A Man of Honor (17 page)

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cat said.

Liz got in her face. “Don’t try to hide it. You’ve got that look.”

“What look?”

“That look like you’ve been up all night being naughty,” Jenna said.

“That look like you finally got some, and it was really, really good,” Liz added. “Besides, we saw you two leave together last night looking very cozy.”

“Let’s sit down before Brady comes over here,” Liz said, taking an anxious look around.

“Do you have a thing for him or something?” Jenna asked Liz.

“Of course not,” Liz said, grabbing Cat by the elbow and steering her to a long table where family was gathered. “But when he knew he couldn’t have you, he decided to try to hook up with
me
.”

“Eww,” Cat said.

“Don’t worry. I can handle him. I was trying to be nice, but he’s not getting the hint.”

On the way to the table, Cat looked up to see Preston at the door. Her face immediately heated just thinking of last night.

“Wow, you’ve got it bad,” Liz said.

Cat shook her head. “No, it’s just—just that—well, we got some things settled, and I feel really great about everything. And hopeful for the future.” Yes, of course she did. What could possibly have changed from a few hours ago?

Preston approached and greeted her and the other women, then pulled Cat aside. Dark shadows circled his eyes, and stubble covered his face. His heavy brows were knit into a frown.

“How’s your brother?” Cat asked.

“He’s fine. He’s at my place resting.”

“Then why do you look so upset?” The tiredness wasn’t what disturbed her. He had a wound-up tension about him. She could tell by his posture, the lines of strain in his face, and the way he fidgeted with the spoon in his coffee.

Preston sighed and looked at Cat. “My father was there. He never went back to rehab.”

“Oh. Well, that could be a good thing, right? That he was there for your brother?”

“He’s an angry, bitter man. Always spouting off about something. Everything’s always more about him than anyone else.”

Cat rested a hand on his arm. “It’s a good thing Jared’s got you instead.”

Preston shrugged. “I hope so.”

“Did your father…say anything that upset you?” Just a feeling she had that he was holding something back.

“Look, Cat, my father is always bad news. But he made me realize something. People with problems drag other people down. Relationships suffer. I’ve always known that. Hell, I grew up knowing that. I should know better than to make the same mistakes my father did.”

“You’re nothing like your father.”

“How do you know that when
I
don’t even know that?”

“Because I know.” He drew away from her touch.

“Look, about last night…”

Oh God, no. Those were three words that could never lead to anything good.
Please don’t. Not now
. Not when all of their family and friends were here. Not when she’d finally thought everything was perfect. “W-what about last night?”

“We—went kind of fast. Maybe we should—”

“Oh, hello, Preston,” Cat’s mom said. “Is everything all right? Cat said you had a family emergency.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Kingston,” Preston said. “Everything’s fine.”

“Can I bring you a plate, dear?”

“I’ll go up in a minute, thanks.”

“The wedding was so magical. You all looked so lovely.”

“Speaking of wedding magic,” Jenna said, pointing to Cat and Preston, “maybe you two will be the next couple to the altar.”

Cat saw Preston stiffen. He put up his hands. “That’s not going to happen,” he said. His voice was low but Cat was sure at least Liz, who was on the other side of Preston, heard.

Preston must have seen something in Cat’s face as she processed the comment he’d blurted out so quickly. He tried to backpedal. “I mean we—we’re a long way off from that.”

Cat’s face flushed. Liz and Jenna shot her concerned looks. She tried to make light of it by flipping her hand in a careless wave. “Yeah, really guys, give us a break. I mean, c’mon, we just started dating.”

Liz steered the conversation to another topic. Cat couldn’t say which one due to the noise of all the blood whooshing through her ears.
Be reasonable
, she told herself. Of course he’s going to be reluctant. After all, they’d just spent one night together. The best night of her life. Maybe it hadn’t been like that for him.

“I’m going to get more coffee,” she said as cheerily as she could. “Anyone else like some?”

As she walked away, her mind replayed what had happened last night. Everything had been so amazing. For the first time, she’d lost her inhibitions. Hadn’t felt like she was acting out a script. Could that have possibly been all one-sided?

Preston met her at the coffee station. For the first time, she noticed he was walking slower than usual, and his limp was more pronounced. Dammit, she couldn’t stop her hands from shaking as she poured another cup. He finally set the cup down himself and took up her hands.

His voice sounded soft and compassionate. She knew from the tone what was coming. “Cat, listen. I—this is too new. You can’t expect me to want to shout it from the mountaintops right now. I need some time.”

Suddenly off balance, Cat thrust her hand out behind her to grasp the table, tipping the coffee in the process. For a few seconds, she was mesmerized by the spreading stain as it engulfed the clean white linen.

She looked at Preston. He was unshaved, his hair rumpled. What the hell had happened in that hospital? Maybe under other circumstances she would simply let it pass. She’d understood and forgiven him for being too proud to share his pain with her, but she was done with acting like a doormat whose primary purpose was to please other people instead of herself.

“You need time?” she asked, forcing her voice to remain steady, even though she felt like she was going to hurl at any moment. Maybe he would explain this. Maybe it wasn’t what she thought.

“I—I screwed up my knee somehow this weekend. The docs checked it out last night, and it looks like my surgery’s got to get moved up pretty fast.”

“Oh. You’re upset about your leg and your brother. You’ve been up all night. I—”

“What I’m saying is I need some time by myself. I—I don’t want to make a public announcement right now that we’re together. I think it’s best if—”

“Wait a minute. You took me home with you last night, and now you don’t want to acknowledge what everyone already knows? You’re ashamed that you slept with me? You couldn’t be pushing me away again because that would be impossible.”

Preston looked around. Her family was staring in their direction. “No—it’s not like that. I—I had to take the pain medication after I got back from the ER. I didn’t want to, but I had no choice.”

“You were in that much pain, and you didn’t even tell me?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

“Preston, my God, it’s okay to take medicine when you need it.” She waited until he finally made eye contact. “It doesn’t mean you’re going to become an addict like your father.”

Suddenly, everything she’d been through with him over the past year welled up inside her. She’d ridden the roller-coaster ride for a long time and she thought that last night, she’d finally gotten off. She couldn’t get back on again. She couldn’t spend more time wondering if he cared about her. And she needed to tell him that right now. “All I’ve ever done from the moment I saw you at that wedding last September was love you. Yes, Preston, I love you, and I’m sure that’s going to send you running even further away. If you plan to wait and solve all your problems and then come looking for me, I won’t be here. I can’t live my life waiting for you to love me back.”

“Is everything all right here?” Derrick had stepped up to the coffee table. Behind him, her parents, grandmother, Liz, and Jenna were gathered with apprehensive looks on their faces.

“No, actually, Derrick, it’s not,” Cat said. Preston had the decency to look uncomfortable. “We lied to you. Turns out we’re not dating after all. We were just trying to cover up that uncomfortable position you found us in last week. I’m sorry I lied.”

Derrick’s brows knit down, and he stared at Preston, but he didn’t say anything. For now. Cat didn’t really give him any time to respond, because she was on a roll, and she couldn’t stop. “Grandmeel, I left that job interview in Charlotte last week. Do you know why? I hate being a journalist. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hunting down stories. I want to be a teacher. An underpaid, overworked, happy teacher. I’m going back to school, and I’ll find a job to pay my way.”

The concerned faces of her family stared at her, the crazy woman who was making a scene. Preston moved forward, but she put out her hand to stop him. “I’ll be fine. You see, unlike you, I’m not afraid to lean on my family and friends. They may not like all my decisions, but I know they’ll still love me in the end.”

She got two steps away when she spun to face Preston again. “By the way,” she said, “I really hope everything goes okay with your knee, but I think it’s time you took my picture out of your wallet.”

Cat walked out of the lodge and got halfway through the parking lot before she realized her car was in a hospital parking lot in Charlotte somewhere. Fortunately, Liz was behind her, holding up a car key. “This way, babe,” she said, tipping her head over to where her own car was parked.

Cat managed to get into the car before the tears started leaking out. “Oh my God, I’ve made a scene. Thank God Nick and Maddie are long gone.”

Liz put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. You finally told everyone exactly how you feel. Besides, Nick and Maddie are on their honeymoon. The last thing they’re thinking about is us.”

“I’ve ruined the breakfast. Everyone was happy. I should have kept my big mouth shut.”

“Nah, I don’t think it’s completely ruined.”

“Why not?”

“Once Derrick beats up on Preston, everyone will feel much better.”

Chapter Sixteen

Lacey walked into Preston’s office at Kingston Shoes and put a cup of coffee on his desk.

He looked up from his Monday morning paperwork. “You never bring me coffee.” Derrick never laid a hand on him after the breakfast yesterday, but Preston must look pretty beat up anyway if Lacey was going out of her way to do things for him. Actually, he might feel better if Derrick
had
roughed him up. Anything was better than feeling his acute disappointment in their friendship.

“Yeah, well, I even made a pot myself. Let’s just say I’m desperate for anything that will turn you back into a human being.”

“What are you talking about?” He waved his hand over his desk full of paperwork. “I’m sitting here doing my job.”

“You passed my desk without saying hi, you haven’t said a word to anyone, and your shirt’s on backward. Not to mention you look like you haven’t slept for a week. Have you showered?”

“Of course I showered.”

“Because your hair is sticking up.” She licked two fingers then leaned over to smooth it down, and he backed away.

“Okay, enough already. Thanks for the coffee.” Preston took a sip and made a face. “Except this stuff might just kill me instead of help me.”

“Is there anything I can help with?”

He set the cup down. Misery swamped him. Hell, there wasn’t anything anyone could do to get him out of the mess he created. He couldn’t stop thinking about Cat. Couldn’t stop hearing his father’s words echoing in his ears. The drilling pain in his knee wasn’t helping either, but at least it was more under control now. “Thanks, Lacey. But no. There’s nothing.”

“Well, I’m right here if you need anything, okay?” She gave him a concerned look before she began walking out.

“Wait.”

She turned around. “Yes?”

Preston closed his eyes. This was hard, opening himself up to people. “This is our last day here, and I—I wanted to thank you for—for always doing your job. I know I’m not very expressive about things, especially these last few months, but I value your service. You’re a great employee. Even if you do meddle in my personal life.”

“I’m not sorry I told Cat, if that’s what you’re talking about. But thank you. I’ll take that compliment under advisement the next time I ask for a raise.”

She stood there, unmoving. He put his elbows on the desk and raked his hands through his hair. “I lost her, Lacey. I lost her for good.” He didn’t know why he said it. Usually he handled his pain by himself. Maybe he was sick of being an island. Or maybe his despair was just too great, and he could really use a friend.

“I’m sorry,” she said gently. “Can I say something?”

“No, but I have a feeling you’re going to do it anyway.”

“You’re one of the kindest men I’ve ever met. You gave me this job and the opportunity to better myself. You paid for my mother’s cancer consult at MD Anderson and made sure I wouldn’t find out about it.”

“But you did anyway?”

She grinned. “You’re smart, but you can’t hide much from me. Anyway, boss, you cut everyone slack…except for one person. Maybe it’s time to give yourself a break.”

Preston wished he could, but all he could think of was how hopeless his situation was. Surgery followed by more months of rehab. Of needing help. Of dealing with his own problems and head issues. Of feeling like he wasn’t ever going to be a whole man again. How could he ask Cat to sign up to ride with him on his own personal journey to hell? “Thanks. I—I’m not exactly sure how to do that.”

“Well, if it helps, Cat seems to love you just as you are. Crankiness and limp and all. You might not be able to find that anywhere else. Think about that, boss.” He lifted a brow to warn her not to get too cheeky, but of course she ignored him. “Besides giving you my insightful advice, is there anything else I can do?”

“Well, there is one thing,” he said, cracking a smile. “Promise you’ll never make me coffee again. This stuff tastes worse than sewer water.”

He heard her chuckle as she left the office. “Lacey,” he called.

She stuck her head back in the doorway. “Yes, my liege. What is it?”

“I—I wanted to tell you you’re a good friend.” He cleared his throat. “And I appreciate your advice.”

“It’s damn good advice, too. You should take it,” she said as she finally left.

God, it was hard being open and honest with people. He didn’t really feel better but—well, it
was
good to have a friend.

Lacey hadn’t been gone a minute when a knock on the door made Preston look up. “May I come in?” Henry Kingston asked.

Preston moved to stand, an old habit from the military that had to do with respecting your seniors, but Henry shooed him back down. “No need to stand up for me, son. I thought we’d take a few minutes to talk business. Is now a good time?”

“Of course.” Henry shut the door, an unusual move that made Preston’s stomach churn worse than the coffee. He half expected Derrick to show up as well for a private roughing up.

“Look, Mr. Kingston, if this is about—”

The older man cut him off. “I know you’re leaving today, and I wanted to make sure we’re squared away on the new CEO. I also heard you’re headed back to surgery and want to wish you the best.” Preston couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around the fact that this man was still talking to him after what he’d done to his daughter, but he forced himself to keep it professional.

“Thanks,” he said, clearing his throat. Before the silence could get uncomfortable, he got to business. “I’ve reviewed the files on all the candidates,” Preston said. “Brady’s definitely the one that scores the highest on education, competence, and likability factors.” Basically, he was a shoo-in. Preston squeezed the bridge of his nose and tossed the file to the desk. “But there’s a concern I have.”

“What is it?”

“He talks all the proper technical talk—metrics and units and markets and outsourcing work to China to increase productivity, but—”

“But what?”

“He has no heart for the mission of the company, sir. He’s all about productivity and the bottom line. I’m sure he’d make the company a success on paper, but he doesn’t seem to care about the tradition of the shoes, that they’re American made, that many of the folks in town have been working here for two generations. My concern is that he’d sacrifice people for profit.”

Henry sat back in his chair and laughed.

“Sir?” Preston raised a brow. Did he say anything funny?

“I knew I liked you, son. You just said what I came in here to say. This Brady guy looks perfect on paper, but he’s going to send the company in a direction I’ve fought against all my life. I know every worker’s name. Their families, too. Their kids and now even their grandkids. I want my company to be a place where people are proud to work. Where they’re encouraged to be creative and contribute to the products and the good of the company, not be robots shuffled on an assembly line, doing the same task a zillion times a day.”

“I can continue to screen résumés for you even after I leave town. I think broadening our search to people who are in management at more specialty-oriented manufacturing companies—” He scratched a few notes on a pad.

“I had a slightly different idea.” Henry sat forward.

Preston looked up. Henry was eyeballing him calmly, his hands interlocked, slowly twiddling his thumbs. “Why don’t you do it?” Henry asked.

“I beg your pardon?” His job was to match CEOs to the right companies, not run a company himself. He traveled all over, barely had a chance to enjoy his lake house, let alone be a part of a community. Hell, he’d never been part of any community.

“You understand the direction Maddie’s going with her shoes, and how we also want to maintain our standard lines. You’re going to be stationary for a while as you rehab your injury. Why don’t you do the job?”

Preston put down the pen and stared at Cat’s father. “Frankly, sir, after what’s happened between me and your daughter, I’m not sure how you can make me such an offer.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Cat. It has to do with you.”

Preston must have looked puzzled. He was completely floored. How could this man, who must surely want to kill him for hurting his daughter, be offering him the top job at his company? He was asking him to take a leadership role at a time when he thought of himself as anything but.

“I’m humbled, sir, but I don’t deserve your consideration. I tried to push your daughter away after I got hurt, but she kept coming back and coming back until I just couldn’t help myself. But I’m not the right guy for her.”

“Care to explain that?”

“Men in my family don’t handle long-term injury well.”

His eyes narrowed. “Do you love my daughter?”

God, of course he did
. But he would only poison her optimism and her belief in people. “That’s a complicated question.”

Henry laughed again. What was with this guy, anyway? He was sitting there as calmly as if they were having a chat about last night’s ball game. “Can I show you something?” Henry asked.

Without waiting for a reply, Henry stood up and lifted his right pant leg to midcalf level. Preston craned his neck over the desk to see. At first, he saw nothing wrong. His sock over his calf. As he raised the pants, he saw the unquestionable cosmetic cover of a prosthesis. Preston looked up at Henry, whose eyes were the same bright green as Cat’s.

“Grenada, 1983. I was just married at the time. I came back with more missing than my lower leg.” He paused. “I know what you’re dealing with, son. You feel like you’re not going to be yourself again, but believe me, you will be. You’ll rely on the strength of character deep inside you that made you go fight for your country in the first place, and if you’re smart, you’ll rely on the people who love you.”

“With all respect, my father was a vet, too,” Preston said. “His injury is what started all his problems. I don’t want to drag your daughter down with me.”

“You’re nothing like your father. Even before he went to war, he may have lacked what I call a moral compass, but I’m not here to trash anyone. The point is, it doesn’t matter what your father did or what his life’s been like. You’re an officer and a graduate of West Point, and you can use your mind and your reason to change the arc of your life. Just because you were born to that father doesn’t mean you’ll end up like him. You’re your own man—you always have been, and you always will be.”

“I’m sorry for hurting Cat.”

“I’d say that to who needs to hear it. Go out there and be the man you were meant to be—someone who isn’t ashamed to say he needs someone.” Henry stood. “I came to say what I had to say, so I’ll be going,” he said.

Preston got up and dumbly shook Henry’s hand. For once, words escaped him. Was it possible to escape a past you wanted no part of? To surmount problems that felt like they’d never go away? Maybe it was, if you wanted something more than anything you’ve ever wanted in your life.

He wanted to be whole, to have love.
To have Cat
, whom he loved with all his heart. He wasn’t sure he could be the man she needed him to be. But maybe it was time to try.

“Think about things,” Henry said with a wave as he left the office.

When the new driver Preston hired dropped him off at home, he was surprised to find his brother pacing the great room in his bare feet and texting on his phone, his hair still wet from a shower. Thank God Preston had gotten him out of the hospital before their father had an opportunity to get to him. “Glad you’re up and about,” Preston said, setting a bag of groceries down on the Carrara marble island in the kitchen. “How are you feeling?”

“Besides still having the headache of a lifetime, I’m okay. Listen, Pres, I—I need to get back to school. It’s bad enough I stayed here an extra day. I’m trying to get one of my friends with a car to come pick me up.”

Jared had finals coming up and Preston understood he wanted to get back. But he also understood he was embarrassed by what had happened and they hadn’t talked much about it. Jared, still pacing, looked edgy and ready to bolt. “I can get you back to school,” Preston said, “but I thought we’d have a meal together first. What do you say?”

“I really should go. I’ve got classes all day tomorrow, and I feel like I’m behind.”

Preston walked over to his brother and put his hand on his shoulder. “Stay for dinner. It’s been a long time since we had a talk. My driver can take you back right afterward. Please.”

Something flickered in his brother’s eyes. Preston had the sensation of looking in the mirror. Maybe his brother was just as in need of someone to reach out to him as Preston was. He wanted to reach him. Have a heart-to-heart. Make sure he knew he was loved even though he screwed up.

Jared broke into a sudden grin. “Depends on what’s in the bag.”

“Two sirloin steaks, baked potatoes, salad. Thought I’d toss the steaks on the grill.”

“Dessert?”

“Ice cream.”

“I’ll stay.”

They worked together to prepare the meal. Preston refrained from opening a beer, pulling out a couple of Cokes instead. They ate dinner on the patio, under the shade of some big oaks. A light breeze was blowing off the lake that made the spring evening pleasant.

“So tell me about your plans after graduation,” Preston said. He’d gotten Jared to stay for dinner. Now to get him to talk.

Jared shrugged. He was playing with his Coke can, crushing it between his hands. “Don’t worry. I turned in my grad school acceptance.”

“Could you please sound a little more thrilled about that?” Preston asked, stretching out his bad leg near the fire pit.

“Grad school’s important, and I’m going to be sure to make something of myself.” The can crunched as he squeezed.

“I know you are. I’m not worried about that.” Preston took a sip of Coke, trying to figure out just the right thing to say but not having a clue. What would Cat do? Meet the problem head-on, that’s what. “Jared, it’s okay if you don’t want to become a psychologist.”

His brother went quiet. He spent a long time looking into the fire pit. And mutilating the can.

“I really like psych,” Jared said. “I’m just not sure I want to listen to people’s problems all day.”