A Hope for Hannah (18 page)

“Roy,” Kathy said from across the table.

“But I may not be like Mom,” Hannah said.

“You’re my daughter,” he said, meeting her eyes with a twinkle. “That’s good enough for me. You just trust
Da Hah,
and everything will work out fine.”

Like with Jake being chosen to become a minister?
Hannah wanted to say, but said instead, “I’ll try.”

She knew she would indeed try, though it might be hard. Jake’s ordination had temporarily shaken her confidence in the path
Da Hah
chose for people. He seemed to have a very different point of view from hers.

“Is breakfast ready?” Jake asked, entering the kitchen.

“It’ll be a few more minutes,” Kathy said.

“I thought we’d get an early start on the springhouse,” Jake said to Roy.

“It’s too cold for an early start. I haven’t even had coffee yet,” Roy said in mock grumpiness. “There’s no service around here.”

“Maybe they’d make some for me,” Jake said with a grin.

“I’m sure they would,” Roy said, chuckling at his own joke.

“Oh, you’re both spoiled,” Hannah said.

“You can say that again,” Kathy quickly added.

“We could get started right now and come back in for breakfast when it’s ready,” Jake volunteered.

“I’m not moving without my coffee,” Roy stated, pretending he was fastened to his seat.

For a moment everyone was silent, and then Jake said, “We sure are glad you came when you did. Your being here helped in ways you can’t imagine.”

“That’s nice of you to say, Jake,” Kathy said. “We want you to know we’ll be thinking of you often when we’re home in Indiana.”

“And praying too,” Roy said.

“Now, about breakfast,” Kathy said. “Did you put the meat outside, Hannah?”

“Yes, it’s on the shelf outside.”

Kathy stepped out onto the porch and returned quickly with the bacon and eggs. Hannah started pancake batter. She knew her father would appreciate the gesture on his last morning in Montana.

“Now, if we just had some blueberries for the pancakes,” Roy said while Hannah stirred the bowl.

“Talk about being spoiled,” Kathy chided.

“I wasn’t serious,” Roy said quickly, but Hannah knew he was.

In a few minutes, the meal was ready. They all ate eagerly and enjoyed it when Roy led a short devotion afterward to start the day. Normally Hannah and Jake moved into the living room to start the day with a word of prayer, but today it was Jake who suggested they stay at the table. For some reason Hannah couldn’t figure out, Jake was acting more serious than he had before. It was good, she supposed, but it
was
a change, and just now Hannah wasn’t sure she wanted any more changes. The few recent ones had been quite enough. It was as though the foundations of her world were being tested.

Jake and Roy left to work on the springhouse. Roy wore an extra coat Jake had loaned him. Hannah watched them for a moment as they began work. Then she returned to the kitchen to help Kathy clean up.

Kathy suggested they make cherry pie for the supper at Betty’s, but Hannah thought donuts would be better. So they made both. The donuts were more time-consuming, but Hannah wanted to stay busy. It would take her mind off her worries and the realization that in less than twenty-four hours her parents would be gone.

Around four that afternoon, a little earlier than expected, Betty arrived in the surrey buggy. The men were back in the house, relaxing, the springhouse in fresh repair. Kathy and Hannah walked out to meet Betty in the yard.

“So you believe in entertaining your visitors with drama, I hear,” Betty teased before she had even stepped down from her buggy.

“What are you talking about?” Hannah asked.

“Shooting bears,” Betty said. “Your parents will never come west again!”

“How did you find out about that?” Hannah asked.

“You expect news like that to stay quiet? The whole town’s talking,” Betty replied.

“Oh, no,” Hannah groaned.

“It’ll blow over,” Betty assured her. “Everything does around here. It’s just a little excitement to tide us over until the next little excitement. And, of course, there’s the little excitement that happened Sunday too. That was sure something! Hannah, did you and Jake have any idea?”

“No, we didn’t,” she said. “I still don’t understand how it all happened. Why Jake? He’s so young.”

“I’ve seen it like this before,” Betty said. “So has your mother. A call to the ministry is often a great surprise to the person who receives it, young or not.”

“You wouldn’t have been wishing it was Steve?” Kathy asked skeptically.

“Oh, of course not!” Betty said emphatically. “I was a little worried about it. I shouldn’t have been, I know, but I did lay awake the night before thinking about it. I could never handle such a thing.”

“You could have if it was the will of
Da Hah,”
Kathy said.

“Well, I suppose,” Betty replied, but she didn’t sound convinced. “So how are you holding up?” she asked Hannah.

Hannah shrugged, “It’s a load for Jake. He took it pretty hard.”

“What about you?” Betty asked.

Hannah thought for a moment whether to tell Betty and decided to plunge ahead. She might as well know. “I had been hoping we could move back to Indiana because Jake lost his job and all.”

“Move!” Betty exclaimed. “Surely not.”

Hannah nodded. “It seemed like the right thing to do.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re not,” Betty said. “I mean…that you’re staying here. Then about Sunday, I think God knew what He was doing. He wants you to stay.”

“Apparently He does,” Hannah agreed halfheartedly.

“You’ll see in time,” Betty told her.

Hannah wasn’t so certain about that, but she was glad Betty now knew about her disappointment. Somehow it made her feel a little better, the burden lighter.

“I’ll get Roy, and we’ll be ready,” Kathy said, moving back toward the house. “The young folks can come when they’re ready.”

“Hopefully not too late,” Betty said.

“No,” Hannah said. “We’re ready. I think Jake got Mosey ready before he came in. Didn’t they do a good job on the springhouse? The bear tore it up.”

“Really tore it up,” Kathy added.

“Maybe it was good someone shot it,” Betty said. “It’s the first grizzly I can remember coming down this far.”

“Mr. Brunson will have to pay a big fine,” Hannah said, “and all he was trying to do was help us out.”

“Still he shouldn’t disobey the law, I guess,” Betty said as she climbed back into the buggy.

“I’ll get the pies, and Roy and I will be right there,” Kathy said. “Hannah can bring the donuts.”

“You baked something? You didn’t need to. It’s my supper, after all,” Betty said.

“Well, you didn’t say anything, and we couldn’t just sit around all day.”

“Someone will eat it,” Betty said. “It shouldn’t be me, though.”

“I’ll help you carry the pies out,” Hannah offered as she and Kathy walked together to the house. They loaded the pies and then half of the donuts in Betty’s surrey after it became obvious there was much more room there.

Jake had Mosey hitched by the time the women were done, and the two buggies left together. As they pulled into Betty’s driveway, Hannah was flooded with memories from the summer spent here before her marriage. She wondered why the memories should come tonight. Perhaps God was trying to make things a little easier for her.

That thought brought tears to her eyes, which she hoped Jake wouldn’t notice. He did, but he seemed to understand and gave her a gentle smile. Again it struck her how fast he was changing. His newfound maturity at once comforted her and yet seemed strange, unsettling in a way she would never have imagined.

No one mentioned Sunday all evening, which was fine with Hannah. It was good not to think about it for a while.

They stayed later than Hannah thought they should, remembering that Jake had to drive into Libby the next morning for his new job. But the night was simply a night of family, of reveling in the company of loved ones. On the way home, Hannah felt nothing but peace. She thanked God He had comforted her for one evening at least.

Twenty-one

Hannah woke before the alarm clock went off to the sound of a van motor outside the cabin. Quickly she dressed and went out to find her parents up and the suitcases already loaded.

“We wouldn’t have left without saying good-bye,” Kathy whispered as she gave Hannah a tight hug. “But don’t wake Jake. He has a long first day of work ahead of him. Give him our love…and a hug.”

Hannah nodded. Her father took her hand and squeezed it a moment before letting go.

Hannah watched from the open cabin door as her parents disappeared into the van. The dome light blinked off, and the gravel crunched under the moving vehicle as it made its way out to the main road.

Hannah stood there as the chilly morning air poured in through the door, not wanting to turn back inside just yet. Finally she closed the door with a sigh. A glance at the living room clock told her it was no use going back to bed. She sat down on the couch and cried instead as an awful loneliness swept over her. Then she noticed Jake’s Bible on the floor, the light from the kerosene lamp playing off the black cover and highlighting the gold letters. She thought about reading it—to search for comfort.

The realization that Jake had been reading his Bible the night before held her back. She knew why he had read it, the reason still oppressive. He must have been studying for his first sermon. The book before her was more her enemy than her friend. They had been thrown into a strange, unknown land, and now Jake was willing to venture forward while she was remaining behind.

Jake was walking into this new world alone, and it was up to her to follow if she wished. She felt so alone and even a bit ashamed at the same time.

For a few minutes, Hannah dozed, but she awoke to a fit of sneezing and found some tissue to blow her nose.

Just then Jake came out of the bedroom. “So they’re gone,” he said, placing his hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t hear them leave. I should have gotten up.”

“They didn’t want me to wake you,” Hannah said and then sneezed again. “I’m afraid the cold I was catching earlier is coming back.”

“Maybe you should go back to bed. I can get my breakfast.”

“No, I’ll be fine. I’ll get breakfast for you.”

“Then I’ll get Mosey harnessed,” Jake said as he reached for a gas lantern in the closet. With it lit, he stepped outside and walked toward the barn, the light rising and falling with each step. Hannah took a moment to watch him go, the loneliness heavy again.

I’ll get over it,
she told herself resolutely.
I have Jake and will soon have the baby. And I have Betty. I’ll see Mom and Dad again.
She felt a little better and started breakfast preparations.

Jake soon came back inside, and they ate in silence. Hannah was glad for Jake’s good mood. It offset her own feelings of loneliness and even despair.

With breakfast done, Jake left while it was still dark. He had to be at the hardware store well before it opened. The sound of his buggy wheels soon faded, and Hannah returned to the couch to lay down. Finally her sadness gave way to sleep.

Just before ten she awoke to a wave of guilt. The dishes were still on the kitchen table, and the house was in disarray from her parents’ visit. Jake had never said anything about how she kept house or how clean it was or wasn’t, but she didn’t want to take any chances. She often had visions of Jake growing up in a house kept spotless by the unswerving diligence of his mother. Hannah felt she should equal what he was used to.

Hannah worked as best she could, but by late afternoon she realized her sniffles and sneezes had developed into a full-blown cold. She gave in again to tiredness and was asleep on the couch when an insistent knock awoke her. Thoroughly embarrassed, she saw a buggy in the driveway and hoped it was Betty’s. If it was someone else’s, she didn’t know how she would ever live down the shame of having been caught asleep in the middle of the afternoon. The visitor surely must have seen her through the front window.