A Matter of Trust (11 page)

She reached for his shirt to stop him from
buttoning it up as she slid her hand over his chest. She wanted to
see all of him. When she found the nerve to look up at him, Ben
Wilde was not smiling.

“Carrie, this isn’t going to happen. I’m not
taking your virginity. Good grief, I can’t believe I’m even saying
this.” He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to kiss
her open mouth, but he pulled away just as quickly and groaned.
“Stop it, Carrie, because if you do that again, I’m going to toss
you down on that bed and show you what it feels like to be a
woman.”

Then he actually stepped around her, picked
her sweatshirt up, and pulled it over her head.

Ben woke up from one of the worst nights of
sleep he could remember. Even an icy shower had done little to
relieve his discomfort after leaving Carrie’s. This was the first
time Ben had ever turned down a woman who was ready and willing,
but there was a fine line between bedding a woman who knew what she
was doing and one as inexperienced as Carrie. There were some lines
with women that even he wouldn’t cross.

Worse, his body hadn’t gotten the message.
He wanted her badly, and thinking about how tight she’d be, how no
man had ever been inside of her before, was not helping. His cell
phone buzzed beside the bed. He reached for it and growled,
“What?”

“Whoa, bad night?” Verna, of course. She
always called bright and early, like sunshine, but today he wasn’t
in the mood.

“Look, Verna, I just have a lot on my mind.
What do you need?” Okay, now he was being a prick. He’d apologize
later. He could hear her tapping something in the background.
“Verna, come on. Spit it out.”

“You know, Ben, the last time you were this
cold with me was when Kimberley—remember her, that nice, sweet,
mousy brown-haired girl who fell in love with you? You broke her
heart, and she showed up at the office…”

“Okay, stop,” he barked. He remembered, of
course. He’d been a miserable prick for days, weeks, and Verna,
like everyone else, had tiptoed around him. It had broken his heart
to hurt Kimberley. She was nice, and what business did he have
dating someone like her? It was because she had fallen in love with
him that he broke it off. The idea had terrified him. “Point
taken,” he said. He sighed and ripped back the covers, putting his
bare feet on the icy cold floor, sitting naked at the edge of the
bed. His head ached from the lack of sleep, and he leaned forward
and rubbed his eyebrows with his fingers.

“Ben, what’s going on?” Verna asked.

“Look, Verna, why can’t you just let it
go?”

“Because I’m worried about you, and you’re
not here for me to fuss over. Besides…Kenny left for college
today.”

Ben had to think for a minute. Kenny was her
kid—the youngest, he thought. “Maybe I should be asking if you’re
okay. Why don’t you take the day off, go home?”

“And do what, worry? No thank you, sir. I
have work to do. Besides, that’s what kids do: They grow up and
they leave you.”

“I thought you couldn’t wait for your kids
to leave home?” He wanted to laugh, but there was something about
mothers: One minute they wanted the kids grown up and moved out of
the house, starting their own lives, and the next they were nailing
the door shut to keep them home.

“Don’t mind me. Besides, Mr. Stillwell was
in your office this morning when I got here.”

Ben was actually standing up now. He
shivered and reached for the red tassled throw at the foot of the
bed, pulling it around himself. “Peter was in my office?” he said
in a low voice.

“No, Rick. I asked him what he was doing,
because he was going through that drawer in the credenza behind
your desk, where all your reports and files are.”

Ben didn’t like the sound of that. There was
no reason for Rick, of all people, to be in his office. “What did
he say?”

“Told me to mind my own business, that he
doesn’t answer to me or you. Then he left with a file. I don’t know
what it was for sure, but I went back in there, and I think it was
for this pipeline project. I’m pretty sure it was the one with the
spec sheet from all the manufacturers, because I couldn’t find it,
and I don’t think you took it with you, did you?”

Ben sat back on the bed, trying to figure
out what Rick was up to. During his conversation with Peter, he’d
been clear that they needed to show the residents that they weren’t
cutting corners on their equipment. Why hadn’t Rick called him if
he needed something? “I’ll call Rick and find out what he’s up to,
what he wants. You still have a key to my office?”

“Yes, I do, but apparently so does Rick. I
know I locked it last night before I left.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Verna, there’s someone here,” Ben said.
“I’ve got to go. Listen, call a locksmith and get the locks changed
on the credenza, and don’t give anyone a copy of the key. Don’t
worry about Rick, either. I’ll deal with him.”

“Okay,” she said, sounding as if she was
questioning his ability to actually deal with the boss’s son. Rick
was always walking around as if he owned the place, like an
unwelcome relative you had to keep around because they were family.
Rick wasn’t his family, though, not by a long shot.

“Hey, Verna? After you do that, take the
rest of the day off. Go be with your family.”

“We’ll see. Maybe. Let me know if you need
anything…and whoever this woman is, I hope it works out. You
deserve to be happy.”

“Goodbye, Verna,” Ben said. He hung up
before she could say anything else, and someone knocked on the door
again. “Coming!” he called out, wrapping the blanket firmly around
himself and pulling the door open.

Who was standing there but the woman
responsible for his miserable night?

What had she been thinking? She was staring
into the face of the man who’d walked out on her the night before,
all because she’d never been with a man. It was humiliating, and
she had cried after he left as if her heart was splitting in two.
It had taken until this morning for her to realize that not only
did he want her, but also she needed to stop assuming that she knew
everything about people’s motives and instead find out why Ben had
pushed her away.

The wild expression on his face now as he
held the door, the other hand clutching the blanket, made her
consider taking a step back, then another, until she was running
the other way, but she chalked it up to lack of sleep and
frustration. Everything she’d been unable to face for so long was
bursting from her, and she was at a point where she wanted—no, she
needed to throw caution to the wind and say to hell with
everything.

Her eyes went right to the blanket around
his waist, his amazing pecs and his chest hair. It was enough that
she was dying to run her hands over him. She knew he was strong and
lean, and she found herself longing to lean into him, wanting to
feel all of him pressed against her.

“Carrie, this isn’t a good time.”

Boy, he looked annoyed, and she flushed,
knowing she had that effect on people. This was the first time it
really stung, though, coming from Ben. Maybe it was the look of
hurt on her face that made him reach out and put his hand on her
shoulder.

“Get that wounded puppy look off your face,”
he said softly.

“Why did you walk out on me last night after
I practically threw myself at you?” she said, and she wanted to pat
herself on the back for speaking up. Her throat thickened, though,
because once something was said, you couldn’t take it back. For a
moment, she worried about what he’d say.

He let out a heavy sigh and pulled her
inside, closing the door. She was staring at the rumpled bed,
picturing herself there with him, warm under that duvet, skin to
skin. She had to stop this or she thought she’d go insane with
need.

“Carrie, you really want to do this?” He
walked around her and touched his jeans, tossed over the back of
the chair.

She opened her mouth to say something when
he started toward her, putting his fingers around her chin. His
thumb rubbed her lower lip, pressed between her teeth.

“I told you not to do that,” he said.

Her breath squeaked out from his touch. “I
don’t understand why you left, why you changed your mind. It hurt
me.”

He shut his eyes for a second. When he
looked down at her again, her senses were reeling from his touch,
from being this close to him. The scent of him was so male and
delicious that it had her trembling.

“If I’d known you’d never been with a man
before, it never would have gone as far as it did last night. You
terrified me, and I didn’t want to hurt you—and I would have. Let’s
get this straight: I want you very much.” He grabbed her hand and
pressed it against himself over the blanket, letting her know he
wanted her now.

Her jaw dropped open, and she wondered how
red her face was. She could feel her cheeks burning.

He shook his head. “You have no idea what
you do, you little tease. Right now, I want nothing more than to
toss you down on this bed and slide into all your softness, but you
have no idea what you’re in for.”

“Maybe I do,” she said, and she swallowed,
hoping he wouldn’t toss her out the door. “Maybe this is what I
want.”

She could feel how tightly he was holding
himself as he lowered his hand and took a step back, shaking his
head. She took one step closer to him, and when she put her hand
flat on his chest, she shut her eyes just to take in the feel of
him. The next thing she knew, she was flat on her back on the bed,
with Ben on top of her. She reached up and touched his face,
sliding her hand over his cheek, scraping over his whiskers, loving
the roughness against her soft skin.

“Is this what you came for?” He yanked the
blanket from around himself and spread her jean-clad legs, pushing
them wide open, pressing against her. She knew then that she had to
have him. If he stopped now, she knew, without a doubt, that she
would wither away and die.

She couldn’t get her tongue to move, and she
stared at his lips, willing him to take charge and lean down and
kiss her again. She loved the way he kissed, and maybe he was
reading her mind, because he did just that. It wasn’t gentle and
passionate anymore, though. It was hard and rough and overpowering,
and she loved it.

He didn’t ask as he unbuttoned and unzipped
her jeans, pulling away long enough to slip her shoes and her
clothes off, all of them. It wasn’t sensual and slow like the night
before. There was an animal instinct about him.

His eyes, the intensity in them, never left
hers. She watched him pull a condom from his wallet and cover
himself. Good, because stupid her hadn’t thought about that as she
stared at the size of him, worrying for a moment about whether she
could do this, not wanting him to stop.

“Carrie, tell me this is all right.”

She could see he was a man who very much
meant what he said. She slowly nodded.

“I need you to say it, Carrie. You have to
speak or we stop right now.”

“I don’t want you to stop. Please.” She
reached for him, and he moved closer, putting his hands on her
thighs. The way he looked at her there, she wanted to hide. It was
so personal.

“It’s going to hurt the first time. Are you
ready for that?”

“I’m ready for you,” she said as he moved on
the bed, his knees spreading her wide so her legs dangled around
his hips. She could feel him pressing against her. He ran his hand
over her breasts, touching her until the tension inside her eased,
and she felt him pressing into her as he stared into her eyes.

The pressure was so much, and his expression
was hard, as if he was holding himself back. “God, woman, you’re so
tight.”

“Ben, please…” She didn’t think she could
bear it, and maybe he knew, because he slammed into her so hard and
fast that she cried out at the pain.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he said. “Just lie still
and you’ll get used to me.” He kissed her as her arms slid around
his neck, and then he started moving, slowly at first and then
deeply.

She’d never felt so full, so complete, so
possessed by a man as he filled her over and over. There was
something building inside her and then exploding, sending waves and
sensations crashing through her. She was digging her nails into his
back as he moved harder and faster into her, and then he cried out
and collapsed on top of her. For the first time in her life, this
new relationship, she was part of something that mattered so much,
she didn’t think she could bear it if this ended.

What the hell had he been thinking? This was
one of those moments where he knew with absolute certainty that he
hadn’t been using his entire brain. Carrie was warm and still
underneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist, and he was still
inside her. He went to pull away, to pull out, and she winced.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Her cheeks burned a rosy pink, and she shook
her head. “No, I’m okay. I didn’t know it would feel so good.”

There was a knock at the door, and Carrie
scrambled up and reached for the blanket to cover herself. Ben
climbed off the bed and reached for his jeans.

“Ben, are you in there?” Jack shouted from
outside. He sounded off, and Ben wondered if he had any idea that
his daughter was here. Carrie actually leaped from the bed, taking
the duvet with her and racing into the bathroom as Ben pulled on
his jeans. Jack knocked again.

“Okay, I’m coming,” he said as he pulled
open the door, staring into Jack’s face. He didn’t let him in, but
by the way Jack looked over his shoulder into the room, he wondered
what he saw.

“Carrie’s here?” he said, pushing past Ben
and stopping in front of the bed. Ben looked down and noticed the
blood, then Carrie’s clothes tossed to the floor. This was one of
those nightmare moments you never wanted to happen.