A Hopeful Heart (9 page)

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

Nancy angled her body toward Amanda. “You tease me about Manny and you tease Lily
about Leroy, but you seem to be the only
maedel
I know who doesn’t have a crush.”

Amanda shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I haven’t met the right
bu
yet.” She pulled at a blade of grass and did her best to avoid her friend’s probing
stare.

“There has to be someone you like.”

“No, not really.” Amanda shook her head.

“Amanda?” Nancy leaned over. “Are you hiding something from me?”

“Don’t be
gegisch.
I don’t like anyone in our youth group.” She shrugged.

“So you like someone from another youth group?” Nancy’s smile was wide, revealing
her pearly white, perfectly straight teeth.

“No, I really don’t.” Amanda rubbed her hands together, sending blades of grass flying
through the air like green confetti. “I’m certain I’ll find someone. There’s no rush,
right? We’re only sixteen, and we’re not even baptized.” She hoped that explanation
would satisfy her friend.

Nancy nodded, and Amanda felt her shoulders relax.

“Do you still want to play volleyball?” Amanda stood and swiped her hands across her
apron. “Let’s go.”

Amanda followed Nancy over to the group standing by the net. When Lillian caught her
eye, Amanda winked at her, and Lillian’s eyes widened with embarrassment. Amanda wondered
if she’d ever find a boy who made her blush the way Leroy made Lily blush. But the
truth was, she wasn’t worried about finding a boy to like; she was more interested
in following her true dream—going to college and becoming a veterinarian. She just
didn’t want anyone, including Nancy, to know about that—at least, not yet.

Later that afternoon, Hannah sat up front in the buggy as Joshua guided the horse
up the driveway toward her farm.

“It’s a beautiful day.” Josh glanced over at her.

“
Ya
, it is.” Hannah looked back toward Andrew. “It will be quiet in the
haus
since your sisters are gone to their youth gathering.”

“
Ya.
” Andrew grinned. “Are you going to stay and visit,
Onkel
Josh?”

Josh brought the horse to a stop in front of the barn and then turned to Hannah. “
Ya
, I think I might stay for a while.”

“That will be nice.” Hannah climbed out of the buggy.

“
Ya!
” Andrew jumped out of the buggy behind her. “I’ll go change into my work clothes.”
He ran toward the house.

Hannah started toward the house. “I’ll make us a snack.”

“Wait.” Josh cleared his throat. “I have something for you.”

“Oh?” Hannah watched with curiosity as he retrieved something from the back of the
buggy.

“I was going to save this for your birthday, but I couldn’t wait to give it to you.”
He handed her a wooden stand with prongs. “It’s for your spools. I heard Amanda tell
you once that she had a difficult time finding the thread she needed because they
weren’t organized. I thought this might help you keep your spools together.”

“Oh, Joshua.” Hannah took the gift, and her heart warmed at the gesture. “This is
wonderful.
Danki.
I can definitely use this. I constantly misplace my spools.”

He smiled. “I’m
froh
you can use it.”

Hannah ran her fingers over the smooth prongs and wondered how much time it took him
to craft the spool holder. “You must have put a lot of effort into this.”

Josh shrugged. “I like doing woodworking. I probably would’ve been a carpenter if
Gideon hadn’t convinced me to go into business with him.”

“I’m so touched that you thought of me.” She smiled at him. “You’re very thoughtful.”

His expression became intense. “I always think of you, Hannah. In fact, I think of
you all the time.”

Hannah’s breath caught as she stared into his eager eyes. For a brief moment she wondered
if she truly belonged with someone like Joshua instead of Trey. Joshua was a good,
loyal, hardworking, and honest Amish man. Wasn’t he the right choice for her? But
then Hannah admitted to herself that she had been considering how Trey could give
her something she’d always wanted—the ability to live her dream of owning a bed and
breakfast. Just as quickly, Hannah thought about her children and the problems her
relationship with Trey could cause for them, and she found herself confused again.
Where did she belong?

“Hannah?” Joshua tilted his head in question as he studied her. “Are you okay?”

“
Ya.
” She forced a smile and then gestured toward the house. “I’m going to put this in
the sewing room and organize my spools.
Danki
again for the lovely gift. I will put it to good use.” She started toward the house
while wondering if she could ever sort through her confused feelings.

M
onday morning, Hannah studied her clipboard and marked off the room she’d just cleaned.
She cupped her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. She’d spent most of the night staring
at the ceiling and contemplating her jumbled feelings for Trey and Joshua. She was
surprised and overwhelmed by the thoughtful gift Joshua had given her. He’d spent
the rest of the afternoon visiting with Hannah and Andrew, and she found herself marveling
at the sight of Andrew and Joshua together. She wondered again if she belonged with
Joshua, the man who’d stood by her through her husband’s death. If she were with Joshua,
she’d be able to stay in a life she knew and loved.

However, Trey’s image crept into her thoughts throughout the night. She couldn’t forget
the intensity of his touch when he’d held her hands while they shared a coffee break
on Friday. She also thought about their walk around her farm on Saturday. Her feelings
for Trey were palpable and his plans for the bed and breakfast filled her with excitement
and longing for a new life, even though they pointed to an uncharted road.

Yet she knew a relationship with Trey would be complicated and would cause many problems
for her family. She needed to
end the relationship now, even though the idea was breaking her heart.

She looked down the hallway toward Trey’s room, and her stomach tightened. She’d considered
asking to switch floors with Linda to avoid seeing him, but she knew that was the
coward’s way out. She had to face him and tell him they could no longer be friends,
and one way to see him was to clean the third floor and hope they ran into each other.
She’d spent most of the ride to the hotel this morning planning what she’d say to
Trey when she saw him. She prayed she could remember everything she wanted to tell
him.

Hannah approached another room, knocked, announced herself, and then unlocked it.
After propping the door open, she moved into the bathroom and grabbed the used towels
slung over the shower door and then headed toward the cart in the hallway to grab
new ones. She stepped through the doorway and almost bumped into Trey.

“
Ach!
” She dropped the towels into the bin on the cart. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you
there.”

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.” He shook his head. “I didn’t mean to startle
you. I was hoping you were working up here today. I wanted to see how you’re doing.
Did you enjoy the rest of your weekend?”

Hannah looked up at him and tried to remember the speech she’d mentally practiced
during the ride into work this morning. Yet the sight of his handsome face caused
her speech to evaporate from her mind. “My weekend was fine. How about yours? Did
you look at more houses?”

“I did.” Trey folded his arms over his chest. “I still like the first one the best.
I’m thinking about making an offer on it soon.”

“
Gut.
” Hannah fingered her apron while contemplating what to say next. “I’m sorry about
Saturday. My mother-in-law has a way of expressing her opinions without considering
other people’s feelings.”

He shrugged. “You don’t need to apologize. My grandmother was the same way. We never
knew what she’d say. There’s no need to feel bad or embarrassed. I know our friendship
is unusual, to say the least.”

Hannah cleared her throat. She had to tell him the truth, and waiting would only make
it more awkward. “Mr. Peterson, I have enjoyed talking with you, and I had a wonderful
time when you visited my farm and had supper with my family.” He frowned, but she
pushed on, ignoring the sadness and regret surging through her. “Unfortunately, I
can’t spend time with you anymore. Having you over at my house put me in an awkward
position with my community. Although I’m permitted to speak with a man who isn’t Amish,
befriending one could lead to problems. I hope that makes sense.” She said the words
she’d rehearsed, but her voice sounded weak instead of confident. Why was this so
difficult?

“Oh. I see.” Trey grimaced and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I should’ve
called before I came over on Saturday, but, like I said, I didn’t know how to get
in touch with you. I thought I’d just take a chance and go out. I never meant to cause
you problems. I had a feeling that your mother-in-law was going to give you a hard
time about my visit, and I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” She paused and tried to find the right words. Nothing felt
like the right thing to say as she looked into the eyes of her friend. “My mother-in-law
reminded me of how
our friendship could be misinterpreted, and I can’t risk causing problems for my children.”

“That makes sense.” He leaned against the wall. “I understand. I talked to my sister
the other night, and I mentioned our friendship. She pointed out that she thought
I may have gotten you into a sticky situation with your mother-in-law. I’d hoped she
was wrong, but she wasn’t.”

Hannah studied him. “You told your sister about me?”

“Yes, I did.” He looked confused. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Oh.” She found herself stuck on this detail, trying to figure out what it meant.
Why would he tell his sister about their friendship? Did it mean that much to him?
The idea filled her with hope and excitement, but she quickly pushed the thought away.

“I better get going.” He motioned toward the elevator. “Have a good day. Hopefully
I’ll run into you again, but I’ll be sure to have my shirt on.” Humor shone in his
eyes.

Hannah gaped for a surprised moment and her senses swam. “Good-bye, Mr. Peterson.
I’m certain your bed and breakfast will be a wonderful success.”

“You take care of my horses.” He waved and disappeared around the corner toward the
bank of elevators.

Hannah stared after him and felt her heart breaking with each passing moment. She
wondered why it was so painful to say good-bye to someone she barely knew.

“How are you today?” Amanda stood at the cash register and punched in the prices for
the cheese, eggs, and cookies the customer had brought to the counter.

“I’m fine, thank you.” The woman pulled out her leather wallet from her fancy-looking
purse and motioned toward the package of chocolate chip cookies. “Do you make these
cookies? They’re fabulous.”

“No, I don’t.” Amanda pointed toward Nancy, who was working at the bakery counter
on the other side of the small deli. “My friend Nancy and her mother make them. Aren’t
they the best?”

“Please tell your friend and her mother that they are amazing bakers. I wish I could
bake like that too. I’m better at ordering takeout than making anything in the kitchen.”
The woman handed her the money, and Amanda gave her change before bagging the items.

“That’s funny.” Amanda smiled.

“It’s the truth. My husband often jokes that he needs to hire a chef.” The woman jammed
the money into her wallet and then dropped the wallet back into her purse.

“I imagine it would be nice to have a personal chef.” Amanda glanced toward the window
and noticed that the rain had stopped. The bright sunlight filtered down through the
skylights above her and provided the only indoor lighting for the store other than
a few gas-powered lamps. “The sun came out. I thought it was going to rain all day.”

“Yes, it brightened right up. The temperature is perfect—not too hot, not too cool.
I love this time of year. Of course, my kids are counting the days until they get
out of school. They can’t wait to spend the summer lounging at the pool.” She took
the bag from Amanda. “Have a great day.”

“You too.” Amanda grabbed a rag from the shelf under the cash register and began wiping
up the counter. She hummed to
herself while she worked. She heard footsteps and looked up just as Mike Smithson
approached. He held up a package of pumpkin whoopie pies.

“Hi, Amanda.” His curly brown hair stuck out from under a blue baseball cap, and he
was clad in a green T-shirt and baggy jeans.

“Hi, Mike.” Amanda pushed the ribbons from her prayer covering behind her shoulders.
“How are you today?”

“Fine.” He pointed to the whoopie pies. “You know I can’t resist these.”

“We always have some ready for you.” Amanda rang up the little cakes, and Mike handed
her the money. “Where’s Julianne?”

Mike turned toward the other side of the store. “There she is. She’s talking to Nancy.
You know how my sister likes to chat. So, how’s the farm?”

“Good.” Amanda nodded. “How’s school?”

He shrugged. “School is school. I’m counting down the days. Only one more month left.
I want to get a summer job instead of just hanging around doing nothing like last
summer.” He gestured toward the door. “My uncle owns the bookstore just across the
street. I’m going to talk to him about a job this weekend.”

“I didn’t know your uncle owns the Book Café.”

“Yeah, he does. I thought it would be the perfect summer job before I leave for college.”

“
Ya
, I imagine it would be fun to work in a bookstore.”

Julianne appeared next to Mike and bumped his arm. She shared the same brown eyes
and brown curly hair, only hers fell in ringlets past her shoulders. “Hi, Amanda.”

“Hi, Julianne. How are you?”

“I’m great, thanks.” Julianne looked back and forth between them. “What were you two
talking about?”

“I was just telling Amanda I’m hoping to get a job at Uncle Rick’s bookstore this
summer.” He bumped her back with his elbow.

“I’m certain Uncle Rick will hire you.” Julianne feigned a frown. “Can you believe
this will be our last summer together before you pursue your dream of becoming a big-time
doctor and then forget the rest of us?”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I plan to do.”

Julianne handed Amanda a sampler box filled with a variety of desserts. “This is totally
going to kill my diet, but how can I come in here and not buy something? It smells
so good.”

“Nancy’s samplers are delicious.” Amanda rang up and bagged the desserts, and Julianne
paid her.

Julianne glanced at her watch. “We’d better go. We have youth group tonight. We have
to be at church by five.”

Mike smiled at Amanda. “See you soon.”

“Bye!” Amanda waved as her two friends started for the door. She pondered how excited
Mike must be to head to college. He dreamt of being a doctor while Amanda had always
wanted to be a veterinarian. She wondered what it would be like to be able to have
the choice to be more than just a cashier at a deli. If only she had the luxury of
choices like her
Englisher
friends had …

Trey drove through the wet Paradise streets later that afternoon. The rain had cleared
and a bright rainbow shimmered in the
sky. Yet his mood remained grim. He couldn’t wipe the frown off his face that had
appeared when Hannah told him they could no longer be friends. He kept telling himself
that he and Hannah were from different worlds, and they were never meant to be friends.
He knew in his heart, however, that her friendship meant a lot to him—more than he
could even express in words.

He steered around a corner and pulled into the parking lot of the Paradise Community
Church. He needed to talk to someone and share the confusing feelings that had gripped
him since this morning. He pulled his iPhone from his pocket and dialed Christy’s
number.

After a few rings, her voicemail picked up. “Hi, this is Christy Becker. I can’t come
to the phone right now. Leave me a message, and I’ll call you right back. Thanks!”

Trey waited for the beep before he began to speak. “Hey, Christy. It’s me. I just
wanted to say hi. Give me a call when you get a moment. Thanks.” He ended the call
and dropped the phone into the cup holder.

He leaned back in the seat while staring at the church in front of him. He’d longed
to visit a church since coming to Lancaster County, but he hadn’t made the time. It
seemed he was always too busy, putting his goal of finding the perfect bed and breakfast
for Corrine ahead of his spiritual needs. He and Corrine had been active members of
their church back home in New Jersey.

Trey had gone back to church after he’d lost Corrine and Samantha, but it wasn’t the
same. He felt the warmth and comfort of his church family when they brought him meals,
visited him, and kept him on the prayer list for months. The Scriptures warmed his
heart and gave him hope both during the services and also at home at night. But there
was something missing when
he was in church. He knew what it was—it was the vacant pew beside him. Not having
his precious wife and daughter beside him during worship left him feeling empty.

When he moved to Lancaster, he wasn’t just trying to bring Corrine’s dream to life;
he was also trying to escape the loneliness and guilt that had haunted him since he
lost his family. When he’d met Hannah, he felt a spark of hope ignite in his soul.
But that spark dwindled when Hannah ended their friendship.

Would he ever feel whole again?

Trey blew out a sigh and studied the white church. The tall bell tower and the colorful
stained glass cross reminded him of the church back home. He suddenly felt the urge
to take a closer look. He climbed from his car and crossed the parking lot to the
brick front steps. He pulled open the large door and stepped into the sanctuary. The
church had a historic feel with its wooden pews and a matching altar. A wooden board
displayed the hymn numbers and total attendance for the previous week.

He walked to the front of the sanctuary and sat in the first pew. Bowing his head,
he sent a prayer up to God.

Lord, I’m lost, and I need your help. Please guide my journey toward a new home in
Lancaster County. And help me find the peace I need to heal my heart and soul after
losing my family. In your holy name, I pray. Amen.

When he finished his silent prayer, warmth filled Trey. He blew out a deep breath
and stood.

“May I help you?” A tall man with dark, graying hair and a warm smile approached him.
He was dressed in dark clothes with a white minister’s collar.