A License to Wed: Rebellious Brides (17 page)

“No.” Panic filled her lungs. “I was going to tell you as soon as we reached Langtry. I swear it. You deserved to know.”

“Yes, I did. It was not your right to withhold this kind of information. What if something had happened to us along the road? I would have died without ever knowing I had a daughter. What if something had happened to you? I’d have watched Cosmo raising my daughter, never knowing she was mine.” Bitter anger seasoned the words. “You had no right.”

“You must understand.” She felt like she was falling off a cliff. “I was confused and afraid. Once I realized you’d never received my letters I knew I had to tell you.”

“You learned about the letters several days ago, and yet you continued to withhold the truth.”

“You said you didn’t want a family. I didn’t want to be a burden to you. I couldn’t bear the thought of knowing you felt forced into marrying me for honor’s sake.”

He stared at her, his features pinched with contempt. “And if I hadn’t wanted to marry you, then what? You would have let me unknowingly walk away from my own child, my blood?”

“No! Never.” The pressure of unshed tears pressed on her eyes. “I was going to tell you, in any event, once we reached Langtry. I swear it. Please believe me.”

“That’s just it. How can I possibly believe anything you say? I don’t even know who you are anymore. I cannot fathom ever being able to trust you again.” He turned to go. “Bolt the door after I leave.”

“Where are you going?” Panic filled her. “You’re not leaving.”

“I’ll return for you in the morning. At which time we shall take a carriage to Langtry to my daughter.”

“Don’t behave like this, Will.” She clutched his arm, feeling their future happiness evaporating like a puddle of water on a hot summer day. She had to make him understand. “Stay and talk to me. Let us resolve this.”

“Do you not understand the way of things? There is nothing to resolve.” He stared down at where her hand grasped his arm. “All these years I thought I wasn’t good enough. All these years I honestly believed I was beneath your touch.”

“No.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “You never were. Never.”

“In that, you are correct.” Pulling the door open, he shrugged off her arm. “Because it is you, my dear, who is beneath even a bastard’s touch.”

He had a daughter. Susanna was his.

Will poured the claret down his throat and slammed the earthenware tankard down with a hard thud. He peered over the rim of his drink, not really seeing the denizens crowding the inn’s smoky coffee room.

He and Elle had made a child. The idea of it caused a painful twinge in his chest. He was a father. His blood ran through Susanna’s veins…his and Elle’s.

His fingers tightened around the tankard. What a fool he’d been to allow her into his heart again. In return she’d fed him lies and orchestrated deceit of unfathomable depths.

The strangling sensation in his lungs was a pain he hadn’t felt since the day he learned she’d married another man. The evening’s revelations had resurrected memories he preferred to eviscerate from his mind, remembrances of when he’d raced to Aldridge House after his return from the continent, full of hope and expectation for the future, anxious to convince Elle to marry him, finally putting matters right between them.

The hackney pulled up before the Curzon Street address. Will dropped a few shillings into the driver’s open palm and quickly alighted, taking the front steps to the Palladian-style mansion two at a time.

He fervently hoped to find Elle at home. The last few weeks had cleared his mind. Their last parting had been cold and awkward; neither of them had spoken honestly about what was in their hearts. He was determined to do so today.

The butler invited him to wait in the drawing room while he summoned the young master. For what must have been the tenth time that day, Will patted the missive in his inside pocket, reassuring himself the special license he’d procured was still safely ensconced there. If Elle agreed, they could be wed within the week. He hoped she wouldn’t regret not having a grand ton affair at St. George’s in Hanover Square.

“Will, what a surprise,” Cosmo said as he strode in a few minutes later. “Where did you disappear to? You’ve been absent for weeks.”

“I beg your pardon, but important matters kept me away from Town.” The morning after her birthday celebration he’d departed Langtry at first light, bound for London to secure the special license. He’d planned to return immediately, but upon his arrival in London, his superior had sent him to attend to urgent matters in Brussels. “Unfortunately, the errand that was expected to last a fortnight stretched into almost three months.”

Cosmo poured them both a drink and handed one to Will. “It is deuced good to see you.”

“I trust your family is well?”

“Yes, very.”

“And Lady Elinor is enjoying her Season? I should like to pay my compliments if she is presently at home.”

Cosmo’s eyes widened. “You haven’t heard Ellie’s news?”

Anxiety darted into his lungs. “News?”

“As you predicted, the chit took the ton by storm this Season. But she didn’t reign for long.”

Dread trickled his spine. “I don’t take your meaning.”

“She entertained many suitors, but in the end proclaimed herself madly in love with Vicomte Rodolphe Laurent.”

The words struck him like a gut-punch. “I see.” Struggling to retain a bland expression, he removed his spectacles and used his kerchief to buff the lenses. “They are betrothed?” If so, he would stop it.

“They are well beyond that. They’ve married and removed to Paris.”

“Elle married?” He stared at Cosmo as the words sank in. “How is that possible? I’ve only been gone a few weeks.”

“That’s the apparent effect of true love.” Cosmo bottomed out his glass. “Elle herself proclaimed it to be a great love match, said she didn’t want to wait another day to become Laurent’s
vicomtesse
.”

Disbelief churned in his stomach. “He is well regarded, this
vicomte
of Elle’s?”

“He proved to be quite popular with the maidens, but naturally Elle was the one to bring him up to scratch.”

He carefully replaced his spectacles. “And he is…well appointed?”

“Rich as Croesus or so they say. Wealthy, handsome, and titled. Elle said he was everything a young lady desired in a man and she saw no reason to endure a lengthy engagement.”

He swallowed hard. “I see.”

“And Laurent readily agreed. Clearly he was anxious to exercise his husbandly rights.” Cosmo winced as he said those last words.

The thought of another man putting his hands on Elle made Will’s blood boil. He wanted to destroy every vase, every painting, and every piece of furniture in the damn room. Instead he said calmly, “Laurent must be quite extraordinary.”

“You shall see for yourself soon enough. They don’t plan to remain in Paris for long. The situation can be precarious for men of Laurent’s ilk now that France has abolished the nobility.” He rose to pour himself another drink and raised a glass in Will’s direction. “Can I get you another?”

Will shook his head. Elle gone and married. The moment she’d entered society, she’d done what he’d always expected: married a wealthy nobleman, a man of her own class. He felt as though his skin was being peeled away, leaving his innards bare and exposed, exquisitely sensitive to the smallest exposure to air.

“Will you stay for supper?” Cosmo’s voice sounded very far away. “I know Aldridge would love to see you. This old mausoleum is far too quiet with Elle gone.”

Elle gone. The words reverberated in his mind like cymbals clashing together. Gone and married. To a nobleman. Not a bastard.

Never a bastard.

She seemed like a different person to him now.

Elle sat across from Will in the hired coach that would take them to Langtry. She was pale-faced with red-rimmed silver eyes, which held none of their usual laughing spontaneity.

The Elle he’d known since girlhood was gone forever. Before, he’d assumed her negligent, careless, maybe even spoiled. But that laughing carefree girl would have never concealed such a devastating truth. He couldn’t imagine loving this version of Elle. One who’d considered denying him the right to know of his child’s existence. What kind of person could perpetrate such an enormous mistruth and live with it for years?

He was different too. Being a father changed his sense of who he was, of where he fit in the world. For the first time in his memory, he felt unsure of himself. It was still hard to digest that Susanna was his. His heart seemed to expand when he thought of the vivacious moppet with a sly gaze and her mother’s lively appeal.

Elle’s voice cut into his thoughts. “Will you leave for London as soon as you deliver me to Langtry?”

He looked at her, holding herself erect and proud despite her pallor and the obvious emotional distress vibrating beneath her composed exterior. “And abandon my daughter?” The words seethed with anger. “I do not think so.”

She flinched—ever so slightly—at his contemptuous tone. “I only meant because you have Duret’s package and are keen to deliver it.”

“My plans have changed.” When they’d reached Salcombe, he’d received word that his superior, Ogilvie, the person into whose hands he was to deliver the package, was visiting friends in a nearby county and would meet Will at Langtry at his earliest convenience, possibly on the morrow.

“This is what’s going to occur.” His tone was emotionless. “Once we reach Langtry and this business of Duret’s package is at an end, we will marry and provide my daughter with the family she deserves.”

Her eyes widened. Although why she should be surprised, he could not imagine. “But you hate me now,” she said softly. “How can you even contemplate a marriage between us?”

“This is no longer about our whims,” he said. “What we want has no bearing. We have a child, and we must think of her first.”

“Do you think it is best for her to see the deep disdain with which her father regards her mother?”

He exhaled loudly through his nostrils. “I shan’t burden you overmuch with my presence. My work will take me away for long periods of time. I trust we can behave in a civil manner when I am in residence.”

They sat in silence, listening to the rolling clatter of the wheels and the horses’ rhythmic gait as their hooves struck the ground.

After a few minutes, she took a deep breath and cleared her throat. “I am sorry to have wronged you.” The words were strong, determined. “But I have passed the last five years being told where I could go and what I could do, and I do not intend to live that way again.”

Disbelief rose in him. “You would deny me my child?”

She set her jaw. “I will not enter into a marriage borne of contempt.”

He leaned forward. “I could take my daughter,” he said angrily. “By law, children belong to their father.”

Her face went white. “You would take her from me? When I have just found her again?”

“At least you knew our child existed, that she had been born. I knew nothing thanks to you.”

She drew a long, deep breath. “I will not apologize again. I tried to tell you that I was with child. My condition was becoming increasingly noticeable, but you had disappeared.”

He gritted his teeth. “I was called away on an important assignment.”

“Did you never wonder whether there were any repercussions from the night we shared?” Her fingers clenched and unclenched in her skirt as her voice rose. “I was an innocent. Was it not your duty to ensure I was not ruined beyond all repair?”

He felt a sharp tug of guilt. “I offered marriage.”

“Know this.” She swallowed hard, the chords of her neck sliding under porcelain skin. “I will never let you take her from me.”

“I am her father.” The words were deadly quiet. “It is my right.”

“By law, you are not her sire.” Determination blazed in her silvery eyes. “You have no claim on her at all. My father is a powerful peer. He will not allow you to take her.”

Bitterness burned its way into his throat. He would never be free of his low birth. “So that is the way of it.” He gave a harsh laugh. “I am just a lowly bastard, now as always.”

She flushed. “I did not mean—”

He waived off the words with his hand. “Do not apologize. That is perhaps the truest sentiment you’ve ever shared with me.”

Dismay darkened her face. “If that is what you believe, then all is truly lost between us.”

“Be that as it may,” he said icily, “we will marry and give my daughter the family she deserves. You’d best accustom yourself to the notion.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “And what kind of marriage will it be?” she said heatedly. “One in name only?”

“If that is what you wish.”

She regarded him warily. “Do you intend to keep seeing your innkeeper’s widow?”

“I suppose that depends upon you.” He allowed his gaze to run down the length of her body. “A man has certain physical needs. I can either slake them with my wife or with another. Either way, it will merely be a physical transaction. Nothing more.”

She gave an indelicate snort. “Maybe if you keep telling yourself that Banbury Tale, you might actually come to believe it.” Then she turned her attention away from him to look out the window for the remainder of the journey.

Not even the painful business with Will could dampen Elle’s excitement when she saw Langtry again for the first time in six years. The view of the three-level manor with ivy spreading over its façade filled her with quiet joy and contentment. Home. She pulled on the ribbon that opened the carriage window, leaning her head out to inhale the salty scent of the ocean just beyond the cliffs. She gazed at the sand-colored Georgian manor as they drew closer. This had always been her favorite place in the world. Knowing her daughter was somewhere within its safe confines made it even more so.

Will surveyed the scene ahead of them, his voice polite but distant. “It appears rather deserted.”

“It is no wonder, really,” she said, unable to tear her gaze away from the manor house. “Besides Mr. and Mrs. Godfrey, there are only two other servants.” Will had mentioned that Cosmo and his wife were on a delayed wedding trip. Only Aldridge, Susanna, and her nurse could be expected to be in residence, along with the handful of servants.

The post-chaise came to a stop in front of the manor and she threw open the door and alighted on her own, without waiting for the coachman. She was bounding up the front stairs before Will had a chance to disembark.

“Elinor,” he called urgently. “Wait.”

“I’ve waited long enough already.” She pushed open the front door, knowing it was rarely locked and charged headfirst into the front hallway. “Papa! Papa!” Her voice echoed into the silence. She ran across the parquet floor down the corridor to the study near the back of the house where her father spent most of his time.

“Elle.” Will’s words were sharp behind her. “Stop, something is very wrong.”

But she’d already reached her father’s private enclave and burst inside, anxious to see Aldridge after so many years. Perhaps Susanna would be with him. She halted in the middle of the empty room and breathed in the familiar scent of leather and books. The fading Aubusson carpet and gothic, glass-fronted bookcases were just as she remembered them. The sight of her father’s familiar chess table in its usual place by the window made her eyes sting. Her gaze went to an old portrait of her in a white muslin gown, painted the year before she married, hanging behind her father’s stately rosewood desk.

She stilled and her scalp tingled. Will was right. The house was too quiet.

Behind her, the sound of cracking knuckles shattered the silence.