A Matter of Destiny (4 page)

He shook his head with a rueful grin. "You don't have to fall all over me with such bubbling enthusiasm."

She smiled in response and explained, "I just failed a typing test and interview."

"How do you know?"

His warm concern made her disappointment more palpable. "Well, I think I did." She frowned, going over the experience in her mind once again, debating what she should've said.

"How about a cup of coffee to cheer you up?"

She shook her head. "Thanks, but no."

"Why not?" He tilted his head to one side, reminding her of a puppy in a pet store, trying to persuade a customer to pick him up.

She hesitated. Coffee sounded good, but what would people think, seeing them together? Sharon tossed her head defiantly. She wasn't doing anything wrong. "You're right. Why not?"

Joe touched his hand to her elbow, guiding her through double doors and down a long corridor. Sharon could feel the warmth of his hand through the sleeve of her coat.

"You realize I'm taking you to a pretty ritzy joint, don't you?" he asked.

She shot him a quick look of mock distress and glanced down at her clothes. "I hope I won't embarrass you."

Joe grinned. "As long as you're with me, I think they'll let you in."

Sharon was amazed at how easily she could share his nonsensical humor. She felt good when she was with him and the burden of pain she carried was a little bit lighter.

The cafeteria workers scurried frantically around the lunchroom, getting ready for the throngs of children to invade their domain.

The tinkling sound of a worker stacking glasses and the deeper clatter of ironstone plates made Sharon wonder how much breakage was the norm.

Joe suggested she find a seat while he fetched the coffee.

When he returned, gingerly balancing the two cups, he said, "It may be strong, but at least it's hot. Don't burn your tongue."

He made the warning sound intimate, and Sharon met his eyes. She took the beverage, warming her hands. His gaze warmed the rest of her.

What a nice man, she thought. She'd have liked him even if he wasn't movie-star handsome.

She sniffed appreciably at the aroma of hickory-smoked barbecue sauce in the air, recognizing her friend, Esther Olson, at the same time. She vaguely remembered Esther mentioning her new position as manager.

Sharon waved at the older woman when she caught her eye, and Esther smiled broadly, obviously too busy to chat.

Sharon and Joe talked easily about his teaching and Luke's progress in Math.

"He isn't doing as well as he should," Joe said. "But I guess that's to be expected. He'll need time to adjust after everything that's happened."

"Yes," said Sharon quietly. "We all will."

Damn, Joe thought, why had he reminded her? He waited for the slight jolt for using that word, then watched as Sharon sipped her coffee. He wondered what she was thinking.

How much had she loved her husband? Serena hadn't given him any background.

Had he been good to her? He had no reason to believe he hadn't been. Luke had nothing but wonderful things to say about his father.

Joe was suddenly envious of everything Tom Quinn had once had. He couldn't remember a time when he'd envied a human being more.

Sharon had that faraway look in her eyes, and he wanted her to come back to him. "Sharon," he said softly, his hand touching hers.

Her gaze focused on him, and he was lost in its depth. What had he been about to say? Her son. "Luke will be fine. He's a well-adjusted kid."

Sharon smiled, apparently picturing her younger son. "Yes, I think so." Her green eyes darkened. "But David..." Her voice trailed away.

Joe leaned toward her. "Can I help?" That's why he was here, after all.

She sighed deeply. "I don't know. Do you see him at school?"

"He's not in any of my classes, but I can keep an eye on him."

"I'd appreciate that." Sharon stood suddenly, offering him an outstretched hand. "You've made me feel better, Joe, just by being here."

As Joe watched her go, he thought that was the nicest thing a woman had ever said to him...in any century.

Later that afternoon, Sharon paused and reflected how safe she'd felt with Joe. It would be easy to become dependent on another man, but she was determined to find strength within herself. She also decided not to worry about the interview and concentrate on her sons. She'd been in such a fog; they must feel neglected.

David had always been quiet, but was even more so now. He seemed to dwell in his own world, one in which she held no part. Where had their closeness gone? It had vanished the day Tom died, she realized.

It was terrible how many lives had been shattered by the loss of one.

Each evening, Sharon tried to draw her boys out concerning their activities. Luke became belligerent more than once, and she put it down to the adjustment he had to make. It wasn't like him, her sunny, carefree Luke.

"Don't bug me, Mom, okay?" he said.

Sharon had to swallow the hurt. It would take time, she kept telling herself.

She didn't know how to handle Luke, who'd never been moody. Of course, he
was
going into those teenage years when parents were considered the enemy, or at the least, uncool.

David made an effort to answer her questions about school, but their talks often ended in uneasy silences. Sharon was afraid she was losing her children.

If only Tom were here...he'd kid them all out of their doldrums, and they'd feel like a family again. Then she admitted how often his job had taken him on the road.

It was up to her, as it always had been. Maybe she was stronger than she thought. She remembered how Joe Reardon had made her feel as if he'd believed in her.

Joseph felt a strange sensation come over him as he "heard" Sharon's thoughts. She was thinking about
him
. His face flushed with pleasure.

What a rare gift to share another's mind, and it hadn't happened to him since...since the small boy who was about to die. That assignment had been both painful and poignant.

He'd tried to talk with the other guardians about their missions, but they all seemed to have a clearer perspective than he did. They performed their duties with great joy, and that was that.

Why was it so difficult for him? He suspected, and Serena sometimes hinted, that he needed better control over his emotional involvement.

Easier said than done as he tried to focus in on Sharon's thoughts again. When he was with her, he could feel the tumult beneath the surface and knew her grief caused her great confusion and pain.

He'd gladly take her pain upon himself, but that wasn't allowed. He wondered why not and decided to bring it up at the next guardian meeting.

David was late coming home from school one day, and when Sharon asked where he'd been, he was evasive.

She asked a second time. "I want to know why you're late."

"I was studying. At the library." He didn't look at her, but down at his feet.

"Why don't you study at home? You have that nice desk in your room." Sharon wanted her sons where she could see them. Somehow, she'd keep them safe from harm.

"I had to look up something, okay?" His tone was almost desperate.

Sharon studied his intense young features. His explanation made sense. Maybe she should get off his back and quit acting like the all-protective mother, especially after being so out-of-touch those first few months after...

"I'm sorry, hon. I was just worried. Try and call if you're going to be late, all right?"

He nodded, and mumbled, "Sure," before moving toward the stairs.

Sharon watched him go, feeling helpless. All she'd ever wanted was a close, happy family. Was that too much to ask? Emitting a deep sigh, she flicked on the TV, only to stare, unseeing, at the screen.

Joseph requested a consultation with Serena.

"Her sons are having a rough time with their father's death," he reported.

Serena nodded. "It'll take time for them to heal."

"But, couldn't we hurry the process? Make it easier?"

Serena touched him briefly, sending a surge of illumination through him. "The life journey on earth is often a series of painful struggles," she said. "The strong survive."

Joseph stared off into the distance as if he could see all the souls who'd lived since the beginning of mankind. "They're very brave, aren't they?"

"Yes, Joseph, they are." Serena stood to signal that she was needed elsewhere. "It may not seem fair sometimes, but you'll be able to help by simply being you. Trust me."

Joseph had never felt so helpless. Another bolt of illumination wouldn't hurt, but his superior had already vanished.

When David was late for the fourth time, Sharon demanded to know why. That wasn't being over-protective, just exercising her parental responsibility.

He eyed her defiantly before answering, "Looking for a job."

His answer stunned her. "You don't have to do that. I'll find work soon. Mr. Phelps at the employment office said he'd let me know as soon as something comes up."

David straightened, and Sharon noticed how tall he was. Her son was becoming a man. "We need the money, Mom. I want to help out."

His jaw was squarely set, and she realized she shouldn't argue with him. He was growing up and wanted her to acknowledge that fact. Besides, he needed to keep busy instead of dwelling on unhappy thoughts.

She tried to back down gracefully. "Thank you, David, I do appreciate your help. Had any luck?"

"Not yet, but soon, I hope."

She studied his handsome face, with the dark hair and blue eyes. She'd feel better if he were happier. What he needed now was her love and encouragement.

Sharon attempted a shaky smile. "I can't imagine anyone turning you down."

He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. "Thanks, Mom, but aren't you just a little bit prejudiced?"

"Who, me? Of course not." She ruffled his hair.

He said he had some studying to do, and she asked if he'd seen his brother.

David paused. "He mentioned he was going to practice."

"Practice? What kind of practice?" This was the first she'd heard.

"I don't know. I'm just telling you what he said." David shifted his books and headed up the stairs.

If she couldn't keep track of what her kids were doing now, what would happen when she began working?

Later, Sharon heard a car outside and wondered if someone had given Luke a ride. She didn't see anything when she looked out front.

A few minutes later, he came through the back door, whistling. When he saw his mother, he stopped to take off his shoes.

"Where have you been?" Her words came out sharper than she'd intended.

"Trying out for football."

"Football?! Without talking it over with me?" She propped her hands on her hips.

He didn't answer, but turned to the open door. Joe Reardon stepped into the room and stood behind Luke. Sharon dropped her hands to her sides, flustered by his sudden appearance.

"You knew about this?"

Joe's dark eyes met hers with a steady gaze. "I suggested it."

"Okay, then why didn't
you
tell me?" She was feeling left out, just when she needed her family close.