A Life Without Fear (Life #2) (18 page)

He pays the bill, then places my hand in his and we walk out hand-in-hand. Adam is standing next to the car waiting for us. Blake’s phone rings as soon as we’re seated in the car, he ignores it the first time, but it rings again so he answers. I can tell it’s about work so I tune him out and think more about our relationship. I wish I had others to base these feelings on. I don’t have the relationship history like most because I’ve steered away from them as much as possible. Why is it with Blake, I want to be closer to him? Why is it that I’d rather be with him than be alone? I want to embrace these feelings so bad and God knows I’m trying, but I’m scared.

“Angelica?” Blake turns my face to meet his.

“Sorry, I have a lot on my mind.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks with a worried look.

“Yes, I promise.” I hold his face tenderly and kiss him passionately.

I hear the car door open, and run my fingers through his hair and tug it. I’m rewarded with a low groan coming from the back of his throat. Our tongues meet and gently caress, I slowly break away.

“Goodnight Blake, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I have to come over and prep dinner.” I start to make my way around the car. “Thanks, Adam,” I call out to him.

“You’re welcome, Ang,” he says before getting back into the driver’s seat.

“Nice try,” Blake calls as he walks up to me and pulls me back into his embrace. “I’ll text you all the codes to my penthouse. Make yourself at home, although knowing you’ll be at my place will make it very hard for me to concentrate, I should just take the loss and stay home with you.” He kisses me tenderly.

“Oh, no you don’t, all you’ll do is distract me. Plus, work is important, so you will go!” I chastise him breaking away and continuing up my steps.

“Nothing is more important than you, Angelica. But I consent to going to work if you insist. I love you, sweetie, I’ll see you tomorrow after work.”

“I love you too, Blake.”

With that, I unlock my door and walk inside. It still feels weird to hear him say those words, even weirder to say them back. Not because I don’t mean them just because I’ve never said them before. I wonder if that’s a good thing that I’ve never uttered those words before. Maybe it’s sad that it’s taken me this long to fall in love.
God, why am I over thinking this.
Heading upstairs I change into pajamas and wash my face. Crawling into bed, I power up my Kindle and download a mystery book—I love reading.

Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

Jesus, my phone is going off like crazy. Who the hell is texting me?

Sam:
Hey Sex Muffin.

Sam:
Thanks for the invite to Thanksgiving.

Sam:
I can’t wait to eat some of your homemade cooking.

Sam:
I’m drunk.

Sam:
So is Joey.

Oh, drunken text messages from Sammy are fun. Usually, he sends me selfie after selfie, I’m surprised he hasn’t done that this time.

Ding.

Ahh, there it is, him and Joey at a bar somewhere, looking happy as ever. God I love those two men.

Me:
Have fun and be safe you drunk fuckers. And THANKS for the invite!

I don’t have to wait long for a response.

Sam:
Oh hush, you know you were probably out with that fine ass man of yours. I can’t wait to see him on Thursday. Yum.

Ha, Thursday is going to be fun. God knows Sammy won’t be bashful when he’s around Blake.

Me:
True I was ;) Don’t hate me cuz you ain’t me. :P Now leave me alone I’m trying to read!!!

Sam:
Bossy bossy! Fine, you’re no fun. Night Grandma!!

That bastard, though it is true, the night is still young and I’m in bed with a book. Oh well, I’m happy.

About an hour later and countless chapters in, I’m dying of thirst and scared out of my mind. This book is more like a horror story, not a mystery at all. I feel like I’m eight and I just watched
Chuckie.
Sweet Jesus, what the fuck was I thinking reading this book at night? Alone? I usually would make Rodger go with me to get water, but now I don’t even have him. Grabbing my phone I text Blake, he’ll calm me down.

Me:
I just started reading a scary book and am too scared to go get a drink of water downstairs. :(

He doesn’t respond immediately, so I decide to read some more. Maybe if I figure out who’s haunting the woman in the story I’ll feel better.

Nope, those five chapters did nothing to help.
Did I just hear a noise?
Closing my Kindle I sit up in bed and listen. Nothing. Jesus, how can I be letting my imagination be getting the best of me? My phone rings from beside me and makes me yelp in surprise. Looking at the screen I see it’s Blake.

“Hello?” I answer timidly.

“Hey Angel, I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, I was in the middle of a work crisis. Do you need me to come over?”

“No, there’s no need for that, I’m just being stupid.”

“Why don’t you take me with you on the phone to go get your water?” he asks.

“Good idea. But don’t talk because I want to hear if someone’s in the house.”

“Angelica, no one is in your house and you know it.” He sounds upset. “And if, for any reason you feel like someone is there, I will be there in five minutes.”

“No, no, there’s no need for that. I’m just being silly, letting my imagination get the best of me. Just stay on the phone while I go downstairs.”

I hop out of bed and hurriedly make my way to the kitchen for a bottle of water. Once I have it, I sprint back up and hop back in bed.

“Done,” I say into the phone a little breathlessly. “Thank you for staying on the phone with me.”

“You’re welcome. Want to tell me about what you are reading?” he asks.

“No, it will only scare me more,” I joke into the phone. “I plan on listening to Britney Spears until I fall asleep now.”

“Ha, that will keep the bad dreams away.”

“Hopefully, thank you for calling me back, Blake. Sorry to interrupt your phone call, I hope all is well at work.”

“It will be.” His response is stern.

“I’ll let you go, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Blake.”

“Goodnight Angelica.”

Neither of us hangs up and we both laugh.

“You hang up first,” he says.

“Okay, love you.”

“I love you, angel.”

With that, I hang up the phone. Bad thoughts are all but vanished, turning out the light I lay down and fall asleep.

I’m running in central park at night when I see a dark figure jump out of a bush and start to run after me. Running as fast as I can screaming for help when Rodger runs past me and attacks the man behind me…

Gasping I wake up with a scream. Good God, what the hell was that about? That fucking book really did a number on me. A sudden melancholy feeling comes over me, I miss Rodger. Trying to shake the feelings before they overcome me, I change quickly into running clothes, brush my teeth then head out of the house. My headphones are blaring Calvin Harris’s ‘
Summer.’
Maybe I can outrun my feelings. I hit the pavement hard, not having to work today means I can run further. Instead of running the streets, I head to the park. The scenes in front of me change and the songs playing switches, but I don’t pay attention to either. I just keep running. I don’t realize how far I’ve gone until I see I’m at the end of the park and notice I’m now at Blake’s building.
Fuck me, how did I get this far?
Only now do I realize how exhausted I am and how bad my legs are burning. I spot a bench up ahead and collapse onto it. My breathing is rapid and my heart feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest. Again, lost in my own world, I don’t realize someone is next to me until I look up and scream in shock.

“Jesus Adam!” I yell at him pulling my earbuds out.

“I’m sorry, Angelica. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ve been calling your name. Are you okay? Did you run here?” I look up at him and see he’s in running clothes as well.

“Yeah, I didn’t realize how far I’d run until I got to this bench,” I explain.

“Damn, that’s a long morning run.”

“You’re telling me.” I laugh. “I feel like my legs are Jell-O and my chest is on fire.”

“Do you need a ride home? I don’t mind giving you a lift.”

“Actually yeah, I do. Only I literally can’t even walk to the car.” I laugh. “God, I’m a dumbass.”

“Come on, I’ll carry you.”

“No way!” I screech. “I’ll break your back!”

“Oh, cut your shit.” His eyebrows shoot up and he gives me an apologetic look. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to swear. Forgive me.”

“Ha, stop it, Adam. You can swear in front of me.” I smile. “But you’re so not carrying me, I can walk. Slowly,” I add for good measure.

Helping me to my feet we eventually make our way to Blake’s building.

“Do you live here too?”

“Right.” He laughs. “No, I run the park most mornings, though. I’m surprised to see you out so early.”

“What time is it?”

“You don’t know what time it is? It’s 3:45 a.m.”

“Sweet Jesus, it is?” I screech.

“Yeah, how did you not know that?” he asks.

“I had a nightmare and thought I could shake it off by going for a run. I didn’t even look at the clock before I left.”

“I see. You feel better now?” he asks curiously.

“No,” I answer honestly.

We’re quiet the rest of the walk, he gives me his arm to use as a crutch and I do. I lean on him heavily. I’ve never hurt my legs so badly before. My knees are burning in pain. God, if I’m this sore right now, I don’t even want to know how bad I will be hurting tomorrow. I wonder what time I left and how quickly I ran? As we prepare to cross the street, I see Blake walking out of the building in his workout clothes. He spots us almost immediately and runs toward us.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he calls out as he nears us.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Luckily Adam found me and is helping me get home. I just overdid it, that’s all.”

“You ran here?” Blake asks shocked.

“Yeah. Only I didn’t mean to, I just ran.”

“Why?”

“I had a nightmare. I thought a long hard run would make me feel better.” He starts to talk when I interrupt him. “No, it didn’t work,” I answer before he can ask. Adam laughs from beside me.

“I asked her the same thing,” he says to Blake. “I’ll go run and get the car now.”

“No, I’ll take her home. Thank you, Adam. I owe you.”

“You owe me nothing. I hope you feel better Angelica,” he says before he walks toward the building.

“Thank you, Adam,” I call after him.

“Let’s get you inside and ice your knees. I bet they’re killing you right now.”

“God, more than you know.”

Without warning, Blake lifts me up into his arms and carries me into the building. I don’t argue, I just nestle into his chest and relax. Damn, he smells good. What is that? Shaving cream? Maybe even just deodorant. Jesus, he’s just perfect. The trip into his penthouse is too short for my liking. After setting me down on his leather couch, he walks into the kitchen to retrieve an ice pack. After propping my legs on pillows, he takes off my shoes and places the large ice pack across my knees.
Oh man, that’s heaven.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks his voice laced with concern.

“Not really, I just had a bad dream and wanted to clear my mind. I over did it, I didn’t mean to, I was just in the zone I suppose.” He stares at me with kind eyes and a soft smile playing on his lips. “I’ll be fine, mind giving me a ride home, though? I need to shower and change then come back here to prep all day.”

“Of course not, let me get you some
Aleve
first then I’ll drop you off.” He stands and walks out of the living room before I can object.

After giving me medicine and a water bottle, we head out of his penthouse to the garage, very slowly. I refused to be carried again, I deserve to feel pain, it’s what I get for being so stupid. On the drive home Joey text messages and informs me that he will be spending the day with me. It’s random that he’s up before ten, but I don’t question it.

“Do you mind if Joey comes over to your place while I’m prepping today?” I ask Blake, not wanting to just assume he wouldn’t mind.

“Of course I don’t mind. Please don’t feel the need to ask me for permission.”

“Well, I was just being courteous, I didn’t want to assume,” I tell him honestly.

“Thank you for asking but you don’t have to. I don’t mind at all who you invite to hang out with you.”

Oh Blake, how did I get so lucky to find you?
I ponder this thought as we pull up to my house and he walks around the car to open my door.

“Would you like me to wait and give you a ride back?”

“No way, I’ve already taken up enough of your morning. Really I’m fine. I’ll have Joey come over and we can share a taxi.” Pushing through the pain, I push onto my tiptoes and give him a peck on the lips before heading up the stairs to my house, slowly. “Bye Blake,” I call to him from over my shoulders.

“Have a good day, Angelica,” he says back right before I close the door behind me.

Very gingerly I make my way up the stairs and head straight for my bed. Stripping out of my clothes until I’m in nothing but a sports bra and underwear, I submit to the exhaustion that comes over me.

“Angelica, wake up damn it. You’re freaking me the fuck out,” Joey’s voice startles me awake.

“What the hell? When did you get here?” My voice is heavy with sleep. “Why are you up so early?” I ask him, he doesn’t do early. The text was one thing, but actually being out of bed is something else.

“Early? Bitch it is 10:00 a.m. What the hell happened to you?” He eyes me warily.

I look down and see I’m in my sports bra and thong with the blankets under me. Yeah, this may look odd. I wish he didn’t have to have that worrisome look on his face or the fear in his voice, but I understand why he does.

“It’s a long story, start the bath for me and I’ll explain everything,” I tell him tiredly.

He quickly goes into the bathroom and starts the tub. I strip out of the little clothes I have left then follow him into the bathroom. He’s filled it with bubbles. With a grin, I slowly enter the bathtub.

“Oh good God that feels so good.”

“Spill it, sister. Now!” His tone in stern, not wanting to worry him any longer I begin my rather embarrassing story.

“I had a nightmare last night where I was running at night with Rodger and someone popped out of the bushes and started to chase me. Rodger went after him and I woke up screaming. I was restless after that, and figuring I wasn’t going to be able to go back to bed, I changed into running clothes and went for a run. I wanted to go a little further and a little faster to try and clear my head of the fucked up dream.” I’m playing with the bubbles in the tub in order to avoid Joey’s eyes. I know they look sad and if I look at him I may cry. “Anyway, I didn’t realize how fast and how hard I’d run until Adam, Blake’s driver, spotted me and came up to me. By this point I was sitting on a bench panting like a maniac, I’m sure. I didn’t realize how far I’d run or that it wasn’t even four in the morning when he spotted me.”

“Jesus, Ang,” he says.

“I know. Anyway, Blake was walking out for his run when he saw us. He iced my knees and gave me some
Aleve
then I had him drop me off at home so I could get ready to go back and cook. And here we are now.”

“And do you feel better, Angelica?” Joey asks no humor to his voice.

“No, no, I don’t. Lesson learned. Help me wash my hair and I’ll love you forever.”

“As if you had a choice, sit up.”

Doing as he says, I sit up and enjoy the feeling of him washing my hair and rubbing my scalp. After rinsing off in the shower, Joey is waiting for me with a blow dryer. I sit in front of him without argument letting him dry my hair. After putting it in a side braid, I change into some sweats and a long sleeve top, throw on some Uggs and head down to meet Joey in my living room.

“Seriously, that’s what you’re wearing over there? You really must love the man,” he says sarcastically.

“Shut your ass up, I’m going to be prepping shit all day and I’m going to get messy. Let’s go, I need coffee ASAP.”

“Yes ma’am,” he says in his best southern accent.

Walking out arm-in-arm we hail a cab and head to Blake’s penthouse, of course, we stop at
Starbucks
on the way. Well, I stop, Joey runs in to get our drinks and food. Once we finally make it to Blake’s place we go up without incident. Joey takes it upon himself to take a tour of the place while I plop my ass down on the bar to drink my coffee and eat my bagel.

“Jesus Joseph and Mary this place is fan-fucking-tastic. Way to pick ‘em, Ang.”

“Shut the fuck up, I didn’t pick him because of his wealth, and you know it asshole.”

“I kid, I kid. You know I’m just fucking with you,” he says as he takes the seat next to me. “I’m not kidding though, this place is on-point.”

“It really is nice, isn’t it?” I walk around the island into the kitchen to start pulling out the ingredients I need. “When we went grocery shopping, we just dropped everything off downstairs and they came and put everything away! Fucking insane.”

“Damn, now that’s service.”

“Right? That’s what I said.”

We fall into easy conversation after that, about everything and nothing. We spend most of the day reviewing all the recipes checking what needs to be done now. We brine the turkey and prep the deserts. The day is going well, I’m so sore that I end up sitting on a barstool most of the day, luckily it doesn’t restrict me all that much. At around four that evening Blake comes home with massive amounts of Chinese food in tow. We all fix ourselves a plate full of food and sit down with a bottle of wine and watch
Step Brothers
. Joey and I know the movie by heart so we put on a good show for Blake. After the movie we all help to clean up the mess and Joey heads out for the night. After we say our goodbyes, Blake walks him to the elevator as I go up to his room for another shower. I knew I’d get filthy, I have so much shit in my hair and on my skin I need a serious shower. Just as I was about to get out of the shower, I notice Blake in all his naked glory walking in. Nope, not getting out now.

Blake’s shower is plenty big enough for the both of us and probably four others. I notice his rock hard erection is already sheathed in a condom. Stalking up to me his lips tenderly find mine. The first the kiss is slow and passionate, but as soon as I tangle his hair in my fingers he deepens the kiss and pushes me against the shower wall. Wrapping my legs around his waist he hoists me off the ground and grabs my ass. Breaking away from my mouth he kisses my neck and my chest, slowly sucking my nipples, one at a time. He’s applying just enough pressure where there’s no pain. After gently unwrapping my legs from his waist he kneels in front of me and puts one of my legs over his shoulder. The action causes me to be open right in front of his face and he takes advantage of his position. The tip of his tongue gently rubs on my clit.