A Fighting Chance (10 page)

I get off the bed and walk up behind him and press my body to the back of his. Before I even realize what he’s doing, he turns around and holds me so tight, I gasp for air. He buries his nose in the crook of my neck and lets out an agonizing sob that echoes through the small cabin.  His body shakes uncontrollably. I wrap my arms around his back and hang on for dear life. I feel the wetness in my hair as he lets go of whatever it is that’s weighing him down. As much as I try not to, I feel a layer being chipped away as my resolve weakens.

Max and I lay down in the bed together and I held him all night. He cried for hours, and even after he fell asleep, his body still racked with the occasional sob. I eventually fell asleep as well, a peaceful sleep, wrapped firmly around Max.

The next morning I woke, and again I had to think of where I was and just how I got there. Overnight Max and I had switched positions; I was now wrapped securely in his arms. His arm is heavy over my chest, and his right thigh is laced between my legs. Not even the demons of my subconscious could penetrate his hold. I thought I had heard something and that’s why I woke up. I feel so safe and peaceful I don’t want to move. I know this can’t happen. Max and I will never be a couple again, but for just a little while, I want to be selfish and feel safe and protected. I close my eyes again to once again hear a noise. This time it registers that it’s a knock at the door. Who can be all the way out here? Max gives me a squeeze, kisses me on the cheek, and then hauls his large frame over me and heads to the door. He cracks the door open just enough to where I can’t see who’s there.

“Yeah, this is a good time, come on in man,” he says. He opens the door to Asher. I hear a female voice just out of view say, “I’ll be right outside if you need me.” It’s Willow. She places her hand on his shoulder, looks inside, offers a small smile, then reaches in and closes the door. Asher eyes me on the bed. As I sit up, that overwhelming sense I had of loss last night washes over me again. The look on Asher’s face tells a thousand stories. Something bad has happened, something really bad. His eyes are red and swollen. He grabs a chair from the table and sets it in front of me.

“I’ll be outside with Willow if either of you need anything,” Max says. He places his hand on the doorknob, and the other flat on the wooden door. He hangs his head, then turns around and gives me this defeated look that sends my heart plummeting in my chest.

Asher takes a seat, and then takes my hand in his. His tears run like a river down his face as he places his other hand over mine and squeezes.

“I...uh, came here to talk to you and share a piece of me in hopes that it will help you come back to us…” he starts to say.

I interrupt him by saying, “Asher you don’t need to…”

“Yes, I do. Just listen. Many people look at me and my family and think ‘what I wouldn’t give to walk in his shoes. He has a beautiful wife and two amazing kids. He’s rich and lives in a gorgeous huge house and gets chauffeured around in a Bentley’. Yes, I have all of those things. But to walk in my shoes now, you would have had to walk in my shoes from the beginning. I have earned, and I’ve worked hard, and I’ve had to fight for everything I’ve accomplished. I didn’t have it easy. I didn’t have my company handed to me. I’ve been knocked down on my ass more times than I care to remember. I’ve been dealt some shitty cards that have torn me down almost to nothing. I lost my first wife, Olivia, to a senseless drunk driving accident. That day I thought my life was over too. I had no desire to stay here in a world that could be so cruel as to take someone so loving and innocent from me. It took years and a voice from beyond the grave, for me to take a chance and open my heart to love again.

“I would never know the woman I love today, or have my two precious kids, if I hadn’t listened and believed in what my heart was telling me. My love for Willow was never easy, and it tore me apart to allow myself to fall in love with her with the possibility that I could lose her to cancer. But I believed and I held on tight and I never let go. There was no guarantee when I met her that I would have the rest of my life with her. In this world, there are no guarantees at all in anything. I could lose everything I have today; my company, my house, my cars, everything and I couldn’t care less, as long as I have my family.”

He stops talking and lets out a sob. One very familiar to the one Max let out last night. His hand goes to his heart and he squeezes my hand.

“I lost my dad last night. Aside from losing my first wife, this is the hardest fucking thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t do it on my own. I can’t make it through this without my family. I rely on Willow and Abbey and Aaron, and my brothers and sisters to help get me through this. We all need to rely on each other to get each other, and my mother, through this. You can’t shut down on us. You can’t push the people away from you that matter the most to you. We all want to help you though this hell you’re living in. Don’t shut us out anymore.”

He stands up, grabs both sides of my head, leans down and kisses the top of my head, then walks out the door. Then, right then, another layer chipped away.

Max

Standing outside the cabin with Willow, I say a silent prayer and hope I’m doing the right thing. Chloe’s built a wall so high and so thick around her to protect herself that this is the only way I can think to get to her. To get to what I know is still there. It just has to still be there. I need to tear it all down before it can all be rebuilt. I think she has this distorted thinking that all the people in her life have this easy ride while she was dealt shit. I know what’s happened to her is horrible, but she needs to be hit hard with the reality of the truth. Not one of these people has had it easy. She needs to know and she needs to realize that yes, this world is a cruel son of a bitch, but we take that bitch by the horns and we get the fuck back up.

“You’re a good man for doing this, you know that, right?” Willow says, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“I just hope I’m doing the right thing,” I reply.

“You are. I know you are. I think this is the only way to reach her.”

“How are Abbey and Aaron?” I ask changing the subject.

Her entire face lights up, and the sweetest smile forms on her lips the instant their names are mentioned. “They’re wonderful and the absolute pride and joy of my life,” she says.

“How are you?” she asks.

“Me? I’m fine,” I lie. My world has been turned upside down. The woman I love is a million miles away lost in her own head, and the man that unknowingly helped guide me through a shitty childhood just died. If life throws me another sucker punch, I may be the one needing help soon.

“I saw you come into the house last night. How are you doing with Samuel’s passing? How did you come to know the Wellingtons?” she asks ever so softly.

“Asher and I go way back. Let’s just say my debt to him can never be fulfilled. And Samuel…was…is more of a father to me than my biological dad will ever be.”

I hear a car coming up the dirt drive. The second group I invited up here to talk to Chloe is right on time. Amelia and Kyle step out of their car. Amelia opens the back door and unhooks a sleeping Noah from his car seat. My namesake, Noah Maxwell Peters, Kyle and Amelia named their son after me. After everything that happened with the rescue of Amelia and Chloe, Kyle and Amelia found it in their hearts to include me. They both said that without me there would never be a Noah. Damn those are some humble words to swallow.

The three of them walk up to Willow and I. Amelia plops Noah in my arms, who is now wide awake, and asks, “How’s it going in there?”

I haven’t spent much time with kids, especially ones this little, but he seems to fit perfectly in my arms and it seems almost natural to hold him. He just feels right, like he belongs there. This September, Noah will be turning two. I always said I never wanted kids. I never trusted myself with such a huge responsibility of raising a child. What if I turn out to be just like my dad? But for the first time holding Noah, I get this feeling that this is something I want. I don’t need to worry about becoming my dad, because I have the strength of Samuel always on my side. He will always be watching out for me, guiding me through my doubts.

“Do you think they’re alright in there?” Willow asks. Just then the door opens. Asher looks terrible. He looks like he hasn’t slept. I hated to ask them all now, so soon after their dad’s passing to do this, but I was afraid to wait any longer. Without a word, Willow walks to her husband and wraps her arms around him. He holds on to his wife like she’s the air that he needs to take his next breath. I want that for myself. With Chloe. He releases his wife and holds out his hand for me to shake. He pulls my hand in and gives both Noah and I a hug. With a clap on the back and a kiss on his nephew’s cheek, Asher takes his wife’s hand and heads to their car. My heart screams out in pain for them. The loss of Samuel is a loss to everyone he came into contact with. He was just that kind of man that had a positive influence on everyone who knew him. No doubt they have hard times ahead of them dealing with all the funeral arrangements. I wish there was more I could do right now, but I need to be here with Chloe, to help fix what I broke.

“You two are up,” I say to Amelia and Kyle. Amelia heads back to their car and takes out a few brown paper bags with groceries in it.

“You’ll be alright out here by yourself with Noah?” she asks hefting the bags in her arms.

“Sure we will. Won’t we bud? We’ll just play some hide and go seek and maybe we’ll take a short walk down to the creek and look for frogs. You’d like that wouldn’t you, Noah?” I say to Noah with a bounce making him giggle.

Amelia and Kyle head inside holding each other’s hand. I put Noah down and chase him around the front yard for a few minutes, then scoop him up and put him on my shoulders. We walk down to the creek to search for those frogs, just like I promised.

Chapter 8

Chloe

Asher left, and I can hear several people quietly talking just outside the front door. I simply had no words to say to Asher. I have never seen such a devastated man before. I knew about his first wife, Olivia, but I guess because I’ve only ever seen him as he is now, happy with a perfect wife and two gorgeous kids and a successful business, that I didn’t stop and think about the pain he must have gone through back then. I never really thought about his company and just how much work it had to have taken to became so successful. He didn’t inherit a thriving business and have a walk on roll. He built what he has on his own. He made himself what he is today through hard work and determination. He too was dealt some shitty cards along the way, but look at his life today.

I curl back in bed, facing the wall. I hear Max’s soothing voice outside and let it wash over me. Just as I’m about to fall asleep, the door opens. I know it’s not Max. But my wonder twin powers sense Kyle as he enters the room.  I barely held it together listening to Asher. I don’t know if I can take what Kyle has to say to me. I hear him take a seat in the chair that Asher sat in. I hear another person moving around in the kitchen and the rustle of bags, and things being placed on the shelves.

“Chloe, I know you can hear me. I need to say some things to you, but I need you to really hear me. You and I both know we had an amazing childhood. We grew up with two loving parents who gave us everything we ever wanted. They would have hung the moon if we asked them to. We never wanted for anything. We had our dreams all layed out in front of us and knew what we wanted to do by the time we were seven. Going to college and medical school together wasn’t an option to us, it was a given. The day we graduated was one of the happiest days of my life. Mom and Dad gave us each our matching necklaces with the caduceus charm. I’ve never taken it off, ever since that day.”

I reach for my own necklace and play with the charm between my fingers. That was one of the happiest days of my life too. I remember the picture mom took of us. We had big goofy smiles on our face and we were holding up the charms to each other. Both Kyle and I have that picture on display in our houses. I’ve never taken mine off either. Becoming a doctor with Kyle was all I ever wanted in life. My life was so simple and carefree until that one day. One blink of an eye. One moment in time, and I became a marked, damaged soul. Sounds crazy, but it could never be more true.

“The day you went missing was the worst day of my life. I never believed the police when they said you left on your own. I knew you were upset about losing our patient and her baby. I was too. But I knew you’d never leave me without saying something to me. I always felt your heart and I swore I heard you talking to me at night when it was quiet. I used to wish the day was over so I could climb into bed and listen for your voice in the silence. So I could hear you talking to me, telling me that you were alright. God I swore they were real, that I could really hear you talking to me. My whole world fell apart, I felt like I was a lost half of a whole. Then mom and dad got divorced, and I didn’t think things could get any worse. My life seemed useless. How could I live as half of a human being?”

A glass shatters in the kitchen after Amelia hears what Kyle said. Tears stream down my face as I hear just how much my kidnapping destroyed him. I only ever thought of myself and how terrible it was for me to be kidnapped. I never really stopped and thought about how it affected Kyle, my twin. He really is the other half of my soul. It really was me talking to him. I knew he could hear me. I just knew our wonder twin powers were real.

“The day I met Amelia was a beacon in my dreary existence. She literally crashed into my world just when I didn’t think I could take anymore.”

A quiet sob escapes Amelia as Kyle continues to talk. I’m so thankful for Amelia. Without her, I would never have been rescued and I would never have met Max.

“I fell in love with Amelia, I think at first sight. She was everything I had ever dreamed of and nothing like I felt I deserved. She was my saving grace in a time when I felt like giving up. And just when I thought life had something good to offer me, she was taken from me as well. But, I didn’t crawl in a corner and shut everyone out. I didn’t give up. I was fucking mad, and I wasn’t going to stand for this to happen to me again. I wasn’t going to let the universe take someone else away from me that I loved. I fought back even harder. I need you to do that, Chloe. I need you to fight back. I need you to come back to me. I feel you slipping away. I feel that other half of my heart slipping from my fingers again. I love you, Chloe. As much as you don’t want to hear this, Max loves you too. We all do. I want my twin back. I want all of her, not this hollow, wasting away to almost nothing, ghost.”