Authors: Kirsty-Anne Still
IT
had been six years
since she last made this trip. Six long, horribly lonely years since she left
everything she held onto so
dearly,
and even after six
years she still
harbored
exactly the same emotions
she departed with.
She had assumed that if she ran, she might have found a release, an
almost blissful escape from how her life had become.
She had been nineteen and in love – truly, madly and deeply in love. She
was still in love, so much so that she could still remember how his arms around
her felt and how his kisses electrified her skin. After all, you never forgot
your first true love and for Austin Pearson, it was her one and only love. Sure
she had given herself to one night stands and endured dates in the hope that
one man would spark in her the butterfly effects again and make her understand
that
life-went-on
.
She came to the realization that she felt nothing life enduring or
fulfilling from any other man. Nothing she could claim made her abandon her
memories and her losses.
Getting off of the plane, she immediately saw her brother as he stood
stoic and yet nervous for her return home. She tried to calm her shaking hands
as she took in the sweet scent of the area near the little town that she had
grown up in. And she knew immediately that if there was one thing she knew
about this decision, it was that Point Arena was still her comfort place and
she knew it always would be.
There was no hello first, just a massive, body consuming hug as her
brother’s well-built arms wrapped around her. He picked her up, bags and all,
and spun her around.
It didn’t take her
long before he dragged her to his car, talking away like six years hadn’t
passed by, and started the journey from the airport to his home.
For most of the way she was cast back six years to a time when she loved
these journeys in and out of town. As Point Arena came into view she became
quieter than usual and hoped her seat would just swallow her up.
Sitting in the car, Austin pondered the reasons why she was really back
and Tom’s interrogation did nothing to help calm her. She brushed his questions
aside with satisfying answers, but soon she found that she could no longer
issue her brother the cold shoulder and monosyllable answers. He had willingly
allowed her to stay with him, told her he understood and forgave her. He was
the one that knew everything and was still happier than ever to see her. She
had to let him in.
At the end of the day, Austin had already concluded that stepping back
into her old hometown was one of two things: early retirement or liberation.
She was still left indecisive as to which one she swayed to more.
***
“Do you really want to do this to yourself?” Tom
finally asked the question she had been dreading all day.
Austin gulped, here she was back in Point Arena and all she really
wanted to know was how her parents were and how Tyler Armstrong – AKA the love
of her life – was doing. Stupidly, she knew she was asking to see if he was
still in this hellish predicament like her, or if he had he moved on from her
disappearance.
Tom relented as his sister nodded. She had hardly spoken since being
back and he knew just how hard it was for her to return and he knew that he
would do anything to stick by her. “He’s the chief now, since old man Brandon
left the post. He could’ve picked anyone, but he chose Tyler to be the one that
took over the Point Arena PD,” he told her and he could see that she realized
that he and Tyler were still close. “Man’s got job offers everywhere, but still
won’t leave this little pokey town.”
“Is he with someone else?” Austin
asked and immediately wished she hadn’t.
She blurted out the words, realizing her mistake the moment she had said
it, but this was one piece of information she needed to know.
Nodding, Tom looked towards the hallway as the doorbell rang and smiled
at his sister. “Hang on to that thought,” Tom told her as he went for the door.
Sitting in the kitchen with her brother, she had felt her nerves die,
but now they were completely resuscitated at the thought of who was at the
door. Sitting up and on the edge of her stool, she listened to her brother
trying to quickly get rid of whoever was at the door.
When that failed, she stood up and wondered if hiding was a good idea.
Just as her feet began to carry her off to find somewhere to hide she stopped.
She was too late.
She came face to face with her mother as she appeared in the doorway.
She felt herself stop breathing, her heart ceasing its beating as her eyes met
her mother’s. She stood and awaited her fate and as her mother’s gaze turned
cold, she realized that she had broken this relationship beyond repair.
Her mother hated her.
“Hi,” Austin managed while standing awkwardly trying to decide what to
do next. Then her mind screamed at her for repentance, for forgiveness, for
acceptance. “I am sorry, Mom. I never meant to just
disa
-“
“I don’t want to hear it,” her mother cut her short, her hand coming up
to wave off her apology. “I’m here to talk to my son,” she said hurtfully and turned
to Tom handing him over a book on mechanics. “Your father told me to bring this
to you for your car and I needed to come and talk to you, but I see you’re busy
at the moment.”
“Mom,” Tom started feeling disappointed in his mother. “You’ve
gotta
let her in.”
“Austin made her choice six years ago. She needs to wait for everyone to
be ready to accept her back.
Especially me!”
She
looked to Austin and could see how devastated her daughter was, but she was a
stubborn woman and her daughter’s disappearance had shocked her to the core.
She couldn’t bring herself to reunite with her daughter. “You need to work for
my trust, Austin. You cannot just walk back in and think it’s still here. You
broke a family up, broke a man’s heart and you left without thinking anyone
could help you for whatever Godforsaken reason drove you to leave in the middle
of the night without explanation!” she yelled, seeing Austin flinch under the
heaviness of her words.
Without meaning to, Austin felt her eyes water as her mother turned,
slamming the door while leaving the house.
Again Austin flinched as the door made contact with its frame.
The moment the door bounced back after unsuccessfully closing Tom sprung
to life. “C’mon, let’s go down to the house and see if dad’s up for something
to eat. She’ll come around,” Tom said to Austin and he could see her
disapproval of his plan. “I know you think you can easily just sit inside and
hide away, but you’ve got a lot of people that have been waiting for you to
come back home.”
“Well we know that can’t be true,” Austin scoffed miserably but followed
him out of the house regardless. “I’m not even acknowledged by my own mom
anymore.”
“That’s just mom,” Tom tried to play that fact away.
“I hate that we are just about
walking distance between everything!” Austin groaned to her brother as they
walked down the road changing the subject. “Everything is literally one
street.”
He laughed at her over exaggeration, “That’s Point Arena. Might be
small, but it’s bursting with opportunity,” Tom replied as he put his arm
around his sister’s shoulder and tightened his grip on her a little. “So what’s
made you feel so agoraphobic all of a sudden?”
“Big cities,” Austin replied
nonchalantly at her brother. “Big,
big
cities all full of life and
people.”
“Ah, so Austin Pearson decided to
hide in the crowds eh?” Tom teased as they rounded onto the Pearson house
driveway.
Austin looked all around. “Tommy,” Austin said as she looked away from
the old Armstrong home, “This really isn’t a good idea.”
The door opened and her head snapped round completely as a strong
baritone voice spoke up. “Aussie,” Austin’s father said as he saw her, his face
illuminating with recognition as he saw her. “What the-”
“I just left your house,” their
mother said as she came to stand with her husband in the doorway. “I don’t
think now is the time or place to come barging into my house.”
“No barging in, Mom, honestly. We’re just going out,” Tom lied as they
stood on the doorstep. He knew going in was an invasion and Austin would find
it awkward so he thought he would go public. “You can come with us if you
want?”
Austin went to speak, but was interrupted. If anything she wanted to
hideout and get used to the familiarity of this place. Somehow she didn’t think
she’d have time to do such a thing. She wanted so bad to hug her mom, hug her
dad, turn the clocks back, but they were all impossible feats right now. So she
had to swallow her fear and live the moment as the new one was piled on top of
her.
“Austin!” She heard from behind her and spun around to be met with the
welcoming arms of who would have been her mother-in-law, Tanya Armstrong.
Now two worlds
collided once again.
June 2005
YOU
know we’re going to
have to get that shoulder seen to if it keeps acting up,” Austin commented as
she watched Tyler try and hide the pain. She could never stand to see him in
pain and she would do anything to stop an old sporting injury plaguing him.
“Training did it in, that’s all, Sunny,” he told her and to show that it
was forgettable, he pulled her to his well built body and kissed her with
absolute pleasure. “I’m pretty sure you’ll find me a way to forget about it.”
Austin giggled and smiled as she went in for another kiss, “It’s a good
thing you know I will.”
As they resumed walking along the shore to the beach, the strip barely
holding any other people considering the weather, Tyler took a moment to
reflect. “Do you ever see yourself leaving this place?” Tyler asked suddenly
and Austin stopped. It was more a comment to goad the moment to its goal. He
used it to see if she was well aware of her dreams and her ability to change
the world with just her presence.
“What do you mean?” she asked, confused as to how this question came
about.
“Well, there’s a world outside of Point Arena,” he pointed out and he
saw her still looking at him in the same way. “I just wondered if you see
yourself living in it.”
“Maybe one day,” she told him honestly and gave shrug, “But not without
you.”
He chuckled at her last remark, “That part is not up for negotiations.”
“Good,” she commented back pleased. “Now let’s have some fun,” Austin
suddenly said and pulled her top from her body, standing in only her bra and
shorts. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to plan the future that far ahead, but
it was more that she was unsure what she wanted to do and how far Point Arena
would allow her to do what she loved. Right now, she just loved life how it
was. She then grinned at him as she undid her denim shorts and quickly dropped
them to the sandy ground before she kicked off her favourite tattered pumps.
“Going to join me?” she asked as she left him behind, stepping into the ankle
deep water in just her underwear. “Or are you too grown up with your career
aspects?” she grinned at him, her eyes sparkling with her adoration for him and
her love to tease him.
“I’m right behind you, Sweet thing!” he almost growled and quickly
stripped so he could follow her. The moment he did, she screamed playfully and
ran further away from shore. He caught up with her faster than she had anticipated
and they both fell into the water.
As they came back up, Tyler held onto Austin and kept her afloat as they
treaded their way in the salty water. “Marry me,” he stated as he clung onto
her body with ease. It might have been cold, but any time with Austin made
nothing else matter. It wasn’t exactly the way he wanted to do it but he was
caught up in the moment and shocked even himself. “I want to be the one to make
you the happiest girl possible.”
“That means you have to come home more,” Austin teased Tyler lovingly
and even though she understood his job and those he worked with, she wanted him
to come home after his hours were up, not wait for him to be done at a bar.
“You know I go to get my name out of there, Babe. I do it so I can get
put forward for promotions,” he told her and saw her expression harden, “But
for you I will definitely change.”
Austin couldn’t fault her man. He was still young, still learning, just
like she was, but he was willing to do anything for her and she hoped that when
it came to them being old and gray together they would be doing the same.
“Don’t change too much though,” she whispered as she put her forehead to his,
“You’re perfect the way you are.”
He smirked at her, “Now, Miss Austin Pearson, you didn’t answer my question.”
“That’s because you didn’t make it question. You made it a statement,”
she teased him and giggled, “There was no question to answer, Mr Tyler
Armstrong.”
“Okay then,” Tyler commented and said no more, he moved her so she was
scooped into his arms and he walked to shallower water. He took no notice and
made no attempt to answer her constant questioning and pandering. He just did
what he had to do. He had to give her the question to answer and he needed to
do it properly – like a grown up and not a nineteen year old.
Carrying her out, he took her to the shore where their clothes were.
Placing her feet to the sand, he reached for his pants and grabbed what he
needed from the front pocket. Turning to face her, he could see she had a face
full of expectations for this and he hoped that after this he had exceeded
every single one of them. He was nineteen and hopelessly in love with the most
perfect girl ever and he wanted this perfect for her.
Dropping to one knee, he held the blue velvet box out to her, allowed
the happiness to show on his entire face and opened the box with slow ease.
“Austin Pearson, I have loved you since before I even knew what love was and I
only know love with you. I only want to know what it feels like to love you and
I want to know it every day of my life because even a day without you
isn’t
worth it. My life is empty without you in it and I
have been lucky to have nothing but an amazing life with you.” He could see she
was biting her lip to stop herself from crying at this moment, “I have been
thinking of ways I could ask you and the scariest thing is that there is a
chance of you saying no, but before you make any decision, I need you to know
that everything I am doing right now is to make sure that you have the best
life ever. I am trying to be the best damn officer in that PD so I can be the
best man for you. I only ever want to keep you happy and I want to be able to
give you my last name so the whole world knows who owns your heart.” He shifted
a little on his knee and cleared his throat. “Austin Pearson would you do me
the honour of marrying me?”
Austin let the dams burst and cried out as she nodded her head sharply,
“Yes, yes, yes,” she whispered, “Of course, I will.” She watched him stand up,
taking the ring from its holder and slipping it onto her finger. “Silly man
for ever
thinking I’d say no,” she told him as she watched
the ring fit perfectly and she just wrapped her arms around his neck and held
him tightly. “I love you,” she murmured into his ear and felt him pull back a
little to kiss her.
There had been many years of kissing. Their first kiss had been shared
in a tree house when they were seven; they had kissed under the stars, in the
sea, in front of friends, in front of family. They had kissed when they
graduated high school, when they were at prom and danced their last song of the
evening. They had kissed at birthdays and Christmases, Christenings and family
parties. Kissing was normal to them, but this kiss was heightened. It was much
more than any other kiss they had ever shared before. This was divine and soul
binding. This kiss marked the new turn in their life together.
“God, you are beautiful,” he told her as their first kiss as an engaged
couple ended and he looked at her. “Life without you, Aussie, it wouldn’t be
worth it. You complete me. You always have and God, deep down I know you always
will.”
Austin giggled, “You’re actually the sweetest guy in this town.”
“Luckiest,” he stated, changing her opinion. He leaned in, “Luckiest guy
in the world, Austin. I’m the luckiest guy to have you as my girlfriend.”
“
Fiancée
,” Austin took her turn to change his statement.
There was no way she would ever forget this day.