A Little Undead (12 page)

“
You're
not joking, are you.” Her voice was low, confused. It wasn't
quite a question. I held myself perfectly still except for the
slight rise and fall of my chest and short gust of warm wind from the
kitchen door that sent my unbound hair flying. Finally, after enough
time that I'm sure she could have memorized every line of my face,
she spoke. “You do look like someone I used to know, but you
can't be her.”

“
Why
not?” Sorrow warred with resentment and rage. From one moment
to the next I couldn't tell which side was winning. '
Why is this
so important to me?'
It
wouldn't bring my real mother and father back, wouldn't take away my
memories of drinking that man's blood or fix my apartment. '
But
it would tell me one thing.'
It
would tell me if I was born a beast and had tricked myself into
thinking I could be human, or if I was born pure. It could tell if I
was capable of someday freeing myself from the bloodthirsty monster
that dwelled within me. If my condition was caused by some mutated
strain of the Animator virus then it was only a matter of time before
I was cured. Scientists were constantly working on an effective
vaccine, I would just have to keep my nose clean until they managed
it.

Penny
snapped me out of my stupor by swirling her straw around the glass.
She smiled a doll's plastic smile as the waitress placed roasted
chicken sandwiches in front of us. Then we were alone again, and the
smile was nowhere to be found. “I was in a car with her and
her father during the quake. I was okay, but the paramedics took her
to a hospital deep in Manhattan. She was still asleep when I called
later, just as the first corpses started walking around on their own.
No one that deep inside the island ever made it out.”

I
couldn't breath, throat seizing up as my lungs sucked in and out to
no effect. My chair clattered to the floor behind me. Breathless
though I was, my biggest concern was getting away. I punched open
the door, rushing until I reached the alley. I fell to my knees,
strength leaving me as I emptied my stomach near the rusted dumpster.
“I'm an idiot.”

I'd
forgotten something very crucial in my quest for truth. Now there
was no going back, my blissful ignorance that I had failed to
appreciate shattered beyond repair. What use was it to know that I
had likely once been human, been a normal child and friends with
Penny, if it meant knowing that the dreams that haunted me were all
true. What a bitter poison to swallow. A hospital deep in the city
she had said, just like my first dream when I arrived in Boston. Had
it been then that I turned? After all, how else would I have gotten
through the massacre? Or perhaps it had been later when I–
“God damn me, how could I have eaten that man's leg.”
Diseased and gangrenous, freshly hacked from a man I apparently knew
and had traveled with in the world of the dead, and I had actually
taken a
bite
of the
cursed thing. The smell of the meat from the sandwich had been all
the extra push I needed to lose all composure.

'I
truly am a monster, aren't I.'

A
pair of soft foot steps rang in the alleyway. Penny had followed me.
She looked at me like I was a half-drowned puppy, but I didn't want
her pity.

“
Listen,
I'm sorry if I upset you.” She hesitated a moment before
walking into the alley. “Can I call your parents or someone
for you? This isn't the worst area in the city but it's still not a
good idea for a kid to hang around in a dark alley alone, if you
catch my drift.” She touched my arm softly. “Here, let
me help you up.”

“
Don't
touch me.” My body shook as I held back a sob. All my
fantasies were spinning into the ground.

“
Fine.
Don't say I didn't try.” I peered sideways as she walked
away, watching her out of the corner of my eye. Then came the sodden
thump as she fell backwards like a marionette with snapped strings.
It was a strike to the kidneys, the agony so powerful she couldn't
even scream. Like ink in water, the blood blossomed on the white
fabric of her blouse. My shameless fangs extended as the smell
reached me through the stench of the dumpster, telling me this was no
illusion. A foul-featured man with sweaty ringlets of black hair
knelt at her side. His hand descended, but it wasn't to save her.
Tugging at the purse he swung his blade at the leather cord when it
failed to part.

My
hand flew to my hip but my gun wasn't there, left behind as part of
my foolish disguise. My knife was strapped to my thigh, accessible
through my torn-out pocket, but by the time it was in my grip it was
already too late. The man was gone without a word, and Penny lay
gasping for breath on the ground. What rotten luck was this? Did it
follow me like a plague to strike so suddenly and senselessly?

I
crawled to her then, thoughts flitting faster and faster as I drew
closer. The world brightened into painful intensity as the scent of
blood fanned my hunger. I could see sparks of life energy leaving
the wound like a fountain, even as the rest of her faded into
darkness. Though strong, the hunger was but a pale shadow of what I
had felt the night previous. I was still in control of myself, even
if she did smell infinitely more alluring than the sandwich. Almost
like... lilac.

“
Please
don't die,” I whispered, pressing my hands against the wound.
It was no use. She was hardly breathing now, her remaining life
energy moving chaotically, sparks flaring before snuffing out
forever. '
I can leap a fence twice my height and I can't
do anything to save her?'
No, I
refused to believe that was true.
'Think!'
There
had to be a way. My reaction to the sun meant there had to be some
truth to the old legends about vampires. If a vampire could raise
someone from the dead, perhaps restoring someone not yet dead was
possible as well.
'My blood.'
It had to be good for something. If it could heal her, this woman
who was once my friend, then all the other difficulties were worth
it.

I'd
set my knife aside, but my claws proved sharp enough for the task.
Slashing open my wrist I let my blood trickle into the wound.
“Nothing's happening... why isn't it working!” The blood
loss was making me hungrier, but the haze of bloodlust at the back of
my mind was still weak enough to hold back from overwhelming my
reason. A thought came to me then, prompting me to move my wrist to
her mouth. My cut was already half-healed, mocking my failure to
heal her with my own unnatural healing, so I slashed at it again. I
hissed as the pain hit me, using my other hand to keep my wrist
steady. The blood trickled between her lips, but it was too late.
She was still.

I
tilted backwards as the shock hit me, the sharp gravel against my
back like the buzzing of flies a mile away. It was just so absurd.
She was talking to me just seconds ago, and now, she was gone. It
was daytime yet, so it would be at least five minutes before she rose
again as a zombie. Too short a time, and too long. The world seemed
frozen, even my heart, but I knew time was passing, and all too
quickly. I couldn't leave her here. Couldn't have it on my
conscience if she killed someone.

'
I
can't kill her.'
It didn't
matter to me if she was already dead. To take a knife to her head
now, it would break me. Calling the cops was out of the question,
and even the brief flutter of a plan concerning throwing her in the
dumpster made me feel lower than scum.

“
Hey,
are you two alright?” A voice called from the shadows at the
other end of the alley. So jarring was my release from my state of
horrified contemplation that I did not at first recognize that faint
tinge of familiarity with this voice. Our eyes met. '
Bruce.
What the hell is he doing here?'

The
wind switched directions through the alley, carrying dust and his
scent along with it. He reeked of tobacco smoke and sweat, along
with a miasma of harsh chemicals that burned my sensitive nose. I
was more concerned with his expression than how he smelled. My
muscles tensed as I wavered between making a run for it and begging
for forgiveness. Did he recognize me? My eyes flicked downwards to
his uniform and the decision was made. I zipped out of the alley,
hat flying off behind me as the wind caught it.

I
might have taken the chance of trying to explain myself if it was
just him, but if he was in uniform that meant his partner was close
by. It was a chance I couldn't take, not yet. If I got dragged into
the station I'd have one hell of a hard time explaining my actions,
and that was assuming I was vaguely human-looking when they brought
me in. I needed time to work things out, to find out who killed Jake
and how to control myself around fresh blood. I needed time to
think.

The
fates conspired to grant one wish, at least. The sun was full in my
face as I ran, the hat's meager protection stripped from me. The
light in my eyes was bad enough, having lost my sunglasses in the car
accident, but my bare-skinned face did me in. My arms were not quite
so sensitive, but not three minutes later it felt as if I had rubbed
my skin against sandpaper before salting it. '
Well, it's
still better than bursting into flames.'

I
made for the first tree I saw, using my flagging strength to climb up
onto a wide branch some ten feet up the oak. “Ouch!”
I'd just meant to test my face for the severity of the sunburn but
one of my nails had caught against my skin, giving me a painful
reminder of their sharpness. Still, my jaunt through the sunlight
had one good effect. It appeared that I had gone back to normal,
more or less. The sun through the leaves was less blinding, my teeth
a little smaller against my curious tongue, the unnatural thirst less
all-consuming. My skin actually had some natural color to it for the
first time that I could remember, even if I did look like a cooked
lobster. I'd even managed to find a park. With so many abandoned
buildings to hide in around the city I doubted anyone would search
for me here.

I
gave a long, relaxed sigh as my face cooled from “I think I'm
going to spontaneously combust” to merely feverish. My ears
wiggled as I picked up the sound of a tune. I hadn't known my ears
could move like that. The observation didn't hold me long, the
melody was too good for such a small concern to distract me. Now
that I was focused I could hear it clearly, rippling off a stage
built in better times. Vines curled across the deck, even claiming
the cellist's stool in their possessive grasp, but his sound didn't
suffer for it. An older man, his hair hung to his neck, more gray
than black. His cello looked like it matched him in age, but its
power was as great as his skill. It was a haunting song, beguiling
the mind to see the noonday sun as a starless night. His bow sang
across the strings slowly but with deep intent like a dying heart,
even as his fingers plucked out a separate beat. Children and a pair
of puppies frolicked in the meadow grass and wildflowers beyond the
hedge of thorns, but in this corner of the park the world felt like
it was full of shade and shadow.

Tears
filled my eyes again, but not from misery. They were tears of joy,
even if my heart hung heavy with the knowledge that this song
couldn't last forever. It was dark, telling secrets of sorrow and
grief, but to me it was beautiful. I wished that it would never end.

Laughter,
smiles, scribbling pens, idle philosophic discussion. So this was
college. As the sun fell towards the horizon and the shadows
extended their cool embrace I'd let my feet carry me to the inner
city, heart beating like a drum when I went through the checkpoint
for the inner city. Holly sat at my side now, already fully
comfortable it seemed with the strangeness of this sanctuary. She
gossiped half-heartedly after introducing me to two of her friends in
the bakery's sitting area. Placed just outside the college library
it had no lack of blurry-eyed students looking to grab some munchies
for a long all-nighter or after waking from a failed attempt. I
nibbled on a muffin, not saying much. Though they were closer to my
age than Holly's I could tell I had nothing in common with them. Or,
at least, close to the age I always thought I was.

It
was rather surreal. All these bright-eyed teens and young
twenty-year-olds going about their day as if there wasn't still an
ongoing war with the undead. Death and the fear it generated held no
sway here, even moreso than in the rest of the inner city. I had
forgotten my knife in the alley and felt naked without it, but these
students went about unarmed as a matter of course. Never looking
over their shoulders, never wondering where their next meal was
coming from. Many of the freshman probably didn't even remember
seeing a zombie. By the time they were five or six things had
already started turning around for the human race. Here in the
college courtyard, held safe by strong walls and numerous guards,
there was precious little to fear beyond a failing grade.