Read A God Against the Gods Online
Authors: Allen Drury
Amonhotep III
(life, health, prosperity!)
No. No.
No!
But it is happening! Oh, by the gods, it is happening! How awful, how awful! Oh no, no, no!
***
Tiye
My son, my son! Oh! My son!
***
Aye
Ah, you must not—must not—ah, Son of the Sun, what madness are you—
***
Mutemwiya
Child, child! Oh, awful, awful! The horrors you will bring upon this House! Oh, Majesty, Majesty, please—
***
Nefertiti
Kill him!
KILL HIM!
***
Aanen
—Ahhh …
***
Amonhotep,
Son of Hapu
It is very still. The campfires are out. No sound comes from the crowded riverbank, the silent river, the once more empty plain. Khons rides above in his silver boat, carrying the souls of the dead through the night sky. It as though the mad dream had never happened, but indeed it has. Khons carries one more passenger tonight, and the world of Kemet is no more the same.
I could not believe my eyes. I could not believe my eyes. Around me the Family and the Court stood thunderstruck, across the vast crowded expanse a moan of horror swept from end to end. Aanen died as he had lived, still screaming imprecations against his nephew. But this time there will be no amends made to Amon, no apologies to the world. Nefer-Kheperu-Ra rules supreme in this hour and no man, not even his father, his fellow god, dares raises his voice to challenge him.
I am growing old in the service of this House. Already I am fifty-four, and I have seen too much already. What more shall I see? What more do I
want
to see? Nothing again such as I have seen today, believe me. Yet I think I may, before the rule of this Good God, and
his
god, is done.
Somewhere down the years we have lost Nefer-Kheperu-Ra: “Akhenaten.” (I wonder how long it will be before that name comes naturally to the tongue? Probably not too long: men adapt to the vagaries of gods, and this one is determined that they will adapt to his.) Whether the murder of his uncle was the wild decision of the moment or a deliberately planned act of policy we will never know, for he will never tell us. But in two awful minutes it has taken Kemet far, very far, in the direction he wants it to go. It has implanted great fear in the land. Whether in time he can translate that fear into love and the basis of a lasting rule, we shall have to see. In time the people, shocked, may change and come willingly his way. But the shock is presently so great that this may never be.
He professes peace: he takes the sword—Kaires’ sword. And that one, poor shattered friend, must somehow find within himself the strength to put it all aside, perform his duties, and go on. He will do so, I think, for Kaires has strength—great strength, which this Pharaoh can appreciate when he bends it to his own purposes. May he appreciate it also should it turn against him, for that, too, may come to pass. If it does, will he bend in turn, and adapt and be wise? If not, I fear for him, for Kaires’ strength is very great.
I wonder, now, if Akhenaten
is
wise. It has been customary in the Family and in the land to refer to him as a youth of great intelligence. So, basically, he is. But with it, maturity, judgment, soundness? Increasingly in recent years I have not been so sure. I am not sure at all, now. The Aten has claimed him, and he may already be so far lost in dream that he can never return again to the ways of men—or even of gods, as Kemet has known them.
One thing is certain: he can never return again to the ways of Amon, for Amon will never forgive what has been done this day. He may not, as he says, directly attack Amon again, but in this one act he has done enough to guarantee that someday, when the chance comes right, Amon will attack him. It may be long in coming, but it will come, for Amon does not forget. From this day Akhenaten must be on guard. As one who still manages to find in my heart a continuing affection for him, I hope for his sake this may always be so. For now there is war, though he may choose to pretend it does not exist, and may wish to fight no further battles in it.
He has his “wonders,” and he has his city. At dawn when Ra, whom we of the Court must now call Aten, first begins to spread his light in the east, the work begins. Bek—his helper Tuthmose—myself, who will be in charge of much of the work—have given the orders, we have mustered the men. Six hours from now we venture out upon the plain, and starting from the great altar at the center (the sands in front of it long since drawn carefully over to conceal the blood), we will build outward in all directions until such time as the city is completed. He wants it in two years or less: if we are lucky we may have it for him in three. All is ready. We will proceed. Akhet-Aten will become reality and occupy the plain.
With it will come many problems, and already my half brother Ramose, still Vizier of Upper Kemet and still worrying endlessly in his conscientious fashion, has begun to fret about them. He, too, has responsibilities: housing and feeding the many thousands of workmen who will build this place, bringing here from Thebes the craftsmen and artisans who will work at our direction to beautify and embellish the city, establishing the quarters where the priests of the Aten—for here, surely, there will be many—will live. Stores, supplies, granaries—foodshops, workshops, wineshops—all the small necessary accompaniments of daily life—Ramose and his scribes with their never ending records will have much to do to keep track of them all. It is no small project to change the capital of a country from its old, established place to another as yet unbuilt. It is, in fact, revolution.
Thus have we wrought with Nefer-Kheperu-Ra “Akhenaten,” we who have always prided ourselves that we were teaching him to be a good Pharaoh worthy of the House of Thebes and a Good God worthy of the land he was born to rule. It is not what we intended, but though we thought we knew him, of course we did not. No one does, save perhaps Nefertiti—or, I suppose, I should say “Nefer-Neferu-Aten.” And I doubt that she does, though she must convince herself of it to be able to stay by his side.
And still I cannot find it in my heart to abandon him, any more than she can. Not only because he has asked me to stay with him here in the new capital, but because I find myself bound to him by strong ties of concern, affection and, yes, love.
In spite of what he has done this day, he is very vulnerable, our Akhenaten. To those of us who have been close to him in the past twenty years he is not the fearsome Pharaoh Kemet now believes him, although of course he could, if he wished, have our heads in a moment, too, just as he had Aanen’s. He is a god, and no power on earth could stop him should he turn against us. But although it now appears more dangerous to be subject to his will, actually, for myself, and I think for the others, it is not. There is a certain element of playing with fire, of lying down with lions, but we feel, perhaps mistakenly, that he likes us too well for us to be afraid. He did not like Aanen, and with good cause: none of us did. Aanen invited disaster and he got it. Akhenaten does not feel that way about us. And even if he did, we would still pity him and, perhaps with a curiously willing compliance, accept whatever fate he might decree for us.
“We would still pity him.” That, I think, is the key to it. He has been through so much in his twenty years. He began his life so beautifully, he was such a handsome, well-favored lad, everything was moving so smoothly and perfectly for him toward a great and happy reign—and then came the dreadful illness, and with it disfigurement, grotesquerie, disaster, pain—an outward and inner hurt from which he has never recovered, and from which, I think, he never will recover. It is not surprising, perhaps, that he should have turned away from the gods who did this to him and turned to a new god he could not consider responsible. It is not surprising that he should wish for all his people the comfort and apparent peace of mind that worship of the bright and open Aten seems to have given to him.
No, I shall not abandon Akhenaten. I look back upon him across the distance of thirty-four years between our ages, and I think: he needs me. He is still, inside, the lonely, frightened boy who sat at my knee to learn the art of the scribe and bombarded me with questions about Kemet and the gods. In some way apart from ceremony, he is not Pharaoh to me: he is almost one of my sons.
He confronts us, and the Two Lands, with a great challenge: we must keep his revolution within bounds. We cannot do it by abandoning him. We must stay close, and soften and gentle where we can.
I stand here in the silent night staring out across the haunted plain where in six hours’ time a great city will begin to rise, and I am not so sure that he is wrong in his worship of the Aten. Amon is old and dark, threatening and fearsome. Perhaps it is time for a gust of fresh air to blow through Kemet. Perhaps it is time for a new light to shine upon the world.
I shall not abandon Akhenaten, though there may be some who will. I shall accept his revolution, observe it, try to understand it—and direct it where and if I have the opportunity, into safe channels. The death of Aanen was a shocking spectacle, but it was caused by the fierce and much-provoked anger of the moment. It does not change him inside. And though, like all, I never expect to know all that is inside, what I do know leads me to decide in his favor.
I pray for him and for Kemet that all will go well for him. Aye is beside him; I am; Kaires, I think, will be, once he has recovered from this day’s deed. Nefertiti (I shall probably never be able to use the new construction of her name: that is too bizarre) will be beside him; his daughters; even, I think, though with many misgivings, Pharaoh and the Great Wife. And perhaps, in time, his people, too, though for the moment they tremble with fear of him from one end of Kemet to the other.
We must go with him. There is no choice.
Now all is still: at dawn his city rises.
His “wonders” are just beginning.
We must welcome them willingly if we would not lose him altogether and drive him irretrievably down pathways most awful for the Two Kingdoms and for him.
***
Ramesses
He sits beside me in the tent and shivers. Waves of shivers pass across his body. Sweat drips from his forehead. His hands are clenched, his eyes staring. From time to time he mumbles something incoherent, and now and again, with an almost animal groan, he drives the fist of one hand against the fist of the other. Terrible grimaces come and go. He rocks with anguish. I try to comfort him but I do not know what to do. I do not know what to say. Never have I seen my friend Kaires in such a state.
***
Kaires
Ah, I wish that I were dead,
dead like Aanen
!
I deserve it, I deserve it! I am in some other world, not this. Gray mists swirl though my head. Red haze—red, red, red, like blood!—covers my eyes. I see it—I see it! His face, contorted, hangs before me in the air. I raise my sword!—I strike!—his skull splits asunder!—he collapses on the sand! Red haze—red haze. I wish that I were dead.
Dead like Aanen!
I deserve it. Ah, I deserve it!
Poor Ramesses does not know what to make of me. Is this his old friend, veteran of so many years in the army together? Is this he who has fought in Kush and against the Hittites on the borders of Hatti, who has killed men before at his Pharaoh’s bidding and in his Pharaoh’s cause?
Yes, it is he.
But never before such a Pharaoh.
Never before such a cause …
It repeats itself incessantly in my mind, I cannot stop it. Not just the death but what went before. Not just my sword slashing the sweltering air until it collides with brains and flesh and a mass of resistance suddenly sagging and lifeless, but the eyes of Akhenaten—our terrible look, binding us together in blood and brotherhood, trust and mistrust, love and hatred, forever and ever, for millions and millions of years … until one of us breaks permanently the will of the other, as he broke mine this day, and as someday I will break his.
What is he, this strange boy? He is twenty, I am thirty-five. For fifteen years I have been “big brother” to him and his wife. I have played with them as babies, been their companion in childhood’s adventures, served them loyally since they became Co-Regent and Chief Wife. And in gratitude for all this, it is me he turns to when it comes time to murder his uncle—and mine. What is he? Who is he? Who will ever know?
In one way, I suppose, I should be flattered and pleased that instinctively, in his blind rage and desperate anger, he should have turned to me to do his deed for him. At least it shows that I am so much a part of him that even in his blindest and most unthinking moment he automatically calls on me as the one he can trust to do his bidding. I suppose I should be flattered at such terrible proof of confidence. I think I should have been happy could I have been relieved of such trust before it became too late!
Yet must I be honest here, though my head grows dizzy with the effort: I wanted his trust. I have deliberately sought it out, all his life. I have made it my constant and undeviating purpose to rise to stand at his right hand. I have done so. Would I have not made the bargain had I known from the beginning the price it would exact? The answer springs from my
ba
and
ka
,
the very soul and essence of my being: of course I would, for I have ever been determined to rise.
But even so:
This
price? This I had not bargained for.…
He knew, however, that I would do it. I think even in that wild, blazing moment when he was blind with rage and scarcely thinking at all, I am sure he knew that I would do it. Our eyes locked and for a moment made even more terrible by our joint knowledge that I might just—just—
not
do his bidding, our
kas
intermingled and became almost one in a furious battle of wills that no one else in all the world could see. And I gave in and killed the screaming fool who presumed to threaten Pharaoh, as all who threaten Pharaoh must be killed … if they are such fools as to do it openly. And thus did I join him in bringing horror and fear to Kemet, which has been free of them for many years.
The gray mists swirl, the red haze comes: there are moments when I cannot think at all. I see it! I cannot think at all.…
But these moments pass, though I continue to rock from side to side and Ramesses does not know that my mind is working again. It is best he should not know, dull, lovable, faithful Ramesses whom I have brought with me in my rise and whom I shall take with me even higher someday, perhaps. He is a contented soul, with his placid wife Sitra and their bright little son Seti, whose obvious brilliance must be some mysterious joke of the gods, his parents are so decent and so dull. But Ramesses would kill for me as I have killed for Akhenaten, I know that. The only difference between us is that he would not even pause to think about it. He would shrug and smile and wipe his sword and go on. My curse—as it is my blessing, of course—is that I think. Therefore I need a Ramesses. Does Akhenaten need a Kaires?
And does
that
matter?
Kaires needs an Akhenaten.
That is more to the point.
I think, now, that I must begin to follow my own purposes more. My old friend Amonhotep, Son of Hapu, told me that I have them, on that long-ago day in Thebes when a death and two births shook the Eighteenth Dynasty. New come to the City of Amon, an innocent in the Two Lands, I did not know then what he already shrewdly suspected: That my love for Kemet would make me increasingly impatient, over the years; that it would make me more and more desirous that I move into positions from which I could have something to say about that rule; that I should seek power in the land that I may do good in the land. He knew then, wise Amonhotep, Son of Hapu, and he has helped and encouraged me ever since. “I am old,” he has said, very often. “You are young, Kaires. Kemet needs you and you must work always for Kemet. You are young, and there is time.”
But I am not young any longer, and time may no longer be my friend. Now I must begin to take advantage of what I have gained. For I have sought trust, and this day I have fulfilled it in a way that he who has placed me here can never forget. From this day forward I will truly be one of those who stand at the right hand of Akhenaten.
There are others, but I think secretly we all have the same purpose. I know Amonhotep, Son of Hapu, does, and I know my father does, though we have never discussed it directly. Sometime soon I must talk to him: I am thirty-five now, the time for pretense is long past, new responsibilities require new dignities. It is time for Kaires to become someone else, a figure in his own right when he stands below the throne at the right hand of the King. When the moment is right I shall move: such is my rule in all things, and it is only because today I have not been the mover but the moved, because today I have been forced against my will to do a deed that can only damage Kemet, that I am shaken and not myself.
Nefer-Kheperu-Ra shall have me a while longer. I shall go with him as he desires me, on his strange life’s journey. In my heart are many misgivings, but I shall conceal them yet awhile. I shall do his bidding, I shall be his servant, I shall serve his purposes—until such time as I can serve Kemet’s and my own. When that time comes, I shall not hesitate.
I perceive that Ramesses is studying me thoughtfully. I have been silent too long. Even that plodding mind will begin to wonder if I calm myself too soon.
I moan, I groan; fists thud, face contorts, sweat pours, body rocks. He looks concerned again, dear stupid, faithful Ramesses. How much I love his simple love for me, his unshakable, unbreakable, undeflectable loyalty and faith. His only purpose is to love me and serve me. My purposes build on his, as they build on those of many others. Together we will rise.
For the time being those of us who stand at the right hand of the King will continue to serve him loyally as he wishes. But in due course, if we decide we must, we will do what Kemet’s good requires.
It rests with Nefer-Kheperu-Ra to determine when, or whether, this will be necessary. Today he has, through my sword, confirmed the power he was born with. Kemet, the Empire, the world, and all, lie waiting for his word.
At his right hand, we wait too.
***