A Most Shocking Revelation (18 page)

She turned away from him toward the fire that was nothing more than a few embers. He walked up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. “Look, people around here aren't as judgmental as you might think. They already accept you, and once they learn how you handled Gretchen all by yourself, you'll be a hero.”

“I don't want to be a hero,” she said quietly. “I just want…”

He turned her into his arms. “What do you want, sweetheart? I swear to God, I'll give it to you, whatever it is.”

A stream of tears trailed down her cheeks. “I want you to love me for who I am. I don't want you to be ashamed of me or somewhere down the road decide you can never trust me. I want your respect.”

“You don't get it, do you?” He thumbed a tear away from her chin. “I have never met anyone I respected more. You've shown me that I don't have to be a hard-ass to be a good sheriff. And God knows you've shown me what it feels like to love someone so much that it hurts.” He tipped his forehead against hers and
closed his eyes. “And if you leave now, I'll never open myself up again to anyone like I have with you. Never.”

When she didn't respond, he knew she wasn't convinced. He knew he had lost her, probably for good.

Although it was by far the hardest thing he'd ever done, Gavin let her go and turned his back to her. “You can stay at the house tonight. I promise I won't say anything else or beg you or touch you. You can leave in the morning.”

Skirting the hollowed-out spot that had once contained the legendary treasure, Gavin reached for the lantern resting below the tree and caught sight of the etchings—reminders of a love story that had gone right in spite of the odds. Even though it probably wouldn't matter, he withdrew his pocketknife and beneath the knothole, carved his initials, then Val's, divided by a heart.

Gavin rested his forehead against the trunk, one arm braced above, feeling as if he was about to lose it. He'd worked so long and so hard to protect his emotions, he'd actually convinced himself he couldn't cry. Then where the hell did the unexpected tears come from? Silent tears but no less real, no less painful. He didn't want her to know how badly he needed her, but some unknown force compelled him to take the knife again and begin to shape a jagged line—right down the middle of the heart he had carved.

Before he could finish, a hand came to rest on his shoulder. “Gavin, don't.”

He pocketed the knife and swiped a forearm over his face. “That's pretty much how I'm feeling right now, Val. Like someone sliced my heart right open.”

“I know.”

He turned to her and saw her tears, but unlike him, she didn't bother to wipe them away. And with those tears went the last of his pride. “I can't stand the thought of you leaving me, Val. If you want me to beg you to stay, I swear I'll do it.”

She released a ragged breath. “You don't have to beg. I'll stay.”

Gavin had never heard more welcome words, had never experienced such undeniable relief. He tugged her to him, kissed
her thoroughly and held her as if she might disappear. Reluctantly he pulled back and asked, “Are you sure?”

“I am now.” She sighed. “I realize I was wrong not to trust you. But when I came here, no one knew where I'd come from, and I liked that. I could pretend to be just an average person and I didn't have to explain my past. I worried that if you knew about my mother and what I'd done, you wouldn't see me in the same way.”

He pushed her hair away from her face and kissed her cheek. “Honestly I don't know how I would have felt if you'd told me in the beginning. After I got to know the real you, nothing you've done would have changed that. But I understand why you didn't trust me, and that's okay, as long as you trust me now.”

“I do trust you, Gavin. And I love you with all of my heart.” Her eyes went wide as her hand went to her throat. “Speaking of hearts, Gretchen tore off my pendant and threw it somewhere. I have to find it.”

“I'll find it when I have some daylight. I promise you'll have your heart back.”

She sent him a soft smile. “Probably not, because I've given it to you.”

She definitely had his. “Then you'll stay here with me, no more talk of going back to St. Louis?”

“I need to go back for a few days. I have to say goodbye to several people. Actually kids I used to work with.”

He was taking a chance, but he had to do it. “I want to go with you.”

“I want you to go with me,” she said, taking him by surprise.

“I'd like the kids to meet you so they realize that not everyone in law enforcement is an enemy.”

“I'd be glad to do it.” And now for the ultimate question. “I want you to marry me, Val. We can do it after we come back—or before, if you want.”

Indecision called out from her eyes. “We need some time, Gavin. We need the opportunity to get to know each other better before we take that step.”

“But that's not exactly a no, right?” Hell, he sounded like a kid. An impatient one.

Her sudden smile eased Gavin's fear. “No, it's not a no. It's an ‘I'll seriously consider it,' on one condition.”

“What's that?”

Her smile expanded into a grin. “You stop sneaking up on me from behind.”

He pulled her to him as close as he could, right against his heart that was fortunately still intact. “Is that in all cases or just when you're wielding something heavier than a feather duster?”

Her laughter echoed across the pasture. “Okay, maybe not all the time.”

Gavin kissed the tip of her chilly nose. “Tell you what, I can't promise I'll never be behind you, but I do promise to warn you first. I don't want to end up kissing the ground, like Gretchen.”

“And I promise not to smack you under any circumstance with anything more than my lips.”

This time he laughed, but it died quickly when he looked into her eyes and saw concern there. “What's wrong?”

“We have a long way to go, you and me.”

“As long as we go it together.” He pushed her hair away from her face. “If you decide to see your mother somewhere down the road, I'll be with you every step of the way.”

“I'll think about it,” she said. “But in all honesty, I know she doesn't want to see me and I'm okay with that. Or I will be, as long as I have you.”

She had him all right. And that's exactly where he wanted to be. “I'm not going to stop asking you to marry me until you say yes.”

“And I'm not going to say yes until I'm good and ready.”

“Stubborn woman,” he grumbled.

“Persistent man.”

“That's part of my charm.”

She draped her arms around his neck. “And that's one of the many things I love about you.”

“Good. Now let's go home and I'll show you just how charming I can be.”

Gavin also planned to show her that a cynical sheriff, the once-confirmed bachelor, was capable of sharing his hardened heart, show her all of his love—and give her the gift of his trust.

From the diary of Valerie Raines-O'Neal