A Love Least Expected (4 page)

A hot shower later we finally managed to sate our lust at least temporarily and remain dressed while in the same room. The awkward tension from earlier dissipated and left me searching for the new path of this relationship. Cade spoke of all the usual things he always did, but with a new found tenderness in his eyes.

Every time he shot me one of those glances, my heart fluttered and left me scrambling for my thoughts. I was at a loss on my new reactions to this man I’ve known for more than four years. Each time his hand brushed against me, it was worse. At least I knew that yesterday’s reaction to him hadn’t been because of the alcohol or a lack of sex. My body responded to him at every level.

The sex drove me wild, and unlike my previous lovers, Cade seemed to have an uncanny understanding of what I needed. In fact, even more than I did for that matter. His quiet control and the fisting my hair, the thoughts alone sent fresh waves of desire to flood my system again. My tender sex clenched and I stomped down the idea. At least for now.

We sat on the floor, cross-legged on the area rug sharing a pizza and I stared at him. I loved looking at him but more than that I was curious as to how he knew. I tried to gleam the information him, maybe a secret smile or a certain look gave him a hint. I needed to know.

“Cade can I ask you something?” I got out between bites.

“You know you can ask me anything Pay.”

“How did you…um...know to do some of those things in bed?”

“We did a lot of things, which ones are you asking about.”

A guilty smile lifted his mouth, he was enjoying watching me squirm. “Come on. You seemed to know what I needed?”

“That’s because I did.”

“How?”

“Call it insider information.”

“What?” A sudden shot of panic hit me. Did he discuss me with someone else?

“Relax Payton, I’ve been listening. For four years, I’ve listened to every complaint about the men you’ve been with. It made it pretty easy to know what not to do.”

Shame sent heat rushing to my face, I ducked my head and hid behind my hair. The truth, that he stood on the side and listened to me complain about my boyfriend's intimate inefficiencies, made me cringe. It must have been like… I have no clue what it was like, but I knew I didn’t think I could do it.

“Cade I’m so sorry.”

He pressed his index finger to my lips, silencing me. Steel formed in his eyes as he fixed me with a stare that brokered no arguments.

“There is nothing for you to apologize for. I knew what I was doing and could have chosen to walk away. No one made me stay; I did it to myself because the truth was I needed to be near you. Being your friend was important to me, and it still is, so let it go.”

His finger slid down from my lips and his hand cupped my chin pulling me towards him. He leaned over and pressed his lips hard against mine in a possessive way as if telling me that his previous behavior was in the past. This was now.

He broke the contact leaning back slightly before releasing my face. His expression trying to tell me something I didn’t understand, before he glanced down at his watch.

“Pay, I need to get going. I have that trip in the morning I told you about.”

I remembered him telling me he had meetings about opening a second clinic the first in a franchise. I was happy for him but didn’t want him to go. Not after just finding him.

“I remember.”

His laughed echoed through my loft. “It’s only for a few days. I’ll be back Friday night and Saturday is Valentine’s Day. I’m taking care of everything, and we’ll talk. I’ll call you.”

With all the grace, only a seasoned athlete could possess, he raised himself to standing without the use of his hands and carried the remnants of our meal over to the kitchen. Grabbing his jacket off the hook, he slipped it on and fished his keys out of his pocket to start his car.

Still sitting in the middle of the floor I watched him get ready to leave. The exact same thing he’d done hundreds of times since I’d known him, only this time was different. This time I wanted him to stay, not for a little longer, not for an hour. I wanted him to stay in a wake up in his arms kind of way which scared me.

“You’re not going to say goodbye.” He taunted from the door.

Without his finesse, I stood and walked across the apartment to say goodbye, attempting to remove the pout from my face. I plastered on a smile that I'm sure didn’t fool him and reached up towards him standing on my tip-toes to kiss him goodbye.

Both of his hands seized my head as he brought his mouth down on mine. His tongue demanded entrance and I opened to him with a moan. Our tongues danced as he held my face to his savoring his embrace. His kiss made me dizzy, made me feel desired and wanted. No, his kiss made me feel like a woman loved.

The grip on my face eased just before he broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against mine a minute longer then stepped back and reached for the door knob.

“I’ll call you.”

I raised my hand and gave him a weak wave before he disappeared out the door. I put the same hand over my lips in an attempt to seal the kiss in place. I didn’t understand what exactly was happening with us, but if it felt this good it had to right.

The time had come to face the music. I turned and walked towards the counter where I’d left my phone. The only good thing about having to do this was at least this would keep me busy. I scrolled through my recent calls and tapped Kylie’s number. Of course, she answered on the first ring.

Kylie to my surprise found the news about Cade and me, interesting, but not earth shattering.

“The guy is heterosexual after all. I was sure he would end up with one of us. I should have known it would be you. You two will be great together.”

I was left speechless; I had stopped myself from considering Cade objectively while my friends all believed him fair game. He just hadn’t been interested in any of us, until now.

The days after Cade left my apartment dragged; time seemed to have all but stopped. The highlights were his daily phone calls to check up on me. I chided myself at the giddy way I felt as I listened to his rich voice explaining what he’d accomplished that day. The smooth roll of his laugh when I said something funny had me smiling to myself.

I shared all of the mundane nonsense that I did in a day, and to his credit, he listened as if he was genuinely interested. When I questioned him about it, he promised he was interested because I did it. The story about the girls reaction to the subject of us being together had taken less time than I expected. He laughed and said he’d expected as much but confided their opinions didn’t matter to him at that point.

It was if he’d been given a script of all the right things to say to make me melt. By Thursday, I needed his call, and even more desperate to see him on Friday. His flight only landed in the middle of the night. Saturday was Valentine’s Day and he wanted to wait to see me until he came to pick me up. The thought was romantic but frustrating at the same time.

Friday night I distracted myself by shopping. The girls joined me while I wandered the mall looking for the perfect outfit to wear on Saturday. I internally debated whether I needed to get him something or if it was too soon. I decided on a corny card with the right sentiments and some extra skimpy scarlet red lingerie. It was what every man wanted. Right? I hated being unsure of myself but all of a sudden getting this right was huge.

After trying on mountains of dresses, I found the one. The dress was the perfect blend of sassy and sweet, of sophisticated and seductive of innocent and naughty. The dress was a stretch knit made of some Lycra blend, hugging my every cure. The rounded neck and fitted arms covered my skin and the skirt fell all the way to the floor. The open back, that stopped just above my butt, was what sold me on the idea. From the front demure and elegant, but from behind I appeared sexy and provocative.

The girls whooped the agreement in unison and a few minutes later we were on our way to have dinner together shopping bags in tow. We settled into a family restaurant at the end of the mall and were fortunate enough to have scored a booth. We’d barely set our bags down when it started.

“So you and Cade, huh? Nice.” Dawn waggled her eyebrows at me, but I knew she was just taunting me. My skin wasn’t so sure and I felt it heat under her gaze.

“Leave her alone Dawn, you’re just jealous cause he wouldn’t flirt with you.” Kylie tried to intervene on my behalf.

“No, really I want details. We all wondered what he was like for years, now we can know for sure.” Dawn insisted.

“Dawn, you are seriously twisted,” Avery added giving Dawn a scathing look, abandoning her phone. “Two of our friends are together, let’s give them some space.”

“Personally I don’t want to know. But I know someone looks happy.” Kylie’s sing song voice teased while she smiled at me from across the table.

The heat consuming me made the restaurant unbearably warm. Dampness formed under my cotton top. Although I may have discussed previous boyfriends with them, Cade was off limits for more reasons than one. I could have hugged Avery at that moment, and reminded myself to make sure later I did.

“We are happy, but my lips are sealed. This isn’t some stranger this is our Cade you're talking about.”

Thankfully they let the subject go. The conversation drifted to safer topics like work, family, and of course, shopping and all of my earlier discomfort was forgotten. We indulged in nachos, cheese sticks, and chicken wings, not skinny girl food but oh so yummy. We talked too loud, laughing and joking until I realized that normally Cade would have been here too. Would he join us anymore?

My mood dampened and I said my goodbyes to the girls making sure to hug Avery extra hard for her support. I needed to be home. There would be no call from Cade tonight as his flight was already in the air. Excitement and disappointment warred with each other for precedence. I was disappointed that I wouldn’t get to listen to his voice tonight while I lay in bed, but I was anxious to see him tomorrow. I was a teenager all over again.

I piled my bags into the back seat of my little civic with thoughts swirling in my mind. Conflicted and confused would be an apt description of my behavior. I thought back to my psychology professor and laughed. If I had to explain my feelings to someone else, they would probably label me manic. I turned the key urging my little car to start and sat shivering in the car while it warmed up enough to drive.

Tomorrow I’d be with Cade again, but as his girlfriend. He’d be back from his trip and we would make an attempt at this relationship, the idea both frightened and exhilarated me. The nagging doubts crept back in to haunt me, and I tried my best to ignore them. I refused to sabotage this with my incessant questioning. The chance of feeling the way I did last weekend was too precious to risk. I wasn’t thinking about the sex either, even though that was spectacular, but about how he made me feel.

With Cade, I felt warm, protected and comfortable. There was no need for pretenses or over analyzing my next comment. He already knew my worst which in the oddest way was liberating. It changed the way I felt. It made me feel accepted…loved.

The truth at the heart of the dilemma struck me. If I kept seeing Cade there was a very strong chance that I would fall in love with him. I had the chance of falling in love with my best friend but at the cost of changing everything between us. That also meant there was the possibility of falling in love with him and having my heart broken and losing everything. The alternative, which no longer held any attraction for me, meant walking away. The question became what was worth losing?

The night was long, and restful sleep avoided me until the small hours of the morning. There was no easy solution to this except to accept there were no promises. At this point, there was no guarantee after we’d already been together that the group would return to what it was even if we stopped seeing each other. So, to hell with it. I decided I was going to give Cade everything I had to offer and hope we stayed as happy in the future as a couple as we’d been as friends.

I repeated that phrase over and over in my mind as I dressed for my date tonight. Nerves set in sending my stomach rolling and for the life of me, I didn’t understand my reaction. How many nights had I spent out with this same man, and yet I wanted tonight to be right, to be special.

The dress hugged me in all the right places, and my hair fell in soft waves over my shoulder making the most of the back of the dress. I decided to keep my makeup simple. Black liquid liner with a touch of silver to highlight for my eyes, and red lip gloss in the exact same shade as the dress for a final touch. Giving myself the once over I agreed less was more and slipped on long silver strand earrings to finish off the outfit. “Well, this is it,” I said speaking to myself in the mirror, loading my makeup and hair products into the basket and sliding it under the sink.

Cade was due to be here any minute, I pulled my long coat out of the closet and laid it across the back of the sofa. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my messages. Today had been unusually quiet. Valentine’s Day was a signal for my friends to send lame texts and post mushy pictures on my social media. Today nothing, maybe they were happy for me and Cade and decided they could kill the stupid tradition. The doorbell ended my musings.

Anxious to see him again I rushed to the door fighting the nervous ramblings in my stomach and head, I pulled the door wide and there he was. Cade had gone all out. His dirty blond hair had been tamed into a slick and sophisticated style, and his expressive brown eyes danced as they roamed over me. A dark wool coat hung open revealing the elegant charcoal gray of the suit he wore beneath. Handsome was an understatement, Cade looked heart stopping.

“Payton, you look spectacular tonight. I’m tempted to forget our plans. Come here.”

He held his arms open to me I stepped in and he wrapped me in his embrace. He nuzzled my neck with his face and I could hear his inhale as he breathed me in. I did the same absorbing the scent that I now recognized as his leaning into him further and my body calmed.

“Oh god, I missed you Pay. It was the hardest five days I had in a long time.”

“I missed you too Cade.”

I leaned back and his eyes raked over my face searching every feature his gaze filled with a deep hunger that had my body clenching in response.

“I want to taste you, but if I do there is no way we’re leaving. Get your coat.”

The smooth voice I listened to every night this week dropped lower and was hoarse. A wave of giddiness came over me as I reveled in the fact that I had that power over him. That I held that much attraction for him, that we held that much attraction for each other.

I slipped on my coat and grabbed my bag and keys while I felt his stare on me. When I joined him at the door he gave me a dazzling smile and stepped aside to let me lock up. Then he offered me his elbow as he led me to his car. He opened the passenger door for me and held my hand until I was seated. I followed his movements as he came around the car and got in next to me, his car coming to life.

“We have reservations at that little place that always advertises romantic Valentine’s dinners. You know the one?”

“Yes I know the one, but how?”

“I have my ways. I wanted tonight to be special.”

His voice lowered and my body heated. Of course, I knew the one, it was a higher end restaurant and considered quite difficult to get reservations. I wasn’t sure how he’d managed it seeing we only started seeing each other Sunday. I wanted tonight to be special too and considering the effort he’d made, my comical card was burning a hole in my bag.

Within minutes, he turned into the parking lot already overflowing with cars. He drove to the valet service and came around while the attendant opened my door. I watched his movements and how comfortable he was in this environment and wondered when he grew up. When did we grow up? The days of college kids making a mockery of these things were long behind us, we just didn’t notice.

His hand closed on my arm guiding me inside. The lights were all dimmed and candles glowed from every corner setting a defiantly romantic vibe. He helped slip my coat off, then removed his own and slid them both to be checked. I watched fascinated with him as he walked up to the host. It was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again.

“I have a reservation under the name Johnson.”

The host nodded his confirmation and asked us to follow him. Again Cade closed his hand around my arm and guided me, but the host passed the small intimate tables for two and continued towards the back of the restaurant.

“This is the private dining room Mr. Johnson, as you requested.”

The host smiled and disappeared leaving Cade and I staring at the closed door. He reached for the handle and offered me a nervous smile making me wonder what exactly was going on. I didn’t have long to wait. Inside sat tables, each set for two and each one was filled with our closest friends and family. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but Cade had definitely gone all out on pulling this together. My eyes threatened tears as my emotions bubbled with the scene in front of me.

Pressure on my arm had me moving again and he turned and closed the door behind us. I went to continue to the empty table in the middle, but his voice stopped me.

“Thank you all for coming tonight, it means a lot.”

I turned back to face Cade unsure of what to expect next. All of this already felt like a dream as he smiled at me and then looked at the people gathered in the room before taking my hand.

“Payton I know this wasn’t what you were expecting, but I needed everyone to know our relationship has changed and that it’s serious. Tonight I want to make you a promise. I promise that I will do my best to make you happy. I promise to always be there for you, but most of all I promise to love you Pay.”

Dumbfounded at the words and the silence in the room, I stood stock still and waited for the punch line. What was he doing? I watched in slow motion as he reached into his jacket pocket and retrieved a small box. My heart jackhammered in my chest and I turned and looked at the crowd of my friends for reassurance as they all smiled back warmly. I turned to face Cade again, disbelief still robbing me of my ability to speak.

“I know you just realized you had feelings for me Pay, but I have loved you for years and I need you to know how much.”

He opened the velvet covered box to reveal the most perfect diamond solitaire a girl could wish for. Princess cut on a platinum band, the kind of ring I’d fantasied over since I married my teddy bear in first grade. My body began to tremble as I realized what exactly he was about to do.

“Don’t panic Payton. I don’t want an answer tonight. I want to marry you, I know that you are the only one for me. I am giving you this ring to tell you I’m ready whenever you are. In a day, a month or even years, I’m ready. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Payton Carmichaels and I want you to be my wife.”

The tears that I’d fought to keep from spilling escaped the corners of my eyes. Was it too soon? Hell yes! But there was no denying the beautiful sentiment behind his actions and words. I tried to think of something worthy of his gesture to say in response and came up blank.

“Cade, I…” He pressed his index finger to my lips to silence me.

“Shhh Pay, don’t say anything.” He removed his finger from my mouth and slid the symbolic piece of jewelry on the ring finger of my right hand.

“Until you are sure, and I want you to realize for yourself that I am the man for you. This is just a promise ring. Take it as token of my promises to you. When you’re sure, only then will it mean more. Just know I love you.”

I watched his blurred features lower towards mine through the tears. As his lips met mine, my heart swelled with emotion. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to tell him yes tonight, but I had no doubt that eventually, I would.