A Is for Abstinence (15 page)

I’d never seen her so dressed up before. Usually she sported a business casual look—preppy enough that my country-clubbing parents would adore her. There had been a few times she had gotten sexed up in a sassy, let’s-hit-the-club way, but I always assumed those times were of Cara’s doing.

This look was different. It was classy. Tasteful. It was elegant and fun at the same time—a perfect blend of casual and formal. She was maddeningly sexy without trying. Probably without even knowing it. I wondered if she had any clue how tempting she looked.

“Kyle?”

How long had I been standing there just staring at her?

“Shit, Valerie,” I muttered. I couldn’t decide if I’d landed in heaven or hell. She’d transformed herself into the stunning beauty she was now just for me, and I wasn’t allowed to touch. This night might kill me. “How the hell am I supposed to abstain from anything with you looking like that?”

I wasn’t kidding.

She eyed my jeans and chewed on her bottom lip as she looked down at her own outfit. “You didn’t say what we were doing, so I wasn’t sure how to dress. I’ll go change into something more casual.”

“No!” I nearly tackled her when she turned to leave. “You will absolutely
not
go change. Not now, not ever again. You look…” It took me a long time to pick a word. “Breathtaking.” It still didn’t seem adequate enough.

She blushed at the praise, but when I pulled her to me by the hips and my hands automatically started roaming, her smile fell flat and she sighed. “I should go put on some jeans.”

“No, you really shouldn’t.”

My hands rounded the curve of her butt and she raised a challenging brow. I chuckled and somehow peeled my hands off her body and shoved them in my pockets.

“Sweatpants and a scrubby T-shirt, then. I’ll be right back.”

When she turned to leave again I grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the step. “I am serious. You are not taking that dress off.”

Me, on the other hand…

Damn it! I was so screwed. She wasn’t even out the door yet and I was tempted to skip the date altogether and sweep her straight into bed.

“Kyle?”

I shook myself out of my trance. I had to get it together. “I’m good,” I lied. “I’ve managed for eight months now; I can do this. Nobody’s taking your dress off. Not you…and not me, either.”
Even if it kills me.

Val blinked, finally grasping the true depth of my internal struggle.

I tugged her away from the house before she could run screaming, and gave her a sheepish smile. “We’ll duct tape my hands behind my back if we have to.”

She finally laughed. “Hopefully it won’t come to that,” she said as I walked her to my car and opened her door for her, “but don’t think I won’t if you make me.”

I took her into San Francisco. I had reservations on one of those dinner cruises where they take you out on a big yacht and provide a romantic candlelit dinner while they sail you around the bay. This one came complete with a grand piano and a stringed quartet. Not my usual taste in music, but I looked forward to a nice slow dance with Val after we ate.

Val followed my gaze around the room and then smiled down at the table as if she were enjoying a private joke. It made me smile too, even though I didn’t get it. My curiosity got the better of me. “Something funny?”

She met my gaze with a twinkle in her eyes. “I thought you weren’t a fan of places that set out more than one fork.”

I chuckled, surprised she remembered that about me. “Not usually,” I agreed, “but I figured, since this was our first real date and all…”

Val thought about it and smiled. “It really is our first, isn’t it?”

“The first one you agreed to willingly. It seemed like a special enough occasion to merit multiple forks.”

“I’d say so. It’s only been five years since the first time you asked.”

I let my eyes rove over her again. Her hair was twisted up, leaving her neck and shoulders bare. Her skin shimmered slightly in the soft light.

She was beautiful, but when I looked at her, it was the memories we shared that made me smile. I was glad we had the history we did, otherwise I might not see past the beauty. I wouldn’t appreciate her the way I did now.

“It was well worth the wait, Val, I promise.”

My words changed something in her countenance. Her smile slipped into a look I couldn’t decipher. Her voice was soft when she said, “You haven’t asked me what I think about your new song.”

My stomach lurched, but I managed to sound calm when I responded. “I’ve been trying very hard not to. I learned my lesson the last time.”

Val blushed, chagrined. “I deserve that.”

“You were honest,” I said. “I can’t ask for more than that.”

She reached across the table suddenly and set her hand on top of mine. “I love the new song, Kyle.”

I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear that until I let out the breath I’d been holding and felt a million times lighter. “I’m glad,” I said, forcing down a lump in my throat.

I flipped my hand over and tangled our fingers together. Val looked at our joined hands as if she didn’t understand what was happening. “Did you really mean it,” she asked, “or was it just a good idea for a song?”

It hurt that she needed clarification. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yes, but I don’t understand
why
.” She seemed mystified. “It’s been four years. You were engaged to someone else. Why write another song now? What on earth even made you think of me after all this time?”

I sat back with a sigh and took a sip of my wine. Val pulled her hand back to her side of the table and waited for an answer.

“It’s a long story,” I warned, “and I’m pretty sure talking about your ex-fiancée on a first date is some kind of faux pas.”

Val wasn’t going to let me off the hook that easily. “I need to understand. I want to believe that you’re sincere. It’s not that I think you’re lying, but you’re
Kyle Hamilton
. You’re larger than life and whimsical. You’re so passionate about everything…for five minutes at a time. I can’t help having doubts about what exactly it is you’re looking for with me.”

She still saw the old me. The younger, stupid, cocky, rock star who only knew how to live in the moment and never considered the future. How could I make her understand that I was different?

“I’m here because I’m tired of ‘five minutes at a time.’ I’m looking for the chance to have something real.”

Val considered this a moment. “And you believe you’ll find that with me?”

I nodded. “I don’t think you’d be capable of anything less. You aren’t the type of woman a guy picks up at a bar and takes home for the weekend, Val. You’re the kind we see going out with other men that makes us wonder what the hell we’re doing wrong.”

Val sat, frozen, staring into my eyes as my words settled in. I refused to look away. Eventually she managed a smile and took a sip from her glass. “I still can’t believe you’re the new king of the abstinence crowd.”

Her teasing tone brought the light mood back and I laughed. “Me either.”

After dinner we went out on the ship’s deck. Even though I was born and raised in Surf City, USA, I’d never been a surfer. But I loved the ocean. As a kid, I grew up boating. My parents have their own yacht and although I hated going to their stupid yacht club events and mingling with snooty people in uncomfortable clothes, I always loved going out on the boat. I loved the feel of the water rolling beneath me, and I loved the fresh breeze with that saltwater and seaweed smell.

Cruising around the San Francisco Bay was nice because while the water was a little calmer than being out on the open ocean, the view more than made up for it. At night the city lights were amazing, and the bridges spectacular.

Val walked to the edge of the ship and leaned against the railing as she stared out at the approaching Golden Gate. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

Standing behind her, I was sure my view was a little better. I took off my blazer and wrapped it over her bare shoulders. It may have been the first week of June, but in San Francisco that still only meant low sixties after the sun went down. With the breeze, it was quite chilly.

“Thank you,” she said, gripping the jacket tightly around her.

“My pleasure. Now I have a reason to do this…” I pulled her back against my chest and wrapped her in my arms. “If you’re going to wear my jacket, then it’s your job to keep me warm.”

“Deal,” she said.

She sucked in a deep breath when I placed a soft kiss on her neck. She shivered and rested her head against my shoulder. We stayed silent for a while, enjoying everything about this moment. When the boat glided beneath the bridge, I broke the silence. “I’ll never understand how man accomplishes some of the things they do.” Staring up at the massive structure from its underbelly, my mind was a little blown away.

There was a smile in Val’s reply. “I’ll bet there are people who think that very thing about you and the things you’ve accomplished in your life.”

“I sing. I don’t engineer miraculous structures that will stand for hundreds of years.”

“But the songs you write will last forever. Your music has already touched hundreds of thousands of lives and will be remembered as part of this country’s history.”

The compliment was surprising and warmed me on the inside, but at the same time it felt a little ridiculous. It was only music. It’s not like I singlehandedly brought down the national teen pregnancy average.

“You’re one to talk,” I teased, wanting, for once, to take the attention off of myself. “Look at the things you’ve accomplished just in the last five years. You were so amazing they had to make a movie about you.”

Val smiled up at me over her shoulder. “I’m pretty sure there was a character in that movie named after you, too.”

“Yeah, but I think I was the villain.”

She laughed, and I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. The kiss was chaste—a simple peck—but just the fact that I could do it, that Val was here with me and that I was allowed to kiss her whenever I had the urge, felt like as mind blowing a feat as building the bridge we were sailing under.

Val blushed bright red. She gave me a shy smile and turned her gaze back to the water. “This is a little strange, isn’t it?” she asked.

I gave her a tight squeeze and said, “I like to think of it as inevitable. I knew from the first time I saw you that I wanted you to be mine. This feels like…sweet victory.”

I knew instantly that I’d put my foot in my mouth and said the exact worst thing, but it was too late to unsay it.

Val stepped out of my arms and turned around to face me. She looked as if she were about to throw her hands on her hips and start tapping her foot. “‘Sweet victory’?” she asked. “And now that you’ve finally won your coveted prize, how long before you get tired of me and move on to the next challenge?”

I sighed. I could be such an idiot sometimes. I knew Val was concerned about my sincerity. I knew she was going to feel insecure at first.

“Never,” I promised. “I could never get tired of you.”

She didn’t look like she believed me.

“Do you really think I’m going to toss you aside the first chance I get?” I asked.

“It’s taken me five years to get this far. Am I excited that I’ve finally achieved it? Of course. Right now I feel like the luckiest guy on Earth, and I’m scared to death that any minute you’re going to realize you’re too good for me and send me packing.”

Her frown turned into a wry smile.

“It’s the truth,” I insisted. I stepped closer and took her face in my hands. “Trust me, I do not want to screw this up. Okay?”

She searched my eyes a moment and nodded. “Okay.”

Crisis averted, my smile came back. “Good,” I said. “And now that we understand each other, I think it’s time I reap some of the spoils of my victory.”

Before she could argue, I lowered my face to hers again. This time I kissed her good and hard. The heat of it was probably inappropriate for a public display but I didn’t care; I wanted her to feel it. I wanted to start a fire inside her that would leave her burning all night.

I pushed her back against the boat railing and leaned in until our bodies were flush against one another. My hand slipped inside the blazer she wore, and I ran my fingers up the side of her body. Nothing separated us except the thin material of her dress, but it wasn’t enough. My hands fell to her butt and I squeezed her against me, hoping her closeness would relieve some of my need for her. She gasped.

“Gross,” a young female voice said.

There was a round of snickers and then a male voice that said, “Yeah, get a room.”

I thanked the Lord for his divine intervention and disentangled myself from Val. I apologized when I saw her startled expression. “Sorry. I guess I got a little carried away.”

“Yeah,” she breathed.

We were interrupted again by a third voice. “Aren’t you guys, like, way too old to be dry humping each other in public?”

I laughed. Whoever our make-out police were, they had sass. “I’m a rock star,” I said, turning my attention to them. “It’s expected of me.”