A Fortune's Children's Christmas (16 page)

That is,
she
was about to make love with Ryder, the first man she’d ever considered making love to.
He
was about to have sex with her. There was a huge difference between those two perceptions. Woe to the fool who didn’t know it.

Joanna knew she was not a fool.

She pulled her hands away from him at the same moment she twisted her head, denying him her mouth. And before he had time to figure out what was happening, she pushed him away from her. Hard.

Ryder was left pulsing and gasping as she backed away from him, retreating to her own desk, putting it and the length of the office between them.

“Joanna.” His voice was a whisky-soft rasp. His body was tense, his face flushed with desire.

“We can’t do this, Ryder.” She braced her hands
on her desktop, using it to support herself because her knees were so rubbery she worried they might buckle at any moment. She couldn’t stop shaking.

“I need you, Joanna.” It was a plea.

A hard-to-resist plea. She gazed at him, needing him, wanting him. Loving him. Emotional tears welled in her eyes, and she determinedly blinked them away.

“What’s the matter, baby?” Ryder took a few tentative steps toward her, approaching her as if she were a wild animal bent on bolting.

Well, she felt wild. And panicky. And impulsive…No, she wasn’t impulsive. “I remembered to stop and think before acting,” Joanna said, consoling herself.

Ryder looked less than pleased, though. He heaved a sigh.

“You’re right, I know you are.” He took a few steps closer. “It’s good that one of us stopped to think. This really isn’t the place for—” He glanced around the office. “It’s not the right place, but it’s the right time, Joanna. Let’s go to my apartment. Right now.”

Joanna’s jaw dropped. “Stop working in the middle of the day?” Today he kept saying things that truly amazed her.

“Yeah.” Ryder took advantage of her bemusement to close the distance between them. Before she had fully registered what he had in mind, he was behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “We’re going to quit work for the day and leave the office right now, Joanna.”

Joanna let her head rest against his chest. It felt so
good to be in his arms. She’d pulled away once; she didn’t know if she could marshal the willpower to do it again. Or if she even wanted to.

“We’re spending the rest of the day in my apartment, Joanna.” His fingers splayed over her stomach, sending flames of sensual fire through her. “Consider it an executive order.”

“An order from the boss?” She leaned back into him, letting the warmth of his hard frame suffuse her. “Remember that workshop the company sponsored on sexual harassment a few weeks ago?” Her voice was provocative, teasing, her slow, subtle movements against him even more so. “Your executive command could be construed as sexual harassment, Ryder.”

“You think so?” He slid his hands under her jacket. “What about this?” He cupped her breasts, his hands gliding over the smooth silk of her camisole.

“Well, if I didn’t want to—if I thought keeping my job depended on—” Her voice caught in her throat. It was becoming difficult to breathe, let alone think or speak, because his thumbs had begun to slowly brush over her nipples, which were already tight with arousal.

“True. If you didn’t want me to touch you, and if you thought keeping your job depended on it, this would definitely be sexual harassment,” Ryder concluded.

He stroked her again and again, kissing her neck, nibbling on the sensitive skin there, his lips moving in time with his caressing hands. Her hips picked up
the age-old erotic rhythm, and she thrust softly against him.

“But it isn’t, is it, Joanna?”

She had no idea what he was asking her about, nor did she care. Operating on pure feminine instinct, impulse and desire, Joanna turned in his arms and kissed him deeply, intimately, with all the passion and need of a woman in love.

“I want you so much, Joanna,” he whispered against her lips. “Let me have you.”

She inhaled sharply. “You mean, let you have sex with me?”

“You have this habit of clarifying everything!” Ryder chuckled softly, resting his forehead against hers. “You know it would be a lot more than just having sex, Joanna.”

She was losing it fast. “It would?”

“It would for me,” he admitted gruffly. “What about you?”

Joanna snuggled closer, unable to resist him. She’d stopped; she’d thought; she knew what she was doing. “I want you, too, Ryder, but it…it will complicate things between us.”

“Things have been complicated between us since the day we met, Joanna. As for your ‘life is complex enough’ theory—well, this will simplify things considerably.”

He kissed her, long and hard and deep.

The phone began to ring and kept on ringing, finally drawing them from the sweet world of passion to the mundane basics of life at the office.

“Nobody is at the reception desk. I should be there,” Joanna said quietly, though she didn’t move from his embrace. “We can’t leave the office now, Ryder. It’s too early, and we both have work to do.”

Ryder groaned. “You’re starting to sound like me.”

“Your workaholic ways are contagious.” Joanna reluctantly slipped out of his arms. “I’ll go back to the reception desk, and you call your great-aunt Kate, Ryder.”

“Joanna, will you have dinner with me tonight?” he asked as she headed toward the door. “I don’t mean a working dinner here in the office. We’ll go out. And then—”

“Yes.” She nodded her agreement. “To dinner and to ‘and then.”’

She was halfway out the door when she turned back to him, a beatific smile on her face. “But before I do anything else, I have to make your travel arrangements to D.C., Ryder.” She was thrilled she hadn’t totally forgotten that crucial task, despite some very compelling distractions.

“Book yourself a round-trip flight, too, Joanna. I want you to come with me.”

“To meet with a patent examiner?” Joanna was nonplussed. “I don’t think I’ll do you much good there, Ryder.”

“You don’t even have to go to the meeting. You can visit a museum or something. I want you with me, Joanna. Trust me, having you along will do me a lot of good.”

Ryder was smiling as he called Kate moments later
to talk about what was going on with Fortune’s Design. Ryder had a detailed report to give her.

Several hours later he and Joanna were seated at a booth at La Cantina, a Mexican restaurant she had selected. Joanna had ordered her current favorite meal, spicy chicken burritos, and Ryder decided her food quirks were charming. He could hardly believe he’d been so curmudgeonly as to complain about the monotony of her choice. If Joanna wanted to eat spicy chicken burritos every day for the rest of their lives, it was fine by him.

He was so glad to be with her, so madly anticipating
after dinner.
Ryder felt as if he were on fire, burning with a passionate heat that only Joanna could quench. And she would. Tonight.

“T
he decor is very Ryder,” Joanna remarked, taking her first look at Ryder’s apartment. The combination living-dining room effectively utilized every square inch of space, and the furniture was high-tech modern.

“I’m subletting the place. It came already furnished. If you don’t like it, I’ll move and let you do the decorating.” Ryder scooped her up in his arms. “You can make the decor very-Joanna, if you want.”

She gave a nervous laugh. “Promises, promises.”

He noticed the edge of anxiety in her voice. “Joanna, I’m not trying to snow you with some fast talk, I—”

“As if you could!” Joanna threaded her fingers through the hair at his nape. “Kiss me, Ryder.”

She was trying to divert him, Ryder realized. And succeeding. Her lips nibbled at his, the tip of her tongue teased him. Ryder wanted to tell her that he meant what he said, that he’d never made a similar offer to another woman before.

He was slightly awed by this latest epiphany of his. He had yet to make love with Joanna, but he was already envisioning living with her. That definitely portended something big.

What was it about her that affected him so? he mused dazedly. He was sexually attracted to her, of course, but his feelings ran so much deeper. He admired her sweetness and sensitivity. She was invariably charming and fair and kind to others, and since he often wasn’t, he appreciated those qualities in her all the more.

He liked her loyalty and her sense of humor. She was fun to be with, she made him laugh; not even his bad moods put her off. And she tried so hard. Even when Joanna made mistakes, she didn’t give up. He respected her for that.

Ryder knew he should tell her all these things, he wanted to. But he didn’t get the words out, because Joanna had pulled his head closer, deepening their kiss, and he was lost in a daze of instant passion. Striding across the room to the narrow hallway, he carried her into the apartment’s only bedroom and sat her down on the edge of the king-size bed, which nearly filled the small room.

Joanna reached out to take his hand in hers, and Ryder sat down next to her. She inched even closer to him, her blue eyes wide and warm. With desire. And permission.

Ryder cupped her cheek with his palm, and she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand, letting the warmth envelope her. A soft whimper escaped from her throat when his lips brushed hers in a sweet, tentative kiss.

Joanna wanted more.

Clutching his shoulders, she climbed onto his lap, her knees straddling his hips. He grasped her waist,
steadying her as she swiftly unknotted his tie. Next, her fingers unfastened the first three buttons of his shirt and she touched her lips to the hard column of his neck.

She placed a lingering kiss there. “I want you, Ryder,” she whispered against his skin.

Her urgency incited his, and he clamped one hand behind her head, tilting it to meet his mouth. There was nothing sweet or tentative in this kiss. It was hungry and demanding, and she responded in kind.

Ryder reclined back on the mattress, taking her with him, holding her on top of him, groaning as she clung to him. One kiss blended into another until both were breathing heavily, their bodies fiery with need.

He rolled Joanna onto her back and reached for the buttons of her strawberry jacket. “Ryder.” She caught his hands, bringing his fingers to her mouth, kissing each one. “Could you turn out the lights?” she whispered.

He opened his eyes, realizing that the overhead track lighting was shining down brightly on them. “I must’ve flipped the switch on when we came into the room. I guess I did it automatically.”

“Would you flip it off?” Joanna asked again, and he quickly rose to do her bidding.

The pause gave him a moment to think. “Do you have a thing against track lighting?” he asked curiously, because he knew many people did. “Or, do you have a thing about doing it in the dark?”

“Yes,” Joanna replied, letting him sort it out.

The room was dark now, though a faint glow of light from the living room filtered through the half
closed door. She decided it was too dim to reveal much at all.

It wasn’t only track lighting she rejected. She’d seen herself nude in brightly lit bathrooms and knew that the sight of her body was not one to be shared. Her injuries from the accident and many subsequent surgeries had resulted in a resemblance to something out of a Frankenstein horror movie. She had long, colorful tracks sewn with countless stitches, one scar meeting another, forming scar junctions.

Joanna shuddered. No, she was nothing for a lover to see.

She knew Ryder’s body would be perfect and beautiful, and while she would’ve liked a clear view, she accepted having to settle for a kind of Braille interpretation of him. She would “see” him with her hands and her lips. And attempt to keep Ryder from doing the same thing with her.

That meant taking things very fast. A surge of adrenaline pumped through her and she pulled Ryder down to her, kissing him passionately. Then he took the lead, hastily tugging off his clothes and hers, dispensing with long, slow, sultry caresses. There would be plenty of time for that later, after they’d satisfied their initial, heated urgency.

Items of clothing were tossed away, landing in places all over the room. She moved her hand lower and grasped him, fast bringing him to the point where pleasure merged into pain.

“Joanna, please.” The desperation in his voice was thrilling and compelling. “I…I can’t wait any longer.”

“I can’t either, Ryder.” She pressed her lips to his. “Now, please.”

“I have to get something…” He managed to reach the drawer in the bedside stand and fumbled with an unopened box of condoms. “Not that I’ve needed these since I’ve lived here.” He gave a self-deprecatory chuckle.

“But you’re prepared.” She ran her hand along his thigh.

“No Boy Scout motto jokes, please. The truth is, I’ve been living like a monk, Joanna. But not thinking like one. I bought this after that night at Surf City and—”

“—had unmonkish thoughts about me ever since?” she teased softly. “That’s sweet, Ryder. You hid it well, though. I would’ve never guessed.”

“I didn’t intend for you to guess I was lusting after you, Joanna.”

“So that’s why you chewed me out at the office daily?”

“I didn’t chew you—”

“You did. And when you weren’t, you were freezing me out.”

“You played a pretty convincing Ice Queen yourself, Joanna.” He caught her hand and carried it to his lips. “I’m so glad that’s all behind us, baby. Finally, we’re together.”

Joanna held the sheet in place with her other hand, covering herself as she watched him sheath himself. The shadowy sight of him caused her to gape. He was so big, so strong, so gorgeous. So big.

He came back to her and kissed her lovingly. Her
body instinctively arched beneath his, and Ryder moaned in pure ecstasy as he thrust into her, filling her.

Joanna clutched the headboard to keep herself from pushing him away, an urge as instinctive as every other she’d been following tonight. This was all new to her, but she was determined to come through like a champion. It was like physical therapy, she told herself, using muscles that initially resisted but following through anyway because the final reward was worth the effort.

Still, her body was screaming at her, the way it had every time her therapists in the rehab hospital tried a brand-new exercise on her broken limbs. Joanna tried to ignore it. Never mind that she’d never done this before, she would file the pain away and concentrate on pleasing him….

“Sweetheart, you’re so tense.” Unlike her therapists, who didn’t acknowledge her pain—what would’ve been the point? of course it hurt—Ryder did notice. “Are you all right?”

Joanna nodded, a fine sheen of perspiration bathing her entire body. “Let’s just get on with it,” she said, gritting her teeth.

“Honey, I can tell it’s been a while since you’ve—” Ryder began. A thought struck him and he instantly refuted it. No, it couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible. Not after the passionate way she’d kissed him and touched him, not after her eager advances.

“Joanna, exactly how long has it been for you?” he asked in a strangled tone.

She smoothed her hands over his back. The lull had
given her body time to accommodate and adjust to his. Joanna felt a flash of triumph. She had won the fight against her reluctant body again, once more proving her superlative mind-over-matter ability.

“It’s starting to feel good, Ryder,” she said, more than a little amazed. She’d been willing to settle for the lessening of pain; she certainly hadn’t expected pleasure. But pleasure was what she was definitely experiencing as she melted around his virile strength.

The hot fusion of their bodies was almost dizzyingly pleasurable. “Very good, Ryder,” she whispered on a moan.

Ryder nearly gave it up then and there, but he held on. She’d been the one orchestrating things between them tonight, and it was time he took the lead. “You didn’t answer my question, Joanna. How long has it been since you’ve made love?”

She nipped at his shoulder. Warm waves of sensual bliss were flooding her. “Not since my last lifetime, whenever that was. If ever that was,” she added. She wasn’t too sure about past lives.

“This is your first time?” He fairly gasped it.

“Don’t be mad, Ryder. I didn’t intend for you to know.”

“Joanna, I’m not mad.” He raised his head to look into her eyes. “But you should’ve told me.”

“I wanted to make love with you, Ryder, not send you on a guilt trip. Which you’re now about to take, anyway,” she grumbled.

“I’m not feeling guilty. Okay. Yes, I am, but not about going to bed with you. Joanna, I should’ve taken things gentle and slow and instead, I—”

“You did exactly what I wanted, Ryder. It was wonderful.” She wrapped her limbs around him and kissed him tenderly.

“You think that’s it?” He was smiling as he lifted his lips from hers. “My sweet darling, we’ve hardly begun.”

That night he showed her what she’d been wondering about, what she’d been yearning for. He taught her everything about the joys and pleasures of a man and woman making love. Joanna gave herself to him, creating and sharing bliss as they explored and finally exceeded the boundaries of their passion.

Emotion swelled within Ryder, so mingled with desire that he couldn’t begin to separate them. The combination inspired a passion stronger and fiercer than he’d ever known.

Joanna was his, all his. Only his. He hadn’t thought being first mattered all that much, but being Joanna’s first lover meant more to him than he could ever have imagined.

Afterward, they lay together, nearly insensate with the rapture of their shattering release. Holding her tightly, Ryder buried his face in her hair, inhaling the alluring scent that was Joanna Chandler.

“Are you going to tell me how—and why—a beautiful, sensual, passionate woman like you has waited so long to—”

“I knew you’d be shocked,” Joanna said lightly. “You thought because I’d traveled all over Europe on a Euro-rail pass that I’d slept my way across the continent, as well. And when you throw in my lack of
education
plus
my job in the film industry—well, of course, you’d think I was something of a slut!”

“Joanna, I never thought that.” Ryder was chagrined. Actually, he had thought her résumé added up to a very sexually experienced woman. But he’d never considered her a slut!

“Sure you did, but I forgive you.” She kissed him playfully.

Joanna wasn’t about to get into why she had remained so guarded and restrained sexually. She’d never analyzed the reason, although her feelings of inferiority about her patched-together body probably played a vital role.

She thought about those early days of posthospital freedom, when she’d partied hearty and hardy. Even then she’d set certain lines and limits for herself that she refused to cross.

“You didn’t even try to answer my question, Joanna,” Ryder persisted.

Joanna didn’t want to delve too deeply into the whys and wherefores, especially not now. If she talked about her life-altering accident, she would have to show him her body, and that would definitely dim the afterglow.

“Let’s just say I’d never let myself lose complete control before. Not until tonight,” she said with a pleased little smile, nuzzling his hand that was stroking her neck.

Her answer didn’t please Ryder. It occurred to him that what he wanted to hear were words he would have found sappy and unbelievable back in his cool-adventurer days. He wanted Joanna to say that she’d
been saving herself for the right man, that she’d never been in love before—and that he, Ryder Fortune, was the one she’d been waiting for her entire life.

Because he was in love with her. He had never felt this way about any woman before, but he knew right then and there that she was the love of his life.

“Ryder, there’s something we need to talk about, something I have to tell you.” Her voice was soft, hesitant.

“You can tell me anything, sweetheart,” Ryder promised fervently.

He was sure she wanted to tell him she loved him but felt shy. It was up to him to assure her that her declaration elated him. And then he would confess that he was in love with her, too.

“I can’t continue as your executive assistant, Ryder. We both know that what I said in the office earlier today is true. You need somebody with business talent and skills that you can eventually promote to a higher position in the company. We both know that person is not me, Ryder.”

Her words had the equivalent effect of whacking him over the head with a plank. Ryder sat up straight, reeling from the blow. “I can’t believe you’re saying this now, Joanna. Not after—after—”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t sleep with you again, baby.” She scrambled to her knees to face him, pulling the sheet around her. “I want to, I want you. But I can’t be your executive assistant any longer. Ryder, let’s be honest. I’m not only awful at it, but I’m potentially dangerous in the position. So far I haven’t
made any real costly mistakes, but I’m capable of it, and we both know that, too.”

“I’m resisting the primal urge to wring your neck, because I know you’re a novice at postcoital conversation,” Ryder said. “Let’s get one thing straight here and now, Joanna. I don’t want you to leave Fortune’s Design. I want you with me. I want to see you every day
and
every night.”