A Lady of High Regard (33 page)

“So do you think that’s what God wants me to do in this? Confess my love to him?”

“Mia, I think God would want you to trust Him—to believe that whatever happens, He has already seen the future for you and has good things in store. He loves you, child. He loves you as no human being will ever love you—not even your mother and father.”

“I believe that. I’ve tried to commit my ways to Him, although I have been willful on occasion—and disobedient. But, Pastor Brunswick, I truly want to be obedient to God. I’ve known the misery that comes out of choosing my own way. I don’t want this situation to be just another time where I demanded my own way.”

“Then don’t let it be,” he encouraged. “Pray about the matter and seek His guidance. God gives freely. He won’t desert you when you seek Him.”

Upon her arrival home, Mia was greeted by Jason, who assisted her from the buggy. “Miss Mia,” he said, “have you heard the news?”

“What news?”

Jason’s cheeks flushed red. “Ruth and I were married today. Your father gave us the morning off.”

“Oh, I wish I had known. I wanted to do something special for you.”

“You’ve already done plenty for us—just helping us to admit our feelings for each other.” He looked to the ground. “I just wanted to say thank-you.”

“You are most welcome,” Mia replied. “I’m very glad that the match suited you both.”

“We won’t forget your kindness to us, Miss Mia.”

“You sound as if you are leaving us.”

“I . . . I had wanted . . . ah . . . Ruth to share the news,” he stammered uncomfortably.

Mia couldn’t imagine what the fuss was all about. “Why not tell me yourself?”

He looked up and drew a deep breath. “We’ll soon be taking our savings and going west. I want to start my own horse farm. Your father says he’ll give us a fine broodmare to get us started.”

“Why, Jason, that’s marvelous. I’m so happy for you both. Of course I shall miss you, but this is wonderful news.” Mia couldn’t be sad in light of such a joyous occasion. “I will speak to Ruth later and see how I might help.”

“Oh no.” He shook his head. “You’ve helped enough, Miss Mia. Your family has been most generous. We couldn’t expect anything more.”

She smiled. “We shall see. I’m a very determined woman, as you’ve come to learn.”

Later that evening, Mia watched as the sun was dimming in the west, leaving shadows dancing as the trees swayed in the garden. The fanned branches of the bender oak and yellow buckeye trees were bathed in shades of green, gold, orange, and red, their leaves preparing to rain down upon the now dying flower beds. Here and there a few late roses could still be found blooming, but to Mia it seemed the end had come. She pulled her shawl closer.

Autumn always reminded her of death. She sat in the stillness of the garden and thought about the future. Were her dreams dying, even as the vegetation around her was?

But the trees and flowers weren’t dying; they were merely going to sleep for the winter. Perhaps her heart would do the same.

“Would you mind some company?”

Mia felt her heart nearly stop at the sound of Garrett’s voice. She looked up to find him watching her from the garden gate.

“Are you still speaking to me?” she asked with a forced smile.

“After my uncalled for behavior, I would have thought you’d given up on me.”

“I might have said the same. Am I forgiven?”

She sighed. “Garrett, there is nothing to forgive. I am the one who acted abominably. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

He passed through the open gate and came to where she sat. Mia tried to forget about her declaration to him, hoping it had faded from his memory in light of his new romance with Eulalee.

As he sat in the chair opposite her, Mia thought he’d never looked more handsome. She tried to still her nerves, but found it impossible. He was all that she dreamed of—all that she could ever hope to want in a husband.

“Mia, I’m really sorry for the way I behaved. I was just so frightened for you. If someone had caused you harm, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself.”

“But why? You would not be to blame. I made bad choices; I readily admit that now. I thought that because I was doing a noble deed, there could come no harm. I was unwise, and I’ve aged enough in the last few days to realize it.”

“You said some things—”

Mia trembled and let her shawl fall away. “Please don’t remind me.”

Garrett frowned. “I think it important that we talk. There are some things I need to explain—to say to you. Before it’s too late.”

CHAPTER 26

G
arrett could see the apprehension in Mia’s expression. He longed to put her heart at ease—to tell her of his love for her, but he wanted to say everything just right.

“Mia, you know that I have cared for you for a very long time. Since you were a little girl, you’ve held a special place in my heart. There was always something so special about you—about our friendship.”

He leaned forward and reached for her gloved hands. “We’ve been friends for so long that I think we’ve overlooked some of the most important things.”

“What things?” Mia asked.

“Perhaps one of the most important is that we tend to take our relationship for granted. What we have is quite different from what we share with anyone else, wouldn’t you agree?”

Mia’s brows knit together, as if she were thinking hard on the question. “It is special,” she finally said. “More special than I realized.”

Garrett nodded. “I feel the same. That’s just one of the things I’ve come to understand. I don’t want to lose you, Mia.”

“You’ll never lose me,” she whispered. “Even if you go far away.”

“You’ve convinced me with your matchmaking that no matter where I go, I should not be alone.”

“I doubt you’ll ever be alone, Garrett. You’re far too charming a companion.” Her tone seemed to change from serious to lighthearted. “You will win friends anywhere you settle.”

“But this is more than that. As I told you . . . well, I tried to tell you . . . you’ve convinced me to take a wife.”

“Garrett, you should take a wife,” she said with such resignation that Garrett was momentarily taken aback. “You will make a wonderful husband. You are a good listener and a compassionate person, despite the things of which I’ve accused you.”

“Mia, I want—”

“No, please hear me out. I know I’ve said things that might have seemed . . . well . . . awkward and out of place. I never meant to cause you discomfort or the need to explain yourself to me.”

“You don’t understand, Mia.”

“Mr. Garrett!”

The Wilson family’s cook was standing at the gate. “What’s wrong?” He got to his feet and started toward the woman.

“It’s your father. Your stepmother said to come quickly. She thinks he’s about to pass.”

“Oh, Garrett, I’m so sorry,” Mia said. She came to his side and gently touched his arm. “I’ll go tell Father.”

He reached out and took hold of her arm. “I . . . Mia . . . please understand . . .” He felt frantic to tell her the truth of his heart, but he wanted the moment to be perfect. He wanted to be on bended knee before her—he wanted to speak beautiful words of love.

“Go to him,” she urged. “We can talk later. I know what you want to tell me, and I’ll happily hear it when you get back.”

He relaxed a bit and smiled. Maybe she did understand. Reaching up, he put his hand to her cheek. “You are very dear to me.”

“And you to me. Now go. I’ll let my father know what’s happening.”

Mia felt the warmth of Garrett’s hand on her face even after he’d gone. With little light left in the garden, Mia quickly made her way to the house. The warm glow from the kitchen comforted her as the chill of death seemed to settle over the night.

“Poor Mercy.” Mia felt sorry for the woman who’d shown her so much kindness. And what of the children? They would be heartbroken at the loss of their father.

Remembering the shawl she’d left on the bench, Mia hurried back through the garden to retrieve it. The wind picked up and though it was not all that cold, it chilled Mia to the bone as she reached the bench. The darkness seemed to close in around her. Even the carriage house lights seemed muted and distant.

A strange sensation worked its way over her body, reminding her of the time she was accosted near the docks.

She picked up the shawl and started back to the house with quickened steps. Just then a figure stepped in front of her.

“Why in such a hurry, Miss Stanley?” he asked as Mia stepped back. “You do recognize me, don’t you? For I most certainly know you. You and your mettlesome ways.”

Mia shuddered, placing the voice. “Mr. Barrill.”

“Exactly. I’m glad to see you have not forgotten me, for I most assuredly have not forgotten you. I have come to exact my payment for the harm you have caused me.” In one fell swoop he was upon her, pressing his hand against her mouth.

Mia dropped the shawl as she fought to pull Barrill’s hand away. She couldn’t even draw a decent breath. Then she realized that was exactly what he meant to do. He was smothering her, pulling her tighter and tighter against him—making it impossible to breathe.

He’s killing me.
The thought registered in her mind as thick blackness clouded her reasoning and ability to fight.

A rushing sense of heat rose against Mia’s cheeks and up the side of her face. She knew she was dying as her lungs continued to be denied air. Her last conscious thought was that she and George Wilson would die the same night—in the same hour.

Garrett sat beside his father as the unconscious man struggled to draw a breath. He took hold of his father’s hand, grateful that Mercy had given him a few minutes alone while she went to get the girls.

“You have always been a good father and husband,” Garrett said, hoping his father could hear the words. “You have cherished the truth and revered God all of your life, Father, and now you will go to your reward.”

The warm glow of golden lamplight illuminated the peaceful expression on his father’s face. It didn’t appear that he was in any pain. For this, Garrett was grateful. The poor man had suffered enough.

Mercy returned with Agnes and Bliss in tow. Bliss immediately ran for Garrett’s arms, while Agnes clung to her mother.