A Log Cabin Christmas (45 page)

“You sure you don’t want to join us, Isabella? We could use your help.” Her eyes brightened, and then she rolled them. “I suppose.” She sighed heavily, uncrossed her arms, and leaned forward.

They all sat at the knotty-pine table, and Awnya placed a slab of rolled-out dough before them.

“What shapes do you recommend?” she asked Isabella.

Isabella closed her eyes and sighed, but Awnya could tell she was pleased.

“How about snowmen?” Jakob blurted.

Isabella’s eyes darted open. “Jakob! She was asking me.”

“So? I’d like to make some snowmen.”

“That’s boring.” Isabella snorted.

“Not to me.”

“Das is genug!” Whatever Amadeus said, the children stopped immediately. “Jakob, you und Ethan can make whatever you like, but Awnya asked your sister a question.”

The boys groaned, and Isabella smirked at them.

“Is—a—bell—a.” Amadeus’s voice held a warning.

She briefly dropped her gaze then faced her father. “I think we should make a nativity scene. With animals, baby Jesus, the three wise men, and gifts.”

Awnya hid her shock. “That’s a lovely idea.”

Isabella never took her eyes off her father, but her face brightened.

“I get to make the animals,” Jakob blurted.

“I want to make them,” Ethan whined.

“How about we each make one?” Isabella once again stunned Awnya, only this time with her ability to handle the situation.

“Then who’ll make the rest of nativity stuff?” Jakob hiked his hands.

“We all will, okay?” Isabella took charge, and Awnya sat back and let her. They nodded. Amadeus stoked the stove and sat back down.

Once the misshaped nativity, stars, snowmen, hearts, and the other ornaments made from both gingerbread and salt dough were finished, Awnya baked them. When they had cooled, the little mismatched family ran string through the holes.

“Now what are we going to do with them? We don’t have a tree,” Isabella said.

“We vill. But until then, we can …” Amadeus rubbed his chin.

Awnya scanned the room. “I have an idea.”

Isabella hiked a brow and dipped her chin, her eyes straining upward at Awnya.

Awnya pretended not to notice. “Why don’t we set the nativity up in that box?” She pointed to an empty cubby hanging on the wall. “We can string the rest together and hang them above the fireplace mantel. Then maybe another day we can make ornaments from clothespins and empty thread spools and string them in the windows.”

“You won’t be here in a few days.”

This time she couldn’t ignore the girl. Isabella was right. In a few days she wouldn’t be here. And that saddened her.

Amadeus spoke from behind her. “With any luck, meine
weihnachtsgeschenk
, you vill be.” His breath warmed her ear, and chills skittered down her back.

What did—how did he say it? ‘vie knoxs goo shink?’—mean anyway?

Supper consisted of homemade buttered noodles mixed with fried potatoes and some oblong ground meat thing mixed with rice and onion. Earlier that day, Awnya had helped Louissa roll the ground meat mixture in softened cabbage leaves and was shocked when the woman had poured homemade canned sauerkraut on top. They were really quite delicious, and she barely tasted the sauerkraut. Buttermilk grebble sprinkled with sugar topped off the meal.

Afterward Amadeus placed several large pine and aspen logs into the cavern of the river-rock fireplace, making the room toasty and inviting. The children sat on the floor Indian style, and the three adults sat in the rocking chairs.

Amadeus opened a Bible and read a scripture in German.
“Also hat Gott
…” He continued reading in German, but the words were lost on her. He looked up from his Bible and asked, “Does anyone know what scripture I just read?”

Awnya had no clue. She didn’t speak a lick of German.

His mother nodded, and the children raised their hands.

“All together,
kinder
. Name the reference.”

“John 3:16,” they all three said in unison.

“Very good. Now together, quote it.”

“‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’ “They spoke slowly and clearly, and Awnya was amazed they knew it so well in English.

“Now, each of you tell me what it means to you.”

“It means Jesus gave His life for me so that I could live in heaven with Mama,” Isabella said softly.

Though one side of her face was shadowed in the dim room, the side Awnya could see showed a little girl who missed and needed her mother. Awnya’s heart reached out to her. She knew what it was like to lose a mother at a young age.

“Very good, Isabella. Und you, Jakob?”

“God gave away His only boy so I could go to heaven to be with
Opa
and Mama and God.” Jakob’s gaze rose to Amadeus. “You wouldn’t give me up like that, would you, Papa?”

Amadeus ruffled Jakob’s head. “Nein, mein liebchen. I would not.”

The little boy’s chest heaved, and he looked upward. “Thank you, Jesus.”

They all laughed.

“Your turn, Ethan.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted to be Jesus. They hurt Him really, really bad.” Ethan kept his voice and his head down.

“They sure did. But He allowed them to because He loves us. Just think, we would not celebrate Christmas if He had not.”

“What?” Jakob’s eyes darted open. “No Christmas? No Christmas tree? No gingerbread ornaments? No gifts?” He slung his small hand onto the side of his face and shook his head.
“Ach du lieber
. That would be terrible!”

Ethan, Isabella, Louissa, and Awnya giggled, but Amadeus only smiled briefly, and then his lips slid into a grim line.

“Jakob.” Amadeus leaned forward and looked at his son and then at his othertwo children. “
Weihnachten
…” He glanced at Awnya. “Um, I mean Christmas”—he looked back at his children—“is not about ornaments or trees or presents. It is a time to celebrate our Savior’s birth. Ja, we do those things in celebration, but the only gift that matters is Jesus. He is the best
Geschenk
ever.”

Awnya’s breath hitched. There were those words again. Only now she knew what they meant—Christmas gift. Amadeus had called her his Christmas gift. She’d never been anyone’s gift before. Her heart warmed with the thought and what it implied.
Thy will be done, Lord
.

A
t twilight Awnya stood at the wood-framed window near the kitchen, watching snowflakes accumulate on the porch rail and listening to the fierce winds rattle the glass. Shivers rippled through her body. She wrapped her arms around her, trying to block out the cold and the feeling of being trapped at the Josefs’ another day.

Who was she kidding? She didn’t feel trapped at all. In fact, she rather enjoyed the idea of having to stay another day and dreaded the idea of going home to an empty house. The last three days here with Amadeus and his family had helped lessen the pain of missing her pa. The only disadvantage to this whole thing was Isabella, who obviously didn’t want her there. She pulled herself away from the window.

While Louissa and Isabella made supper, Awnya churned the last of the cream into butter. Earlier she had helped Louissa make cheese. She found the whole process interesting. They had first scalded the milk and strained it, added soda and butter to the curds, and then let it sit for two hours before cooking it again in a pan over water. Next they had added salt and soured cream and cooked it a third time until the curds dissolved. After making sure they got most of the whey out, they molded the resulting blocks.

Awnya had learned when Amadeus couldn’t deliver the milk for days that Louissa made cheese and stored it in large crocks in the cooling shed. Before she could serve it, she had to remove the mold that had formed around the outside of the cheese balls.

“Supper is near done,” Louissa announced.

Awnya cleaned her churning mess and helped ready the table.

After they all sat down, Amadeus prayed.

Awnya enjoyed the homemade German sausage known as
wurst
. Even the
glace
, which resembled tiny heavy dumplings with onions fried in lots of butter and a generous amount of cream, was surprisingly delicious. The only thing she did not enjoy was the sauerkraut on top of the meat. Eating it wasn’t something she could do without losing her supper. She didn’t mind when it was on top of the things Isabella had called pigs in a blanket. But alone? Eww. Ma’s words about eating what was set before her skittered through her mind. Oh dear. What to do? What to do? She removed her elk-tooth necklace tucked inside her dress and fidgeted with it, trying to discern an answer.

“What’s that?” Jakob asked.

“It’s an ivory elk tooth.”

“An elk tooth?” Ethan joined in but quickly dropped his gaze when Awnya looked at him. Would the boy ever lose his shyness around her?

“Eww.” Isabella scrunched her face and tsked. “That’s
widerlich
und a sin und a
schande
.”

“Vee der what?”

“Isabella!” Amadeus barked. His anger toward his daughter made Awnya wonder what she’d said. As if he read her mind, he translated for her. “
Widerlich
means disgusting. Und
schande
means shame. A sin und a schande is something meine grossmutter said all the time of things she did not like.”

“A sin and a shame? Disgusting? You think my necklace is disgusting?” That hurt. “This was my mother’s, Isabella. Other than her Bible, it’s the only thing I have left of her. It is
not
disgusting, and it is
not
a sin and a shame either.” Awnya had never spoken so harshly to Isabella before, but how dare the little girl defame her mother’s necklace.

“You’re wearing an animal’s tooth around your neck. That is disgusting.” The girl slammed her hands on her hips.

“Isabella. Apologize this instant. Then go to your room, und do not come out until I say so.”

“But what about dessert?” She pouted. “Oma made cherry
kuga
. My favorite.”

Amadeus said nothing. But the look he gave his daughter was enough. She rose and moped her way to her room.

Awnya felt bad that Isabella seemed to be always getting in trouble on account of her, and she had no idea how to fix it.

“Do not trouble yourself over Isabella. It is not your fault.”

She nodded even though she didn’t feel any less troubled.

“Can we have some kuga now?” Jakob asked.

“Ja.”

Louissa scooted her seat back.

“I’ll get it, Louissa.” Awnya jumped up and brought the sweet bread dessert with the cherry filling and the tiny specks of crumbled rivel baked on top. “Would anyone like anything more to drink?”

She filled the adults’ coffee cups and the children’s milk glasses. Awnya savored every morsel of the delicious German dessert.

Hours later, after the dishes were finished and the mess all picked up, Isabella was allowed some kuga before going to bed for the evening. Everyoneretired early except for Awnya and Amadeus. Sitting alone with him in front of the fireplace made her wish she never had to leave. But leave she must. It was clear her presence upset Isabella, and she had decided she would not come between a daughter and her father.

Amadeus repaired his tack. Having Awnya near warmed his heart. Only feet from him, she sat rocking her chair, sipping her coffee and staring at the buckshot rifle hanging above the fireplace. “You look miles away, Awnya. What is your mind on?”

“Pa.”

He laid his tack on the floor and faced her. “What about your pa?”

She looked at him. Flames danced in her green eyes, along with … suspicion?

“I was thinking about how much I miss him and about how he died. I can’t help but think his death wasn’t an accident. Too many strange things had happened up until the time of his death.”

“Like what?”

“Well, all our meat disappeared for one. Pa said wild animals got it, but I never saw any animal tracks near the meat shed, and there was no truth in Pa’s looks. I knew he was hiding something. Something he didn’t want me worrying about.”

“You said many strange things. What else?”

“Besides the feeling of being watched all the time, things kept disappearing. Grain. Tack. The spring box we built into the creek to keep our milk and food cool. A mess of animal pelts. Things like that. Plus, when I found Pa’s body, I never found his horse or his rifle.” Her gaze traveled to the rifle he’d recently purchased, the one hanging above the fireplace. “He had one just like the one you have hanging.” This time there was no mistaking the suspicion in her eyes.

Realization dawned on him. She must think the rifle he had purchased from the traveling peddler was her pa’s. Did she also think he had something to do with his death? That thought slammed mountainous pain deep into his heart. He wanted to reassure her he had nothing to do with it, but the only way to do that would be to find out the truth. And he would, starting with the peddler. With Christmas mere days away, the peddler would be back. And Amadeus would be ready for him.

After dinner the next day, Awnya peered out the window and discovered the snow had stopped. “Finally.”

“Finally what?” Louissa asked from her rocking chair, resting her mending onto her lap, and Amadeus looked at her from stoking the cookstove.

“It stopped snowing.” She faced the window.

Within seconds, Amadeus was behind her, talking over her shoulder. “Too bad the drifts und snow are too deep to go to town. We—”

“Jakob. Stop it!” Isabella cut her father’s word short.

“Give it back!”

They both whirled around at the same time.

Jakob tried to snatch a wooden object from Isabella, but she hit him over the head with it.

Jakob grabbed her hair.

“Ow. Stop it! You’ll be sorry,” Isabella spouted.

“Kinder, that is enough.” The sternness in Amadeus’s voice stopped them.

Cooped up inside for days, the children’s bickering had increased. Awnya thought they needed a distraction. “Amadeus.”

“Ja?”

“Could we do a Christmas treasure hunt for the children?”

All three sets of eyes brightened. “Yeah.”

“I tell you what. If you nap, Awnya und I vill get it ready.”

“Ahhh, do we have to?” Jakob and Isabella whined in unison.

“Ja. Und you have to stop fighting, or no hunt.” He and Awnya eyed each silent child.

“Okay. Forget it then.” Amadeus turned to walk away.

“No. No. We’ll do it.” Isabella glared at her brothers, who quickly nodded their assent.

“Okay. Off to bed then.”

“I join you, ja?” Louissa set her mending in the basket and stood. All four headed into their grandma’s room.

Amadeus gathered paper and an inkwell. He and Awnya sat at the table and got busy making the clues.

“How did your father come to live in Grand County?” Awnya asked.

He stopped working on the clues and turned his attention onto her. If she wasn’t mistaken, sadness had shifted through his eyes for a brief moment before returning to normal. “Papa’s brothers come to America from Austria. They spoke often about the beautiful mountains in Colorado, und how friendly the people in Grand County were, und how ranching und raising cattle had prospered them. They encouraged Papa to join them, und he did.”

“Where are your uncles now?”

“Over the ridge north of my place.” He laid the wooden cross she’d watched him construct on the table and looked at her. “You never say where you live.”

“Our … I mean my cabin.” She lowered her eyes and took a deep breath,fighting back the tears.

“Ah meine weihnachtsgeschenk.” He stood and pulled her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. His heartbeat pulsed through her ears. “Is hard losing a loved one.”

The grief was so heavy, and she had carried it alone for so very long. She lost her fight not to weep.

Amadeus held her close while she soaked his shirt with her tears. After she had her cry, she gazed up at him. “I miss him so much. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. Or how I’ll survive out here alone.”

He cupped her chin. “Ah,
liebling
, you’re not alone. The Lord is with you, und am I.”

She didn’t know what he meant by “und am I,” nor did she have a chance to ask because warm lips joined hers, covering her with the sweetest feeling she’d ever known. She slipped her arms around his waist, liking how they felt there.

Salty tears trickled between their lips, but Amadeus didn’t seem to mind because he continued to kiss her.

The need for comfort drove her further into his embrace until she couldn’t tell where his heartbeat ended and hers began. She imitated the movement of his lips, caressing them like he did hers. She drew comfort and strength from his nearness and his kiss. Coming to her senses, she pulled back.

Amadeus blinked. His insides trembled. Except for his wife, no other woman had affected him like this. He loved and missed his wife, but it was time to move on. Time to love again. And Awnya could very well be that love.

She stepped out of his embrace. “We’d better get these clues finished before the children wake up.” Her voice sounded deeper than normal.

“Ja. You are right.”

They sat down and got to work on the treasure hunt.

“I’m not sure where my home is,” she said as if it wasn’t even her talking.

Amadeus frowned. What did she mean she knew not where her home was?

“You asked me earlier where my cabin is. Truth is, I’m not sure. I was so hungry I didn’t pay attention to where or how far I’d traveled.”