A Matter of Love in da Bronx (55 page)

Strange. I love her with all my heart and soul, and yet I resent her interference. --Yes.

--Swear! On your love for me, swear you will do nothing! Nothing!

It always comes to this, doesn't it? No shades of grey, just yes or no. All the crap stuff in this world get a compromise, not so the really important things.

--Sam, listen to me. If Vito wanted to keep us apart, he can succeed this way where he couldn't the other way. If that's what you want, stop the cab, we might as well say goodbye here and now.

--We're almost there.

--Where?

--Lurting Avenue.

--What's on Lurting?

--You'll see.

--You'll see I'll walk home if you don't swear.

--I swear.

--With no mental reservation or means or evasion, you swear you wont go after Vito?

--Yes. Yes! Now, Sweetheart, look!

The cab had pulled up and parked in front of a two-story brick house with a small lawn bordered with short hedges. --I go in see aunt while you two go inside, the cabbie said.

--Sam, why are we here? It had been, Oh! so long since the last nice surprise. Was this going to be a nice surprise? Were we going to meet someone, or...what?

Look at the expectation on her face! Wait until she sees! Interesting how dreams of giving the person you love the Taj Mahal suddenly adopts a more realistic dimension, like brick in the Bronx instead of agate in Agra. Sam opened the door of the cab, helped her out, and, still holding her hand, led her down the concrete path to a door at the rear of the house. He pushed it open, turned her suddenly, caught her in his arms and carried her inside.

He swung her around wildly. --Is this a proposal?

--If it isn't, it's at least a proposition.

--Darling! You are so funny!

He put her down, put his arms tenderly about her, and kissed her full, warmly, intensely. --Darling, here is our new life!

Oh! I love it! Wasn't it exciting! How strong he is! How forceful! How he knows what he wants and what he wants to do. How protected I felt as he carried me in. Oh! Yes! How I adore this man. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want him to make love to me, and be the father of our kids, and stay with me all the time! Life with him will never be dull! --What are you saying?

--If you say you won't, I'll kill myself on the spot. Mary, we must be together. Our love demands it, or we perish. There can be no further delay, or we be contaminated by ogres and evil spirits. We'll be beaten by the beachin' life. We'll never have each other. It's decreed that Sam and Mary be one. The only way we can do it is precipitously. Immediately! Right now! We must be together, here.

It was a basement apartment. One bedroom. One bath. A kitchenette. Light housekeeping, it was called. Furnished, and tastefully so with modern pieces, fairly new. A living room with a sofa and matching easy chairs, rug, glass coffee table, television, table lamps, simulated oil paintings; the kitchenette had a small refrigerator, stove, limited counter space. Through the open doors were seen the bedroom and bathroom.

--You mean...? I'm sure I know what he means, but I want him to say it. I would stay with him! I would be with him! Sam, I love you!

--Yes, Sweetheart! We live here. You and me. We'll get married this weekend, whatever, whenever. But, I've got to get out of my parents' home. You've got to get out of yours. Just remember, we're doing this not because of that; but, because we must be together. If we don't do this, we perish. Will you marry me? Will you be mine? Can we be together? --We go home, get our things, and we meet tomorrow morning. Can you be ready by ten?

--Mmmmm...eleven...

--Great! I'll come for you.

--No, if my folks know you're about...you wait here, send the cab for me. That's best.

--Sol is back. I'll have to talk to him about his plans, and now, about my needs. I'll tell my folks. I don't think they're going to be overjoyed. They've become so used to me helping to support them all these years, they will feel betrayed. I know they will rant, rave, implore. All useless. I'll come to you guilt-free, Mary. I want you to do the same. Nothing, no matter how small, ever to stand between us. I want you, Mary. I will have you, Mary.

--Sam, Darling! Let's go into the bedroom right now!

--Sure, with the taxi meter running! He laughed, loud. He was happy. Joyous. Ecstatic! She said yes! Yesyesyes! I love you, Mary! I love you!

They kissed, hard, hot. Clutching each other. Tearing at each other. They sucked the other's tongue as it plunged deep inside. Back and forth, in and out, their tongues lashed at each other whipping exposed nerve ending to white heat that made them both throw their heads back, gasp and utter a call for relief.

--Oh! Mary!

--Oh! Sam!

--We can't be denied! We are so close!

--Sam! I don't care if an earthquake rocks the world because of what we do here, but we must do it! Oh! How I love to hold him in my arms. The feeling is so marvelous. There isn't anything like it in the whole world!

Jesus! If it so fantastic just to embrace like this, it must be a million times better for us to be joined with my erection firmly and deeply imbedded in her vagina! It must be the most perfect thing on earth for two lovers to make love! Fuck the attitude that the only true love is the love that transcends lust. Mary and I couldn't love each other more, but if we didn't have each other that way, it would be of a diminished dimension. Just think of what it will be like the first time we make love! God! I'll come in a split second! I know it! Mary will kiss me, our bodies will touch, and I'll explode! My rip-roaring hard-on will barely spread her lips, and only if I lunge deeply fast enough will she catch my spurting semen. I can't imagine what it must be like, the two of us, together, locked, embraced, loved! --Darling, this is madness!

--Total release, Sweetheart! She could feel her heart resounding from her through Sam, and back again. Sam, I'll scream if we don't. I'm so wired I'll be strung out to the sky. It's just physically impossible that we don't. Sam, you're so hard against me. I want to feel you inside. I want you to come in me. I want to take you in and envelope you as the deepest, hardest, longest orgasm I've ever known wracks my senses to oblivion. Sam! Please!

--I want to hear what you'll say when we're naked, flesh to flesh, as we open the doors to the ecstasy of the gods...

--Oh! I know I'll moan...like this...Oh!... Ohhhhhhhhh! Constantly, I'll make those little death sounds. Yes, take me. More. Put it in deeper. Ohhh! That feels so good... Yes. Slowly, slower! I want to feel you way inside. Oh! You're hurting... You're so big. It feels so good! Oh! Fuck me, Sweetheart, faster! deeper! Make it last... Oh! So good! How I love it when your big cock rams deep inside my cunt! It's like tiny explosions inside me, all over! Yes! In and out! Faster! Faster! Harder! Oh! Darling! Oh! Darling! It's so big, I can feel it all over! Deeper! In me! You've got to fuck me deeper! Harder! Ohhhh! Darling! I'mgonnacome! I'mgonnacome! Yes! Yes! Fuck! Fuck! Deep-er-er-er! Deeee--- Oh! Oh! I'm coming! I'm come......inggggggg! Die with me, Darling, die with me!

--There was a Prince and the Princess who lived each in a separate land that was desolate and isolated. So much so, they had no companions of their own age. As they left childhood, and became young adults, they felt the sensations that came to them with a delightful strangeness. Their yearnings became stronger and stronger, but the mystery of the source only became deeper, and more compelling. They found the only moments free from this begirding aloneness was when they were asleep. They discovered that in their dreams they drifted as a mist in the heavens, and when they intermixed, one with the other, there was a harmony that sang with the spheres, from each minute droplet to each minute droplet that brought two halves together. They needed now only to fill each one, atom by atom, with love. They couldn't do this in their own lands, so they looked for another, and came to earth to fulfill the gift of love they'd been given. They do it over and over again, always in different lands. Don't you see why our love is so different, so rare, Mary? You and I are that Prince and Princess.

Ahhhhhhhhwwwww.... Gaaaawwwwwddddddd!

IN VINO VERITAS. Sam filled his father's wine glass, then his mother's, and his own as they gathered for the simple communion of their evening meal. Concetta held the large, round load of Italian bread to her breast slicing off the crust, then holding it out to Germano. The next piece went to Sam. She cut one for herself. His father dug in the sauce, took out the chunk of veal, slicing it expertly into bits. Pasta 'n casa, his favorite, made with love and skill that day by Concetta. The thick, fragrant red tomato sauce had cooked the day through. He passed the grated Romano cheese to his mother. He moved the salt and pepper before Germano, who used both without tasting first. It seemed to Sam a festive occassion although he kept his ear tuned for the ominous deeper note he knew sounded in the distance. It rode on the silence. It rode on his thoughts which paused only briefly to savor the juicy strands accompanied with a bit of meatball, or a thin slice of sausage, or veal. Each bite would burst full of flavor in his mouth. --Mmmmmmmm!

Germano devoured his first two forkfuls without a sound to quiet the grumblings in his hungry stomach. Concetta wound only a bit of pasta on her fork, touched it to the cheese, and sampled it.

--
Come saporito
!
If I must say so for myself.

--Special, Ma. Special. Just like Christmas.

Germano grunted. He raised his glass,
--A la salute!

Each drank, their passport to the land of long-held secrets.

Sam juggled the words and phrases wondering which would be the best introduction to his news. He was not searching for the courage to do so, he knew what he was about. Neither did he wish to be periphrastic or mealy-mouthed. His concern was for these people he loved. If the love was mutual, there would be no hurt. --This is a special meal for me, Ma...

--You said that.

--...because something very important, and exciting has happened to my life, so there must be some changes.

--Changes? What changes, Sam. Want some more bread?

--No, thanks. I'm going to have a home of my own. I'm going to move out.

Germano stolid. Concetta dropped her fork. --What do you mean, 'move out?'

--Just that. I'm moving out tomorrow morning. I found a woman I love very much. We want to be together. We'll get married as soon as we can.

--You'll get married! and what about us? Huh? What happens to your father and me? You leave us to rot here, alone? How do we live?

--I'll do what I can, Ma. Sol is back. I'll talk to him tomorrow. He's always been good to me when I asked for a raise...

--He's given you shit all these years for your blood, that fucking kike-mockey bastard sonofabitch!

--You don't move out! Do you hear! You don't move out!

--Ma, I want a life of my own! I'm sorry you and Pa feel this way. I don't get another chance for this life, I must have it!

--And your mother and father are garbage? You can throw out with the swill not you don't need us no more?

--Come on, Ma. That all you and Pa want from me is my pacheck? Don't you want me to have the life you gave me?

--Sure! It's you life! But just like that! You sit down, make a pig of yourself with our food and say you going abandon us!
Bruta besta
!
You don't move out!

--What do you want?

--Have you girl! You men are beasts and must do the dirty thing! Have her! This putana! But you bring her here! You live here! And you don't abandon us!

--We want to be alone, Ma...

--Your mother's right! You have your own bedroom! What more alone you want?

--It's not what we want, it's not the same.

--Try, Sam! Try! You would make everybody happy. What you miss in not be alone, you have in sharing our happiness. She would not mind, if she love you; if she a good girl.

--You would love her.

--Who is? We know her?

Sam could not remember ever taking as deep a breath in his entire life. It seemed he inhaled for forty-seven minutes straight before he was able to form the words, and say them. --I'm in love with Mary Dolorosso.

It was as if the air in the room was wired to detonate with the words.

Germano slowly lowered his glass to the table.

Concetta folded her hands on her lap, and stared down at them.

Sam stared first at one, then the other, for a full three minutes. He almost didn't hear her, she spoke so quietly, her voice tremulous.

--Sam, Mary Dolorosso is not for you. Do you understand? He shook his head. How could he understand what? Have you...have you... Holy Mary Mother of God!...

--No, we haven't
made love...yet.

--Jesus,
auita me!

--You better just say what you have to say, Ma. I just hope you're not coming up with something to make me change my mind, because I won't.

--This is my death. I knew one day I would have to pay! Sam, Mary Dolorosso is not for you. You cannot be together, or the heaven's split open and curse us all forever. Oh! God! Give me the courage to do this! There was a long pause while she took several deep breaths, and twisted and turned the dish towel tight around her hand. We were young. We were in love. We didn't know and we didn't care what happens after, but were were together. God said there was something to come of it. Sam, must know you are the cause of my dying. Your father doesn't know. She jumped to her feet, the chair clattering to the floor. Holding her forehead, the tears filling her eyes, falling from her face. Mary is your half-sister. Rocco and I...I told your father you were his, and got him marry me. But that's not all. Rocco thought your father knew all the time. That was why he tried to kill him, to let him hang out the window all those stories up all night long. Your father's vendetta against him. And Rocco? His vendetta against us was to make us pay all these years. That's some story. Try to eat the pasta and drink the wine now. Try. You will choke on it.