A Father's Promise (9 page)

Then her lips shifted into a smile, igniting the faint spark glowing in his soul.

“It’s complicated” was all she could say.

Zach knew that. The counselor he’d been seeing with Tricia after Molly’s death had warned him against bringing women into Tricia’s life who he wasn’t serious about.

Not that Zach had any desire to date anyone after his miserable marriage. But now it seemed he was on the verge of falling for his daughter’s natural mother.

When she looked up at him, he saw a yearning in her eyes that called to the loneliness in his own soul. Ignoring the warning bells pealing in his head, he bent over and kissed her. And she responded.

They both pulled away at the same time. “I don’t think... I’m not sure...” She paused, her hand resting on her chest, as if holding on to her heart.

“I’m not, either,” he countered.

“This is so complicated,” she said quietly, her fingers lightly touching the material of his shirt. “Confusing and yet—”

“It feels right, doesn’t it?”

“But Tricia is part of this all,” she said. “I can’t forget about her and neither should you.”

Anger raced through him at her quiet reprimand.

“To be perfectly blunt, she’s been a part of my life longer than she’s been a part of yours,” he said. “Everything I’ve ever done since she was placed in my arms has been for her.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I know how this all looks. Tricia is my daughter
and
your daughter. Why shouldn’t we be together?”

“It seems too perfect,” she agreed.

“So this brings us back to where we started. What do we do?”

Renee bit her lip as if thinking. Then she pulled back.

“Wait and see, I think.”

Zach wasn’t sure how to respond to her ambiguous comment. Then Renee spoke again.

“I better go see how my mother is doing,” she said, her voice quiet, determined.

But Zach noticed her hands were trembling as she dried them on a towel, then pushed the sleeves of her blazer down. Without another glance his way, she left.

Zach leaned on the counter. He had been so careful. He had guarded his heart not only this past year, but the last few years of his and Molly’s marriage, when their relationship had started falling apart. When every interaction with her would end in frustration and anger.

The past few weeks had been amazing, spending time with a woman who was sensitive, caring, kind and a Christian.

All the things he thought he had found in Molly.

Did he dare try again? Did he dare put his and Tricia’s happiness on the line?

He wished he knew for sure what he was supposed to do. Because whatever he did would have repercussions not only for Tricia, but his own wounded and lonely heart.

Chapter Nine

“R
enee. Are you busy?”

Renee looked up from the clipboard she was scribbling on just as her mother wheeled herself around the corner of the shelving unit.

“Not super busy. Just getting some inventory lists together for Cathy. If and when we can ever get this store sold.” Renee flipped through the packages of stickers hanging on a hook, counting them as she went, then wrote the amount on the paper attached to the clipboard. She was forging on as if everything was going through. Too much had been happening the past month, and the only way she could keep her balance was to keep her eye on the goal she and her mother had been working toward for the past four years.

“Can we go to the back of the store? I want some privacy.”

“Sounds serious.” Renee stood aside as her mother wheeled herself down the aisle.

Her mother didn’t say anything, and Renee ignored the tinkle of the electronic bell announcing that another customer was coming into the store. Most customers liked to browse before they needed help. She had some time.

They went into the room, and Renee felt a tiny pang of nostalgia. Tricia had finished her scrapbook. No more visits from the little girl.

Or her father.

The thought created the usual stew of emotions. Regret and anticipation. Worry and hope. Affection...

She caught herself right there as she carefully closed the door of the back room. Her mother had spun her wheelchair around and was leaning forward, her elbows resting on the arms.

Her mom’s cheeks were flushed. Her expression animated. Her eyes bright, enhanced by the pink shirt she had chosen to wear this morning. Brenda usually preferred practical brown or gray. Colors that wouldn’t get dirty.

“I want to talk to you about the therapy program,” Brenda began. “I was doing some more research about it.”

“That’s good,” Renee said, sitting down on a chair across from her so they were at eye level. “It’s good to be informed.”

“A little too informed,” her mom said, taking Renee’s hand and holding it between her own. “I’m concerned about the time commitment. It might take more than a year, and that’s only if everything goes well.”

“We talked about that,” Renee said, squeezing her mother’s hand. “The therapy team told us that you are a good candidate.”

Brenda nodded slowly, as if absorbing this information. “Yes. But I’ve been in this wheelchair for eight years. And I know that every year I’ve spent here means my muscles have atrophied that much more, in spite of the exercises we’ve been doing.”

“That’s why they warned us that it would take a year to a year and a half.” Three weeks ago it would have simply been twelve to sixteen months she would carve out of her life for her mother.

But now?

Images of Zach slid through her mind.

Did she dare hope that something important was beginning between them?

And what about Tricia? Renee had already missed so much of her life—could she really walk away from her so easily?

Her mother sighed gently. “What would you say if I told you I don’t want to leave Hartley Creek? That I don’t want to enroll in the program?”

It took a few moments for Brenda’s words to sink in.

“What? Why wouldn’t you want to do this?” Renee asked. “It’ll get you out of your wheelchair. You’ll be able to walk again.”

“Maybe, and maybe not. Even if I could walk again, there’s no guarantee I won’t need a walker to help me. I’ll still have limited mobility.”

Renee fought the reservations that always rose up when reality and her dreams for her mother collided. “The therapist gave us decent odds. About sixty to seventy percent mobility.”

“With a thirty to forty percent chance that nothing will change,” her mother continued. “I think the cost is too great for the return.”

Renee knew the odds. Those thoughts had circulated ever since they’d visited the clinic six months ago. “But the therapy is noninvasive, and what do you have to lose if it works?”

“Over a year of our lives and giving up everything we’ve built up here on a chance. A possibility.” Her mother leaned forward, her eyes bright. “I know it’s a dream of yours, and, for a while, it was a dream of mine. But I also know how many dreams this store has fulfilled for you.”

This store had been a uniting factor for the two of them. They had spent many therapeutic hours planning, buying inventory, starting up classes. That the store did so well spoke to how well they worked together.

“I’ve always had a bigger dream, Mom. To see you walk again.”

“I know that. But my dreams have changed recently.”

Renee felt an agitated undertow of resistance at what she was saying. But beneath all that, she felt the faintest drift of...relief?

If Brenda didn’t want to leave Hartley Creek, they could stay. Their life would go on.

Could something really happen now between her and Zach? If she and her mother didn’t leave town for the therapy program, they would have time to explore the growing feelings between them.

But how could she condone such a drastic change in their plans? Plans she had made for her mother’s own good.

“What’s changed?” Renee asked, confusion battling with the myriad other emotions she was experiencing.

Brenda blushed, then looked down. “I can’t tell you right now. It’s too soon.”

“Too soon for what? Can you be any more vague?”

“Don’t be flip. I just can’t tell you right now.”

“Mom, you’re talking about putting off something we’ve discussed repeatedly. Plans we’ve made for the past three, four years.”

“I know, but I feel as though I’m seeing things more clearly. We both know this store isn’t selling, and it’s causing pressure for you. We might not meet the deadline.”

“We can borrow the money.”

Her mother gave her a patient look. “We’ve looked into that option, and you know it’s not going to happen. So, speak to the chief therapist. Ask him if they can put the program off for a couple of months. Even a year.”

“A year? You know how long it took us to get into this program? There might not be a space coming up for a couple of years again.”

“Then I’ll call them. Tell them I’m dropping out.”

Renee recognized the look in her mother’s eyes. It was the same one Renee got when she wanted to do something and her mother wouldn’t let her.

“Can you give me a good reason for this sudden change of heart? Something more than ‘it’s too soon’?”

Her mother held up her hand in a
stop
gesture. “Call the doctor and tell him to postpone it.”

Her mother’s comments reinforced the doubts Renee had stifled ever since their initial visit to the specialist who had spoken to them about the therapy. But she had spent so much time and energy on this, she didn’t feel she could give up without a fight.

“We’ll be having a conference call with the chief therapist and his assistants next Thursday, and I’ll bring it up then. Before I do that, however, I want you to really think about this and pray about it, and I’ll do the same. We’ll talk again in a few days.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing already?” Renee accepted the faint reprimand with a slight inclination of her head.

“I’m sure you have been, Mom,” Renee said, reaching over to take her mother’s hand between hers and squeeze it. “You know this program has repercussions for me, as well.”

“And a lot of obligation.” Her mother reached over with her other hand and stroked Renee’s hair away from her face. “You are an amazing daughter, Renee. I thank the Lord every day for you,” she said quietly. Then she wheeled herself backward, spun around, opened the door and headed out of the room.

Renee watched her go. She closed her eyes and, as she always did, asked God to forgive her. Then she drew in a deep breath, knowing that, in the next couple of days, she had a lot of praying to do.

But even as she prayed, glimmers of hope flickered in her soul at the repercussions of not leaving Hartley Creek.

Was it now possible to think about her and Zach? She knew she hadn’t imagined the shift in their relationship. Her feelings for him grew every time they were together, and she sensed he felt the same. Could she truly explore the possibilities of that now?

She pushed the questions aside and got back to work. For now, she had to act as if nothing had changed. Tonight she was going to call Freddy. No matter what happened in the next month, she still wanted that lien resolved and off the store.

* * *

Two hours and one quick sandwich later, Renee closed up the store, locking the door behind her, relishing being outside for the first time since noon.

She slipped her book bag over her shoulder and was about to cross the street to Evangeline’s store, Shelf Indulgence, when she heard someone call her name. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized Zach’s voice.

She hadn’t seen or heard from him since Mother’s Day. She knew things were changing between them, but she hardly dared look too far into the future. Once, it seemed so clear. However, in the past couple of weeks, it had grown less distinct.

“Renee, wait up.”

She saw Zach striding toward her, briefcase in one hand, blazer bunched in the other. His chin was shadowed by stubble and his hair, usually immaculately groomed, was disheveled. His white button-down shirt, which he had rolled up the sleeves of, was tucked into faded blue jeans that he wore with cowboy boots.

Her heart did a flip-flop as he came nearer, his casually scruffy look giving him an appealing vulnerability.

“Hey there,” she said, her voice just a little shakier than usual.

“Hey yourself. You done for the day?”

She nodded, clasping her book bag with both hands as if she needed something solid to cling to. She poked her thumb over her shoulder at Evangeline’s bookstore. “Just heading over to my book club.”

“What book are you reading?”

“A mystery that takes place in Nigeria. It was Mia’s choice. She tends to like detective novels and murder mysteries. She has two boys and twin girls, and she’s on her own. Why she’d want to read about murder and mayhem on her time off surprises me.” Renee stopped talking, realizing that her nervousness around Zach was making her babble.

“What books do you enjoy?” Zach’s smile lit a spark of wonder.

“I’ve been accused of liking dark and depressing books. Maybe it’s indicative of my personality,” she said with a self-deprecating smile.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Zach returned, tossing his dark blazer over his shoulder and hooking it with his index finger. He gave her a crooked grin that didn’t help her equilibrium one iota. “Anyone who works in a store so full of glitter and ribbon and color can’t possibly have a dark personality.”

Renee noted the slight fan of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and the way the sun glinted off his hair.

“I actually have a reason for accosting you on the street like this,” Zach said, his gaze keeping hers captive. “Carter Beck invited me to take my horses out on the trails behind his ranch. Thought it would be a good way to give the horses some exercise.” He shrugged. “You said you used to ride, so I thought you might enjoy coming along.”

The invitation was a surprise.

“I’m not much of a rider,” she said. “Like I told you, not so much riding as hanging on. And a lot of laughing.”

“I’m not doing steeplechase,” Zach retorted.

Renee paused, thinking of the possibilities. She’d be spending another afternoon with Zach.

“I thought you might enjoy the ride,” he continued.

“Don’t you have to work?”

“I’m taking the afternoon off. With my father’s blessing. Besides, I don’t have such a heavy caseload yet. Still new in town, I guess.” He added a grin that sent her foolish heart into overdrive. “I know that Wednesdays you often have Ashley coming in to help you, so I figured it would be okay to ask.”

She couldn’t suppress her smile at the thought of spending time with Zach. Alone.

“She does, so it would work out.” She was done with inventory and didn’t have much else going on. She was fairly sure her mother wouldn’t mind. “Will Tricia be coming, as well?”

Zach shook his head. “No, she’ll be in school. I’ll pick you up at noon, if that’s okay?” Then he pursed his lips. “I forgot—will you need someone to watch your mother?”

“Ashley is coming, as you said, and I do believe there’s cell-phone reception up that mountain.”

“Right. Sure. Then we’ve both got everything covered.” Zach rocked back on his cowboy boots, then flashed Renee another smile that made her heart skip a beat. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” He took a step closer then, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, dropping a light kiss on her mouth.

Renee leaned into him, then when he drew back, felt the cool air on her heated cheeks.

“Okay. See you then,” she said, breathless, then turned and stepped out into the street, narrowly missing a collision with a young boy on a bicycle.

“Hey, watch it, lady,” the boy called out as Renee hurriedly glanced left, then right, then behind her to where Zach was still watching her.

“You okay?” he called out as she made it to the other side.

She waved off his concern, then stepped into Evangeline’s bookstore, feeling like a flustered teenager. She was acting like an idiot. Why couldn’t she be all calm and collected?

Because it had been years since she had allowed any man into her life, past the barriers she’d erected eight years ago.

Evangeline was bagging up the purchases of a man who looked to be in his mid-thirties, sandy-brown hair, pleasant features. He didn’t look familiar, but he was having an animated discussion with her.

Renee worked her way around the other side of the colorful display of children’s books, interspersed with stuffed animals and building blocks, so she wouldn’t look as if she was eavesdropping.

The walls of the store were lined with fiction on one side, nonfiction on the other, and between them there were chest-high shelves holding craft books, recipe books, picture books and children’s books.

Renee paused at the young-children’s section. Maybe Tricia would like a book, she thought, pulling out a chapter book that was part of a series dealing with girls and horses.