A Christmas Wish (4 page)

Chapter Six

Jemma was cleaning through her wardrobe looking for more presents to wrap when she found a box hidden behind the wall. She pulled the box towards her and saw the dust she must have missed. She frowned because she didn’t recognize it as hers. She pulled it down to the floor. The top was marked “private”, and her curiosity overcame her. She opened up the box.

She knew, by looking at the contents, it was Simon’s box. There were pictures from his college days, shots of the three of them together her, Ryan, and Simon. Several pictures of their family. She found trinkets they’d collected over the years and finally a collection of books. Taking out the first book she opened the first page.

The diary of Simon Stein.

These will be the words I’ve come to appreciate, the good and the bad. For the future you will be my book where I write my most treasured thoughts and to basically rant.

Jemma chuckled as she imagined Simon writing down every little thing he’d ever thought. She hadn’t had a clue that Simon had kept a diary, and she opened it up, curious. The first date was the day after they had first met.

September 27
^th
2004

Today I met the girl of my dreams. She’s beautiful, charming, and makes my cock hard.

Jemma sighed but wasn’t surprised at how crass he’d been back then. She’d been eighteen when they’d met.

Jemma, blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes. I couldn’t talk to her about the way I feel. I don’t even know what I feel yet. I can tell with the ache in my gut I want her for more than just a quick fuck.

A few months later she passed a few pages.

I know how much I love her. When I’m not with her, I think of when I’ll see her next. Jemma is in my every waking thought, and I want to be with her forever.

Jemma remembered how hard she’d fallen and thought the exact same thing.

My love comes with a price. I’ve seen the way Ryan looks at her. He loves her as much as me. I can tell, and I can see it. What do I do? I love this girl more than life itself, and I love my best friend like a brother. I don’t want to hurt him, but I couldn’t live my life without her.

Jemma couldn’t recall how Ryan was with her back then, but she could remember he was always there. The only time he hadn’t been there was when Simon and she had gone on their honeymoon.

I didn’t wear a condom last night. I told Ryan I wanted to get Jemma pregnant and what I’d done. He got pissed. Said all kinds of things about me taking the choice away from her. I love Jemma and want to be with her for all my life. I want her to be the mother of my children. What is so wrong with bringing it all sooner? I’m living my dream.

Jemma stopped reading after that last page. That had been the time she’d gotten pregnant. She’d been scared and alone. Her family hadn’t approved of her relationship with Simon. Jemma loved her children, but she hadn’t wanted to be pregnant as young as she was. At twenty she’d been a wife and a mother, two of the most stressful combinations.

Scanning the books, she went to the one marked “2010”. The same year he’d been killed. She went to the back of the book. The last entry had been the day he’d been in the accident with a drunk driver.

I had my first real fight with Jemma today. She’s pregnant with our third child. She wanted to wait for more children. Go to college or get whatever she needs to put her cooking to good use. Instead of waiting, instead of using a condom, I’d gone straight in and knocked her up again. Ryan witnessed her pain and the problems we’re going through. Ryan loves her so much, and I know that if something was to ever happen to me I would want Jemma to be with Ryan.

He is the only man who could ever love her, Bill, and Megan as much as I do. And I think she would be happy. She may not know it, but she loves Ryan as well. No matter what happens, or how much I fuck up, I love Jemma with all my heart, and I just want her to be happy. Being with Ryan will make her happy.

It was as if Simon was reassuring her about her developing feelings. She didn’t know if she’d always loved Ryan. She had enjoyed his company immensely, and even now, she still loved being with him. Jemma closed the book smoothing the cover. Her wedding band caught her eye. She twirled the simple band round her finger before she pulled it off completely. She knew in her heart she would always love Simon. He owned part of her heart, but if it had been the other way around she would have wanted Simon to move on.

Billy, Megan, and Sean were with their grandparents. Christmas Eve was tomorrow, and Jemma had everything ready for the fair.

Taking the diary downstairs, she found Ryan in the sitting room placing the wrapped presents under the tree.

“Hey, did you find those other presents?” he asked, placing another one under the tree. He turned to her when she didn’t answer. He looked at the diary in her hand before he looked back at her.

“Do you know what this is?” she asked.

He shrugged, placing another present under the tree before he got up. “It’s Simon’s diary.”

How could he know about Simon’s diary while she’d never even known he kept one?

“How do you know?”

“He used to keep one when he was younger and all through college, and I know he kept them. They were his own private thoughts,” Ryan explained.

“Do you know what he wrote?” Jemma had no clue as to why she was so emotional. The revelations she’d found in the few snippets she’d read had opened her eyes to something more. A part of Simon she’d never known existed. To other women having him plan a pregnancy for the need to be married would be a loving sentiment. To Jemma, she felt robbed of the option to choose for herself.

“I have a vague idea,” he said.

Jemma couldn’t cope. She held the diary out to him. “Did you know what he did? What he planned from the start? Did you know he already knew you loved me?” She couldn’t believe that Simon could be so heartless.

****

Ryan jolted at the words spilling from her mouth. He had hoped she never found out, and he knew all too well that Simon had known his feelings for Jemma. They had talked about it once back when Simon told him that he was going to marry Jemma. Ryan hadn’t fought for her then, but he would fight for her now. “What do you want me to say, Jemma? Do you want me to deny my love? To deny my honesty to Simon? I loved him like a brother, and he’s gone. Completely gone and won’t be coming back. You think you were the only one affected by his death? You’re wrong.” Ryan slammed the book down and moved to stand in front of her.

Picking up her hand where it fisted at her side, he opened it out and pressed her open palm to his chest. “I’m here, alive, and breathing. I love you, and I love those three kids as if they were my own. I wouldn’t ask you for anything but your love, some of your time, and to know every night you’ll be waiting for me in our bed.” Without any warning he slammed his lips down on hers, taking possession of her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her waist, bending her backwards to receive him.

“Kiss me back,” he said. Ryan moaned as her nails sank into his hair, holding him as her tongue thrust inside his mouth. He accepted everything about her, flaws and perfection. He loved and wanted it all with her.

“I want you so much.” He growled the words against her lips as he moved down to her neck, biting and sucking hard enough to leave a mark. He wanted his mark on her body. His stamp of ownership so everyone knew who she belonged to. He heard her cry out, but he didn’t stop. Ryan moved them back until she was pressed against the wall. He pressed her hands above her head, and he went in for another kiss.

Ryan moaned as she pushed against him. His hard cock pressed against her stomach. He wanted inside her. Ryan wanted to feel her cum sliding down his dick as he fucked her hard and fast.

Looking into her eyes, he moved his arms down to her shirt and ripped the fabric in two. He left her in her tracksuit and bra and knelt at her feet. He removed those hideous tracksuit bottoms so she stood before him in a thong and bra.

“Do you want this?” he asked, standing and ready to remove his own clothes. This was her time to put a stop to him.

Ryan’s heart soared as she shook her head, and stayed where she was. Instead of backing away or covering her body she undid the clasp of her bra, allowing it to fall away. Ryan needed no more words of encouragement. Within no time, his clothes joined hers so all he stood in was a pair of black boxer shorts.

He wasn’t gentle as he stroked her body. Ryan explored what she liked and what drove her crazy. Ryan tongued her nipples, and cupped her slick pussy at the same time.

“You’re so fucking hot. You’re dripping wet, baby.” He eased one finger past the fabric of her small thong, and found her desire. He swirled his fingers through her cream.

Jemma cried out. She gripped his arms to hold herself up. Her head was flung back and her eyes closed. Ryan watched the intense pleasure pass over her face. Her legs opened wider, giving him better access.

The thong was torn in two and thrown onto the pile of discarded clothing. A small smattering of curls covered her pussy.

“Fuck me, Ryan,” she said, begging him.
 

Lifting her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and he pressed her against the wall. He cupped his throbbing cock, and ran the tip through her creamy cunt, lubricating his dick with her natural essence.

Pressing the large mushroom tip to her entrance, he pressed inside her, slowly. He was large, and he didn’t want to hurt her. When he was inside her enough so he didn’t have to guide his cock, he moved his arms, wrapping them around her. Pressing her back to the wall, he looked deep into her eyes. He saw something shining within her dark eyes. He tensed and thrust deep inside her pussy. After the birth of three children she was still tight, and her abundant curves drove him crazy. Her cunt sucked him deep and tightened around him.

“Harder, Ryan,” she said. She tugged on his hair, exposing his neck, and she bit down, branding him the way he’d done to her.

There was no stopping the fire in his blood. He fucked her hard and fast.

Chapter Seven

Jemma didn’t know what came over her. All that mattered was being with Ryan. Getting her clothes off and being wanted again.

His dick pressed inside her, expanding unused muscles creating a delightful friction. Jemma begged him to fuck her. She wanted all of his hard, thick cock inside her to have him explode, and to know she caused it.

Jemma tightened her legs around his waist, holding onto him. Her nails sank into his hair, and she kissed him. Her tongue thrust between his lips tasting his morning coffee. They moaned as their bodies joined together, the fucking brutal and desperate. Ryan braced her against the wall, his hands pressing either side of her head as he fucked her. Jemma held on, her head falling back as his lips moved down to suck on each of her nipples.

“You feel so damn good.” He groaned, and she tightened her pussy with each thrust. Jemma was so wet. Considering the snow was outside with subzero temperatures, Jemma was sweating and Ryan as well.

“Harder, Ryan, fuck me harder,” she said, begging.

Growling, Ryan grabbed her by the waist and took her to the carpeted floor. Jemma held on as he positioned himself between her legs. She watched the glorious shiny length of his cock seat at her entrance and thrust all the way home. Jemma arched off the floor. Her pulse racing his dick filled her body.

Their moans, groans, and the sound of slapping flesh filled the silence.

“I want more,” he said.

Jemma cried out as he left her. He flipped her onto her knees, and in one smooth thrust entered her from behind. The angle rubbed against her G-spot making her climax instantly. She screamed and fisted her hands in the carpet.

“That’s it, baby,
scream
for me.” He held her as he fucked her hard and fast, his hand going to stroke her clit. Jemma could do nothing as her body became a minefield of pure, unadulterated bliss.

Jemma became a mass of nerves as with a few final thrusts he cried out in release. She couldn’t believe the power of his eruption inside her body.

They collapsed in a heap. She was exhausted, shocked, and scared. Their entrance into passion had opened up raw and angry sex, and so much more.

With her heart beating rapidly in her chest, Jemma turned to see Ryan collapsed with his arm over his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Jemma frowned, unsure what he had to be sorry about. He turned to face her, and she saw the tears in his eyes.

She wasn’t used to seeing a man cry. She leaned over and wiped them off his face.

“What’s the matter? Was I awful?” It had been over a year and a half since she last had sex, and she wondered if she was so terrible to leave a man in tears.

His hand came up and cupped her cheek, his thumb running along her bottom lip. Jemma bit his thumb playfully teasing him.

“I love you so much, and I’m sorry.”

She leaned over his huge body to give him a kiss on the lips, not a hardship with all those wonderful muscles. She stroked his cheek and smiled.

“What do you have to be sorry about?” Jemma couldn’t understand. Being with him, trusting him with her body, had been a momentous occasion for her. She had enjoyed it, and didn’t regret it, not for a second.

“I forgot to use a condom.” He whispered the words that filled her with the most dread.

Jemma recoiled from him and ran for the shower.