A Love We Deserve (True Love Book 2) (3 page)

“Your scent drives me wild. Every time you’ve been near me, your delicious smell gets me hard. Do you know how difficult that’s been, working so closely with you? You’ve made my life a hell on earth. In the best way possible.”

I felt his lips move against my neck as he spoke. He had soft stubble on his face that was tickling me, and driving me wild.

“I had no idea you felt this way. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

I tried to make eye contact as I spoke, but he nuzzled into my nape even deeper.

“I’ve never crossed this line at work. My professional reputation is important to me, but tonight I thought if I didn’t do something, I was going to explode. Can I make love to you?”

He pulled back and stared deep into my eyes. His swollen lips, the sweat on his brow and his rapid breathing told me how much he needed me…
wanted
me. I didn’t want to believe that he was just horny, and that it had been a long time since he’d had sex. It felt like much more than that. He had lust in his eyes, but he also had tenderness in his movements. The way he touched me, the way he spoke. He made me feel like we could be more, and for the first time in a long time, I needed that feeling.

I gave him the go-ahead with another slight nod of my head. My body was wet with perspiration, and I shivered as he removed my clothes. He took his time and appreciated every inch of my body. He began with my pants, and worked his way up until I was only in my bra and panties. He quickly shed his own clothes and grabbed the large throw that was artfully arranged on the end of the sofa. He lowered his warm body back atop mine and covered the two of us with the blanket.

“Did you forget something?” I looked down at my bra.

“No, not yet. I want to savor this moment. If I see you completely naked right now, I won’t be able to control myself and I want this to last. Let me feel your beautiful skin against mine. Let me warm you up first.”

Warm me, he did. I had been shivering from being sweaty and bare, and he made me warm and pliable. I felt his hips begin to move very slowly against mine. His large erection was the center of attention for sure, but he took his own sweet time exploring my body. He felt my breasts through my bra, which, thank God, was one of my sheerest and prettiest. He pressed his lips on each one gently like he was kissing something fragile. His warm lips made their way down my stomach to my panties. He slowly kissed his way down to the wet, hot spot. The thin fabric of my underwear let the wetness of his lips penetrate right through. I was on fire and the teasing nature of his kisses was fanning the flames. He clamped down on the top of my panties with his teeth, and yanked them down aggressively. I could feel his heart beating faster in his chest against my skin, and I knew he was reaching his boiling point.

“I need to fuck you, now. Can I fuck you?” He growled through tight lips as my panties were still between his teeth.

“Yes, fuck me!”

I was ready, more than ready. I knew as soon as he entered me, I would come. He rose up and threw off the blanket covering us. He ripped open my bra, and began licking and sucking my nipples like a starving man. He shoved his face into my crotch, and assaulted my over-sensitized skin with his tongue and mouth. He brought his glistening face back up to my mouth and kissed me sloppily. I had never had a man do that to me, and it was so sexy. He slipped under me somehow, and flipped me so I was straddling him. He grabbed my waist and lifted me up over his large cock. He shoved me down forcefully and let out a loud groan. If anyone were still in the building, they would have heard him for certain.

I moaned at the same time he entered me, and with two hard thrusts I could feel myself heading to the edge. I’d never had an orgasm like that before. It began to rise from deep inside me, and it pulsated around him. I felt his cock swell even bigger, and he started to shake. Another loud groan and he stilled. He poured himself into me deeply. He was holding my body down hard against him so that he was completely inside me up to his balls. I felt him throb and release against my insides, over and over again. He pulled me to him and we kissed, a long, hard, open mouth kiss.

We both lay spent, exhausted. Not just from the sex, but the release of pent-up emotions. Little did I know when I went to work that day, that my life would be turned upside-down. I pried open my make-up smeared eyes, and stared at him. His breath was soft, and he had a look of pure contentment. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him that relaxed before. Now that I was semi-conscious, my mind started to race. I was scared that had I really screwed up by doing this. He said he respected me, but how many twenty-three-year-olds hear that everyday from guys who want them in bed? He seemed sincere, but I wasn’t sure. I needed to let him determine the next move.

He struggled in our tight space to roll over onto his side. His eyes popped open and we were nose to nose. He smiled like the Cheshire cat and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I was stunned. I really thought I would get the awkward excuse that he had to get up early, maybe I should go, then arrive at work the next day only to discover I’d been transferred to the mailroom. I couldn’t have been more thrilled. It never occurred to me how attracted I was to him. All the cynicism from my previous relationship had clouded my perception. I felt like the floodgates had opened, and I was awash with hope for the future. Maybe all men
weren’t
like Jeff. Maybe I could have love, or at least some really great sex. Either way, I was in.

“That was incredible.”

He looked into my eyes as he said those words, a smile still tattooed on his face. He leaned in to kiss me, and it was the most loving, gentle kiss I had ever experienced. My senses were finely tuned to him. We kissed for the longest time, slowly and with purpose. He eventually rolled back over on top of me, and I could feel his desire once again. As we continued to kiss, he slowly entered me. We moved in perfect rhythm. He opened his eyes and we locked in on each other as we made love. He never once looked away from my face or closed his eyes. He kept his pace slow and deliberate until I came, then he released himself for a second time into me. I had been thoroughly fucked twice by a man who just hours before I was a little scared of.

I’d never had feelings that strong for anyone before. I felt as if I loved him. I knew better than to confuse sex and love, but my feelings for him were powerful. I wanted to stay in our private bubble for as long as possible. He winced as he broke our bond and stood. He reached for my hand without saying a word. I put my hand in his and he led us to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, and led me in. We hugged and kissed in between trying to get clean. He washed my hair, and lovingly washed every inch of my body. The morning light was a beautiful orange-pink coming through the window. I had to be dreaming.

Stark realization broke my trance. Very soon, people, a
lot
of people, would be filing into the office. Even on a Saturday, this place was busy. That was all I needed: gossip about me hooking up with the boss.

“Mr. Kennedy? I think we need to hurry. The office is opening soon.”

He looked at me like I had just sprouted horns.

“
Mr. Kennedy
? Really? That makes me feel pretty creepy. You know my first name Melanie, please use it.”

He smiled at me, and grabbed my butt. He did get the message though, and we finished up our shower. Thankfully my clothes were still clean, but it would be obvious that I had been there all night. We got dressed, he wore fresh clothes from his stash, a bit more casual for a Saturday, and I made do with my day-old outfit and torn bra. He came to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled into my neck.

“Let’s go out for breakfast before everyone gets here. You can go home to change, then come back later so we can get that damn contract finished.”

Wow. He smelled good, and looked even better. I felt like a person who got glasses for the first time. Everything was crystal clear, and seemed new. He was new to me. Even though I’d known him for months, this was the first time I saw him as a
man
, a
super hot
man, and not just my boss. I noticed details in his face. His gorgeous, speckled green eyes, his small smile lines outside his eyes, and his knockout body. I had to have been in a serious fog to be blind to all of this right in front of me everyday.

We hurried to escape the building before any one else arrived. We walked hand in hand over to the diner across the street. We ate and talked so comfortably with each other, it was as if we’d been together for years. I could tell he felt it, too. He frequently touched my hand or my face throughout the meal. He told me all his stories, and I gave him as many as I could. I didn’t really have much of a life before I came to Chicago so there wasn’t a lot to tell. He boldly kissed me in front of our building before we parted ways. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t the least bit worried about co-workers seeing us together. I couldn’t say the same. I didn’t want anyone treating me differently, which I knew would happen. I hugged him once more, and headed back to my apartment to change clothes and freshen up. My feet never touched the sidewalk.

* * *

These memories are bittersweet. The first ones with Jeff left me bitter, and the second was sweet, for a blink in time. That was more than ten years ago. May as well be a lifetime.

I’ve blamed myself for Chris’ cheating over the years. Well, not his cheating, but the karma that came back to me. I never would have allowed
anything
to happen between us had I known he was married. He gave nothing away. To this day, I still don’t know how his wife was as shocked as she claimed to be that he was cheating. In our marriage, Chris has done all but brought his flings home and ask me to do their laundry. When he explained to me later how he and his wife were unhappy because they couldn’t have kids, it seemed like a logical explanation. I believed him when he told me that he really did love me, and that he and his wife just didn’t belong together.

Never did I allow myself to think that he was just a cheater. At first, I denied it. No wife wants to admit that her husband is stepping out, no matter how many glaring signs there are. The problem is that you begin to de-value yourself. I allowed his actions to alter my perception of who I was, instead of placing the blame where it belonged, on him, I kept telling myself that it was me.
I’m
the one who drove him into the arms of other women by something I did or didn’t do.

His ex-wife, Suzanne, wanted nothing. No alimony, no lump sum, not even her car. She came from old Chicago slaughterhouse money, so for her it wasn’t worth spending more time with him in a lawyer’s office. That’s why I never fully bought the idea that our fling was the first time he had cheated on her. Those actions seemed like a woman who had just had enough, a last straw sort of deal. He won’t be getting out that cheaply with me. I know he has more money than I can count, and God knows his sons and I will get it. I’ll make sure of that.

Chapter 3

I slowly meander around my house.
My
house. He was rarely ever here, but now it’s really just mine. I feel a jolt of energy that makes me want to run and grab anything and everything that reminds me of him and destroy it. My mind is racing, and it’s telling my body to do the same. The first thing I see, our framed wedding photo, I grab. I heft it high over my head with both hands and send it smashing against the stone floor. Benny whimpers and runs out of the room, his tail between his legs. That felt way too good. The glass frame turned to dust, particles hanging in the air. I twist my head back and forth looking for the next victim. Aha! The big-screen TV. Chris had insisted on that ugly, too-large-for-our-living-room monstrosity. I picture him watching his precious sports while shushing the boys, that image is enough to help me pick up a heavy vase unfortunate enough to be within my reach and heave it at the screen with both hands. Dead center.
Poof
… more dust and glass. The cathartic nature of my destructive mood could reduce this whole house to rubble.

My heart is pounding and it feels exhilarating. I need to use this energy in a more positive manner. I take a trash bag and run upstairs. I go into every room and remove anything that reminds me of him. Even though I know the boys wouldn’t notice, I don’t touch their rooms or anything in them. There are few things that Chris has given the boys just from him, so I decide to leave them alone. I might be angry, but I can’t be cruel to my kids.

The “trash” is gathered, and thrown into the can. Some of the garbage is worth quite a bit of money, but I don’t care. It must be destroyed. I can’t face the mess I made earlier, so I call Katie to ask for a favor.

“Hey, girl. Is Jason still around? I could use a hot janitor to clean up for me. Tell him I’ll buy him a boat with Chris’ money.”

“Should I even ask? Do you want to come here while he cleans? Does he need a body bag, or will a broom do?”

Katie giggles, but it could have been true. If I had been alone in the house with Chris just now, I could have sent that vase hurling toward the back of his head.

“Nope, it’s a dry mess. No blood. Tell him to bring his vacuum, though. There’s quite a bit of glass around.”

Katie’s quiet on the other end for a few moments.

“OK. He’ll be right over.”

* * *

Jason and I pass on the sidewalk heading for each other’s house. He smiles at me, and I think I’ll melt. Not in a lustful way for
him
, even though he’s the hottest thing around, but because I haven’t had a man show me kindness or affection like that in so long. I had shut down my libido long ago. Chris stopped touching me after John was born, out of resentment I think. We had sex if it was our anniversary or if he’d had a much to drink, but that was about the extent of it. I never wanted John to be an only child, especially with such a cold fish for a father, so I would seduce him as often as I could when I knew I was fertile. Once pregnant, he wouldn’t touch me at all. I had Matthew two and a half-years after John, then Luke came two years after him. I knew, even back then, that he was getting it somewhere else. No guy is ever that hot and cold when it comes to sex. Oh, God.
Sex
. How am I ever going to jump back into having sex! I must be terrible at it by now. Our sex had become so perfunctory; I wouldn’t even know where to begin!

Katie is outside watering her plants when I get there. She drops her can and rushes to my side.

“Are you OK? You look like you’re going to be sick!”

She grabs my shoulders, and gently guides me into her house like I’m going to break.

“Kat, I just had a terrible thought. I’m going to have to have sex again!”

Realizing that I’m not going to throw up, she shoves me into a kitchen chair.

“That’s it? Really? You had me scared to death! By the look on your face I thought it was something important!”

“But this
is
important! What have I done? I’ve let me body go because I thought no one would ever see me naked again! Even Chris would only have sex in the dark. Under the covers. With an eye mask.”

She laughs hard, and pushes me again.

“Stop! You have a beautiful body. If Chris did all that, then
he
was the one hiding. You’re a knockout, and I’d bet you could get laid by sundown!”

She smiles and moves her eyebrows up and down.

“It’s a wee bit soon for that, don’t you think? Of course, I’m sure Chris has already had his congratulatory screw by now. Maybe twice,” I say, trying to be funny.

How I wish that were a joke, but I really think it’s true. Asshole.

She and I are still chatting when Jason comes back.

“Holy
shit
, Mel! Feel better? I had no idea a television could explode like that! Anything else of his you feel like annihilating, give me first crack, OK? That TV didn’t deserve that fate. I could have given it a good home.”

He is so adorable. Why can’t I find a guy like him? Unfortunately, they are few and far between. Too many sleazeballs out there to go through first, and I just don’t know if it’s worth it. Maybe I’ll just get another dog, or a few more cats.

“Well, I do feel better, and just be glad I stopped after the flat screen. I felt like I could have taken down that house brick by brick with my bare hands. Thank you, Jason, you have no idea how much it means to me to have you guys to clean up my messes.”

They both understand the double meaning of my gratitude. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have seen how good marriage is supposed to be. No one should ever have to live a life of misery at the hand of someone else.