A Hope Undaunted (44 page)

“He regained consciousness in the car,” Sean said in a gentle tone from his chair across the way, “and the nurse told us that was a good sign.”

Faith sighed and leaned her head back. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just worried.”

“I wonder why,” Charity said, her tone acidic. “When a man as vital and strong as Father has a heart attack – ”

“Possible heart attack,” Sean corrected. “We don’t know for sure that’s what happened.”

Katie eyed Steven where he sat, slumped in his chair with a glassy stare. “No, all we do know for sure is that something upset him badly enough to cause a problem.”

“Katie . . .” Luke’s tone held gentle warning as he glanced up from his game of tic-tac-toe with Gabe.

Steven’s eyes flicked up, and his dark gaze glinted with accusation. “Don’t hang this on me, Katie Rose, you could have avoided all of it by doing me a simple favor.”

Katie spun around. “Yeah? And you could have avoided it by staying off the couch – ”

Marcy’s stomach constricted.

Katie halted, as if suddenly aware she’d said too much. She swallowed hard at the look of shock on Steven’s face, then quickly started for the door. “I need a drink of water.”

Marcy grabbed Katie’s arm, halting her cold. “What do you mean he could have avoided this by staying off the couch?”

Heat washed into Katie’s cheeks. She trained her gaze on the black-and-white floor instead of her mother’s face. “Nothing.”

Marcy slowly rose, her tone laced with a steely quality that her children seldom heard. “Don’t you dare sidestep me, Katie Rose. Explain what you mean –
now
!”

Chewing her lip, Katie shot a quick glance in Steven’s direction. She sucked in a deep breath and faced her mother head-on. “Father was angry because Steven had been drinking, yes, but also because he caught him with Maggie last night . . .” She swallowed hard. “On the couch.”

Steven lunged forward with a curse. “You little – ”

Marcy’s hand rose with lightning speed. Her slap echoed in the silent waiting room, stunning Steven – and everyone else – into shocked silence. “Don’t you dare use that kind of language in front of me. To think that I have defended you to your father, giving you the benefit of the doubt, over and over again. And now to find out that your lewd behavior – under our very roof, no less – may have been responsible for – ” Her voice cracked on a sob.

Faith jumped up to cradle Marcy’s shoulders and usher her back to her seat. “Mother, we’re all pretty upset right now – ”

With an angry shove to Katie’s shoulder, Steven bolted from the room, and Sean quietly rose to follow. Katie tightened her jaw and started after them, retribution foremost on her mind.

“Let it go, Katie,” Luke whispered, staying her arm with a quiet command.

She flung his hand away, all of her tension and fear rising up to spill like acid. “Leave me alone, it’s none of your business. You’re not family.”

He latched on and practically dragged her to the other side of the room before shoving her into a chair. His eyes burned into hers, pinning her to the seat as surely as his massive hands pinned her to the wooden armrests. “No, but I’m a friend who’s trying to stop you from making a bad situation worse. Your mother didn’t need to deal with that right now, Katie, nor did Steven need any more guilt slung his way. It’s pretty obvious he already blames himself as it is.”

Teeth clenched, she tried to jerk free. “Good! He is to blame, as far as I’m concerned, defying Father like he always does. Let me go, you bully, you’re hurting me.”

His hold tightened, along with his voice. “Oh, and you’re the golden girl, I suppose? I’d be careful about throwing stones, Katie Rose . . . not with your reputation for breaking curfew left and right, drinking alcohol, and if I have my guesses right . . . ,” a nerve twittered in his cheek, “your own fair share of necking in the car with Jack.” He removed his hand from her arm and sat down, his eyes defying her to argue. “Not to mention kissing me behind your boyfriend’s back.”

Heat infused her cheeks and she looked away, ashamed that his aim was dead-center. Tears pricked her eyes, and she lowered her head. “Gee, thanks, McGee, I feel so much better.”

The warmth of his breath brushed her cheek as he leaned in close. “Katie, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty here, but you need to understand that this isn’t anybody’s fault. It’s just one of those awful things that happens in life. Blaming your brother is not going to help, and to be honest, it hurts your chances at the only thing that really will.”

His words were calm and low, helping to ease the anger she felt inside. She looked up, tears blurring her eyes. “What are you talking about?” she whispered.

The soothing stroke of his fingers against her cheek drew her eyes closed. “Prayer,” he said in a voice so sure and so still that peace lighted upon her soul. “Bitterness and unforgiveness are sins, Katie, and a luxury you can’t afford right now. The Bible says if we regard sin in our hearts, the Lord will not hear our prayers. And if ever there were a time you wanted him to hear your prayers, I would think it would be now.”

Tears spilled as she opened her eyes. “Oh, Luke, I want to pray, but I’m no good at it.”

He smiled and braced a sturdy arm to her shoulder, pulling her close as they sat back, side by side. He pressed a kiss to her head. “Well, you’re with the right friend, then, ’cause I’ve spent enough time with John Brady to get it down right. But first, you need to forgive your brother.”

“How?” She sniffed. “I’m so angry with him right now, I don’t know if I can.”

“You can. It’s not a matter of feeling it, Katie, it’s a matter of doing it – making the decision to bend that iron will of yours in God’s direction so that he can hear your prayers and unleash blessings.” He hesitated, a note of levity in his tone. “But since that’s something totally foreign to you, how about I pray, and you just agree in your heart?”

She nodded and rested back against his chest with eyes closed.

“Lord God, we need your help right now on behalf of Katie’s father and her family. But first, we want to make sure all barriers are out of the way, so Katie asks you to forgive her for her anger toward Steven and to help her let it go. Whether she feels like it or not, she knows you’ve commanded that she forgive, so help her to do that now. And bless Steven too, Lord. Help him to find your peace in all of this and to forgive himself, Katie, and his father. We ask you to be with Mr. O’Connor – please stabilize and heal him. Wrap Patrick, Marcy, and their children in your peace right now, peace given in the midst of a storm as your Word promises. And finally, Lord, give the doctors wisdom and bring good from this situation on behalf of this man who serves you with all of his heart. Thank you, Lord.” He squeezed her arm. “Feel better?”

She drew in a deep breath and released it again, shocked at how much calmer she actually felt. She turned and squinted up at him. “Yeah, I do. How did you do that?”

He laughed and massaged the nape of her neck, lulling her eyes closed once again. “I didn’t, Katie, you did. It’s called prayer, and when you mix it with faith and a clean heart – you can move mountains.”

“Katie, will you take me to the bathroom?”

She looked up to see Gabe squirming before her, a pained expression on her face.

“Sure, honey.” Katie stood and grabbed Gabe’s hand, sparing Luke a half smile. “You – ” she said with a pointed finger to his chest, “don’t move.”

She steered Gabe out the double doors to the bathroom, past Steven and Sean who were sitting butted against a wide window ledge overlooking the parking lot. Steven’s look was caustic, and with a press of her jaw, Katie escorted Gabe to the restroom down the hall, then doubled back to where her brothers sat.

“Steven?” She stood several feet away, hands clasped and heart pounding.

His head, slumped forward, suddenly jerked up.

She sucked in a fortifying breath. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault, you know, not anybody’s, really. Although,” she said slowly, her gaze avoiding his, “I bear a fair share of the blame for driving Father crazy.” She looked up then, her eyes entreating his. “We’re blood, Steven, and now more than ever, we need that connection, that closeness . . . to get through this.”

She paused, arms clasped to her waist while tears sprang to her eyes. “W-when that happened to Father tonight, nothing else mattered – not Jack, not law school, not even my lofty dreams to make a difference in this world. I suddenly realized our time with Mother and Father is short. You’ll be graduating next year, and I’ll be planning a wedding to Jack.” Her voice wavered and she lifted her chin to ward off a sob. She looked at Sean then, unable to fight the quiver in her lips. “And when I saw Father go limp in your arms, it crushed me to think that . . . every time we see him – see
them
– it could be the last time.”

Her sob broke free, and Sean stood to pull her into his arms. She squeezed him tightly, grateful for the strength of his support. With a nasal sniff, she turned to look at Steven, her eyes beseeching his. “Steven, we need to love them – and each other – like every moment is our last. Because it could be . . . and it will be . . . someday. And I don’t want any regrets. Do you?”

Steven stared, moisture softening the hardness in his eyes. He looked away, not trusting the grief that ached in his throat. “No,” he said with a painful swallow. “I don’t.”

With a broken heave, she launched herself into his arms, and for one paralyzing moment he was struck numb with the realization of how everything had shifted with a single beat of their father’s heart. He closed his eyes and stood, crushing her so tightly that tears escaped despite his determination to remain removed. He wasn’t removed, he suddenly realized, no matter how far he had strayed from his father’s love. He was Patrick O’Connor’s son, and for the first time in a very long time, that awareness brought him a sense of pride along with more than a little guilt. He had battled his father at every turn, abandoned his father’s values for those of his own, which in the face of this tragedy, suddenly had no value at all.

Katie pulled back and smiled, wiping her eyes. Gabe approached, and she tucked an arm around the little girl’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to her head. “Come on, Gabe, let’s go annoy Luke.”

Steven watched as they disappeared through the double doors and exhaled slowly. He sat on the edge of the sill and leaned back, head against the window and eyes closed. He was silent for a long moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice sounded as far away as his thoughts. “I don’t know when it all happened, Sean . . . the exact moment when Father and I parted ways.”

His brother’s husky chuckle broke his melancholy. “I’m going to take a shot here and say it was the moment you ruined his best tie for a magic trick with invisible ink.”

Steven actually smiled. He shot a sideways glance at his brother. “To this day, I still don’t know what went wrong. Father threw out that magic book so fast, I didn’t have a chance to figure it out.” His smile faded. “No, I think the rift happened much later . . . when I met Maggie.”

Sean sighed and rested a hip on the sill. “I think you may be right. It’s no secret to any of us that she hasn’t exactly been a great influence on you.”

The muscles in Steven’s stomach tightened, but not like they would have if it had been his father speaking. He studied his older brother through wary eyes, knowing full well that he would listen to what Sean had to say. Eleven years his senior, Sean had always been the anchor in Steven’s world of sisters, a man he could look up to, along with his father. His calm, easy manner, and fun-loving personality always worked wonders in drawing Steven out of his shy and pensive ways, often warding off confrontations between Katie and him.

Steven blew out a blast of air, frustrated that as a man who wanted to live his own life, he was forced to agree that his brother was right. Maggie Kennedy had been anything but good for him over the last two years. She was a rebel of a girl who fit into the wild lifestyle of the twenties as snugly as a hand in a kidskin glove, and yet she drew him like no other woman ever had. Or at least her body drew him, he thought with a wry bent of his lips. Although he knew his moral decline had begun long before Maggie, she had been the one to actually steal his heart – along with his body – making it nearly impossible to turn her away. And there were times when he wanted to – badly – to alleviate the guilt that was eating him raw. The same guilt that flared out of control every time he looked into his father’s face.

“I know,” Steven began, his voice defensive, “but it’s a different world now, Sean, you know that. Women today throw themselves at men, and to be honest, it’s pretty hard to resist.”

Sean folded his arms and leaned back on the sill, long legs crossed and head rested against the glass. “Can’t argue with you there.”

“And let’s face it – there’s no way Father can understand what we’re up against today.”

“He understands more than you think. He wasn’t always married to Mother, you know.”

Steven glanced up. “Oh, yeah, I’ll bet he was a real live wire.”

With a hint of a smile, Sean scratched the back of his head and closed his eyes. “As a matter of fact, Collin told me once that the only reason Father agreed to let him come courting in the first place was because of Mother. Apparently she convinced him that at one time, he’d been just like Collin.”

A smirk lifted Steven’s brow. “You mean lousy at sports?”

Sean grinned. “Nope. An affinity for loose women.”

“No kidding?”

“No kidding. According to Collin, Father’s wild ways caused many a row with his parents.” Sean opened his eyes to look at Steven point blank. “
Especially
his father.”

Steven stared and then broke into a grin. “What goes around comes around, eh?”

“Apparently. Which I suppose is why Father rides you so hard. I think he’s scared silly you won’t end up as lucky as he did in finding a woman like Mother.”

Steven let that sink in and knew that Sean was right. He needed to break it off with Maggie, something he’d known for a while now. Too bad it took a fight with his father to drive it home. A fight that could have taken his father’s life. The reality stung so hard and so fast that Steven jerked to his feet.