A Life Less Ordinary (23 page)

Zeke
frowned.  “That’s not so bad, I guess – six months.”

“Years,”
Manny clarified, laughing.  “Six
years
.”

Zeke
gaped at her.  “Good grief!  How can you possibly go so long without it?  Are
you a nun?”

Manny
shrugged.  “Maybe I should have been.  Then again, you don’t miss what you’ve
never really had.”

Zeke
shook his head in disbelief.  “Okay then – how many men have you slept with?”

“Two.”

“Good
God!” Zeke blurted.

“Hey,
now,” Manny objected, “I’ll have you know I’ve slept with every man who’s asked
me!”

Zeke
gaped at her.  “Are you shitting me?” he demanded.

She
wordlessly shook her head.

“That’s...just...”
he trailed off, at a loss for words.

Manny
snapped, “It’s not sad, or pathetic, or anything else, thank you very much.  It
just
is
.”

Zeke
blinked.  “I wasn’t thinking anything like that!”

“Yes,
you were – I could see it in your face.”

Zeke
walked in silence for a long moment before he slowly said, “It’s just – I don’t
think I’ve ever met anyone who’s lived such a – a -”

“Celibate
lifestyle?” she supplied in dangerously sweet tones.

He
nodded.

“Then
you don’t get out much, do you?”

Zeke
sighed.  “Sorry I asked,” he muttered.  “Okay – your turn.”

Manny
pondered, then asked slowly, “Have you ever been in love?  I mean, really in
love?”

“I
thought you said you weren’t going to ask questions about my personal life!”

“I’m
not asking if you’re in love now or for any details!  Besides,” she shrugged,
“I lied.  The van needs to be fixed and I could use all the extra cash I can
get.”

He
huffed a laugh as he shook his head.

“So?”
she asked.  “Have you ever been really in love?”

Zeke
frowned, then snapped, “Yes.”

Manny
waited.

“That’s
it?” she finally asked.

He
nodded tersely without looking at her.  “Yes.”

Manny
sighed, “You know, considering this is your game, I don’t think you really
get
the whole notion of sharing secrets.”

“Says
the woman who barely spoke to me for the first four days,” he replied drily.

“And
now I don’t shut up.”

“True.”

“So,
that’s all you’re going to say about that?”

“
Yes.”

Manny
shook her head.  “Okay, well, you did answer the question.  Your turn.”

“Have
you
ever been in love?  Really in love?” There was a sharpness to his
tone that had Manny curiously searching his frowning profile.

She
shook her head.  “No.”

“What
– never?”

“Never. 
And don’t give me that look,” she sighed, turning her face away from the
shocked pity in his eyes.

Zeke
flushed.  “I’m sorry – but don’t you – aren’t you – aren’t you lonely?”

Manny
considered the question as they walked. 

“Lonely?”
she repeated slowly, thoughtfully.  “Lonely.”  She shook her head.  “No.  But I
do sometimes get tired of living without...” she hesitated, searching for
words, “I sometimes get tired of living without strong emotion, of moving
through the days in shades of grey.”  She laughed slightly, “But then I talk to
Rebecca, or I hear about Daisy’s or Jaime’s failed marriages – and I count my
blessings.  Love is just too much like work.”

“
It’s worth it, though,”
Zeke assured her sincerely.

“Is
it? 
You
won’t even talk about it.”

They
walked in rather somber silence.

“
I was twenty,” Zeke
said slowly.  “She was...she was fascinating.  A gleam in her eyes and a bounce
in her step and she was just so...so hungry for life.  She was adventurous and
funny and smart and sexy and she...consumed me.  She was all I thought about,
all I wanted, all I needed.  I would have done anything for her.  I ended up
defying my father for her – my friends – I walked away from everyone.  For
her.”

Manny
watched him, her eyes clear and curious. 

“What
happened?” she asked quietly.

Zeke
shrugged, his eyes once more on the dirt road in front of his feet.  “She – uh
– she sent me back, like I was a child who’d run away from home.  And I never
saw her again.  I was just a fling, you see, something to do while the husband
she’d never mentioned was away, working for the summer.  I was her summer boy
toy -”

“Her
boy toy?”

He
nodded, flushing.  “She was forty.  She told me she loved me – until I actually
showed up, bag and baggage on her doorstep.”  He shook his head, a rueful
grimace on his face.  “I was very young and very stupid and very deeply in
love.” 

Manny’s
eyes were soft.  “Oh, Zeke...”

He
waved away her sympathy.  “Anyway, that’s why I don’t talk about it.”

Manny
bit her lip before asking, “What happened when you went home?  With your dad, I
mean.”

Zeke
hesitated, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans.  “I didn’t go
home.  I haven’t been home since.”

“What
– not once?” she demanded.

He
shook his head, refusing to meet her eyes.  “No, not once.  Oh, we exchange
stiff little notes every now and then, and a phone call every couple of
months.  He finally got a computer last year, so now we e-mail occasionally. 
God knows how long it takes him to type anything -”  He stopped abruptly,
pressing his lips tightly together and shaking his head.

“What
about your mom?”

“My
mom left when I was thirteen,” he replied coldly, his voice clipped.  “Last I
heard she was in Auckland with a couple of kids I’ve never met.”

Manny
gaped at him.  She opened her mouth to ask another question but he forestalled
her.

“I
don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Manny
looked at him sadly then nodded.  “I think I’m done with this game for a while,”
she said quietly.

“Yeah. 
Me, too.”

~~~~~

The
sun was directly overhead by the time Manny and Zeke made it to the centre of
the small town they’d identified on the map.  The town was like something out
of the wild west, with dusty streets and wooden sidewalks.  Main Street was all
of two blocks long jammed with small stores, most of which seemed closed for
the noon hour.  At the end of Main Street was a bar that had several pickup
trucks parked diagonally in front of it.  The bar sat next to what appeared to
be a paved road and Manny felt unreasonably relieved at that small sign of modern
civilization.

They
trudged down the middle of the street, with only the sounds of insects chirping
and their feet shuffling through the dirt to break the silence.  Otherwise,
there didn’t seem to be anyone moving in the noonday sun.  There wasn’t even a
dog barking.

“Did
the world end and we just don’t know it?” Zeke asked with a puzzled frown.

Manny
simply shook her head.

They
walked towards the small general store that at least had an “open” sign on the
door although they couldn’t tell if there was anyone actually inside.

Bells
attached to ribbons jingled as Zeke pushed open the door.  A twenty-something
woman sitting behind the counter glanced up from her magazine and blinked at
them.  Her eyes widened as she took in their dusty, sweaty appearance and the
naked relief on their faces.

“Good
heavens!” she exclaimed.

~~~~~

“You
guys ended up spending the night in the van?” Daisy said incredulously.

“Yeah,”
Manny sighed, sitting on the bed and gratefully toeing off her shoes.  She fell
back onto the mattress, dirt and sweat and all, with a blissful sigh.

“How
was it?”

“Surprisingly
comfortable.”

“
Manny!  That’s not what
I’m talking about and you know it!  Come on – spill!”

Manny
laughed. “There’s nothing to spill!”

“You
didn’t cop even one feel?”

“Daisy!”

“My
God – you really are a nun!”

“Thanks.”

“
Well, did the thought
at least cross your mind?  I mean, even once?”

Manny
bit her lip, then burst out, “Of course it did!  He’s freakin’ gorgeous!  And
he just gets better looking the more time I spend with him!  It’s awful!  But I
promised him his virtue was safe with me.  Plus, he still turns slightly green
whenever we mention me and sex in the same sentence.”

“Do
you have a crush on him?” Daisy asked with real interest.

Manny
thought about it, then said slowly, “No, I just like him.  It’s just too bad
that if I were to get lucky on this trip, I’d never be able to tell him.  If I
did, he might actually woof his cookies.”

“Ah,
fuck ’im if he can’t handle it.”

“I
can’t do that – he’d
definitely
woof his cookies then!”

Daisy
was startled into silence for a moment, then they both began to laugh so hard
tears ran down their cheeks.

“Thanks,
Manny,” Daisy finally sniffled breathlessly, wiping her eyes and nose.  “You
have no idea how much I needed that.”

“Well,
I had a five-hour walk today and now I’m sitting in a rather dingy motel room
across from a small-town bar.  I needed the laugh, too!”

They
chuckled, then, with a sigh, Manny said, “How are
you
doing, Daisy? 
Hub’s moving out on Monday, isn’t he?”

“Yes,”
Daisy said glumly.

“You
sound like you wish you could change your mind.”

“There’s
a part of me that does,” Daisy sighed.  “Twenty-one years of marriage,
twenty-four years together – all of it down the tubes, because...”

Manny
waited then gently prompted, “Because?”

“Because
– I don’t even know.  Because neither of us cared enough to keep it going, I
guess.”

“Oh,
Daisy,” Manny sighed softly.

“The
sad part is I never even knew we were in trouble.”

“Never?”
Manny asked skeptically.

“
What do you mean by
that?”  Daisy said, slightly defensive.

“
You were at the casino
every night rather than be at home with Hub.  That had to tell you something.”

Manny
listened to Daisy’s thoughtful silence before Daisy softly said, “Yeah.  Yeah,
it told me something.  I just didn’t want to hear what it was.”

“I’m
sorry.”

“I’ll
just be glad when he’s in his own place.  Right now, we’re sort of in limbo and
it’s tense and awkward.  It’s...a strange atmosphere.  Weird, you know?  I’ll
be glad when we’ve moved on to the next step.”

“Has
he told you anything about the other woman?” Manny asked delicately.

“Not
a word.  Of course, I also haven’t asked.  I’m assuming the affair is still
going strong.”

“
You haven’t asked?”

“
Hell, no!  Right now,
I’d simply end up screaming at him.  And I just – don’t feel like I can handle
hearing about how it’s all my fault and if I had only done
this
instead
of
that
and blah, blah, blah.  Not right now, anyway.  Honestly?  I
don’t think I’ll
ever
want to know about it.”

“
Can’t say I blame you,”
Manny sighed.  “Some things are just better left unknown.”

~~~~~

TJ
laughed almost continuously at Zeke’s description of the previous day and
night.

“But
you’re safe and sound,” he said comfortably once Zeke was finished.

“Oh,
yeah, although I’ve definitely been in nicer motels.”

“It’s
a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere – you’re lucky there’s anything
like a motel or hotel at all!”

“Yeah,
that’s what Manny said, too.  And it is spotlessly clean, just a little run
down.”

“
And you have a bed to
yourself,” TJ added slyly.

“
That, my friend, is an
excellent point,” Zeke agreed fervently.

“
Did you get
any
sleep last night?  I mean, it must have been pretty uncomfortable – for a lot
of reasons.”

Zeke
hesitated, remembering the night before.  He’d found it surprisingly comfortable,
and he’d forgotten how good it felt just to sleep beside another human being. 
Even one who snored.

“Once
I got her to move and she stopped snoring, I was out like a light,” he said now
to TJ.

He
didn’t mention how he’d carefully curled around her, to give her more room on
the bed, before he, too, fell asleep.  Or how he’d woken to find himself
snuggled against her back while she’d apparently instinctively moved away from
him and was almost plastered against the van’s wall.  But in that moment before
he’d been fully awake, he’d felt an incredible sense of peace settle over him
as he lay next to her.