A Christmas to Remember (3 page)

“What do you have for me?”

“Something red and white and minty-sweet!”

“Oh yes!” she said, her little eyebrows rising in excitement.

“May I play?” David called, dumping all the blocks back out onto the floor, the multicolored shapes tumbling onto the carpet.

Carrie laughed. “Yes. You may play.”

One by one, the kids picked up blocks, saying, “Is this it?” and putting them into the bucket.

“I can’t tell you until they’re all in!” Carrie said.

Before long, the two children were hopping around, grabbing blocks and running over to Carrie, smiles spread across their faces. Carrie watched the curiosity in their expressions, the excitement they had, their small hands as they grabbed each block, and it warmed her. There was nothing better than this. She longed to have children of her own, to hear them padding toward her room down the hallway at night, to see them wild-haired and groggy-eyed every morning when they jumped into her bed to wake her up. She wanted to have a home where she had to step over toys to get from room to room, where she sat down only to find a baby blanket under the cushion. Being a nanny was about as close as she could get to that life, and she loved every minute of it. The children hurriedly put the blocks into the bin until the floor was completely empty.

Carrie walked over to the bucket and peered inside. “Hmmm,” she said, digging around. The kids were still bouncing with excitement, their eyes on her. She reached in and pulled out a red, square block. “Who picked this one up? I can’t remember,” she said, and both children threw their hands in the air.

“Me! Me!” they yelled.

“I think it was Olivia…” Carrie said, a mock look of confusion on her face. David’s face fell in disappointment. “Wait. Was it David?” David’s eyes widened, and he looked up from the floor. Olivia was spinning with her arms out like an airplane, every few seconds stopping to look at Carrie.

“I can’t remember! You two picked them up so quickly that I couldn’t keep up! I suppose I’ll have to give you
both
a treat.” She reached into her handbag and pulled out two red and white mini candy canes that she’d taken from the car and put in her bag at the last minute. “Put them in your pockets for after dinner,” she said. Both kids grinned, their little teeth like Natalie’s pearls, their bright eyes glistening in the lamplight.

“That was a good trick,” Natalie said, smiling at her. “I think you’ll enjoy these two. I sure did. Adam works a lot, so you’ll be on call twenty-four hours a day, but it’s a lovely family, if you don’t mind working all the time. As much as I love them, I’ve found a full-time position that only requires me to work during regular, daytime hours.”

Sadly, Carrie knew that she was the perfect person for the job. With nobody to come home to, there was nothing keeping her from spending every single minute with the Fletcher family. While she felt the excitement of being with the kids and having someone need her around the clock, she wondered if there was a whole world of happiness that she’d never experienced out there waiting for her.

T
ake
five minutes per day and do something that makes you happy
. That’s what Carrie had read in her book,
Finding Your Inner Happiness: Live Strong and Happy
. She should be extremely happy then, she tried to convince herself. She would be with children twenty-four hours a day. That’s one thousand, four hundred, forty minutes every day. She should be cartwheels-and-dancing-in-the-streets happy, but she still felt she could be happier. There was something missing in Carrie’s life, and she knew what was causing the giant hole. She just didn’t know how to fix it, though. She thought back to the suggestion in her book. If she could spend that much time doing something that she loved and still feel like her life wasn’t all together, how in the world would five minutes help? Carrie ignored the question for now. She had work, and the first thing to do was to meet with Adam to find out his expectations.

As Natalie left her at Adam’s office door, she thought about the commitment she was making. Natalie had said herself that Adam Fletcher was never home, and she’d have to provide round-the-clock care for the children. The thing was, while she knew that she should probably take a job with less work, join a book club, and begin having a social life of some sort, she didn’t really even know how to begin. Where would she go? She didn’t know anyone. She certainly couldn’t go out by herself in a city she didn’t know. So, she decided, for now, taking this job wasn’t so bad, because watching children was comfortable. She knocked on the office door.

“Come in, please,” she heard from the other side and, immediately, nervous energy raced through her fingers. It was probably a good thing that Adam worked all the time. Then she wouldn’t have to run into him as much.

Carrie opened the door to find him sitting behind a shiny, wooden desk, stained dark like everything else in the house. The entire back wall was covered in wood shelving like the playroom, and filled with books. Had he read them all? She wanted to walk closer and inspect the titles. One can learn a lot about a person by what books he reads. A floor lamp that reached upward and then curved toward the workspace cast a glow onto the surface of his desk. On his desk was a single picture frame but the back was to her, and she wondered if it had a photo of his kids. There was a soufflé ramekin next to it and a fork.

Carrie knew her dishes, and soufflés were one of her favorites. She could make sweet ones, spicy ones, savory ones… It didn’t matter, she loved them all.

Adam stood up. He had clearly noticed her looking at the dish. “I tried to make a soufflé,” he smiled sheepishly. “I absolutely love them, but I can’t seem to get it right.”

Upon closer inspection, she realized that he hadn’t
eaten
the soufflé, it was a withered, yellow spot baked into the bottom of the ramekin. The thought of such a successful person trying
un
successfully to cook gave her a little punch of amusement, and she had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. “They aren’t as fussy as you’d imagine,” she said after recovering. “It’s all about getting enough air in the egg whites, that’s all. I’ll bet you did everything else right.”

For the first time, with a little huff of laughter preceding it, he smiled at her—a big, warm smile—and she reached for the nearest chair to steady herself. Just seeing that smile made her wonder what it would be like to come home to someone in the evenings, have someone like him to talk to, another adult to ask about her day.

“Maybe you can show me how sometime.”

She swallowed so she could get words to come out of her mouth. “I’d love to,” she said.

“Have a seat.” He pointed to the chair across from his desk. “Natalie’s staying with the children until they’re in bed tonight. You won’t officially start until tomorrow. So, let’s go over your duties.”

Carrie was glad to sit down for two reasons: one, she could rest her hands on her thighs and keep them still, and two, her legs were becoming jellylike from their little soufflé moment. From what she’d seen so far, Adam was kind and warm, but there was something about him that was extremely intimidating. She could tell just by how he held himself, how smart he was and how fierce he probably was at his job. Whatever his career, he’d made a very nice living—so nice even that was intimidating. Carrie had worked for wealthy people before, but never anyone this wealthy. Her own upbringing was so different than this lifestyle, and she feared she may do or say something to draw attention to her different background.

“Shall we jump right in?” he said, forcing her to make eye contact.

“Yes,” she smiled nervously. To her dismay, she could feel the heat rising up her neck, and she knew she must be a splotchy mess. She was perfectly aware of how to sit, how to hold her shoulders, and how to smile to look confident, but her redness always gave her away. Her book didn’t have an answer for that. His expression was softer all of a sudden, as if he were taking her in. It only made her feel more nervous. He saw the red spots, she knew it.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said. “I haven’t even given you a moment to get settled. Would you like something to drink?”

Glass of wine?
she thought with amusement. She needed something to settle her nerves. If he gave her a glass to hold, she’d probably spill it all over her lap. “I’m fine, thank you,” she said, keeping her hands on her thighs.

“Okay then. Well…” He leaned on his desk with his forearms. It reminded her of something she’d read about how waiters should squat down by tables to take people’s orders in restaurants. Their proximity was supposed to put the patrons at ease. Was Adam trying to put her at ease? Could he sense her nervousness?

“I have a cleaning lady who comes once a week, first thing in the morning. Name’s Rose. So, you won’t have to clean while you’re here. Your entire focus should be the children. You’ll be moving into Natalie’s bedroom upstairs,” he said. “It’s closest to the kids’ rooms. I had her change the sheets today and clean up after herself, so it’s ready for you. Do you have your bags with you today?”

“Yes. I left them in the car.”

“No problem, I’ll help you get them in. It’s snowing quite a bit outside. We’d better do that soon.”

“Okay.”
Okay?
Carrie wanted to look like she knew what she was doing, because she did! But she was coming off like a complete fool. She could hardly string two sentences together around Adam Fletcher. For the first time in her adult life, she became conscious of her own expressions, wondering how she seemed to him. What did she look like to him? She had never contemplated the idea before; she’d always just acted naturally, but with Adam, she wanted to look confident and attractive. She didn’t know what to do with the fear that swept through her at the thought that she didn’t look anything like the person she wanted to be for Adam.

“Basically, the house is yours—whatever you need, feel free to use it. You’re in charge of the children the entire time they’re here. I have them until January, when they’ll return to their mother after Christmas break. You come highly recommended, so I trust you to use whatever techniques you feel appropriate, and I’ll let you know if I disagree with any of your strategies.”

“Do the children have any special requirements, any allergies or anything that I should be made aware of?” she asked, trying to get her mind back on the job. She was glad to be talking about the children. It was easing her anxiety a bit. Children, she knew.

“Nope. None that I know of.”

“Excellent. How about naptimes and bedtimes?”

Adam had looked so assertive, so strong, but with that question, she thought she saw uncertainty on his face—it was subtle, but she’d caught it. She wasn’t able to put her finger on it completely yet, but she sensed a stark difference about Adam and his children than she’d experienced with her other families.

He jotted something onto a pad of paper. “I’ll make a note to ask Natalie to leave you a list of specifics regarding times, food preferences, and the like.” He continued to write, and she was glad for the break in eye contact. “Let’s talk about Christmas,” he said.

Christmas!
She was so happy he’d mentioned it. “Do you celebrate it?” she asked carefully, surprised that he’d brought it up, given that there wasn’t a single decoration in the house.

“Of course!” He smiled again, sending her stomach into a whirl of flutters. “I’ve taken four days off over the holidays. My family is coming here since this is my first Christmas with the kids—they usually stay with their mother, but she’s off to Italy, the Amalfi Coast.” Did Carrie detect a wounded quality to his voice at the mention of his ex-wife? He cleared his throat. “My mother insists on coming, so you’ll have a house full of my relatives. Do not feel in the slightest that you need to entertain them. Your only duties are regarding the children’s needs.”

Again, she’d be put in a situation that she’d never experienced: having to watch the children under the eye of Adam’s family. Were they like him—extremely successful, intimidating…? Was she going to be nervous the entire holiday? She looked at the man across from her and tried to envision what his parents would be like. Who had raised this wealthy man who worked all but four days at Christmas? Who had made him into the person he was? Had he built quiet block towers in a museum of a toy room or had he sunk his hands up to his elbows in paint to see what all the colors mixed together might look like? She imagined that he was probably the block-type, and that only heightened her nervousness regarding his family.

“Are they staying through Christmas day?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“So… Were you planning to…” She didn’t want to offend him on day one, but she had to ask. After all, they were into the month of December. “Were you going to get a tree or anything?”

“Ye-es,” he said slowly with thought behind it. It was clear that the idea had only just occurred to him. “I’m sorry. I haven’t had anyone here at Christmas before, and with the kids always at their mother’s, I never did anything special for the holiday. I was going to give you a credit card to order a few gifts for the kids online. From me…”

Her eyes wanted to pop out of their sockets, her mouth wanted to hang down to the floor in exasperation, but she kept it all inside. What about Santa Claus? What about tree decorating and cookie baking? Didn’t he realize how important those experiences were? And didn’t he know what to buy his own children? No wonder they hadn’t run to him. They probably hadn’t spent enough time with him to feel anything for him! She hoped to goodness the kids got all those experiences at their mother’s because it was clear that Adam wasn’t going to do it. Then, she stopped herself. She was jumping to conclusions, judging Adam when she didn’t know all the facts yet, however clear to her they seemed.

“May I have a small allowance for holiday activities?” she asked.

“Absolutely. Buy whatever you’d like. And you can decorate the house too. It would make my mother easier to live with,” he grinned at her. So, he wasn’t completely closed off to the idea. Carrie wondered if, like the kids, he too just needed to get his hands in some paint to loosen up. She thought of his sleeves rolled up, his fingers covered in primary colors, the children beside him, that smile on his face… That perfect family picture she created started to spin anxiety through her stomach as she realized that she was fantasizing about someone who most likely would not ever put himself in that position. Then, quickly, she cleared her mind of it before the splotches returned.

“David and Olivia have a Christmas pageant on December twenty-first. The family may want to attend, but just to be sure I’ve got all my ducks in a row, I’d like you to be in charge of getting the kids there. It’s at five o’clock.”

She pulled out her cell phone and keyed in the date and time. As she did, she wondered if he was asking her to take them because he wasn’t planning on going. Wouldn’t he want to see his children dressed as little angels or the baby Jesus? Didn’t he realize that he only had a blip in his life to see them like that, and then they’d be too old?

“I’m sure you’re ready to have some supper. Shall we get your bags?” he asked.

“Okay,” she said, inwardly wincing at supplying her same one-word response. Perhaps in time, she’d get over the fact that he was successful, handsome, kind, and
single
… She could only hope.