A Lineage of Grace (46 page)

Hours later, David stood beside his bed watching Bathsheba sleep. She was so beautiful she made his heart ache. But it would be dawn soon. He had to get her out of the palace before anyone knew she’d been here. When he’d awakened and seen her lying beside him, he thought of Ahithophel, Eliam, and Uriah, and what they would make of this clandestine affair.
What was I thinking! They could turn the army against me!

Putting his knee on the bed, he leaned down and kissed her. Her eyes opened slowly, still clouded with sleep. She smiled. “David,” she sighed.

His pulse quickened. Shaken by his feelings, he straightened. “It’s almost daylight, Bathsheba. You have to go.”

Her smile died.

David’s stomach squeezed tight at the wounded look in her eyes. Turning quickly away, she dragged a blanket up and covered herself. Shame hadn’t been in attendance last night, only unbridled passion. But now, morning had come and light streamed in upon the true situation.

“My guards will see you safely back to your house.” Why should he feel guilty? They had a right to some happiness, didn’t they?

She sat up quickly. “I know my way home.” When he heard the soft sound she made as she groped for her discarded robe, he went down on his knees on the bed and reached for her.

“Bathsheba,” he said, his voice hoarse with pent-up emotion. She jerked from his touch. He caught hold of her shoulders and pulled her back against him. She struggled to be free. He locked his arms around her. “Bathsheba,” he said raggedly and buried his face in her neck. How could he let her go after last night? He breathed in the scent of her and knew he was undone.

“I thought last night would be enough.” She put the heels of her hands against her eyes. “I thought I could live on the memories of being with you. But now . . . I feel . . . I feel . . . unclean!” She shuddered.

Her words so mirrored his own feelings that he was disturbed. “Do you think I
want
to send you away?” He felt torn and frustrated. “I’d keep you with me if it wouldn’t raise a cry across the city. Your father . . . your grandfather.”

“My husband!”

“I have to get you out of here before anyone knows what’s happened between us.”

Her body was tense against him. When he kissed her neck, she leaned her head back with a shaky sigh. “It’s no use. Someone will find out. And I’ll die for it.”

He went rigid. “No one’s going to find out!”

She turned in his arms, and he saw the fear in her eyes. “People already know, David! Your guards, my handmaiden. Any one of a dozen people who saw your men bring me in through the servants’ entrance last night.”

He dug his fingers into her hair. “And who are they to dare speak against the king? My men will keep silent, and you will tell your maid she’d better hold her tongue if she values her life!” He saw the shock in her eyes and spoke more gently. “You didn’t realize what a ruthless man I could be, did you?” He tried to smile, but there was a fierceness inside him that claimed her for his own. “Listen, my love. Suppose someone did whisper of our night together. Would any priest dare confront me?”

“Nathan would.”

“Nathan knows me. He would dismiss any gossip as ugly rumor and nothing more. And besides, who would take the word of a guard or handmaiden over that of a king?” He kissed her tears away. “Trust me. I won’t allow any harm to come to you. I swear it!”

“I’ve always trusted you, David. My father said you’ve always been a man of your word.”

David winced inwardly, but anger rose quickly in self-defense. Why should he feel guilty over spending one night with the woman he desired? What harm could come of something done in secret? He was the king. Didn’t he deserve some happiness? Kings had always taken whomever they wanted. Why shouldn’t he? Who had done more in bringing the tribes together? Who had killed Goliath and rallied the Israelite army to victory? Who had led the kingdom to victory after victory? Who had been wrongly accused and pursued for years all because the people loved him? And during those hard years, who had been the one man to praise God? Besides, it was no one’s business but his own what he did in the privacy of his chamber!

Still, he knew it was wiser to keep his own counsel in this particular matter. He thought of Eliam, his longtime friend. He thought of Ahithophel, his adviser. He thought of Uriah’s courage and ferocity in battle. If they found out Bathsheba had spent the night in his bed, there would be trouble. All three were men of God and would want to follow the letter of the Law. And the Law of Moses demanded that an adulteress be put to death.

Fear gripped David’s belly as he realized the danger to Bathsheba. He shoved it away and reminded himself he was the king! Who would dare touch a woman he loved?

“No stone will ever strike you.” He would kill any man who tried to harm her.

It never once occurred to David that it was he who was shattering her life.

* * *

Bathsheba waited for David to summon her again, but he didn’t. She watched for him on the wall, but the king didn’t appear. She listened for word of him, but all she heard was “The king is resting in his palace while our husbands are off at Rabbah fighting his war with the Ammonites!”

“It’s our war,” she said in his defense. “If the Ammonites get away with insulting David’s ambassadors, they might think him weak and attack Jerusalem. Better to have the battle at Rabbah than here.”

She tried to tell herself that David was busy with matters of state, but jealousy and hurt crept in. Her imagination tormented her.
Whom is he holding in his arms tonight? Ahinoam? Abigail?
Or had he lost all interest in his wives and concubines?
How many other women in this city have looked up at the handsome king strolling along the battlements and yearned to warm his bed?
She remembered the girls in the camps, girls exactly like her, who’d gazed at David with adoring eyes and dreamed dreams about him.

David could have anyone he wanted! Even before he was king, women were falling in love with him.

She was stricken with regret and fear as the days passed. If only she had fled to the privacy of her house that day. If only she hadn’t brazenly continued her bath, exposing herself to this endless heartache. She had no one to blame but herself for what she suffered now. She’d gone willingly to David’s bed. She’d told herself love was reason enough to give herself to him. David, her god.

Why hadn’t she thought about the Law before she gave herself to him? He had assured her that no stone would touch her. But what could he do if the priests cried out against her? For if their affair became known, she had no illusions about who would bear the blame. David was a beloved king. She was a powerless woman.

Adultery! She’d committed adultery! How could she have done such a thing after being brought up by her mother, father, and grandfather, who all held to the Law of Moses with such fierce devotion?

If they ever find out, they’ll kill me!

A week passed and then another and another, and she received no summons from the palace, no message, no hint of David’s concern. How easily he had abandoned her!

The time for her monthly show of blood came and went, and terror filled her. After all the years of trying and failing to conceive with Uriah, she was pregnant after one night in David’s arms! Why now? Why under these circumstances? What could she do now?

Had she only imagined the tenderness in David’s touch? Had her hope deceived her into believing she saw love in his eyes? If he loved her, wouldn’t he have summoned her by now? or at the least have sent a message of some kind?

Nothing! He cares nothing about me!

She pressed her hands against her temples. Seven wives and ten concubines! What need had he of her? Would he even care that she was with child as a result of her night with him? In a few months, everyone was going to know she’d committed adultery. Her handmaiden had already guessed she was pregnant—and by whom. Soon her mother would notice the changes in her. Soon every man, woman, and child who laid eyes upon her would guess her secret.

Trembling, she placed her hands on her abdomen. She was torn between terror and exultation. Within her womb was the child of a king—not just any king, but King David, hero of her childhood dreams. David, singer of songs, conqueror of nations! He had been like a god to her.

Anger filled her. She looked up at the wall of his palace where David had stood on that fateful day of her undoing. She’d always thought she would rejoice when she was with child, eagerly anticipating the happy event of bearing a son to her patient, loving husband.

Never in her life had she felt such despair and fear!

Was it the love she’d felt for David all these years that had made the soil fertile enough to accept the seed?

Only the king could protect her from suffering the consequences of their sin.

But would he?

She grieved over David’s silence and was terrified at what Uriah would do to her when he found out how she’d betrayed him. What defense had she? David hadn’t dragged her into the palace kicking and screaming!

She’d never wanted to hurt Uriah. He was a good man, a kind and generous husband. But Uriah’s touch didn’t make her burn. David’s embrace made her soar and melt. Was it so wrong to crave the caresses of a man she’d loved for as long as she could remember? Wasn’t she entitled to one night of happiness without having her entire life destroyed by it?

Life was unfair!

She’d never been meant for Uriah. She’d been meant for David. Surely that made it all right for them to steal a few hours together. She’d thought she would have wonderful memories of their night together, enough to last a lifetime, but she was tormented instead. The fire David had built in her was turning her life to ashes. She felt abandoned and terrified of the future. She’d been filled up with love for him. She’d poured herself out like a drink offering for David, her king. David, her idol. And now, she was consumed by fear, her loneliness worse than ever. It was too late to go back and undo anything. What price would she pay for that one night? What cost to others whom she loved and who loved her? Uriah, her mother, her father, her grandfather. She couldn’t bear to think of it. She would rather die than have them know. But did she have the courage to take her own life?

Shaking, she put her hands over her belly again. If she died, so would David’s child. Part of her rejoiced over the life growing within her. Part of her wished the evidence of her sin would be swept from her body with a stream of blood before anyone else knew of it. Everyone was going to know this child was conceived in adultery. How could she defend herself when her husband had been away at war for months? She imagined the angry shouts of a mob closing around her, taking up stones. She imagined the condemnation in her mother’s eyes, the hurt, the disappointment. A mother knew a daughter’s heart better than anyone. Her mother had known for years that she was in love with David. Hadn’t she counseled Bathsheba to give up her childish fantasies, her unrequited love? Hadn’t her mother told her to guard her heart? The blame wouldn’t be put at the feet of the king, but laid firmly upon her head.

No one could help her now. No one but David. But would he?

Lowering her hands, she clenched them in her lap. Silence did not always mean indifference. Hadn’t he promised that no harm would come to her? Hadn’t he sworn it? Hadn’t David always been a man of his word?

She cut a piece of papyrus from Uriah’s accounts. David would help her. He had to help her! She wrote him a brief message. Rolling it tightly, she tied a string around it. Then she summoned her handmaiden. “Take this to the king.”

“What if the guards won’t let me through the gate?”

“Ask for Joram. Give him the message. Tell him it’s from me and meant for the king’s eyes only.”

“Yes, my lady.”

Bathsheba closed the door and pressed her forehead against it. All types of fearsome possibilities swirled in her mind. Surely David would be honor bound to help her. Surely he wouldn’t forsake the daughter of Eliam, the granddaughter of Ahithophel. Surely he would try to do something for her so that Uriah would never find out she’d betrayed him. But what could he do? What? He could secret her away so that she could have his child in another city. Where would he send her? Where? Where!

Oh, David, help me! Please help me!

She refused to believe he was indifferent. How could he be after the risks he’d taken to bring her into the palace? But what would David do to solve this problem?

Exhausted by worry, she sat. She had no choice but to wait, for her life was in the king’s hands.

* * *

David felt an ominous premonition when his guard whispered, “The handmaid of Bathsheba, wife of Uriah, has come with a message.” The mere mention of Bathsheba’s name was a jolt to his senses, arousing feelings he knew were better forgotten. He’d never wanted a woman as much as he wanted her. How many times over the past weeks had he denied himself the pleasure of summoning her again because he knew it would increase the risk of exposure? He’d had to remind himself repeatedly that she was the wife of a friend, the daughter of one of his most valued captains, the granddaughter of Ahithophel, a man he’d respected for years! He had enough trouble in the kingdom without turning friends into enemies!

“Bring the maidservant to me.”

He felt curious eyes upon him as he untied the string around the small papyrus. He read Bathsheba’s brief message, and his stomach dropped. Heat climbed up his neck and spread across his face. Three words, enough to shock him from his complacency and trumpet disaster:

I am pregnant.

He felt the accusation in those three words and heard Bathsheba’s desperate cry for help. He brushed his fingers lightly over the words and frowned. Guilt gripped him.

Oh, Bathsheba.
He remembered his promise and wondered how he could fulfill it. Her handmaiden stood in the doorway, waiting for his reply. He saw heads leaning toward one another, whispering. Speculation already! He could hear the soft buzz. Would it grow into screams for blood? His
and
hers? Disaster stretched ahead for both of them if word of their affair spread. He needed time to think, time to find a solution to this problem!