A Farewell to Yarns (19 page)

They pulled into the school parking lot and, seeing that he was probably going to have to park in the next county, Uncle Jim let Jane off at the door and drove away in search of a spot. Jane walked slowly along the hallway, feeling very nostalgic. The school district music curriculum started at the fourth-grade level with two big concerts a year with all the kids from nineyear-olds on up. Jane had been coming here twice a year since Mike was that age. Steve had always hated coming, but she'd loved it. In fact, it was the one motherly duty that she saw as uncompromised pleasure. Unlike Cub Scouts or field trips or cheerleading practice, it required nothing of her except to show up and enjoy herself. And unlike many of the awards assemblies she'd sat through, it was truly enjoyable. Even the little kids learning violins and sounding like they were stepping on ducks had a certain charm that made up for the musical slaughter. She found Thelma and the kids, and between them they managed to hold onto an empty place and flag down Uncle Jim when he finally came in. Thelma studied the program and started to point something out to Jane, who hastily said, "No, I'm not supposed to know what's on it. I promised Mike.”

Huddled like a row of roosting chickens on the bleachers, they watched as the kids started to file in and take their places. Front and center were the two grade school groups. All the little girls had on their Christmas party dresses, and the little boys looked pink and shiny, like they'd been plucked from their baths only moments before.

Flanking these groups were the two junior high orchestras. The little guys had bounced into the gym; the junior high slouched self-consciously. The girls were well dressed in a terribly trendy, too-old way, and the boys were pretentiously underdressed. They were, as always, a funny mix of

"shrimps and giants" as Jane had mentally dubbed this age group years ago. Some were still babies, others (usually the girls) had already shot up to adult height. Finally, after these groups had settled into place, the high school group filed in. They were the only ones in "uniforms." The boys all woreblack trousers and light green blazers with the school emblem on the breast pocket. The girls wore white blouses with a dark green vest and floor length skirts. True, a few of these skirts showed sneakers at the bottom, but on the whole, they were a spiffy group that came in with brisk, breezy self -confidence. They took their places in the semicircle of chairs set up behind the grade schoolers—more or less benevolent big brothers and sisters of the kids in front.

Mike took his place at the back, and as he looked over the audience, Jane managed to catch his eyes. She waved, and he nodded slightly in acknowledgment. After a few inevitable announcements—"A silver-blue Oldsmobile Cutlass by the front door has its lights on,”

“Last chance for ordering a Fruit-A-Month from the fund-raising committee,”

“Cookies and punch in the all-purpose room after the concert," the program c o m menced.

The youngest went first, and Jane let her mind drift. Virtually the only way to recognize what they were playing was by consulting the pro gram, and Jane wasn't allowed to look at one. How many times over the years had she sat here waiting for Mike's turn, wondering how it must feel to be the parent of one of those beautiful young adults at the back—and now she was one. And she'd discovered that these kids were as neat as they looked. She knew the band kids were often considered the nerds—Mike and his friend had rented a copy of
Revenge of the
Nerds
one night and laughed hysterically at the last scene when the main character asks everybody at the high school assembly to bravely step forward if they're a nerd and the entire band comes forward in a group.

Still, they were good kids. She'd come to be lieve that if somebody took a national survey of the incidence of teenage crime in general and compared it to the incidence of teenage crime among those who were in musical groups, there would be a clear difference. Maybe certain kids got into such things because they are basically law abiding, but she preferred to believe they became that way because of the nature of the group effort. Even more than in team sports, a favorable performance resulted only from each one doing his assigned part as well as possible without anyone trying to hog the spotlight. If only boys like the late and not-very-lamented Bobby Bryant could be in school bands, they might turn out very different. The grade schoolers got their just applause, and the junior high groups began. The contrast was impressive. This truly sounded like music—not good music all the way through, but it had its moments. They did a credible "Jingle Bells," which brought smiles to everyone. Finally it was the turn of the high schoolers. Jane didn't recognize the first two numbers. They were the sort of thing teachers like better than audiences—pieces that were technically challenging to the students and made the director look good in the eyes of his peers, but nothing to hum along with. The third number was a light classical piece that Jane recognized but couldn't have named. Chopin, she would have guessed. When they finished, there were a significant pause. What could the last piece be that Mike thought she'd like so well?

The violin section raised their bows, staring as if hypnotized at the director for a long moment and at his signal began the initial slow strains of the "1812 Overture." Her favorite piece of music in the world! Jane looked at Mike, who was gazing back at her from behind his tuba with a wide grin. Dear God, if she were not feeling sappy enough already, this would finish her off before it was over.

She listened, mesmerized by their expertise. A musical expert would undoubtedly have found plenty of flaws in the performance; Jane found none. It was magnificent. The can nons were done on the big drum by a boy who had prac ticed playing as Scottish marching drummers did, with a string from the drumstick around the wrist to allow for fancy, dramatic twirling between beats. By the time the bells started—a very small girl bent over the xylophone—Jane was openly weeping, and so were many other mothers in the audience. Even the parents who had no high schoolers were stunned by the performance.

When the last low note faded, there was a long, electric silence before the entire audience surged to its feet, applauding wildly. Mothers pulled Kleenexes out of purses and wiped their eyes; fathers clapped for all they were worth; little brothers hooted and cheered approval. A few parents spilled onto the floor and looked like they could hardly resist the impulse to run and hug their kids, who would shrivel and die of embarrassment if they did. Jim Spelling put his arm around Jane and hugged her close. "God, I'm proud of him," he said, his gruff voice sounding a bit choked.

Jane wondered how a day that started out with a funeral could possibly have finished so wonderfully. How could ugly, mean things like murder happen in the very same world where h i g h s c h o o l o r c h e s t r a s p l a ye d t h e " 1 8 1 2 Overture"?

Twenty-two

Jane got out of bed humming.

Y It was only eight o'clock, but she felt re freshed and wide awake, still in the afterglow of the band concert. She fixed a cup of coffee, fed the pets, and padded in slippered feet to the living room to have a quiet half hour of working on the afghan before she got the kids up for Sunday school. She became so engrossed in working on the last few rows that she lost track of the time. She wove the last loose thread into her creation, then spread it on the floor to admire it. What a shame she hadn't finished it earlier so she could enjoy it longer before having to sell it. It brightened not only the room, but also her spirits. Willard looked at the afghan and barked. She took it as a compliment.

“Do we get the morning off?" Mike asked, staggering in and sprawling bonelessly on the sofa. Max minced along the sofa back trying to determine what part of Mike's prone body he'd settle on.

“What do you—oh, quarter of ten! I don't suppose you'd go to the ten-thirty service with me, would you?"

“Nope. Do we have any orange juice?"

“Mike, in all your life have you ever known me to run out of orange juice? Toilet paper, yes. Butter, shampoo, light bulbs, cat food, clean sheets, yes. But never orange juice.”

Jane let the other kids sleep in, and she and Mike enjoyed a quiet morning together. Passing sections of the Sunday paper to each other and gorging themselves on sweet rolls, they didn't really talk much or about anything important, but Jane felt the time with him was probably more beneficial to both of them than a hectic race to church would have been. Quality time vs. quantity. One of those trendy pop-psych phrases that sometimes meant a great truth and most often were used as a cop-out by parents who couldn't bother to make time for the kids. Like nature vs. nurture. That was the most recent one, Jane thought as she stacked up the rumpled newspapers and the glasses that the orange juice crud was drying on. It was an interesting concept. For years, if not generations, mothers had been made to feel every fault a child showed was truly their parents' failing. Recently the women's magazines had been running pieces on the opposite theory—that
none
of a child's problems were the parents' fault, that people are born being what they are, and nothing in their domestic environment can change that basic character.

The truth had to be somewhere in between, or different for different people. But there must be something to the nurture theory. How else could you account for somebody like Bobby Bryant being Phyllis's son? Nobody ever mistook Phyllis for an intellectual, but at the same time, there wasn't a mean or selfish bone in her body. Bobby's creepy character certainly couldn't be attributed to her genes. But that wasn't entirely fair to some unknown adoptive parents. They wanted him and, while Joan Crawford's daughter might dispute the point, most people didn't go out of their way to adopt children in order to mistreat them.

Then, too, it took two people to make a baby. Maybe it wasn't Phyllis's genes, but those of the bo y s he 'd bee n marrie d to so briefl y. J a ne wished now that she'd asked more about him. What sort of kid was he? Phyllis had called him "ambitious and smart" or some such thing. Of course, from her sweet, simple vantage point, practically anyone could qualify for those adjectives. But could he have been a boy of strong character to let himself get swept into playing house?

Hadn't he even the wit to wonder if Phyllis might have been pregn ant—or didn't he care?

“Aren't you going to the door, Mom?" Mike shouted down the stairs. She'd been so deep in thought that she hadn't noticed her son leave the room, nor had she registered Willard's frenzied barking.

She opened the door to a blast of cold air and a Suzie Williams she'd never seen before.

"Good God, you look like you've been stepped on by the cavalry," she said graciously to her guest.

“Thanks," Suzie croaked. Her face was pale but with hectic red circles on her cheeks, like a little girl who's been playing with her mother's rouge. Her hair, straggling out from a knitted hat, was lank. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she was mopping pitifully at a Santa nose. "I feel like shit," she said unnecessarily. "Could I come in, or are you going to watch me like a biology experiment while I die on your front porch?"

“I guess you might as well be in my house, since you haven't the common sense to be home in bed at your own.”

Suzie staggered through to a chair in the kitchen. Collapsing in it melodramatically, she said in a voice that hurt to listen to, "A branch fell on the phone lines. I couldn't call. Jane, I need help."

“You need a doctor."

“I've called him and picked up the medicine already." She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out an orange plastic bottle full of capsules as proof of this statement. "But I'm supp o s ed to s i ng i n t he chur c h c ho ir co nce rt tonight."

“You not only can't do that, I'm sure you wo u l d n 't e v e n b e we l c o me to t r y. Y o u ' r e spreading germs like Typhoid Mary."

“The point is, the physical arrangement of the choir is as important as the voices. We're standing on risers in a sort of pyramid. All I need is somebody to stand in my place."

“Oh, no—not me, Suzie. I can't carry a tune, and the director despises me."

“You don't need to carry a tune. Just silently move your mouth and stand in my spot. Jane, I'd do it for you," she added pathetically.

This little favor turned out to be a bit more trouble and a great deal more interesting than Jane anticipated. The sample items from the bazaar had been set up in the morning and then put away again, so she was there early to put them back out, which was a good thing. The choir director, a music major turned insurance salesman named Ed Shurran was understandably upset when she informed him that she would be standing in Suzie's spot but not—she assured him—

singing.

“But you're a good five inches shorter than Mrs. Williams!" he said in a tone that verged on hysteria. "It'll spoil the whole look. And what about your robe? You'll be tripping over it in the processional.”

Most of the church offices were closed and locked, and a hurried search didn't turn up needle and thread but did reveal a stapler and cello phane tape. Jane managed a decent job of temporarily shortening a robe while Ed Shurran stood over her, wringing his hands. She then draped and started arranging the display table as the choir members started arriving. As she was stashing the last empty carton under the table, Albert Howard came over to her. "I hear you're standing in for Suzie Williams. Poor old Ed has his knickers in a twist about it.”

Jane chuckled at the English phrase. "With great reluctance, which is growing greater every second."

“Nothing to it. You're behind me in the processional and beside me on the risers. Come on. I'll walk you through it."

“That's awfully nice of you."

“No, it's self-defense. If I hang around the robing room, he'll try to sell me insurance. He always does.”

They practiced their measured walk down the aisle and onto the stage. Albert showed her a list of the songs, all of which were familiar to her. She wouldn't have too much trouble mouthing the words. "... And you just follow me out," he finished. "Want to run through it again?"