A Home for Hannah (16 page)

“It’s been an emotional day. Even that recliner isn’t going to keep me awake tonight.”

Later that night, Miriam woke with a start in the darkness of her mother’s room. She had been dreaming about Hannah. She sat up in the chair to check her mother. Ada was sleeping peacefully. The monitor displaying her vital signs showed they were all normal.

Miriam sat back and closed her eyes, but she couldn’t get Hannah out of her mind. There was no use trying to sleep when seeing the baby was the only thing that would make her feel better.

Miriam softly closed her mother’s door as she left the room. It was after 2:00 a.m. and the hospital corridors were quiet. She took the elevator down one floor and turned left toward the nursery. As she approached the viewing window, she saw a young woman wearing a hospital gown standing in front of the glass. Her hair hung in a long blond braid down her back. She was barefoot and barely looked old enough to be a mother.

When she noticed Miriam approaching, she turned away quickly. Something in her posture made Miriam take a closer look. This wasn’t a new mother happily looking in the window at her baby. This was a girl hoping not to be noticed.

The girl glanced over her shoulder. When she saw Miriam was watching her, she began walking away.

Miriam followed her and called out, “Wait a minute.”

The girl walked faster. Miriam was practically running by the time she caught up with her. Reaching out, Miriam grasped her arm. The girl jerked away with a hiss of pain. It was then Miriam noticed the bandages on each of her wrists.

“I’m so sorry.
Ist es vay?
” Miriam asked with deep concern. The words meant, does it hurt? She wanted to know if what she suspected was true.

Shaking her head, the girl whispered, “Only a little.”

“So you are Amish. I thought so. You must be Mary Smith, although Smith is hardly an Amish name. Why don’t you tell me your real one?”

The girl froze, a look of fear in her eyes. She was so young. Little more than a child herself.

“Don’t be afraid. I’m Miriam Kauffman. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Staring at the floor, Mary remained silent.

“I saw you looking in the nursery window. She’s in there, you know.”

Mary raised her face a fraction. “Who?”

“Hannah. She ended up on my doorstep. Of course, you couldn’t know that.”

“I don’t know anyone named Hannah. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mary began backing away. “I don’t want to get in trouble. I have to go.”

“I’m talking about your baby, Mary. I know you told your boyfriend your baby was stillborn and that’s why people think you tried to commit suicide, but that’s not true.”

“It is true—she’s better off without me.” Mary’s voice was little more than a harsh whisper.

“I understand if you wanted her to have a better life, but I don’t understand why you thought those Miller boys would make good parents. Between the two of them, they don’t have enough sense to come in out of the rain.”

Mary remained silent, but she didn’t move away. Miriam began to hope she was getting through to her. “The only bright thing the twins did was leave the baby on my porch. Luckily, we found her before she got too cold.”

“She shouldn’t have been cold. I wrapped her in a quilt.”

Miriam smiled. “The workmanship is quite lovely. Did you make it?”

“I stole it.” The girl looked ready to bolt.

“With good reason.” Miriam laid a hand on her shoulder in an effort to comfort her. The girl shrugged it off.

“I have to get back.” She turned away and started to open the stairwell door.

“Don’t you want to see her?” Miriam asked. “She’s just down the hall in the nursery.”

Mary froze. After a long moment, she closed her eyes. “I don’t want to see her.”

“Because you know if you do, you’ll never have the strength to leave her again.”

Mary’s chin quivered but she didn’t speak.

Miriam tried once more to comfort her. She gently
brushed a strand of hair behind Mary’s ear. Mary flinched, but allowed the touch. “I feel the same way about her. I had no idea how quickly I could fall in love with that little girl. I had no intention of loving her, but she has a way of looking at you that goes straight to your heart.”

Mary looked up with angry eyes to glare at Miriam. “What do you want?”

“A long time ago, there was another young woman who didn’t want to face being pregnant alone. I stopped her baby’s father from helping her. I was never able to tell them how sorry I was and ask their forgiveness. Helping you and Hannah may just make up for that mistake.”

“You can’t help me.”

“Oh, but I can. I do it all the time. I help young Amish
people just like you to go out into the world.”

“I’ve been out in the world. It’s a bad place.”

“Yes, it can be. Are you hungry?” Miriam glanced at her watch.

Mary looked perplexed, as if she couldn’t follow Miriam’s reasoning. “A little.”

“Good. I believe the cafeteria is open for another half hour.”

“I’m not supposed to leave the floor where my
room is.”

“You already have. I say we eat before we’re caught. Sometimes it’s better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission. I also need to check on my mother before I go. She’s a patient here, too.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Mary glanced back toward the nursery as Miriam led her away.

“She has heart trouble. Having to give up Hannah brought on an attack. She’s better now.”

“Why didn’t they let you keep the baby?”

Miriam pushed the elevator button. “
Englisch
law is a funny thing. It is designed with the best interest of the child at heart. They think Hannah belongs with her mother.”

“But I gave her away. Doesn’t that prove I’m a bad mother?”

The doors opened and Miriam stepped inside. “I guess that would depend on why you left her in an Amish buggy.”

Mary didn’t say anything, but she did enter the elevator.

Miriam breathed a sigh of relief. One small step at a time.

When the doors opened on her mother’s floor, Miriam led the way, giving Mary a chance to follow or leave as she chose. At her mother’s room, she opened the door softly to peek inside. To her surprise, the lights were on and her mother was sitting up in bed with a black knit shawl around her shoulders and her hair done up beneath her crisp white
kapp.

She smiled at Miriam. “Come in. I’ve been waiting for you to come back. Esther Zook hired Samson Carter to bring her for a visit while you were gone yesterday. She brought us a shoofly pie and I feel like having a piece. How about you?”

She leaned forward to see behind Miriam. “Would your friend like some?”

Chapter Fifteen

N
ick glanced from the tearstained face of the night nurse to the furious, red face of Dr. Palmer, the shrink in charge of Mary Smith, to the bulked-up security guard standing with his massive arms crossed. They were all trying to talk at once. Nick held up his hand to stop them. “You’re saying she just walked out of this building and no one saw her leave?”

First he finds Hannah’s mother and then he loses her again. This was starting out to be a bad day, and it was only four in the morning.

The nurse said quickly, “I can assure you, Sheriff, this has never happened before on our floor. The sitter staying with Mary Smith says she only nodded off for a few seconds. When she looked up, Mary was gone.”

“She vanished from the entire hospital in seconds. I doubt that,” Dr. Palmer grumbled.

“Either way, she’s missing. What about Hannah?” Nick asked quickly.

The security officer said, “The nursery says she’s fine. I called them first thing.”

Relieved, Nick nodded. “I’ll get an APB out on Mary Smith right away.” He spoke into his radio and ordered the all points bulletin for a white female, approximately five foot tall with long blond hair, wearing a hospital gown when last seen.

There was little else he could do at the moment. He looked to Dr. Palmer. “Did you tell her that we have her baby?”

“I did.”

“And what did she say?”

“Nothing. She still won’t speak to me or to the staff.”

“Any idea what would make her cut out? Was her boyfriend in to see her?”

The nurse shook her head. “No one has been to see her.”

“That you know of,” Dr. Palmer snipped.

Nick turned to the security officer. “Organize a search of the entire building, every broom closet and storage room. I want the security camera footage of the doors reviewed to see if she actually left.”

“Will do.” The burly man walked away, talking into his radio.

Nick said, “I’ll be in the cardiac care unit if you need me.” Miriam would want to know what had happened. She dealt with runaway teenagers all the time. Maybe she would have some insight that would be helpful in locating Mary Smith.

And maybe he just needed to see her again.

When he reached Ada’s room, he paused outside the door. He didn’t want to wake her or frighten her. He eased the door open to see if he could catch Miriam’s attention. Instead of a dark room, he saw all the lights were on and the sound of Amish chatter filled the air. He stepped inside.

Ada was propped up in bed and involved in telling a story. Mary Smith sat cross-legged at the end of Ada’s bed, a bright smile on her face. Miriam sat in a chair beside her mother and a nurse’s aide sat in the recliner with a piece of pie on a paper plate.

Mary Smith saw him first. Her eyes went wide with fright. Miriam, seeing her distress, turned around. She waved at him. “Hi, Nick. Care for some shoofly pie? We have one piece left, but I’m afraid it’s a small one.”

Miriam turned back to Mary. “Don’t worry, he’s one of the good guys.”

“Flattering as it is to hear you admit that, Miriam, can I ask what’s going on here? Do you know that I have every officer in the county on the lookout for Ms. Smith?”

“Don’t be silly, Nick. How could we know that? We’ve been in here since two-thirty.”

“Having a party?”

Mary slid off the bed and spoke to Miriam in Pennsylvania Dutch. Miriam shook her head. The nurse’s aide finished her last bite of pie and said, “I’ve got to get going. Thanks for the pie. It was great.”

She had a faint German accent and Nick took her to be another ex-Amish. He stepped aside so she could slip out the door with a sheepish look on her face. He flipped the switch on his radio and canceled the APB, then he took a seat in the recliner. “What have I missed?”

Miriam brought him a thin slice of pie and said, “Mary Smith is really Mary Shetler, she’s fifteen, not nineteen and Kevin isn’t her husband or Hannah’s father. Hannah’s father is a married man in Canton. Hannah was working as a maid there and he seduced her. She ran away because she couldn’t go back to her family. Her mother had passed away and her stepfather wasn’t happy about having another mouth to feed. Mary hooked up with Kevin because he promised to take care of her, but he’s into drugs and not a nice man. Mary thinks he’s a drug runner. Each week he makes a trip to Canada.”

Miriam paused to look over at Mary for confirmation. Mary nodded and fixed her gaze on her bare feet.

“That’s a very interesting story. What I want to know is why Mary left her baby in the back of a buggy?”

Miriam scowled at him, but returned to her chair and waited for Mary to speak.

“Kevin wanted to sell the baby.” Mary’s voice trembled with fear.

“We told you he wasn’t a nice man,” Ada added. “That’s all right, child. Tell your story.”

Mary smiled at her and stood straighter. “He said we could get a lot of money for a baby like mine. I was scared he would go through with it and I wouldn’t be able to stop him.”

“He can’t hurt either of you now,” Ada assured her.

Mary nodded. “I took the baby and put her in the Amish buggy because I didn’t want her to grow up in the
Englisch
world. I knew she would be safe with a good Amish family if I couldn’t return. I left a note to tell them I’d be back for her. I needed time to get enough money to get away.”

She fell silent and Nick said, “When they didn’t return with her the next week, what happened?”

“I...I tried to be strong, but I knew I’d never see her again. Not knowing where she was, if she was safe—I couldn’t stand it.”

“Did you slash your own wrists?” Miriam asked gently.

She nodded as tears ran down her cheeks.

Nick couldn’t begin to understand what this girl had been through. He was only grateful that she had survived. One thing was certain. He’d make it his business to see that Kevin was brought to justice. “Will you testify to Kevin’s intentions in a court of law? Can you give me the names of the people he was working with?”

Ada said, “We must forgive him. It is up to God to judge.”

Miriam laid a hand on Mary’s shoulder. “We do forgive, but we must also care for those who can’t take care of themselves. Kevin may try to do this to another woman and her baby.”

Mary looked at Nick and nodded. “I have names. I’ll testify.”

Miriam hugged her. “Now, you must grow strong because your baby is going to need you.”

* * *

It took a long, hard week of police work, but Kevin Dunbar was finally behind bars in Nick’s jail, and there wouldn’t be any bail this time. It was with intense satisfaction that Nick closed and locked the cell door.

He returned to his office and started to pick up the phone. He hadn’t seen Miriam since her mother was dismissed from the hospital the day after Mary Shetler told her story. It had been far too long as far as he was concerned.

His secretary came in. “Sheriff, I took a message from Helen Benson. She wanted you to know that Hannah has been returned to the temporary custody of her mother. Hannah’s case will remain open and the mother has to continue with her counseling but Helen is hopeful that Mary Shetler will be granted full custody in the future.”

“Thanks. That’s good news.” It was for Mary and Hannah, but not for Miriam and Ada. Instead of the phone, he picked up his car keys. He’d rather deliver this news and his other news in person.

It took him thirty minutes to reach the turnoff to the Kauffman place. When he did, he saw Bishop Zook coming down the lane in his black buggy. Nick pulled to the side of the lane and waited.

When the bishop drew alongside, Nick rolled down his window. “Afternoon, Bishop. I hope all is well at the Kauffman place.”

“All is better than well, Nicolas, for a lost sheep has returned to the fold. I performed a baptism this day. There is nothing but rejoicing in our hearts when such an event is brought about by God’s mercy. I can’t remember the last time I saw Ada so happy. I must get going, Sheriff, for I have cows that need milking and I have good news to spread.” He tipped his hat and slapped the reins on his horse’s rump. The mare trotted away, leaving Nick staring after the bishop in shock.

Miriam had been baptized into the Amish faith? Perhaps he should have seen it coming, but he hadn’t. Not now, not when he was so certain they had a chance to be together.

He drove slowly up to the house thinking of all the lost chances he’d had to tell her how much he loved her.

He spotted Miriam hanging laundry on the clothesline beside the house. His heart turned over at the sight of her the way it always did and probably always would. He’d gained her forgiveness and opened the door for her to return to her Amish roots. He wanted to be happy for her, but he wasn’t ready for that. The pain of loving her and losing her all over again was too new and two raw.

She waved when she spotted him and walked toward him with a laundry hamper balanced against one hip. She wore a dark blue dress with the long sleeves rolled up and an apron tied around her waist. A white kerchief covered her gorgeous hair. Her smile was bright and open, the way he remembered it when she was young. It was good to see her happy.

One of them deserved to be happy.

He got out of the car and waited with his hands thrust into the front pockets of his jeans.

“Nick, I was hoping to see you. I have so much to tell you that I hardly know where to begin.” She stopped a few feet away. When he didn’t respond, her smile faded, as if she was uncertain of her welcome.

He couldn’t wish her happy when she was breaking his heart.

“I just stopped in to say goodbye and see how your mother is doing.”

She frowned slightly. “What do you mean you stopped in to say goodbye?”

“There are some trout waiting patiently for me to toss my hand-tied flies close enough to bite.” Maybe wading in the swirling waters might help him forget the way she felt in his arms. The way he wanted to kiss her, even now, when he knew it was wrong.

Relief filled her eyes. “I forgot, you have a vacation pending. You deserve some time off after all you have done for us.”

“How is your mother?”

“The stent has helped enormously with her energy level and her new medication is working. She is happy as a lark and bossing everyone around again.”

“I’m glad.” He braced himself to say what he didn’t want to say. “I’m glad, too, that you have found your heart’s desire, Miriam. It means a lot to me to know that you are happy and at peace. I wish only the best for you.”

“You sound so serious. Is something wrong?” Worry crept into her eyes once more.

Didn’t she know how he felt? “Did you think this would be easy for me? I wish you had told me yourself instead of letting me hear it from the Bishop Zook.”

“I thought you would be happy with my decision.”

He took a deep breath and tried to disguise the hurt in his voice. “I will try to be happy for you, Miriam. Goodbye.”

He turned back and started to open the car door. She dropped her laundry basket and stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

“Okay, I really didn’t expect you would jump for joy, but I thought you’d be a little more enthusiastic. Tell me why you’re unhappy about this?”

The warmth of her hand on his bare skin crumbled his defenses. “Do you really need to ask that?”

She stepped closer. “Apparently I do. Talk to me, Nick.”

He closed his eyes. “I have loved you since I was twenty years old. I have never stopped loving you. I kept silent back then because I knew how much your faith meant to you. I could not ask you to choose me over your relationship with God. After Mark’s death, it was almost a relief to realize how much you hated me. It made it easier to stay away from you. I’m glad you have returned to the Amish life, Miriam, but it will never be easy for me to stay away from you.”

He felt her hands cup his face. Years of pent-up longing broke free and tears squeezed out from beneath his lashes. “I love you so much, Miriam.”

“And I love you, Nicolas Bradley. I don’t know where you got the idea that I have returned to my Amish roots, but you are grossly mistaken. I have no plans to leave my
Englisch
life.”

His eyes popped open and he focused on her face so close to his. “Bishop Zook said everyone, particularly your mother, is rejoicing because the lost lamb has been returned to the fold. I thought he was talking about you.”

“He was not talking about me. He was talking about Mary Shetler. She is the one who has returned to the fold. Yes, my mother is happy because she has a new daughter and a new granddaughter to help rear. That’s the news I wanted to tell you. Mary and Hannah have moved in with me and my mother.”

Unable to contain his joy, Nick pulled Miriam against his chest in a crushing hug. “Oh, thank you, God, for taking pity on this man. Thank you, God.”

Miriam pulled her arms free of his grip and then slipped them around his neck. “I thank God daily for bringing you back into my life. I have been so blessed.” Rising up on tiptoe, she kissed him as he had dreamed she would one day.