A Lifetime to Find Love (22 page)

“Champagne, cheese, crackers, and strawberries.  Tess, how is this going to help with your photo shoot?”

Tessa shot him a look that said exactly how those items would be helping her today.  “Do you really want to know that, Rowan?”  She gave him a wink as she placed the cup in front of him and sat down across the table from him.   Rowan let out a slow breath.

“So, I guess things are going well for you two.  I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to Cade much lately.”  He sounded hurt and so alone.  Tessa hadn’t really thought much about how her relationship with Cade would affect Rowan, so to sit here seeing the expression on his face, she realized that not only had Rowan and her not spent much time together these past few weeks, but he hadn’t seen much of his best friend either. 

Rowan was happy for his sister and his best friend, but a part of him felt a tinge of envy.  Cade had called him last night to talk to him about his feelings toward Tessa.  He’d never heard Cade talk about anyone with the emotions he did in regards to her.  He knew Cade had fallen in love with her and, after talking to him last night, he knew that for the first time since he met Cade, he had found the one person who made his life complete.  Now, after seeing the look of disappointment on Tessa face and the shopping list, he knew she was feeling the same way.  As happy as he was for the both of them, he felt a void.  He, too, wanted to find that kind of relationship.  After what had happened with Erin, he didn’t think that he ever would want to get serious with anyone, but sitting in Tessa’s kitchen, seeing the glow on her face, made him realize that he was lonelier than he thought.  His relationship with Tessa was changing also.  No matter how much she loved him, he would become second in her life behind Cade and his heart ached from just the thought of it.  Ever since their mother died, Rowan had been first when it came to Tessa.  She had always made time for him, had always shared her disappointments, her joys, everything with him.  It was inevitable for him to become second to the man that held her heart, of course, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Hey, where are you?”  Tessa’s voice brought him out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“I asked where you were.  You seemed a million miles away.  Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just lost in my thoughts.  Are you ready to go?”

“Yep, let me just grab my purse and we can get out of here.”

As Tessa headed out of the kitchen, Rowan grabbed her and gave her a long hug.  She looked up at him a little baffled.

“What was that for?  Are you sure you are okay?”

“What? I’m not allowed to hug my sister without you thinking something is wrong?”

“Of course you can hug me, but you just seem kind of not right.”

He gave her a little push toward the door. “You’ve been telling me that since we were kids, not much has changed has it.  Let’s go, before I change my mind and go back home to bed.”

“Okay, I’m glad you’re coming with me.  You can help me pick out the champagne because I have no idea what I’m looking for.”

Tessa and Rowan spent the rest of the morning shopping.  She hadn’t realized how much she missed him until they were out and about.  She’d been so caught up in spending time with Cade and then trying to get everything done for the calendar that she had not spent much time with Rowan.  It was so good to be hanging out with him.  She was a little worried about him though.  He seemed kind of distant and she wasn’t sure if he was just tired from working so much, or if something was bothering him.  She had asked him a several times, but he had just brushed off her questions.  As they got in the car to head back to her place she couldn’t take not knowing what was bothering him any longer.

“Rowan, what is going on with you?  You haven’t been yourself today.”

“I’m just tired, Tess. It’s nothing.”

“Bullshit.  I know you well enough to know it’s not just you being tired.  Is it Cade and I?  You know I like to give you a hard time and joke around, but if my relationship with him is bothering you, you need to let me know and we’ll work it out.”

“It’s not bothering me how you think it is.”  He let out a sigh.  “I’m happy for you two.  Things seem to be going well and I am glad that you two discovered there was more there than just friendship.”

“Then what is it, Rowan?  What aren’t you telling me?”

“When I came over this morning and saw the disappointment on your face when you saw it wasn’t Cade, it made me realize I want someone in my life that gets disappointed when they see it’s someone other than me.  I don’t even know if that makes sense.”

“Rowan…”

“It’s okay, Tess.  Really. I’m happy for both of you.  I know my time will come.”  He shook his head as Tessa started the car.  “You know, when I called off the wedding with Erin, I didn’t think I ever wanted to get into another serious relationship.  I’m tired though, Tess.  Tired of going home alone, tired of waking up alone. I guess I’m just tired of being alone.”

“I had no idea.  I’m sorry. Here I am always trying to torment you with my relationship with Cade and I never stopped to think once that it might be hurting you.”

“It’s not. Don’t think that way.  Seeing you and Cade, it gives me hope that there is someone out there for me.  It’s good to see that he makes you happy and to know that you make him happy.  Besides, when has it ever bothered you to know that you can torment me?”

Once they got back to Tessa’s, she had to rush to get everything together to head out to Cade’s.  She and Rowan had taken longer shopping than she had planned.  Rowan helped her pack up the picnic basket and even gave her a few pointers on the use of the strawberries.  She really had no idea what she was doing, but had remembered reading in one of those girlie magazines, while waiting to have her hair cut, that champagne and strawberries were a must for a romantic picnic.  And although Rowan was a little freaked out by the idea, he was very helpful.  As soon as Rowan left, she put everything in the car and headed over to Cade’s.

Chapter 22

The first thing Tessa noticed when she arrived at Cade’s was that his Jeep wasn’t there.  Here she was already late and he wasn’t even home.  Her initial reaction was to be upset with him for making her wait, but really she was late herself so how could she be.  Just as she started to dial his number, he pulled into the driveway and bolted from the vehicle.

“I’m so sorry I’m late.  I got called to the hospital because one of my patients was rushed to the E.R.  I hope you weren’t waiting long.”  He sounded like he had just run a marathon trying to explain why he wasn’t sitting at home waiting for her.

“Actually, I just got here myself.  Rowan came over this morning and we lost track of time.  Is your patient okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine.  A six year old. He had an asthma attack.  Poor little guy was so scared.  It was the first time it happened to him, so it was a little scary for both him and his parents.  We got it under control though and he should be fine.  Come on in while I change.”

Tessa followed him into the house, amazed at the compassion he spoke with as he explained the situation with the little boy.  She hadn’t really heard him talk much about work, but as she listened to him, she realized that what he did was more than work to him. It was a part of who he was.  Most doctors went into the field to make money or to get the chicks.  She remembered when he and Rowan had decided to become doctors.  They, too, had talked about all the money they would make and all the girls they would get, but as time went by she saw a change in both of them and the compassion they had for people. 

Cade was really drawn to children. Even as a teenager, he would mentor kids younger than himself.  One summer, he had even volunteered in the children’s ward at the hospital.  She hadn’t thought about it much back then, really she thought he was just trying to hit up on the nurses, but looking back now, he really did take an interest in what he was doing with those kids.  She would occasionally, when he would come to their house, overhear him talking to Rowan about each and every kid on the ward.  He knew the name of every one of them and what they were in for.  Thinking about that made her heart swell even more for him.  It was a rare thing nowadays to find someone who put others’ well being before their own and that was the kind of person Cade was.  He made her want to be a better person just for being who he was.  It also made her realize for the first time what a wonderful father he would be someday.  It was the first time she’d ever seen him in that light.  As he led her up the walkway to the house with his hand on the small of her back, she couldn’t keep the smile or the pride from showing on her face.

“What’s that look for?” he asked suspiciously.

“Nothing, I was just thinking how wonderful you are.” 

She leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.  As she started to pull away, he pulled her into his arms and held her for just a moment.  With all the excitement from his trip to the E.R., he felt emotionally drained and holding her in his arms seemed to bring back his strength.  She was his anchor and he wanted to hold onto her forever.  Reluctantly, he released her and guided her into the house.

“Give me just a second to take a quick shower and change and then we can head out.  Did you eat anything this morning?  I didn’t get a chance. If you want, we can grab something on the way or I can make us a sandwich for the road.”

“Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll make the sandwiches.”

Cade gave her a quick wink and leaned down for a kiss.  Whispering against her lips, he said, “Make yourself at home.”  What he was really saying was,
stay…don’t leave, I want you to fall asleep with me every night and wake up with me every morning.
  He certainly couldn’t say that yet though.  He hadn’t even told her he loved her and he certainly couldn’t just jump in with the whole move in with me. 

As Cade showered, Tessa did make herself at home.  She had only been to his house a few times and never stayed long enough to explore.  As she wandered around before heading to the kitchen, she definitely saw Cade in every detail of his home.  The cream colored couch and matching loveseat in his living room were accented by the tan carpet.  In his office, he had two bookshelves lined with medical books.  Tessa found herself running her fingers over the bindings of the books, not because she was fascinated with the books themselves but because Cade’s hands had held each one.  The pictures strewn throughout the house on the walls were of friends and family, and some were from photographers like Ansel Adams, one of Tessa’s favorites.  One picture in particular that sat next to the basket that held his keys by the front door, caught her eye though.  It was a string of pictures that were from one of those picture booths, like in the mall that teenage couples always seem to find themselves in.  She remembered when she had gotten into that damn thing.  She and Rowan had gone shopping one Saturday after breakfast and they had been silly enough to play around in the booth, each taking a turn at having their pictures taken.  While she watched her pictures develop, she had laughed so hard at the different, stupid faces she had made.  Rowan had snatched them out of her hand as she went to throw them in the nearest trash can.  She had begged him to throw them away and he had promised that he would.  Now, here they sat on a table in Cade’s home.  Not just any table either, the table he passed by and looked at every day.  Why, she wasn’t sure.  She grabbed the pictures and headed to the kitchen to quickly make the sandwiches.  Minutes later, Cade strolled in looking sexy as ever.  As she turned and looked at him, her breath caught in her throat.  He was absolutely gorgeous and he was all hers.  He wore blue jeans that clung to every inch of his lower body and that left no room for the imagination, although she didn’t have to imagine, only remember what those jeans held underneath the cloth.  He wore a black t-shirt that emphasized his defined chest and arms.  And his hair hung as it always did in a perfect mess.  He looked absolutely amazing.

“I wasn’t sure what you wanted me to wear for the shoot, so I just threw this on.  I can change if you want me to.”

“Nope, that is perfect, besides the shirt won’t be on for long anyway.”

“That’s what I was hoping for.  What about the jeans?  Will I be keeping those on today?” he asked as he walked up beside her to start helping her with the sandwiches.