A Kingpin Love Affair (10 page)

Jared

The lights inside
the bar blinded me, reminding me more and more why I shouldn’t be drinking, I told myself as I brought the beer to my lips. Her dark locks of hair in my mind. Her eyes were full of pleasure as she sank her teeth into her bottom lip.

Shaking my head, I forced the image of her away. What was the point of leaving and coming here if I had continued to think about her after I was gone? She was fucking with my head, crawling under my skin, and embedding herself deep inside of me.

“Another?” The blonde behind the bar asked, signaling toward my beer. I tipped my chin up at her letting her know I would, in fact, take another.

“What the fuck is up with you?” I rolled my eyes. I knew that voice and I knew what it brought.
A fucking headache.

“Nothing is up with me. I’m simply having a beer after a long, strenuous day of work.” Alzerro took the seat next to me, a beer sitting in front of him before I could turn to face him. One look at him told me he needed a drink more than I did. His hair was a mess, his eyes creased in worry.

He laughed low, his voice darker than usual. “You working? Really? I have yet to see a day where you were actually working.” I clenched my fist reminding myself of how rude it truly was to punch your best friend slash brother-in-law in the face, even if he did deserve it.
Once an asshole, always an asshole.

“Isabella is a lot more work than you told me she would be.” I cursed myself the moment the words left my mouth. I had all but opened the door to a conversation about Isabella and me. Even more, I had opened up the chance to discuss my feelings. He tipped his beer back, a smile curving around the top of the bottle.

“Doesn’t matter what kind of woman they are. A woman, in general, is more work than just some easy lay.” Of course, he was speaking from experience. He was married to my sister after all.

“At least Bree isn’t being chased by the Russian Mafia and forced to live with a man who is unstable, and unavailable in every emotional sense.” Fuck! I had to be drinking something stronger than beer. There was no way I was having a deep conversation so open and freely with him.

“I think you have forgotten about the past. If I’m not mistaken, Bree once found herself in the home of a Mafia King with no way out.” He nudged my shoulder causing me to smile without cause.

“Oh, no. I remember the big ole mean Mafia King you used to be. That’s beside the point though. Isabella deserves better living conditions.” There was no way I was going to tell him she was causing me to feel things—things I had never felt in my life. That she was slowly worming her way into my mind and body, and eventually, she would end up in my soul, too. I could feel myself grow weaker for her touch every single day.

“I know the last three years I have been hard on you, wanting you to be the person I grew up with, so much so that every time I called or came over, I ended up telling you to get your shit together instead of giving you actual advice. But I want to tell you something, something that has changed how I look at things over the years. Something that turned me from that person, the Mafia King, who didn’t give two fucks who’s blood he spilled, into just Alzerro King.” I wanted to roll my eyes and tell him to shut up, but instead, I stopped myself wondering what kind of advice he wanted to give me. Then he opened his mouth and something I had never heard came out.

“Fear is only what you make of it. What you fear isn’t really something you’re scared of, but something you think you are afraid of. Imagine everything you have ever wanted in your life is on the other side of that fear... What are you going to do to get to it? Conquer that fear or risk the chance of losing everything—of losing
her
?” My eyes grew wide, the air in my chest evaporated, and my heartbeat accelerated. I could feel the desire to flee taking over.

“Don’t even think about it.” His hand landed heavily on my shoulder, keeping me in place.
Grounding me.

“I can’t be at risk of losing something that was never mine,” I growled. Being alone was always for the best when it came to me. It was easier to hide the pain than to face it head on.

“She was yours the moment I told you to protect her. I saw the look in your eyes, Jared. Lie to yourself, to her, but you can’t lie to me because I see in you what I once felt within myself. The desire to be healed. I don’t know what you’re battling deep down inside of yourself, but I promise you if you open yourself up, she’ll be the one to heal you.” Misery, suffering, and rage were what I was battling deep within me. I was broken, the pain killing me slowly.

“I don’t want your advice. I don’t want to be told how to love someone. I just want to be left the fuck alone.” I threw a twenty down on the bar and got my keys out of my pocket. Being home with Isabella might cause a thousand and one emotions to flow through me, but listening to Zerro talk about ways to heal my nonexistent heart was pissing me off far more than that.

“You’re welcome.” He threw the remark over his shoulder as I headed toward the bar entrance. Forcing myself outside and away from him, I drank in the night, allowing deep breaths of air to filter into my lungs. My head was a mess, my body begging me to give it things it desired.

Jumping on my bike, I started it and revved the engine allowing the noise to fill me.
You got this. You know what’s best for you, not anyone else.
Zooming off like a bat out of hell, I headed home weaving in and out of traffic as I went. Five minutes later, I pulled into my driveway. All the lights in the house were off and there was no music blaring from inside like last time. This time, there was only quietness and peace, both things settling deep into my bones.

I cut the engine and then hopped off my bike, walking to the front door. My hand gripped the metal door handle tightly. It was cold and solid, bringing me back to the present. I reached in my pocket, removing my key and unlocking the door. With a twist of the knob, I entered the house only to discover it looked as if no one was here. My heart ached, a twisting feeling growing in my belly.
What if she left?

Something told me there would be no coming back from that. I might have been trying to push her away, to make her see I had nothing to offer, but pushing her as far as making her leave was never my intention. Did I push her too far this time? The twisting in my stomach grew more and more as I walked around the house. Nothing was out of place, yet the walls held an alarming eerie quietness to them.

Whipping my jacket off, I headed toward her room, my booted feet heavy against the wood floor.
I have to know,
I thought as I came to a halt at her door. It was slightly opened, but no sounds of peaceful slumber could be heard through it.

Lifting my hand unsteadily, I pushed it open the rest of the way. My eyes landing on her empty bed. It was made, sheets pulled up, and it looked as if no one had even attempted to lay in it.

“Fuck!” I said loudly, slamming my fist into the wall.
Fuck.
Had I really pushed the only good thing to happen in my life away? My feet pounded back down the hallway toward my bedroom. Rage surged through my veins as I all but knocked the bedroom door open, barely noticing the sleeping form in my bed. The blankets were pulled up to her shoulders and she was curled into herself.

She stirred slightly, and I cursed myself for being such a reckless asshole. I had failed to check the entire house before slamming shit around, before making a rash decision to do something stupid. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I removed my boots and clothes. Once just in my boxers, I pulled the covers back, my cock growing hard with every slip of the fabric off her skin. My eyes lingered on her bare back and then down where I found a shapely ass that was, in fact, naked.
Fucking Christ.

I gripped my hair hard. She was playing games with me—fucking with my head and messing with my heart. This was no longer the game of who could push who harder, no—now we’re on the verge of dangerous territory. She wanted to give herself to me, or at least it seemed that way. Instead of crawling into bed with her and sliding between her warm thighs, I walked to the other side of the bed, shaking her softly. Her eyes popped open immediately, they, of course, were heavy with sleep, but there was something more underneath. The look was smoldering, devouring even as if she would do whatever she could to get a taste of me.

I was done denying my body what it wanted most when it came to her. She wanted to play with fire. I smiled to myself as the devil himself.

Then she best be ready to get burnt.

Isabella

My eyes popped
open as a hand rubbed against my shoulder. I wanted to moan but pushed the desire away. Darkness shadowed the room, and as my eyes adjusted to the light, I realized Jared was standing before me. He was naked, his boxers gone, his cock pointing straight at me.

“You have been pushing your luck, Isabella. Pushing me mentally, emotionally, and now physically.” He spoke the words with force as if he were on edge. I wanted to smile, simply because I knew this would be the last straw for him.
He would break at the will of my touch.

His finger skimmed over my skin, and I heaved a breath in as I lay there exposing myself to his wickedness.

Jared stared at me for a few long moments, his eyes gliding up and down my body numerous times. I felt like he was taking a mental picture of me with every swipe of his eyes.

“You’re much more beautiful than I had ever thought you would be.” His voice was deep, sending a tremble through my entire body.

“I want you. I don’t want to fight this anymore.” My words were final. I knew I would never take them back because I saw something inside of him I felt every day inside of myself. I might not love Jared right now, but I cared deeply for him and given the opportunity, I could love him one day. Possibly, if we both allowed ourselves to give and accept that love.

His eyes darkened, his fists clenching and unclenching. He was fighting it, fighting me.

Sitting up, I pushed myself off the mattress and crawled to the edge of the bed on my hands and knees. His cock was jutting forward, stiff and ready for me causing my core to pulsate with dark desires.

“So what’s your move?” he asked, his cockiness dripping off him in waves. I had never willingly bared myself before, yet my confidence was through the roof.

“Bringing you to your knees.” I smiled gripping his thickness in my hand. My tongue flicked out wetting my lips. The hardness of it frightened me but did nothing to inhibit me from moving forward. To have him inside of me thrusting, it fueled my need, turning it into an unbridled passion.

“No…” He growled but made no move to pull away. I waited a moment and then another before leaning in closer and licking the tip. It was smooth like velvet, soft against my tongue. Maintaining my grip, I sucked him in and out of my mouth slowly, only taking what I could handle. After all, I was no pro at this.

   “Fuck…” The raspiness of his voice vibrated through me as I smiled against his cock. Before I could take him back in, it was as if something in him snapped. In a blink of an eye, I was pinned to the mattress on my stomach while my hips were being gripped and pulled to the edge of the bed.

“I have thought about eating the fuck out of this pussy since the first day I met you. I wondered if it would glisten just for me…” he trailed off as his finger glided up my inner thigh, stopping at my entrance briefly before entering me slowly. I could feel his warm breath against my bare flesh and then he was burying his face into my center as he sucked my clit into his mouth.

“Ahhh…” The moan slipped past my lips with ease, my body filling with emotions I had never felt before. Every touch of his lips and flick of his tongue against me, each suck and push of his finger heated me from the inside out with a tingling sensation that was building deep within me.

“Come. Come for me.” His voice was animalistic giving me the last push I needed to fall off that cliff. A shiver ran through my body as an array of lights formed behind my lids. I felt as if I could feel everything at a heightened rate, my body still exploding as Jared’s lips slid against the skin on my back.

“I’ve tried fighting it. Tried pushing you away but I can’t anymore. I can’t keep fighting against whatever this is that is taking place between us. Every time I say no, the universe finds a way to push us back together...” I understood his emotions and it was at that moment I realized I didn’t want to save him. It had never really been about saving. It was about making him whole again, about picking up those lingering pieces of heart and putting them back together, about opening up those old wounds and burying myself deep within them.

I was being carried away by my own emotions, feelings swarming at every angle.

“I want you,” I whispered, pushing back against him. I didn’t care that it was my first time. All my inhibitions were running wild. All I cared about was I was here at this moment with Jared and it would be him bringing me pleasure with each slam of his hips on my own.

“Good,” he stated, his voice coming out wicked. “I didn’t ever want you to see this side of me.” He flipped me over so I was on my back in the center of the mattress. Then he leaned over me, the muscles of his body taut and tight as they strained against his flesh.

“I want to see all the different sides of you, the dark, the light, the sides you never want to show people. I want, too,” I confessed, not realizing I had done so out loud until he spoke again.

“We’ll see if you still feel that way and want to stay after I’m done with you.” There was a warning to his words as if he expected me to walk away after all of this was said and done. I smiled letting him know his scare tactic hadn’t worked. I still wanted him, if not more now than before.

I watched intently as he reached over to the nightstand that sat by the side of the bed. I could hear him rummaging around but stayed still, the anticipation of the unknown causing worries to run rampant through my mind.

“Lift your hands and place them on the bed railing.” I did as I was told, his tone causing me to shiver. Jared was unable to control what we felt for one another. He commanding me right now was his way of regaining that control back. A red rope appeared in his hands and my stomach fell.
Was he going to tie me up?

“Don’t look at me like I’m going to hurt you. I would never hurt you,” he whispered into my ear wrapping the silk around my wrists and securing me against the bars. Every rub of the fabric against my skin heightened my senses as the softness of it mixed with the hardness of Jared rubbed across my chest and belly.

“Please...” I begged and pleaded, my eyes bleeding into his. His fingers trailed down my chest and between my breasts, his fingers grazing my nipples as he passed them. He was taking his sweet time with me, savoring every touch as if it would be his last.

“Doing this…” His hands gripped my thighs as he centered himself at my entrance, “changes nothing between us.” I could feel him pressing against me and my insides quivered in every way possible. I didn’t care about the words he was saying because I knew they weren’t true. He was trying to protect himself, and I would let him think as he did for a short time.

“Do you understand?” His words were tense, and I shook my head yes, all while knowing this changed everything. Sex changed everything for me.

With his hands on my hips and his eyes locked on mine, he entered me as slow as humanly possible. I watched his body quiver with restraint as he tried to control himself.

Pain filled my belly, causing my hands to lock up and my body to tremble uncontrollably. Without thought, I squeezed my legs together as if I could make the pain go away while clamping my mouth to close in hopes no sounds would leave my lips.

“You didn’t tell me…” He growled, pulling out and pushing back into me as tenderly as possible. The push caused more pain to radiate throughout my limbs, causing the softest whimper to fill the air. Unable to handle the sting of him pushing past my barrier and the emotions surging through me, I turned my face away from him. Shame was riddling me, pushing the happiness away. His hand reached up, cupping my cheek so I had no other choice but to look at him.

“You should’ve told me.” He pulled out and re-entered me slowly, causing a whimper to escape my lips. His mouth descended downwards, swallowing my moans as his own. In that kiss, there was so much passion, so many secrets, so much love, yet so much hurt. In that kiss, I had every answer I ever needed. Jared might have been struggling with processing his feelings for me, but all I needed was this. When he kissed me, it wasn’t he kissing my lips, but him leaving an indent upon my soul.

With soft and subtle strokes, the pain subsided and in its place pleasure bloomed. His hands painted a picture against my skin that only we could understand. His lips devoured me, speaking to me without a single word. His body spoke the things he could never say.

My panting breaths mixed with his groans filled the air, causing my libido to go through the roof. Every slick inch of him could be felt in my womb. Our bodies mingled together, the slaps of our skin hitting one another were a song of pure pleasure.

He mended the broken pieces of me while I held us together like glue.

“Angel….” he said, placing a feather light kiss against my forehead. I could feel him pulsing inside of me and then a drop of wetness fell from his eye landing against my skin. In that one drop was his will to hold onto the past—he was letting it go.

As he came, he filled me with happiness, love—but most of all self-worth. I may have been promised to another man, bought and traded against my will, but I would never regret meeting Jared.

“Thank you,” I said aloud, wanting him to know him taking this part of me made me eternally grateful. He had no idea the power he held over me.

“No. It’s I who is grateful. You pushed me to my limit. Forced me to feel again and for that I am forever grateful.” I smiled just as he pulled out of me and rolled over to lie down beside me. He tucked me into his chest with his palm placed against my skin. The warmth of his flesh against mine calmed my roaring emotions.

His arms trembled around me as he held us together, binding us as one being. Jared was the one thing I had always wanted. He was that thing on the other side of my fear. He gave me that chance to open up, to be loved and cared for, and I in turn, took his hate and wove it into a love story so deep and true.

He had imprinted himself upon my heart.