A Life Worth Living (7 page)

“Oh no,” Dora said.

Standing, Lester shook hands with Allen. “That isn’t necessary. I was just preparing to leave.”

Dora walked to the door with him, trying not to show how eager she was for him to leave. Why had Allen come to New York? Whatever the reason, she was delighted to see him.

❧

Allen stood at the wide window overlooking the park, Dora at his side. He’d always known that his world and Dora’s were eons apart, but if he’d needed more proof, the location of this apartment made it evident. Even in the mountains, he’d heard of Central Park and the expensive dwellings and businesses around the area.

He heard footsteps behind them, and Dora turned. Maude had entered the room with a tray and greeted Allen graciously before she set several items on a long table in front of the davenport. “It’s good to have you visit, Mr. Bolden. Do you want me to pour?”

“No thanks,” Dora said. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Ring if you need anything else.”

Dora sat on the davenport and invited Allen to sit with her.

“I’m not hungry,” he said. “I ate at the train station.”

“Regardless, you can drink another cup of coffee or tea and eat a cinnamon roll while you tell me why you’re here. As I said, you couldn’t have made the trip just to see
me
. Is there something wrong at the mill?”

Allen smiled. “As far as I know, everything inside the mill is all right. It’s Ted Morgan. Maybe I just have a suspicious mind, but your manager is building himself an office. He’s also driving a new buggy pulled by a team of thoroughbred horses, which I have an idea he bought with your money. If you approve of that, all right, but I’m sure your father wouldn’t.”

“It’s your fault,” she said, a stubborn expression on her face. It amused him to some extent—they hadn’t been together fifteen minutes, and already they were disagreeing.

“My fault!” he said.

“Yes, your fault!” she answered. “If you’d taken over management of the mill as I wanted you to, there wouldn’t have been any problem.”

“If you’d move to North Carolina like you ought to,” he retorted, “there wouldn’t be any trouble. With your intelligence and your riches, you could make that textile mill one of the best in the whole country.”

“You still don’t understand, do you?” She stood and walked to the window again. With a sweep of her hand, she asked, “After you’ve seen all of this, can’t you realize what I’d be giving up to move to North Carolina?”

“Of course I can,” Allen said and followed her to the window. His legs were still stiff from sitting for hours on the long train ride, and he wanted to stand.

“You’d be leaving the noise, smoke, and crowded streets where people don’t even look at each other as they’re hurrying from one place to the other. If you’d leave this behind, you’d be gaining a view of the mountains, fresh air, and the opportunity to turn the Fairfield Textile Mill into a business that would not only be profitable for your employees, but also to you. You’d have neighbors and friends who would have your best interest at heart and would help you in any way necessary.”

Dora sniffed. “And I suppose you think that would compensate for giving up the lifestyle I’ve had since childhood. It doesn’t matter to me whether I inherit his fortune or not. My grandmother left me plenty of money, but I don’t want Father to give his wealth to a cousin I don’t even like.”

“I believe your father is testing you. It’s your choice, of course, and if you want to continue to be an absentee landlord, so be it. I thought it was only right for me to warn you that, if the present trend continues, Ted Morgan will probably steal you blind and maybe ruin the business in the process. I normally don’t meddle in other people’s affairs, but you’re my friend, and I couldn’t get it out of my mind to tell you. I’ve done that now, so I’ll head back to North Carolina.”

He turned toward the door, and she jerked on his coattail.

“You’ll do no such thing,” she said, an annoyed
expression on her face. “When I’ve missed you for weeks, the least you can do is stay a day or two. At least stay long enough to see some of New York so you will realize how my life would change if I commit to spending the rest of my life in North Carolina. And if you’ve come bearing any more bad news, wait until you’re ready to go home to tell me.”

“I’ll stay one night,” Allen agreed. “Then I’ll head south. I can’t afford to stay in this city very long.”

“If you’ll be reasonable, it won’t cost you anything except your train fare. We have an apartment on the floor below, which Father keeps for visiting business associates. You can stay there free of charge, and I’d like for you to take your meals with me. It’s lonely eating alone. Consider it a return for all the things you did for me when I was in North Carolina.”

“All right, I’ll accept your hospitality for one night. Now I want to know what you plan to do with the mill. It’s none of my business, but you asked me to alert you to any problems. Morgan is a problem.”

“What is he doing or not doing? Do you think he’ll steal from me?”

“Now, Dora, you know me well enough to realize that I won’t speculate on what
might
happen. At this point, I don’t know that Morgan is dishonest, but he is greedy. I suspect he’s purchasing things, like that new buggy, for his own benefit. He may have paid for the buggy with his own money, but I doubt it.”

“I certainly didn’t authorize a new buggy for him.”

“I could be wrong, but someone hinted to me that he used company money to buy it. He’s also sped up production, and since he’s being paid a percentage of the mill’s income, he’s increased the workload of the mill hands to make more money. They were already working long hours, and they’re mad about it. Besides that, he’s slow in authorizing necessary repairs to the company houses. For instance, part of the roof blew off the house where Kitty lives. He hasn’t ordered a repair order yet.”

“Isn’t that the little crippled girl?”

Allen nodded.

“She’s been on my mind a lot. Father has a good friend who’s a surgeon here in the city. I’m sure he could easily repair the damage in her leg. I’d pay for it.”

He nodded in agreement. “That’s the type of thing you
should
do for your workers and their families. Their homes need repair, and most of the managers haven’t been in any hurry to order the work done. It would be easy for you to sit here in luxury and not have any idea of the needs of your employees. My conscience wouldn’t let me rest until you knew what the situation is, so rather than writing a letter, I decided to notify you personally. But I’ve meddled all I intend to. I’ve told you about the situation—that’s all I can do. You’ll have to take it from here. I may be wrong, but I still believe that if you continue to leave everything in Morgan’s control, he’ll bankrupt you.”

“I wouldn’t like that,” Dora agreed. “And I can already hear my father’s reaction. I can’t make decisions about the mill on the spur of the moment, though. If you’re going to leave tomorrow, let’s take a look at New York this afternoon. We’ll hire a carriage.”

seven

After they’d traveled through the palatial districts of the city, which Allen admitted were quite impressive, he said to the driver, “Buddy, let’s take a look at the other face of New York. How about going down to the waterfront and to the ghettos? I’ve read the photo documentary
How the Other Half Lives
published by Jacob Riis. I’d like to see if his facts were true.”

“I don’t own this rig, and I ain’t allowed to go certain places that you probably want to see,” the driver said. “But I can take you to some areas where you’ll get your eyes full.”

Thanks to the driver, Allen had a tour of part of the sprawling city of New York. After an hour, he had seen enough to know that the reports he’d heard of the pressures caused by industrialization, sprawling urban cities, violent labor uprisings, economic depression, and fears of the middle classes in the cities were all true. He’d also witnessed firsthand the difference between his upbringing and Dora’s—seen enough to realize that if he’d ever harbored dreams that he and Dora could share a life, it was a false hope. He noticed more than one building that had the name Porter on it, and it was beyond his comprehension to understand how any one man could have so much money.

Allen noticed that Dora had become quieter, but he couldn’t interpret the expression on her face as they spent the next two hours visiting parts of New York she probably hadn’t seen before. Perhaps it was time he came to New York so she would realize how common people lived.

During the time he’d known her in North Carolina, Dora had given some strong indications that she con-sidered him more than a friend. She had hinted that she would like to make him a partner in the business, but when he ignored the hint, she hadn’t persisted. He’d thought at first that she might have some interest in George Vanderbilt, but she’d only been to Biltmore a few times and that was always when he’d invited a group of people. And although he admitted that he wasn’t any authority on the working of a woman’s mind, there were times when he thought that her hand on his shoulder seemed more of a caress than a gentle touch.

Although he believed he hadn’t harbored any hope that they could become a couple, he knew that he’d had his dreams, too. Dreams that, he now understood, could never come to fruition. He was sorry that he’d come to New York City, for the trip had only emphasized what he’d known all along. There was no future for him and Dora.

When they returned to her apartment, she said, “I’d like to take you to a Broadway play tonight, if you’ll agree to go.”

Allen couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do less, but remembering that Dora entered without criticism into the slight entertainment around Fairfield, he agreed to go. To his surprise, he was captivated by the performance. Before they left her apartment, Dora had spent an hour telling him the story of the show they would see. He found it quite difficult to interpret the British pronunciation, but in spite of that, it was easy for him to follow the actors’ performance, which followed the summary he’d read in advance.

An Ideal Husband
opens during a dinner party at the home of Sir Robert Chiltern in London, a respected member of the House of Commons. Sir Robert is being blackmailed by Mrs. Cheveley, who has been an enemy of Sir Robert’s wife, Mabel, since their school days.Much of the conflict revolves around the stocks Sir Robert had bought in the construction of the Suez Canal before the British government announced its purchase. With this information Mrs. Cheveley attempts to blackmail Sir Robert to support a fraudulent scheme to build a canal in Argentina.

Lady Chiltern isn’t aware of her husband’s problems. Their marriage had been predicated on her having an “ideal husband.” She isn’t aware that Sir Robert had gathered his fortune through illicit means.Lord Goring urges Sir Robert to fight Mrs. Cheveley and reveal his guilt to his wife.

With many twists and turns the drama finally ended, leaving Allen confused and wondering why anyone would enjoy living in a city like this. He had at first refused to come to the theater with her, protesting that his new garments might be suitable for North Carolina but not New York. She said it wouldn’t matter, but Allen was miserable knowing that he stuck out like a sore thumb with a brown tweed suit when the other men were dressed in black tuxedos and white shirts. He wouldn’t have known the difference if she’d just taken him to a small theater, but he could tell when he entered that she’d taken him to one of the fanciest theaters in New York. When he not only looked like but thought like a country bumpkin, he asked Dora if he could sneak out a back door.

“Absolutely not,” she said. He grew even more surprised when Dora introduced him to dozens of her acquaintances as her friend from North Carolina. He’d believed that he couldn’t possibly think of Dora more highly than he already did, but if she was ashamed of his appearance, he couldn’t tell it. She didn’t treat him any differently in Haymarket Theater than she did when they walked the streets of Fairfield.

❧

Allen’s train didn’t leave until noon the next day, so he and Dora enjoyed a leisurely breakfast and took a walk in Central Park before he left. While they walked, Dora took his hand. He squeezed it gently as they walked down the tree-lined paths, and Allen enjoyed the beauty of the area. When they walked through slightly wooded areas, he was reminded of some of the forest areas near Fairfield, especially the area where he’d met Dora. How much his life had changed since then! He had never doubted that he would live out his days on earth as a bachelor. After all, he’d lived unmarried more than thirty years, and it never entered his mind that he’d meet somebody like Dora and it would be “love at first sight.” Although he would never ask her to marry him, he was convinced that he did love her.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave so soon,” Dora com-plained as they approached her apartment. “When will I see you again?”

He raised his eyebrows. “That’s up to you. I can’t afford a trip to New York City very often. If you want to see me, you know where to find me.”

Maude served sandwiches and hot tea to them when they returned to the apartment. Allen complimented her on the pastries, and she seemed pleased. It was obvious that she approved of him.

“But you will let me know if you think I need to come to Fairfield?” Dora insisted.

He frowned. “I came all the way to New York to notify you that an absentee owner is not a good idea, especially in this case. I’ve told you several times that you need to oversee the textile mill yourself—not pay someone else to do it. Unless I’m called to do some carpentry work, I don’t have any reason to be in the textile mill, so it isn’t likely I’ll know what Morgan is doing. I’m not going to be your spy. Since my brother has come to live with me, I’m staying on the farm every night—not stopping over at Aunt Sallie’s Boardinghouse sometimes when I’m working beyond Fairfield. I’ve warned you what is happening, and that’s all I can do. I can’t make decisions for you.”

Pulling his watch from his pocket, Allen said, “I have to leave.”

“I wish you would stay another day or two, but if I can’t convince you, I’ll go to the station with you. That will give us a little more time. It’s hard to tell when we’ll be together again.” They put on their coats, but at the door Dora tugged on his sleeve. Tears came into her eyes, and she leaned against him. Was this an act to get him to stay a few more days, or would she really miss him? He’d enjoyed this short visit with her so much that he knew how lonely he’d be when he returned to Asheville. If he ever doubted that he loved Dora, this visit had made him realize that love had come to him at last. Why did he have to fall in love with a woman he couldn’t have? There were too many differences in their backgrounds and way of life for him to ever entertain a closer relationship. His mind was telling him that, but his heart had another message.

He dropped the suitcase to the floor and pulled her toward him. With a surprised glance, she snuggled into his arms and placed her head on his shoulder. He felt her rapid heartbeat, and if he’d ever doubted that she really did care for him, he would never doubt it again.

Frustrated at the futility of their relationship, Allen held Dora close for a short time. When she lifted her tear-stained face, he lowered his lips to hers. There was no way he could ever have her, so why couldn’t he stop involving himself in her business? Would it be possible for him to return to North Carolina and ever be content again? Before Dora came to Asheville, he’d been happy with his lifestyle, having no other thought except to live in happy bachelorhood. Now the prospect of living out his life as a single man left him feeling empty and distressed. A long future of dissatisfaction loomed before him.

When he released her, she said, “I don’t know which is the hardest—not seeing you at all or to have you to myself for two whole days then having to say good-bye again. Do you know that I sometimes wish I’d never come to Fairfield in the first place?”

He smiled slightly. “I know what you mean. Both of us might have been happier if we’d never seen each other.”

They were mostly silent as they walked toward the station.

“Will you write?” she asked after he’d checked the train schedule and found he had a half hour to wait.

“Write about what? The textile mill?”

“About anything you want to. I’ll be interested in everything you do—how your farming venture turns out and if your brother stays with you or starts wandering again.”

“I hope he stays. He seems to like the farm, and he is a big help to me. Besides, I think he’s sweet on Kitty.”

“You mean the child who has the twisted leg.”

“That’s the one, but she really isn’t a child. She’s small for her age, but she’s sixteen, an age when many of our girls get married.”

“I’d like to help her. Father has a doctor friend who’s a bone surgeon, and I feel sure he could mend her leg if she lived closer.”

“The family wouldn’t have the money to pay a surgeon even if he came to North Carolina.”

“Oh, he does lots of charity work. If not, I’d pay for the surgery. It wouldn’t cost her family anything.”

“The local people like to consider themselves inde-pendent, and they’re touchy about accepting handouts.”

“Nevertheless, I’ll give it some thought. I could ask the doctor to charge them a small amount to avoid any embarrassment.”

Dora was silent the rest of their walk, and her face took on an expression that reminded him very much of her father. Allen knew that she was considering options, and she’d probably come up with some solution.

They sat on a bench in the corner to wait for the southbound train to arrive. Since they’d said their good-byes at the apartment, Allen prepared to leave when the train rumbled into the station. There didn’t seem anything else to do or say. Dora’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, and he squeezed the hand she held out to him and bent over for one last kiss. Dora knew her father would have a fit if he ever heard she’d been kissed in the nonprivacy of a large train station, but at that moment, she didn’t care if President Cleveland himself witnessed the kiss. She sniffed and tried to stop crying as Allen boarded the train, but she stood close to the train and waited until he found a seat in a forward car and waved to her. She stood watching until the train left the station, her face covered in tears. If he lived to be a hundred years old, Allen knew he’d never forget this moment. There was no doubt that she really did love him. Was he foolish to reject the love she was so eager to share with him?