer for Faith. The child was so vulnerable that she would stand no chance of survival should she come down with a serious illness.

‘That’s it then,’ she told Josh firmly. ‘I shan’t be leaving the cabin again until we hear that the deck-hand has fully recovered.’

But the deck-hand died from the sickness and three days later he was buried at sea. It was the first fatality of the trip, but by then three more sailors had been confined to the sick bay and Maria was almost beside herself with worry.

‘You must wash your hands thoroughly every time you enter the cabin,’ she told Josh and the cabin boy strictly, and they were happy to comply with her wishes.

It was getting colder by the day now; even the temperature in the cabins had dropped and then they rode into rough seas and for two days solid the
Sea Queen
was tossed about like a matchstick. It was only thanks to the efficiency of the Captain that they finally sailed through it and Maria could breathe a sigh of relief and finally catch up on some sleep with Faith tucked in at the side of her.

And then during the second week of December the sound they had all been waiting for echoed around the ship. ‘Land Ahoy!’

Many of the passengers hurried to the rails but it was getting dark and they could see little, apart from some very dull lights in the distance. Only the sailor up in the crow’snest with his eyeglass could properly spy the landmass ahead.

‘We may as well retire,’ Josh said eventually as Maria cradled Faith to her. The baby was warmly wrapped in a shawl and fast asleep. It was only since the outbreak of scarlet fever had died away that Maria had ventured out onto the deck, and then only occasionally as she was worried about Faith catching a chill.

‘If that is Portsmouth ahead we are almost home,’ he went on ‘but the Captain will drop anchor until the pilot is able to come out and meet us and guide us into the harbour tomorrow. Perhaps we can begin some packing?’

Maria nodded and as she looked up at him she saw that they were both thinking the same thing.
What sort of a homecoming was ahead of them?

The next day the passengers on the
Sea Queen
awoke to frenzied activity. Just as Josh had predicted, they found themselves anchored outside the harbour. Maria asked, ‘Do you think there will be anyone here to meet us?’

‘It’s highly unlikely,’ he answered. ‘I did give them the expected date of arrival, but it is only ever approximate and I believe that we are two days late. I’ve no doubt we would have made it on time if we hadn’t encountered that storm. However, once we get ashore I shall send a telegram and ask them to meet us from the train in Nuneaton. We should be home by tomorrow evening, all being well.’

Maria reached out then and grasping his wrist she told him quietly, ‘I just want you to know that should your parents refuse to accept Faith, she will always have a home with me.’

He knew how devoted she was to the child, but assured her, ‘I would never let you shoulder that responsibility on your own. And I love her too, my dear. She is my niece, and all I have left of poor Isabelle. But now let us not talk of it any longer. I can hardly wait to feel dry land beneath my feet again, can you?’

Caught up in his happy mood, she smiled and nodded in agreement.

The gangplank was lowered late that afternoon and clutching Faith tightly to her breast, Maria allowed Josh to help her disembark. She felt as if she was descending into chaos as the passengers swarmed past her and burly seamen hauled trunks and other luggage from the ship. She hastily stepped aside to prevent a large rat from running right across her foot. The usual mix of street girls had assembled, their lips and cheeks painted and their dresses cut low, eager to relieve the sailors of some of their hard-earned pay after all the weeks at sea. Seeing them, Maria clutched Faith to her all the harder, making the child whimper. She was nearly a toddler now; could crawl and was developing apace.

‘You stay right here and don’t move,’ Josh instructed Maria. ‘I’ll go and find our luggage and then I’ll get us a cab to a hotel for the night. It’s too late for Faith to set off on another journey at this time.’

She felt a faint stirring of panic at the prospect of being left alone, but raising her chin she managed a weak smile. He wouldn’t be gone for long, after all. In seconds she had lost sight of him amongst the crowd, but then looking in the other direction she saw a face that looked vaguely familiar heading towards her.

‘Miss Mundy?’ asked a middle-aged man when he came abreast of her, removing his hat courteously.

‘Yes.’ And then she suddenly realised who he was. It was Jacobs, Josh’s father’s valet. Relief washed through her. Mr Montgomery must have sent the coach for them, which meant they would not have to endure another long train journey.

‘I have the coach ready for you over there,’ he told her.

‘I have to wait for Joshua,’ Maria said. ‘He has gone to collect our trunks.’

Jacobs placed his hat back on, telling her genially, ‘Yes, I know. His father has gone to find him and they will join us as soon as they have secured your luggage. He thought it might be best if you and the er . . . baby, waited in the carriage.’

‘Oh!’ Relieved to think that she would not have to stand there any longer, Maria followed him trustingly. There were dozens of horses and carriages scattered about, but Jacobs strode straight to theirs, and after opening the door he helped her inside. It was very gloomy inside, and Maria had barely sat down when she realised that she wasn’t alone. There were two other people present, although she could not see who they were as yet. And then as she made out the features of the woman sitting opposite she gasped.

‘Miss Belle! What are
you
doing here?’ Hers was a face she had often seen in her nightmares since leaving Hatter’s Hall, and it was one she had prayed she would never see in the flesh again.

‘She’s here to help me take you an’ the brat to where yer belong!’

Maria had no need to see the face of the man who had just spoken. It was a voice she would never forget, and her blood ran cold as she swivelled in her seat to find herself face to face with Lennie.

‘B-but I don’t understand,’ she breathed as Miss Belle leaned over to pluck Faith from her arms.

‘Yer will soon enough. In fact you’ll have the rest o’ yer days to understand, yer filthy hoor,’ Lennie cursed. And then suddenly he was leaning towards her with an evil-smelling piece of rag in his hand, and even as she reached for the door handle, he grabbed her and pressed it against her mouth and nose. She tried to fight him off.

‘Josh!’ she screamed, but the words had scarcely left her lips when a deeper darkness rushed towards her and in seconds she knew no more.

Josh strode towards the spot where he had left Maria, but she had vanished. Two of the crew were close on his heels, loaded down with the luggage, and now he turned to them to say, ‘I’m sure that I left Miss Mundy here. Would you mind waiting whilst I have a scout around for her? She can’t be far away as she’s carrying the baby. I will make it worth your while.’ The seamen shrugged: it was no skin off their nose. While they were standing about they could eye the doxies that were on offer and be paid for the waiting into the bargain. Josh began to methodically scan the faces of the people surrounding him before widening his search, but he could see no sign of either Maria or Faith. He began to stop people and ask them, ‘Have you seen a young lady in a blue bonnet carrying a small baby?’

Eager to be away, many of the people ignored him and elbowed past him and now he began to panic. Maria must be
somewhere!
He couldn’t have been gone for more than ten minutes at the very most. The thought calmed him and he took a deep breath. How far could she have gone in that time, after all? And so his search continued. After half an hour the quay was emptying and he could see that the seamen he had left guarding the luggage were growing impatient. He returned to them and tossed them both some coins, then spotting a nearby empty cab he told the driver, ‘Load this lot in, would you, and wait for me? I will see you are well rewarded.’