A Hero for Her Heart (Truly Yours Digital Editions Book 885) (12 page)

She leaned back and looked up. She was so close he could see the kaleidoscope of shades that made up her green eyes.

“Thank you.” She cast her gaze downward. “I don’t really know you, but for some reason, I keep thinking I can trust you.”

Derrick’s heart pounded at Allie’s words. She’d let down her walls, but he didn’t deserve her trust. He slid his hand behind her neck. She glanced up at him, and her sweet breath feathered the corner of his mouth. He blocked the voice in his head urging him to tell her the truth. Leaning closer, he shut his eyes, touched his lips to hers.

Allie slipped her arms around his neck, and he held tighter to this woman who’d turned his world upside down.

He owed her the truth. But what about Danny? Sandy? Derrick pulled back, brushed his hands over her hair. “Allie,” he whispered. “I. . .”

She nodded and closed her eyes, obviously thinking he was asking permission to kiss her again.

He proceeded to do so, and his runaway fervor shook him to his core.

Allie stepped back, and the expression on her face mirrored his infatuation. Surprise and wonder and. . .alarm.

She looked away first. “We should go back. I have work to do.”

“Right.” Derrick’s hands slid from her shoulders, down her arms. He released her and instantly regretted severing their physical contact. “Good idea.”

The ride home was quiet except for an occasional bird song and the twigs snapping beneath the horses’ hooves. He had almost told her the truth. Only the kiss had prevented a confession from spilling from his lips.

They reached the barn, and Allie stared straight ahead. Her walls were back up. As were his own. He couldn’t allow the intimacy to ever happen again. He had to honor what his sister asked, and his respect for Allie had to override what stirred in his heart.

Allie dismounted without a glance his way. He helped her remove the tack, then they quietly brushed the horses, avoiding being near each other.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, unable to bear the silence.

She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault.” She glanced at him. “I’m not upset, I’m confused. I don’t know what to think.” She stepped backward. “I’ll see you tonight at the party.”

As she walked away, Derrick’s heart felt like it had collapsed on itself and become a black hole. What had he been thinking kissing her? The relationship could go nowhere.

Lord, what am I doing here? Why can’t I just walk away?

Thirteen

Allie clutched a bundle of check stubs in her fisted hand and paced her bedroom. Why had she chosen the day of Danny’s party to clean out the file drawer in her office? How she wished she’d never come across Luke’s check stubs, hidden at the back of the bottom drawer behind their old financial records. Luke had handled the finances; she’d never had reason to go there. . . .

How was she going to tell her mother?

Allie went to her bed, lifted the mattress, and stuffed the evidence deep in the crevice. Her own brother. . . And to finally know why they were flat broke now. He’d been paying money to Paige Maynard. The amounts weren’t huge, but over a period of years they added up to a hefty sum. Why had he been paying her?

The most likely scenario. . .

Allie closed her eyes and pressed her hand to her thudding heart. Could it have anything to do with Danny? His adoption? No. Danny’s adoption was paid for years ago. What about an affair? Nothing else made sense. Back in high school, Luke had a thing for Paige, and Cindy, even in jest, had shown jealousy. Luke would scoff at the idea of it. Was that an act?

The thought of Luke cheating on Cindy—and with Paige Maynard of all women—made her stomach churn.

Allie went to the vanity, looked into the old glass mirror, and ran her index finger over her lips. Her intense state of shock must’ve driven her into Derrick’s arms today. The old glass mirror darkened her reflection, and she closed her eyes and relived Derrick’s kiss. Romantic. Tender. Like a whisper, yet tingly. The setting had been perfect. When she was a teenager with the whole world ahead of her, naive about the future, she’d often ridden to the pond with a book of poetry to read and a notebook of poems she’d written. She’d imagine the man she would marry, living on the farm, maybe in the cottage.

That young girl still lived inside her, and she struggled against the cynical woman she had become.
But I have to protect myself. . .don’t I?

She heard gentle tapping at the door. “Allie?”

She spun away from the mirror. “Shannon. Come in.”

Her wacky friend opened the door, and Allie smiled at Shannon’s outfit—a gaudy peasant dress in reds and earth tones accessorized by her ever-present silver rings, bracelets, and chunky necklace.

“Vintage?” Allie asked, pointing at her outfit.

“Yeah.” Shannon turned, and the gauzy material swirled around her ankles. “I found a bunch of stuff at an estate sale a couple days ago.”

“Very nice.” The simplest pleasures made Shannon happy. Allie had often wished she was more like her friend. Content with the smallest things instead of so intense—so “on” all the time.

“I thought so, too.” Shannon flicked back her hair and dropped onto Allie’s bed. “Are you looking forward to our retreat this coming week?”

Allie nodded, although going away for several days seemed so unwise right now.

“What else is going on?”

Too much to tell. “Why does something have to be going on?”

“ ‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of Being and ideal Grace.’ Elizabeth Barrett Browning.” Shannon laughed. “A book of love poems
and
your Bible open on your bed stand. One of your poetry journals next to them. You’re wearing your most favorite dress in the whole world, and you’re makeup looks like it did when we drove to Portland and had that lady at the cosmetics counter do us up.”

Allie blinked. “Wow. You’re right.”

“Has he kissed you yet?”

No, she’d kissed him first. “You are way too nosy.” Allie paced the room.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Shannon lounged on her elbow. “As much as I like Derrick, I think you need to slow down.”

“What?” Allie barked out a laugh. “You telling the tortoise she needs to move slower?”

“Yes,” Shannon conceded. “I guess you’re right. You are slow.” She sat straight on the edge of the bed and studied her face. “You both have walls up. I know where your walls come from and why they’re there, but his. . .”

“What are you telling me?” Allie’s face heated. “You’re not going to start up with the body language stuff, are you?”

“All I’m saying is that it wouldn’t hurt to find out a bit more about Derrick.” Shannon got to her feet. “Come on, gorgeous. People will be arriving soon.”

❧

Allie answered the front door, and her breath caught. She stared up at Derrick, speechless.

He stood there in a light denim shirt and dark blue jeans holding Danny’s wrapped present and looking wary. “Am I too early?”

She touched her lips. Could she forget his kiss ever happened and at least make a pretense of nonchalance?

“I’m sorry. Come in, of course.” She had trouble meeting his eyes, turned her back to him, and proceeded down the hall.

Derrick caught her by the arm. “I’m early because I want to talk to you alone.”

Alone? Could she trust herself? She turned and finally met his dark gaze.

“Can you come outside? For a minute?”

She hesitated, then nodded. Derrick stepped back and allowed her to go ahead of him. The scent of his cologne made her long for his nearness. One more hug. . .another kiss. . .

“Listen, Allie.”

They stood on the front porch, and she couldn’t look him in the eye again. Instead she stared at the Blue Mountains.

Derrick touched her arm. “I’m sorry about what happened today. I want you to know it won’t happen again. I promise.”

Ouch! As much as she appreciated his honesty, it stung.

Derrick cleared his throat. “I’m no more ready for a relationship than you are.”

“Direct and to the point. I admire that.” Her hard shell thawed a bit, and with that came a smile. “It wasn’t just you, Derrick. I was a willing participant, if not the one who initiated—”

“Hmm.” His lips lifted in a half smile. “Let’s just say we were both willing participants and leave it at that.” He drew a deep breath. “Can we be friends? Pretend this afternoon didn’t happen?”

She laughed, part of her wishing he’d declare his ever-lasting love, the other part knowing what he said was for the best—especially with Shannon’s warning ringing in her head. “Yes. I agree. And this is Danny’s birthday party. I want to enjoy myself.”

“Good. I do, too.” Derrick directed his hundred-watt smile her way, which threatened to be her undoing. Her insides turned to melting butter, and her knees weakened.

“I have another idea,” Allie said. “Why don’t I take you to Bright’s tomorrow? I owe you some candy.”

After the words left her mouth, she wanted to kick herself. Spending more time with Derrick was dangerous on her emotions. Her heart leaped while she waited for his response.

“Tomorrow?”

Allie caught sight of Michael pulling up in his BMW, and new worries knotted her insides.

Derrick turned to follow her gaze, then looked back at her.

“Are you two—”

“No. No way.” Her emotions must be so obvious. Now that Derrick had handed her the friend card, she may as well come out with the humiliating admission. “Michael and I were engaged. He cheated on me, then decided he wanted me back.”

“He was a fool,” Derrick blurted, and the words seemed to come from his heart. “Do you want to go back with him?”

Michael got out of the car, slammed the door, and walked toward them, a scowl on his face.

“No.” Allie shook her head. “I can’t abide lying.”

A flicker of tension crossed Derrick’s face. “Um, I’ll leave you here. It appears Michael’s not in the best frame of mind, and having another man with you isn’t going to help matters.”

Derrick disappeared into the house, shutting the door firmly before she could ask him to stay. Michael walked up the porch steps.

“Are you dating him?” He blew out a breath and strummed his fingers on his thighs.

“You can’t say hello before you give me the third degree?” She was suddenly shaking. “I’ve had a long day. I don’t need—”

“How can we talk? Whenever I see you lately, Owens is by your side.”

The door opened again.

“Allie?” Shannon’s voice came from behind her. “We need instructions to finish getting ready.”

“Oh sure.” Allie gestured for Michael to go inside. “I’m done talking. I don’t owe you any explanations,” she whispered to him. “This is Danny’s birthday party, and he’s the focus. If you must have a discussion with me, we’ll do it later.”

Michael opened his mouth as if to argue, then clamped it shut. He stepped into the house, and she followed. Waves of bitterness emanated from him, and she sent up a silent prayer that Danny wouldn’t sense the hostility.

“Okay, more guests will be arriving soon,” Allie said with false cheer. “Let’s get ready to party.”

Shannon gave her a thumbs-up. Allie smiled, looked across the room, and met Derrick’s gaze head-on. All tension drained from her, replaced by the foolish thought that everything would be all right as long as Derrick was around.

Derrick returned her smile, and she was totally entranced by everything about him. He studied her frankly, and his gaze dropped from her eyes to her lips.

At that moment she knew. She and Derrick could never be “just friends.”

❧

After Danny opened his presents, Michael announced he had to leave.

Good. Derrick slid a glance to the front door where Allie stood with Maynard. He’d like to speak with Maynard alone someday, grab him by his scrawny neck for hurting Allie.

No. That was the old Derrick. God had been working on his heart, and He was faithful to finish the good work He’d started in him. Plus, who was he to judge Maynard? Derrick hadn’t been exactly up-front.

An hour later, everyone else had left. Danny tugged on his shirtsleeve. “Mr. Derrick! Can you stay and watch me play the game you gave me?”

“Did you ask Aunt Allie and Granny if it would be okay?”

Danny waved his hand. “Of course it’s okay. They don’t care about stuff like that.”

“You sure?” Derrick laughed. Danny had the run of the house for sure. He followed the boy into the den.

Danny settled beside him on the sofa, his thumbs already working the handheld game system controls. “My friends have this game. It’s awesome. Thank you.”

Derrick wished more than anything he could sit with Danny like this every night. After only a few minutes, Danny yawned. “I’m tired, Mr. Derrick.” He swiped his eyes.

“Me, too.” Derrick tapped him on the shoulder. “Did you have a good birthday?”

“Yeah. Really good, but. . .” Danny coughed, got up, and went to the bookcase. “I miss my. . .”

“What’s wrong, Spiderman?” Derrick moved to the end of the sofa cushion. “You crying?”

Danny shrugged, swiped his hand across his eyes, then pulled an album from the shelf. “This is my first birthday without my mom and dad.”

Yes, of course. The thought hadn’t crossed Derrick’s mind. “I’m sorry, Danny. Do you need to talk about them?”

Danny shrugged again. “Not much to say, really. They’re dead. I know I’ll see them again in heaven, but sometimes I miss them a lot. I want a mom and dad.”

He studied his precious nephew, at a loss for words. What could he say to such raw emotion?

Danny opened the album and pointed to a photo. “This is them and me. Last year.”

“Look at you on that roller coaster!” Derrick fake punched Danny in the shoulder. “Even I’m scared to go on those big rides.”

Laughing through his tears, Danny punched Derrick back, and Derrick wrapped his arm around the boy’s thin shoulders. “You’re a chicken,” Danny hiccuped. “I thought heroes were never chickens.”

“Every hero has at least one flaw. Remember that.” His heart broke for Danny’s pain. “And your parents looked like a happy couple. You must’ve had lots of fun with them.”