A Little Complicated (4 page)

“Why did he walk you home anyway? What are you doing up
so early on a Sunday?” I yawned just thinking about how early they’d awakened me with their loud conversation in the foyer. Fuck, it’d be nice to sleep in on a day off.

“I went to the coffee shop and he was there,” she said, obviously lying.

“No way. You can get away with your lying with Vera here, but I know all your tells.” I smiled when she jutted her chin out the same way that I did when I was being stubborn.

“She was out racing again.” Vera wiped her hand down the side of the chair and came away with some mud and moss on it. “Looks like she took a spill, too.”

Lila looked at the older woman mutinously.

“Lila, we talked about this.” I sighed at the hateful look she shot my way.

“No, you decided for me that I couldn’t do it.”

“I said one more year! That’s hardly a ‘no’. We just need to make sure when you take spills like this you don’t reinjure your back. Do you want to go back to the hospital?”

She looked away from me then and Vera gave me a nod for confidence. I felt bad for the kid. She’d always been competitive. She’d done dive and cheer and tumbling until this one horrible dive accident left her wheelchair bound a little under two years ago. I wasn’t being irrational.

“Please, Lila. Just a few more months.” She shook her head fiercely.

“No, Dad. I can’t spend that long without working out. My arms will get weak and I just got a good time going.”

I sighed. “How about this, I’ll get you
free weights to keep your arms in shape. Wasn’t that what the trainer suggested last month? And if your doctor says at your next checkup—that’s just three months away so stop looking at me like that—that you’re okay to go, I’ll even buy you that new racing wheel chair you wanted.”

Her eyes got big. “But three months!” She argued.

“Please,” I begged, exasperated. I had been woken up by Vera’s fussing and Ryan’s voice and didn’t have it in me to fight. I was still shaken up from the Borja siblings dropping back into my life, both at once of course.

“Okay. But I want those weights like next week!
And that chair better be
new.
Not another used one like this one,” she said, looking every bit as stubborn as my mother when she was feeling handled.

I rolled my eyes, imitating her. “I guess I can do that. And you can only use them if
either me or Vera is around, okay?”

She poked her lip out. Vera
gave Lila’s shoulder a gentle shove. “Be grateful to your father, child. No manners, this one, I swear.”

I laughed at the spiteful look the two shot at each other. That’s why I’d chosen Vera. A mother of five and grandmother of twelve
, she didn’t put up with Lila’s bullshit and that’s definitely what I needed—what Lila needed.

“So, how exactly did you run into Ryan?” The curiosity was killing me.

“Oh,” she said excitedly, “I see him all the time. I just never realized it was
him
. Should have put that together with the Britney reference,” she scolded herself.

I rolled my eyes. So maybe once or twice
(
or a dozen times
, my brain reminded me, cruelly) I’d told Lila about her babysitter who’d taught her the lyrics to every Britney Spears song that happened to exist at the time. And she still remembered them all to this day. And when she’d been old enough to understand my sexuality and the birds and the bees, I’d broken all of that down to her. She asked me “Daddy, since you like both, have you ever been in love with a boy?” I’ll never forget telling her that I’d thought so once, even though I’d messed it up. The highlight of that conversation was her sweet hug of comfort when she saw how sad my eyes got thinking about the one that slipped away.
All because I was young and dumb
.

“Anyway, so I had a fall in the park,” she stopped talking when Vera gave a hissed “Child!” but continued after a flick of her hand. “He got my chair for me and made sure I was okay, since he knew me and all. Although, he’s nice enough I’m sure he’d do it for anybody. But like I said
, I see him all the time and he’s always asking about my training. He’s real sweet. But he offered to buy coffee and I told him my dad was bi and that he should walk me home and see how cute you are.”

My eyes tried to pop out of my head and they both thought it was hilarious. “You
told
him?”

“Well, I’m guessing you never did, then? That how you let him get away?”

Vera leaned in, obviously as interested in the answer as much as Lila. “Something like that.” They both looked annoyed at my vague answer.

“Well, go after him,” Vera scolder. “
Foolish. He’s some fine tail and you got a second chance, now that he knows the score. The little big mouth here did you a favor and you’re looking the gift horse in the mouth?”

I clo
sed my eyes against the reminder of what an idiot I was and immediately saw his smile as he ran toward me in the parking lot that first time I’d met him. I remembered the way he was so good with Lila when she was little. Then I saw the guilt he felt after we got off together and the scowl when he’d flounced off today. Undoubtedly, Ellie had told him we’d gone out last night and I wondered if she’d made it sound like the innocent rekindling of a friendship, as I’d intended. I’d been clear, but she kept doing all of the Ellie date moves I remembered so well.

What was I thinking? Just like before, Ellie had seen me and been so delighted and asked me out. For old time’s sake I figured it couldn’t hurt anything. I’d never have
hung out with her first if I’d known I could try again with her brother, if I’d known he was still in town. And didn’t that make me a huge dick.

“He lives in 4C, you know.” Lila said.

I opened my eyes and looked at her warily. “Do I even want to know how you know this?”

“Probably not,” she said matter-of-factly then
glanced at me coolly. “In the meantime you could put on something decent and go up and apologize for being an idiot all those years ago so you two can ride off in the sunset.”

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

Vera tutted as she took the handles of Lila’s wheel chair. “Foolish, I tell you. Piece of tale like that after him and he talks about complicated. Young lady you’ve got more balls than that daddy of yours I tell you.”

“I know. It’s sad really.”

“Hey!” I whined but they ignored me and proceeded to gush over how cute Ryan was all the way down the hall.

They were right, of course. I figured the least I could do was go up and thank him for seeing to Lila, though. I’d hope anyone would have done the same thing, but I knew well enough to know that wasn’t true. Ryan was definitely one of a kind.

I threw a hoodie on and a pair of jeans and made my way up to his apartment. I hesitated for a moment then shored up my nerves and knocked. I thought maybe he wasn’t going to answer and sat in wonder thinking it was the damnedest thing we’d been in the same building all this time. I went to knock one more time when the door flew open and there he stood. He was still in his spandex running pants that showed off every line of muscle in his legs. And he was shirtless.
Gulp.
His pecs and biceps were fucking beautiful, covered in tattoos. His golden skin was flawless on his flat stomach and the bulge at his crotch lengthened when he noticed me checking him out. I couldn’t help the cocky smirk that slid on my face.

He scowled and I felt bad for teasing. Then a squeal of delight in the background made my guilt rev up a notch. I knew it before she bound in front of Ryan that Ellie was his guest. Fuck. As she threw her arms around me
, Ryan’s gaze went stony and he turned, going back into a room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Fuck.

CHAPTER SIX
Ryan – Eight Years Ago

Of course I’d fallen in love with that man and his little girl from the first time we’d studied together at his house. The night he asked me to watch her so he could go on a date with my sister, though, had been a new low. I thought for a minute that he might actually be interested in
me
but of course it wasn’t to be.

But Ellie had come around, acted like she could be the second mother of his child then blew him off when he said he was moving. I loved my sister, but I’d warned him she was a flake.

That night she text me to say she’d ended it I’d been too embarrassed to even talk to him about the situation. But he was leaving and I was dying. I had to see him one more time. I had to apologize for Ellie because she really didn’t mean any harm, honest. She just wasn’t made to settle down. Not yet. So when I agreed to help him finish packing my heart was heavy.

I’d shown up and when he opened the door those way-too-grown-up
brown eyes looked extra sad. All I could think was
Ellie, what have you done?
I know they’d only been together a couple of months but we all spent so much time together. This also wouldn’t be the first time Ellie had cost me a friend with her dating attention-span.

“Hey,” I said, hands in my pocket.

“Hey, man. Long time no see.” He walked away without inviting me in. I noticed the empty beer bottles littering the floor—well, the floor that wasn’t covered in boxes. I felt like an ass for avoiding him over the last week. He was my best friend.

“Where’s Delilah?” I asked, looking around for her. I knew if he was drunk she wasn’t here more than likely.

“She’s with my mom. It’ll be the last time they see each other for a while. Mom’s coming in the morning to take us to the airport.”

“Oh. Right. Cool.” I looked sadly at the boxes. I hadn’t known him long enough to feel this sad had I? He had been fun to hang around with and God yes did I have a crush on him, but he’d been my sister’s boyfriend and obviously straight so I’d put him in the
Can’t Have
column and moved on. But I’d miss having him around. I’d gotten used to movie nights with him because we were both too lame to club and I’d miss Delilah who loved that I was a Britney Spears fangirl and ate up every new song I taught her.

I’d miss those eyes and that sexy smile.

Fuck.

“So, you’re really leaving?”

He looked sadly at me.

“Hey, I’m sorry about Ellie. She doesn’t mean it.”

He scowled and waved me off. “I miss all my chances,” he said. I think it was meant to be more to himself, though, because he said it quietly. There was something very sad in the way he said the words that pulled me to him. I put my hand on his shoulder and just the contact burned through my whole body.

I snatched back my hand, realizing just how hard I’d gotten from
touching his firm shoulder. He’d gone so still I thought he was going to turn around and punch me. He’d never said he had a problem with me being gay, but I guess it’s different when you’re getting hit on.

I backed away slowly and bumped into a box. I turned to see what I’d stumbled into
and how to safely bypass it. When I turned to face him again he was right in my face. I can never remember who’d started it but before I could register what was going on our lips were touching. It was soft and just a light touch. Then we moved at the same time and our lips were touching for real, hot and blissful. When he slipped his tongue into my mouth, I melted against him. His hands went around my waist and I felt his hardon rubbing against mine.

We gasped into our kiss and our tongues danced together, fumbling and shuddering. His hands were shaking as he undid
the button and zipper on my pants and I leaned back to protest but it was lost when his firm grip surrounded my cock and his mouth found that tender spot just behind my jaw and my ear. I sighed, contentedly as he started a steady stroking. “God, I want you so bad,” he whispered.

“Me too, so bad. I shouldn’t but I do.” I couldn’t stop. This man was all I’d thought about for t
hree months. I’d never done this with one of my sister’s boyfriends. I didn’t do sloppy seconds nor did I want to have anything to do with something that had been
involved
with my sister. But this man, he’d become a need. I couldn’t just let him disappear without this. So I reached into his sweat pants and grabbed his thick cock. He looked at me, fire in his eyes, and I tugged on his cock. He descended on my lips. It was hot and it was wet and it was more than I’d thought a kiss with him could ever be.

We were grunting and fucking
one another’s fists furiously. He used his tongue to pillage my mouth and I was totally okay with that because I didn’t think I could ever be kissed like that again. I may die from it, but at least I’d have it this once.

I could tell he was close when his stroking of my cock became firmer, faster, and his fucking of my fist became more erratic. He moaned into my mouth
then I separated from the kiss and dropped to my knees, taking him into my mouth as far as I could. A few bobs of my head and he shuddered, my name on his lips, as he came down my throat. Oh, the taste of him was salty and perfect. Hearing my name in his deep, sexy drawl made my balls draw up as I stroked myself and continued suckling his cock clean. In no time, I gasped and buried my face in his belly as I found my own release.