A Is for Alpha Male (30 page)

I would have paid big money for some of Kristen Ashley’s fictitious Adela tea, for real.

Danny pulled out of me, causing an immediate void in both my body and my heart. But he didn’t make it last long.

He spun me around, gently pushed me up against the tiled wall of the shower, and lifted me by the back of my thighs, wrapping my calves around his back and linking them just before sinking into me with his usual deliciously unhurried pace.

“Haley,” he grunted, pulling out to just the tip and sinking in slowly again, his desperate eyes locked onto mine and his lips just skimming their female counterpart.

“Danny,” I answered, thinking for the fifth time in less than twenty-four hours that I’d never heard a better name, and then fell over the metaphorical cliff, stretching out straight and executing perfect form on my journey down to the Sea of Orgasms.

The water temperature was just right, and I planned on taking as many dips, swims, and dives as I could in the next few days.

BLINDED BY THE haze of my blissful happiness (read: ignorance), I made a cataclysmically stupid decision.

One I wished I could take back or relive on so many levels.

Danny had kept my orgasms, stomach, and adrenaline topped up to bursting for three out-of-this-world days. He even brought me Oreos in bed.

Um, hello. There was only one thing that could describe how I felt about that behavior.

Soul mates
.

At the end of Day Three, we decided it was time to have a discussion and make some decisions.

Where was this going, and what were we hoping for?

What were we willing to compromise, sacrifice, or change around to have it?

Logistically we lived in two different cities, all in all living completely separate lives.

I expected to have to make some tough decisions, maybe even choose between staying close to my family and living out the possibility of a happily ever after with Danny.

But once again, Danny made it easy, fully committing to move his life and give up his ties, moving to Knoxville to try a life with me.

I knew it was a step that was necessary if we wanted to pursue a relationship, but his selflessness blew me away, as he committed to the move and altogether lifestyle change with no reservations and no resentment.

Danny knew I needed to get back and at least pretend to work eventually, and resolute with his new plan, he claimed he needed to get on with getting his affairs in order for the move.

And that while I was there, I was a distraction.

I was so low key, I had no idea how that was possible.

We were going to get lost in each other for one more night, making love until our bodies wouldn’t allow it anymore and then cuddling in our sleep, his warm, bare thigh cradled between my legs and my face tucked into his chest. As we had learned the last few days, we slept so close it was like we were practically trying to inhale each other while we did it.

As for the timing of his move, he would follow as soon as he could, in one or two weeks maximum.

We had it all planned out.

And I had followed the plan, getting a perfect, fifteen minute long goodbye kiss from Danny, climbing into my car, and heading for home.

But fifteen minutes into the drive, I had changed my mind, turning around and heading straight for the beach, thinking that one last day soaking up the sun and one last night with Danny was the way to go.

I wanted another night of being wrapped around him like a vine. Another night of taking him in through each and every one of my senses.

It had taken us too long to get here, Danny’s pushing me away costing us time and forcing me to feel needy for his affection.

Sure, he claimed to have his reasons, but that didn’t stop me from placing the blame squarely on his shoulders and playfully rubbing it in every chance I got.

“This clinginess is all your fault,” I had said. “You selfishly pushed me away, making me needier and far more desperate than I would have been. And Zack Morris could have ruptured my breasts. I hope you know that. Then what would you have played with?” Danny just laughed it off. Well, all except for the mention of another guy feeling me up. No, that part didn’t go over all that well at all.

So in keeping with my new plan, the one Danny had no clue about, wasn’t on board with, and I was spending my time actively covering up, lying to him every time he called to check in on me, I headed for the beach.

Yeah, I should have known right then that it wasn’t a good plan. Haley Whitfield and lies didn’t mix.

I spent one last day getting a golden tan that I hoped would last me through the month of August, rented a hotel room just for the purpose of showering and getting ready, and headed off to The Cabin to surprise him with one more night of ribbing, gabbing, lovemaking, and cuddling before I was faced with a lengthy separation.

It should have been awesome.

I was so excited to see Danny. I had seen him that very morning, but I already missed the way the light reflected off of his scruff and out of his eyes and the way his dimples settled deep into his face when he smiled.

I wanted to take a big old whiff of him and secretly snuggle my face into his hard chest.

Okay, maybe it was the whiffing part that was a big secret.

I wanted those things so badly that I let my blissful bubble ruin my reality.

Confident and smiling, I pulled into the parking lot at the bar, swung my legs out of the car with the grace of a gazelle, turned back and shut my door with fanciness reminiscent of a choreographed music video in the 80s, and then strutted my ass to the door, using my years of swaying practice to make it look just right.

Opening the door with a tug (and a shove to the side for good measure), I stepped through to the other side and let my eyes immediately start scanning the bar for my man.

Holy hell, I had a man.

That was a new one.

He wasn’t directly behind it, so I searched all around it, my eyes skittering right over him a few times before my brain worked out what it was seeing.

That was because Danny, my Dan-o, the Dan Fucking Smith of my dreams, was standing just on this side of the bar with a trashy looking blond woman in his arms, and his hands were splayed on her miniskirt clad ass.

Hands that had been stretched to their full birth on
my
ass just this morning.

Cue the soundtrack of glass panes shattering, car accident screeching, and alley cats fighting.

Okay, maybe not the alley cats, but the other two...definitely.

My heart
broke
. Cracked right down the middle and fell open in shambles. Letting Allison attempt to cut it out with a napkin was sounding really good right about now.

I was a strong woman, something that might mislead one to think I wouldn’t blink at this, but I wasn’t made of effing armor. And Danny and I hadn’t known each other that long, just making the real commitment to be together last night, but none of that stopped the swing of the axe that split my heart open.

Oh, and one more little thing...I was in love with him.

Stupid as that may have been, it was true. The thing about love is that it doesn’t know all of the obstacles our mind likes to create. Time, distance, and practicality.

I had felt something truly overwhelming the very first time I saw Danny. The first time we locked eyes, I felt
home
. Comfortable. Right.

Was it love at first sight? Well, I don’t know that that exists. But it was The Path to Love at first sight, and after hours and hours of phone calls acting as the miracle grow and water to my little garden of love, that flower took route, sprouted, and grew into something really beautiful within just a couple of weeks.

And now it was fucking wilting.

Normally, when a situation got me down, I would turn to positive thoughts, pep talks, and distraction.

But positive thoughts weren’t worth shit when they were up against such powerful weaponry. There was no pep talk strong enough for what I was feeling right now.

Other patrons tried to make their way past me and into the bar, as I had effectively frozen, my body torn between spontaneously combusting and running away as fast as humanly possible.

I know I was normally more of a confrontation type of person, but this was different. I had put myself out there, vulnerable and real, and Dan Fucking Smith was smashing it to effing pieces. I didn’t want to break down in front of him. I wanted to yell. But I was afraid the only reaction my body could produce at that moment was tears.

Danny’s head swung up, his eyes coasting mindlessly across the patrons of the bar, but when his eyes met mine they flashed with something that looked a hell of a lot like pain.

I didn’t care.

I had to get out of there.

My mind raced with unfinished thoughts and ways to explain it away.

But I couldn’t come up with any.

Pirouetting on my sandal with the skill and speed of a fucking ballet dancer, my hair flying around in a colorful arc behind me, I whipped around, shoved my way back out the door, and headed to my car at a healthy jog.

I knew I had to drive home tonight, which was going to suck giant elephant balls, but I couldn’t stay here.

It wasn’t like I had given him my virginity, but fuck. I had let myself fall for the huge Jerkface, for the illusion. Let myself hope and dream and be cocky enough to think that I did all of my books one better. Because I fucking found
it
in reality.

Hah! The joke’s on you, Haley Whitfield. Enjoy this big, bony knee to your dainty, paisley printed balls. Try not to cough up blood while you’re bent over and sputtering in pain.

What a fucking bitter way to find out first hand that Danny’s theory about love was spot on. Not to mention, the additional pain of going so long thinking I couldn’t have what I wanted. Thinking that Danny only wanted a friendship. Liking him and liking him, and then finally getting what I wanted. Getting him.

When there’s that much build up, it only makes the fall that much more significant. And more importantly, the landing hurts a hell of a lot more. Damn Danny and his airplane analogy.

I felt a familiar touch land on my arm just as I reached the door of my car. Even if I hadn’t known the feeling of the touch, I knew it could only be one person.

I wheeled around, yanking my arm out of his hold, my face contorting with every ounce of my hurt and anger, and whispered menacingly, “Don’t you fucking touch me.”

“Hales—” he started, slicing me open again with his casual effing nickname.

“You’re a liar, Danny,” I whispered, my voice shaking ever so slightly as the first tear made its escape and ran down my perfectly made up face. “I
hate
liars.”

“You weren’t supposed to be here,” he ground out, his jaw hardening with every word he spoke, his hand reaching out to try and touch me again.

“Oh yeah! That makes it better! Out of sight out of mind, huh Dan-o?” I hissed as I jerked out of the way. “Well that shit doesn’t work for me.”

“Jesus, what a stellar defense. You weren’t supposed to be here, you weren’t supposed to catch me red fucking handed,” I mocked in an impersonation of Danny’s deep voice.

His voice turned growly with his frustration, his hands clasping behind his head, his elbows sticking out like chicken wings, and then sliding off choppily. I could see that his eyes had a fresh coat of wetness making them blaze like the fires of hell. “That is not what I meant, and this is not what it fucking looks like. You and I are in a fucking relationship, and that means something to me.” He reached out and grabbed my hand, this time not letting it go. “It means
everything
to me.”

“You could have fucking fooled me,” I shot back, my free hand searching blindly behind me for the door handle of my car. “Thank God you wrapped up your dirty meat before putting it in my heat! She looks like a fucking leper!” I shouted angrily, my body turning toward the door when I eventually found the handle.

I whipped my head back once more, intent to get in one more jab. “I hope your dick gets leprosy! Don’t worry, it should go perfectly with your zebra stripes. Until it falls off, that is.”

“Haley, wait. Do not get in that fucking car without hearing me out,” he ordered when I gave him the back of me again. And it was an order.

And if you can believe it, I was a fraction of a second away from following it, from turning around and giving him an honest chance to explain away unexplainable actions.

But then, from over by the door of the bar, I heard a whiny female voice ask, “Danny baby, what the fuck?”

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck,
fucking shit
!” I heard Danny mutedly explode behind me.

That was when I made my real mistake.

I paused, turned just my face to him, and gave him the chance to choose.

The chance to pick me. To come with me and explain.

His body swayed toward me, just a fraction of an inch, but the sound of Wade’s voice calling his name from the door stopped him. “Danny!”

I didn’t know Wade well, but it stung a little extra to know he knew this situation was going on, and that he obviously wasn’t on my side.