A Different Christmas (University Park #5) (11 page)

Coach Rush walked into the locker room and silence filled the air. My heart raced, unsure of what he was going to say or what to expect. With a deep breath, I braced myself for the blow. I was a grown man and I could take it. I had to own up to my mistakes and today was no different.

“Tough game, guys. Tough game.” He shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. “But I’m proud of you. Each and every one of you.” His eyes scanned the room and then stopped on me. “Especially you, Raven.”

Me?

I shot him a
‘WTF’
look and waited to see what he had to say.

“You went in there and executed the plan. Proved you knew the plays and did what you had to do to move the ball down the field. But in the end, Carolina was the better team today.” His shoulders rose and fell with each word. “But what I saw out there today was a true team effort. Gusto, motivation, and a pure desire to win.” He made a tight fist. “That’s what I want to see every week!”

“Yeah!” A few of the players in the back agreed.

I looked around, stunned at the words coming from Coach Rush’s mouth. Normally, after losing a game, he’d let us have it. What the hell had changed? Why was he giving us a pep talk instead? It didn’t make sense.

“Defense, you held them and kept them from running up the scoreboard. Offense, you did well, scoring us three touchdowns and an onside kick. Special teams, your efforts were right on track, too. This loss could’ve been a huge, but we gave them a run for their money and proved we’re not going to stay in the number ten spot for long.” He circled the room. “Oh, no, we’re moving up, guys.”

“Hell yeah!” the players agreed, raising their helmets to the ceiling.

“Next week’s a bye week, but we don’t have time to slow down. We’re playing Chicago the week of Christmas. Best thing is we’ve got home field advantage and I know we can win.” He turned to me, pointing a finger. “Isn’t that right?”

I squared my shoulders and sat upright. “Hell yeah, we’re going to win!”

“Yeah! Let’s do it.” The locker room erupted into a fierce chant of roars and yells.

“We can do it! We will win!” I agreed with them, pumping a fist in the air.

Coach Rush clapped. “What do you say, guys?”

We gathered around him, holding one arm up as our hands met his. “In New Orleans, we cook ‘em up just right and send them home, Cajun fried!”

“Alright, guys. Shower, and we’ll see you on the bus in an hour.” Coach turned toward me. “Raven, let’s talk.”

“Yes, sir.” I quickly removed my jersey and gear and placed them in my locker for the staff to collect. On the way to his office, I grabbed a towel, soaking it with the sweat dripping from my face. With each step I took, my legs shook and the ground shifted, threatening to swallow me whole. My gut told me not to worry. He wasn’t delivering bad news, but the demons, the ones I’d been learning how to ignore, were doing a number on me.

“Come on in and shut the door,” Coach said, rounding the desk.

Coach Randy was sitting on a chair, scrolling through his tablet and writing down something on a notepad. His brows knitted together and beads of sweat tinged his temples. His failure to acknowledge me caused my heart to beat faster, but I did my best to keep calm.

“We wanted to let you know we’re proud of how you played today. Despite throwing an interception, you played well.”

My heart flipped and I took a step back, nearly colliding with wall. “Thank you?” I said, but it came out more like a question than a statement. Leaning against the chair in front of me, I held on for support. “I’m not happy with the fact that we lost.” I pounded the top of the wooden chair. “I can play better than that.”

“Show us,” Coach Rush said, reclining in his chair. “Talk’s cheap. We want to see results.”

I shook my head, agreeing. “I will.”

“Lift your chin up.” Coach Randy set his tablet on the desk. “You’re dragging it on the floor, Raven.”

A slight laugh released from my mouth. “Trying, Coach. I’m trying.”

Coach Rush stared me, straight in the eye. “You screwed up and we lost. Time to get over it.” He leaned forward and slapped the table, causing it to shake. “I need you to show me you can be resilient and get your head back in the game. Can you do that?”

“Yes, sir. I can.” The words were hesitant to leave my mouth, but I forced them out with a believable tone. I was expecting Coach to tell me he was sorry, but O’Riley would be starting against Chicago. But from the way the conversation was going, that wasn’t the plan.

“Good.” He relaxed back in his chair again. “You’re going to be working extra hard these next two weeks. Coach Randy is already preparing for the game.”

“I’ve got some great ideas for plays and I want to review them with you when we get back.” The offensive coordinator tapped his stylus repeatedly on the cover of his tablet.

“Of course.” I released the death grip from the chair, feeling the tension release. “I love talking strategy.”

“I know you do, and you’re good at it.”

I smiled. “Thank you.”

Coach Rush glanced at the watch on his wrist. “Go shower and meet me in the press room in fifteen minutes. We’ve got an interview to do before we head to the airport.”

“Will do.” I turned to the door and stopped. “Thanks, Coach Rush and Randy, for the vote of confidence. I promise I won’t let you or the team down again.”

Coach Rush winked, and said, “Just show me on the field, Raven. Action is what I want to see.”

“The winning kind,” Coach Randy added.

I held up a fist, gave them a victory shake, and exited the office.

The press conference wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The reporters actually went easy on me, which was nice. As I sat on the plane, I thought about how far I’d come. The struggles and the ups and downs I’d face throughout my life. Half of them I could’ve avoided, but since I was dealt a shitty hand, I handled them as best as I could. I was working hard to get a new hand, and so far, the cards were looking great.

Despite how things were going and support from my team and the coaches, the demons reappeared. The voices told me what a loser I was and how Coach was done with me, despite his pep talk. My days of starting quarterback were over just as quickly as they had begun.

I would’ve believed the lies, but thanks to the sessions with Dr. Galen, I was handling them differently now. I had to. I’d worked too hard to get here. I wasn’t about to cower and let them win. Lexi needed me. The twins needed me. I was going to be the man Lexi needed and more. Most importantly, I’d be there for my children. Unlike me, they’d know their father.

Chapter 8

Lexi

My due date was nearing and the holiday season was in full effect. Cassie came over a few times a week and we went to our favorite French bakery, binging on java and pastries. I had done well managing a healthy diet, but lost all control at the end.

New Orleans had a unique, but eclectic hometown feel I quickly acclimated to. Local entertainment hung out on the corners playing Christmas music, which made it even more festive. Cassie and I shopped at some of the boutiques and I looked for that perfect gift for Raven. I had an idea of what I wanted to buy him, but hadn’t found it yet.

Despite her efforts to keep me preoccupied, it was hard to enjoy it. Maybe because Raven was gone most of the time, working long days as he prepared for games or watching video at night, studying his opponents. I did my best not to complain because this was his career and it came with the territory. I reminded myself constantly that during the offseason, Raven would be spending more time with the babies and me. That gave me something to look forward to.

Tuesday’s doctor appointment went better than expected. Our baby girl, who was closest to my cervix, had turned, head down. Giving birth to them naturally was a viable option. The doctor said once she was delivered, she could do a special massaging technique to turn our son. She also warned me if complications arose, she would have to perform a C-section.

Raven was supportive about me having a natural childbirth, but asked if they could induce me next Monday or Tuesday since it was his bye week. This would guarantee he’d be there with me. At first, I felt like he was being selfish, but I knew he didn’t have much flexibility. The doctor agreed and scheduled me for induction the following Monday. In six days, our babies would be here. It was a little nerve wracking, but exciting at the same time.

The next day, I called my mom to let her know. The phone rang several times before she finally answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mom.”

“Oh, hey, Lexi,” she huffed. “How are you doing? I’ve been meaning to call, but this week has been crazy. We had our annual Christmas Bizarre this past weekend and now I’m running like a mad women helping the church with their toy drive.”

My mother was a stay-at-home wife who busied herself with every elite social club in North Dallas. If it allowed her to rub elbows with the well-knowns in the community, she did it.

“Oh yeah, I guess it’s that time of year. I went to the doctor yesterday—”

“And?” She quickly cut me off.

I let out a silent sigh and continued. “They are going to induce me next Monday.”

“What? Why?” She seemed distraught as I broke the news to her.

“Our son is nearly seven pounds, our daughter is a little over six pounds, and since it’s Raven’s bye week, it makes it easier for us.”

“You mean for him.” Coldness laced her voice.

Although she was partially right, I refused to agree with her. “No, for us. I want him there with me.”

“But it’s the week before Christmas.”

“Um, I’m due on December seventeenth. This is just two days before.” I wasn’t sure why this was a surprise to her. She was well aware of my due date.

“Oh. I figured you’d be late and would go after the holidays. First babies are always late.”

“You had us two weeks early.” I kindly reminded her.

“Because you and Luke gave me so many problems. I was having contractions for five weeks straight. It was pure hell. It was a miracle you two survived. Heck, it was a blessing I made it.” She released a pitiful sigh. “You’re lucky you haven’t had any problems.”

“Yes, I am.” However, talking to her made me tense and irritable. It was stress I didn’t need, but at the same time, part of me wanted her here with me. “Do you think you and Dad will be able to come? You’re more than welcome to stay here. I have to be at the hospital at noon, so—”

A frazzled laugh echoed over the phone. “Oh, sweetie, the toy drive is this weekend and I’m co-chair. There’s no way I can make it. Monday I’ll be helping to oversee the distribution of the toys.”

I walked to the living room and collapsed on the recliner. Bitterness filled my mouth, but I kept it inside until the edges of my heart crumbled to my stomach, making me feel sick. My mother refused to set her social obligations aside to be there for me when I needed her most. “I see.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. You should have warned me this might happen.”

My fingers gripped the phone in a death lock. I wanted to choke the woman! “You knew I could go into labor anytime near Christmas. It shouldn’t be a surprise, Mom, seriously. But you know what…I don’t need you there. I’ll be fine.” I took several deep breaths, fending off the rage of tears forming in my eyes. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Lexi, don’t be upset. Your dad and I will be there after Christmas, like we planned.”

“Whatever. Talk to you later. Bye.” I hung up the phone, not waiting for her to say anything else. She was the most cold-hearted, selfish person I knew. Hell, she treated the damn dog better than she treated me. I’m sure if I were carrying Collin’s babies, she’d be on the next plane.

Bitch.

I chucked the phone across the room and sobbed like a big baby. Despite the tension between us, it hurt. She’d promised to be there for me and I’d honestly thought she would. I should’ve known better. Her social life was more important and she had made it crystal clear. All she did was make me upset and I didn’t need that in my life.

My phone chimed and for a moment, I thought it was my mom, until I recognized the sound. It was Delaney. Her timing was impeccable. I stopped crying and grabbed a tissue as I struggled to get off the recliner to retrieve my phone.

Delaney: What did the doctor say yesterday?

Leave it to my friend to remember I had a doctor’s appointment. My sorry mother couldn’t even do that.

Me: Good. She’s inducing me next Monday. 12 noon.

Delaney: Oh, wow! The twins will be here in six days!

Seeing the words
six days
made my heart flutter. Everything was happening so fast. Ready or not, I had to face reality. Raven and I would be parents in a few days.

Me: I know. I’m scared.

Delaney: Don’t be. You’re going to be a great mom and Raven is going to be a wonderful father. Just wait, you’ll see.

I hoped she was right. Knowing his past still had me a little on edge.