A Little Less than Famous (35 page)

Jake had burst out laughing himself. “Very good. Good one, Erica. And to answer your question, yes. I like her very very much.”

I squirmed a little bit, catching Luke’s eye for a second. I felt extremely uncomfortable at those words, especially since he was getting dumped really soon. But there was also a part of me that was extremely thrilled at the words he was saying.

“Awwww,” Tanner and Erica crooned together and the audience actually started clapping. I raised my eyebrow; only a moment before, these people were booing at the very mention of me.

Jake suddenly looked very encouraged by the reaction; you could read it on his face. He sat up, his elbows resting on his knees. “She makes me so happy, you know? She’s so different from any other girl I’ve met before. She’s not all over me because I’m Jake Kennedy. She’s so real. McKinley doesn’t change who she is to fit everyone else. And you’re right, she is a little spitfire.”

Oh god, he needed to stop. I couldn’t listen to it anymore but I also couldn’t stop listening. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the TV. I had never heard anyone, male or female, speak about me this way before. It was amazing; I would have never really used any of those words to describe myself. I would have never imagined anyone feeling that way. It was addicting. It was an overwhelming thing to hear someone say things like that about you, on television, in front of everyone.

“You’re breaking a thousand girls’ hearts right now,” Erica said, looking dreamy. The camera panned out to the audience where a few of the people in the audience looked happy while the rest did, indeed, look incredibly letdown.  I was annoyed for a moment with these girls who actually thought that they’d have a chance with a celebrity who had girls all over the world pining for him. Then I realized that I was a normal, everyday girl who was dating this celebrity.

Jake smiled, wryly, looking out at his heartbroken fans. “Sorry, ladies, but this is guy is hooked. I love her. I love McKinley.”

I gasped, backing away from the TV, slamming my back in the counter. “No. No, no, no.” My eyes were wide and I didn’t know whether to cry or scream. “He didn’t say that. Please tell me he didn’t just say that.”

“He said it,” Iris said, her eyes just as wide as mine. She looked incredibly happy though in contrast to the absolute horror and shock I was feeling.

I stared back up at the TV where Erica and Tanner were looking excited as hell and Jake was looking sheepish. The interview was continuing but I couldn’t watch anymore. I grabbed the remote off the counter and shut the TV off, practically throwing the remote back on the counter.

Iris looked up at me, shocked. “What the hell is your problem, McKinley?”

I was shaking. I was shaking and I didn’t know why. “He just told Erica Williams and Tanner Donovan that he loves me. He just said he loves me on national television,” I said, my palms pressed firmly over my eyes.

“McKinley, that’s awesome. The guy loves you and he is willing to show the entire world that. I admit that it would’ve been better to tell you to your face the first time but it was sweet,” Iris said, sighing, looking up at the blank screen.
I
stared at her for a long moment, confused and a little pissed off. This was the woman who had divorced her husband for her job; she was the one who always told me love was a fairy tale. Now she was sighing like a sixteen-year-old girl watching
The Notebook.

“It is
not
sweet, not at all,” I said, firmly. “No. Just…no.” I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I glanced at the text message from Amanda.

OHMYGOD, McKinley, he loves you! This is amazing! I’m freaking out right now, I am so happy for you!

I shrieked in frustration. Why didn’t anyone understand that this was not a good thing? “This is horrible.”

Luke had been watching the whole exchange with a shocked look on his face. “McKinley, don’t.”

I looked over at him. “Don’t what?”

His face was full of so many emotions: love and concern and disappointment and hope. “You know exactly what I am talking about, McKinley. Don’t do it. I stay out of your life as much as I possibly can because you’re an adult and you can make any decision you’d like. But don’t do this. You’re only going to regret it.”

I stared at him for a long, long moment. There was no one, not one person, in this world who knew me as well as Luke did and he was staring at me as if he could see right through me.

“I’m not doing anything,” I told him.

And at that moment, I had no idea what I was going to do. And that scared me more than anything.

Chapter Twelve

Jake didn’t mention anything about the interview when we met up later than night. He was still dressed in the clothes he had worn and I felt conflicting emotions at the sight of him. We sat out in front of the diner, talking about anything and everything but that stupid interview. After it seemed that we had exhausted all possible sources of conversation, we fell into a silence. This was not a comfortable silence; this was a silence that was heavy and it was palpable.

“So I was thinking,” Jake began.

“Always a troublesome thing,” I said, lightly. Jake shot me a look. “I’m sorry. Go on.”

“I was thinking about what we were talking about earlier. The issue of me being in Washington for four months,” Jake said, folding his hands together.

“Okay…” I said, slowly, my heart slamming hard in my chest. This seemed like it was the right moment.

“And I think I came up with a plan. It’s not going to be easy but I think you’ll agree with me on it, that it needs to be done,” Jake said, his voice even and steady.

I chanced a glance at him and saw that he looked extremely nervous. I felt extremely relieved. Finally, I felt like someone was on the same page as me. “I think I know where this is going and I totally agree,” I said, placing a hand gently on his arm.

Jake looked over me, curiously. “I didn’t think that you would be into it.”

“Honestly, I didn’t think you would be,” I said, bluntly.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Jake asked, looking incredibly confused.

“Breaking up isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, Jake,” I said, reasonably.

Jake looked at me in horror and I knew that I had said the wrong thing, that I assumed the wrong thing, that I was in deep and there was no backing out now. “Breaking up? Who said anything about breaking up? I was talking about you coming with me, to Washington.”

“What? Washington?” I asked, incredulously, my voice as high pitched as ever. “Are you crazy?”

“Well, it’s not that far, McKinley, and its not a long time either. I figured it could be like a vacation for you,” he explained.

“A vacation? Jake, I have a job! I go to school!” I protested.

Jake rolled his eyes. “Well, obviously, you would come after you finished school for the semester. And I’m sure that Luke would give you the time off.”

“Okay, jobs don’t really work like that, Jake. I can’t just leave because you want me to. Not all of us have fancy Hollywood jobs where we can just go wherever we want to.”

“You know, you had no problems with ‘fancy Hollywood’ when you were playing Charlotte,” he snapped. “And seriously, we’ve been dating for how long now and you think my life is all fun and games and I can just do whatever I want whenever I want?”

“We’re not dating,” I shrieked. “God, why won’t you get that into your head? You are not my boyfriend. That means we’re not dating and you don’t invite me to go spend four months in Washington while you film a movie and you don’t talk about me on television!”

He stared at me. “Is that what this is about? What I said? You have been fine with our relationship for months; you even got jealous of Andrea! You told me that you were my girlfriend.”

“I did not,” I argued.

“You did. That night in the hot tub. “

I flinched, inwardly. I had a fuzzy memory of some of the things I had said. “I was drunk, Jake.”

“So what, you were drunk and that doesn’t mean anything? Why are you so angry at me right now?” He paused for a long moment and then he turned back to me, a look of clarity on his face. “It’s what I said on
Hello Los Angeles!,
isn’t it?”

I shook my head, back and forth, back and forth, refusing to acknowledge that he was right. I could not acknowledge the fact that what he had said about me in his interview had made me so angry. But it was more than just anger. It was the fear of losing my control and my grip on this relationship. I had Jake on a leash, until he had said those three words and suddenly I felt like the one who was being led.

“Are you mad that I said it on TV instead of saying it to you in person?”  Jake said, slipping his fingers into mine.

“No, Jake, that is completely not what I mean,” I said, feeling a pit in my stomach, knowing what is coming. I had to stop him before he said it. “I mean, seriously, you don’t even have to say it.”

“But I want to say it,” Jake said, a small smile on his face. “I’ve wanted to say it for awhile. I don't want to hide it anymore, or pretend like it's not there. I love you, McKinley.”

“No,” I said, standing up, my hands shaking. “No, you really don’t.”

He raised his eyebrow at me. It was obvious in his eyes and the slump of his shoulders that he was disappointed in my reaction. His face, however, showed no emotion. Jake was, if nothing else, a good actor. “I think I know what I feel.”

“No, you really don’t, Jake.”

“McKinley, you don’t understand,” Jake said, slowly, as if explaining something to a child. “Ever since I saw you that day, getting so pissed off at me for taking your spot on Space Mountain, I’ve wanted you. I couldn't get you out of my head; why did you think I came looking for you? You made that kind of impression on me. I wanted you.”

I shook my head. “That’s not how it works, Jake. You’ve grown up in this world where everything is just handed to you. Just because you want someone doesn’t mean you just get them.”

“But I did get you! I fought for you, baby. I could have anyone. Yeah, I said that. I could literally have anyone. But I chose you. I don’t want anyone else.”

“Do you hear how ridiculous you sound?” I said, my heart slamming in my chest. This was not how things were supposed to go. Break-ups were not supposed to go like this, not when I was involved. “You are such a cocky bastard.”

“And yet you’ve been having sex with me for the past five months,” Jake retorted, his voice full of impatience.

“Are you a sixteen-year-old girl? Sex doesn’t equal feelings! It doesn’t mean I’m going to be with you forever. Just because I had sex with you doesn’t mean that I feel anything more than a general liking for you. I mean, Jesus, Jake, look at yourself in the mirror. Who wouldn't want to have sex with that?"

“You’re trying to hurt me right now. You use cutting words and maybe that works with everyone else, Kinley, but it doesn’t work with me.”

“Don’t call me that,” I said, sharply.

He kept talking, as if he hadn’t heard me. He stepped closer to me, looking like he wanted to reach out to me, but thankfully, he didn’t. I didn’t know if I could have kept my resolve if he had. “You try so hard to act like you don’t care, but you do. I’m not stupid, I know that you do.”

“I don’t,” I said, firmly. “You mean nothing, Jake Kennedy. You are nothing more than a fun time that I’ll look back on with good feelings. But I definitely don’t feel anything for you.”

“Stop, McKinley, just stop!” Jake said, throwing out his arms in surrender. “Fine, it’s meant nothing. It’s been nothing. Are you happy now? I don’t love you. Is that what you want to hear?” His voice got louder and harsher with each question.