A Christmas to Remember (25 page)

With his eyes still closed, Adam said, “How about green?”

“Yes! Green would look very nice.” Using her make-believe paint, she rubbed the end of his nose with her fingertip. “Now I’m going to put some eyebrows on…” She moved her finger along the bottom of his forehead. “…and I’m going to paint your cheeks pink.”

As Carrie watched the exchange between Adam and his daughter, she couldn’t believe how far they’d come. There he was at work, and he was completely in the moment. Olivia didn’t even realize the magnitude of this outing. Her daddy had not only taken time off work, but he’d invited his whole family out to see where he spent so much of his time, something he’d never done before. And now, he was sitting with Olivia on his lap as if it were a normal, everyday occurrence. He was making memories.

Olivia and David seemed so comfortable with him now, so relaxed. Carrie wondered how it had even happened. With all her other families, she’d always had a set list of strategies to help the children overcome whatever issues or obstacles they had, but this time had been different. It had taken a ton of tiny moments, all kinds of thoughts and feelings, and acting on those. Life wasn’t about things she could read in her books; it was about living it, and making it happen.

When Olivia had finished “painting” his face, Adam took her tiny hands in his and addressed the family. “I have an announcement to make,” he said, “which is why I’ve brought you all here today. I just need to go get Andy.” He lifted Olivia off his lap and stood her on her feet next to Joyce. “I’ll be right back.”

Carrie’s mind immediately went into overdrive. Why did he need Andy to make an announcement to his family?
My God
, she thought,
is he really seeing her?
Had that kiss been some kind of fling, a crazy night before he committed to Andy Simpson? Was he going to propose or something? Her mouth had dried out completely, and she couldn’t get a breath. Attempting to hide her complete panic, she looked around at the people sitting with her, but no one seemed to notice that she was losing it. Walter was talking to Bruce; Sharon and Eric were helping David get the straw paper off his straw; and Joyce was coloring with Olivia. Their faces blurred in front of Carrie as she tried to get her emotions in check. Adam Fletcher was never hers to have, she told herself. Even if she did feel like she finally belonged, all dressed up at that party, it hadn’t been real. He’d slipped. He’d been spooked. He wasn’t ready for commitment but now he was. She wasn’t sure which of those had been the case, if any, but now, she sat on the edge of her seat, waiting for Adam to announce whatever news he had regarding Andy.

Her chest tightened when she saw Adam and Andy come out of the office door and walk toward them side by side. She was beautiful, smiling, her hair falling loose and wavy over her shoulders. They looked like the perfect couple together, Carrie thought against her will. Everything about the both of them was perfect. Andy turned to Adam and smiled wider, and a wave of heat rushed over Carrie. She knew what kind of smile that was. It was an excited, anticipatory smile. It was an I’m-fond-of-you smile. It was the kind of smile Carrie had given Adam when she’d tried so hard not to. Her chest felt hollow, yet she could hardly get a breath as if her lungs were filled with water. She tried to see if they were standing closer to each other than normal. Andy
was
awfully close. Carrie was still scrutinizing when, to her horror, she saw Adam’s face. He was grinning at Andy! It was the same kind of grin that happened right after his little laugh he always did. It was a content, almost reflective smile.

“You all remember Andy,” he said, his gaze shifting to the table. “She’s a consultant with whom I’ve been working to expand Salty Shockoe across the East Coast.” He turned to the staff and beckoned them over. Tom, the hostess, and a few others stood behind the Fletcher family. Carrie had to work to slow down her breathing. She was about to hyperventilate.

He looked directly at Carrie. What was his expression? Was it apologetic? Was he silently apologizing for kissing her? She wanted to run out right then and there, but she couldn’t move until she heard it out of his own mouth. So many emotions were slamming around inside her head: She was terrified that he loved Andy, angry that he had kissed her if he wasn’t available, totally disappointed at the thought of Adam being with someone else, worried for the children—how would they handle someone new in their lives? Despite all her emotions, her face was blank, blank with the weight of them all.

“In life, sometimes, we need a partner…” he said.

Oh, God
.

“I’ve realized I can’t do this alone.”

Her fears made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She worked to control her breathing as she looked down at the table, not wanting to face what was being said right there in front of her. Maybe because she was curious or because she liked to torture herself, she looked back up at Adam.

“As you all know, I have been very busy with the expansion project. I know my work has consumed far too much of my time, and I need someone I trust to help me with this. That’s why I’ve hired Andy to manage the expansion. I will be overseeing the project, but it will be Andy who will be in charge of managing the whole thing. Her help on this phase of the business will not only be of huge benefit to the brewery, but it will give me more time to spend with you all.” He winked in the direction of the twins. “Congratulations, Andy.”

Everyone clapped, snapping Carrie out of her thoughts. He hadn’t said he was marrying Andy. He hadn’t even mentioned anything about being with her. Before she could process anything else, an unfamiliar man came forward and kissed Andy on the cheek. “I’m proud of you,” he said to her.

“This is my husband, Jack,” she introduced him.

Husband.

The entire table had gone about talking, but Carrie sat there stunned. Relief flooded her, filling every part of her body. Andy was married. All the thoughts she’d had and pushed away, all the potential moments she imagined she could make with Adam and the kids, they came floating back, her hopes rising up into the air with all the possibilities. All the looks Adam had given her, all the signals, had they all been real? Did he find her attractive? Did he like being around her as much as she liked being around him? Having Andy to focus on the expansion would allow him more time to be with everyone. With her?

He turned and looked at Carrie. She knew that look. This time, she knew without a doubt that it was meant for her. She wasn’t misreading it. He was letting her know how he felt. But now, she had so many questions: She was leaving in almost a week to return to North Carolina—what about that? The children would be with their mother again, and Adam wouldn’t need her anymore. How did he feel about her? What was he thinking? Did he want her to stay? All the questions were bouncing around her head still as everyone else broke into excited chatter.

Adam walked over to Sharon and sat down next to her. “I’m sorry,” she heard him say. “I’ve been awful and I’ll make it better. I promise.”

She smiled at him. “You just did.” She put her head on his shoulder, and Carrie looked away from them to keep herself from tearing up.

Carrie turned to all the familiar faces, and she thought how even if nothing went any further with Adam—she’d have to figure out how to deal with that—she was glad that she could leave knowing she had succeeded.

“
L
ook
!” Olivia said, her feet moving so fast Carrie worried she’d take a spill right onto the bricks of the sidewalk. She was pointing and running, David trailing behind her, as they made their way toward the area roped off for Santa. He was sitting on an enormous throne, his beautiful white hair and beard combed perfectly, little curls at the bottom. It was so cold outside that there wasn’t even a line, and Carrie wondered if Santa’s cheeks were blushed on or if the cold had done it naturally. He waved at Olivia with a white, gloved hand and let out a “Ho, ho, ho!”

“Hi, Santa!” Olivia said, slowing down to move through the velvet ropes to enter the area. She climbed onto his lap as David walked up cautiously. Once both children were settled, there was a snap and a blinding pulse of light as the camera went off, their images showing on the screen of a small monitor at the podium. As Santa made small talk with the children, Adam came up behind Carrie and, to her surprise, put his hands on her shoulders. It was a very personal gesture—his body close enough to her back that she could feel the warmth of him. She turned and looked up at him more out of astonishment than anything else. He looked as though he’d only just realized what he’d done, his gaze falling on his hands still resting on her shoulders. Then there was that little quiet laugh of his and a smile that made her forget all about the cold outside. She looked over at the rest of the family who were all watching the children. All except for Joyce. She was staring straight at Carrie with a smile on her face.

“And what would you like for Christmas?” Santa asked Olivia.

“I’d like my daddy to take me ice skating with Snow White.”

Santa Clause made eye contact with Adam and let out a loud chuckle. “Did you hear that, Dad?” Santa called. “That order’s on you, not me.” Adam laughed and nodded.

“And how about you, sir?” Santa asked David.

“I’d like to ice skate with Daddy too, but I’d also like a racecar set.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Have you two been good this year?”

“Oh, yes!” Olivia said and everyone laughed.

As Carrie watched them, she realized that, yet again, Adam had done it all by himself: he’d made another memory for the kids. He was a natural. She couldn’t wait to see what he would do next.

When the kids had finished chatting with Santa, and Adam had purchased more photo packages than he’d ever give out in his lifetime, he turned to Carrie. “Mom’s going to take the kids for a little while. Would you walk with me to get coffee for everyone?”

“Of course,” she said, feeling the excitement rush through her like fireworks.

They walked over to the coffee shop, the heat nearly overwhelming her as Adam opened the door and allowed her to enter. He stood beside her in front of the board with the offerings of various coffees.

“I want to guess which coffee you’ll get,” she said, feeling suddenly like she probably knew him better than he knew himself.

He looked down at her curiously, a smile playing at his lips.

“Hmm.” She walked closer to the board, her eyes scanning the various drinks. “Dark roast…” She moved over to the flavors. “I don’t see you as the sweet-coffee-type.” She looked him up and down.

He was smiling now, and she tried not to let it distract her.

“Maybe a
little
sweetness…”

She heard him chuckle. It made her stop and look at him, and, when she did, she felt her limbs go numb. He was telling her something in their unspoken language, something she wanted to interpret, but she was worried she’d translated it incorrectly. His face exuded so much affection that she dared not think it was her that was causing it. There was no way that she could make a man like Adam look like that.

“Hazelnut dark roast with milk,” she said before her nerves clouded her vision completely.

“I usually just get pot coffee. Black. But your suggestion sounds delicious. I think I’ll have that. What do you want to drink?” he asked still looking at her like he had been. She was so jittery, adding caffeine to her body probably wasn’t a good idea. “Want me to guess yours?” he asked. She nodded, glad that she didn’t have to speak.

“Definitely a sweet-coffee drinker,” he said with a grin. As he studied the board, she allowed herself to take in the sight of him. His thick brown coat was bunched up around the ends of his arms where he had his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he leaned toward the board to get a better look. His face was focused but light and happy while he searched the flavors of coffee. “Caramel is in there, I’m sure,” he said, looking over at her. She grinned. He was right! “And…” She hung on his every word, hoping he knew her well enough to pick what she liked. She’d feel terrible if he said something like cinnamon, which she’d never get. “Wait,” he said. “I see a drink that is exactly what I think you’d have. Caramel and Mocha. With light whipped cream.”

Perfect
.

“You got it, right on the dot,” she said, her heart going crazy. She was thrilled that he knew her well enough to know what she liked. How much more about her would he be able to guess? Could he guess how she was feeling right now? Could he guess how happy she was to be with him? Did he play their kiss over and over in his head?

As they stood in line, she looked around the coffee shop. There wasn’t anything special about it. She’d been in hundreds just like it. But, for the first time, she didn’t have her nose in a self-help book, and she wasn’t alone. She noticed the Christmas coasters, the paper snowmen that hung from the ceiling above the register, the lights nestled in the greenery along the windows. As she stood beside Adam Fletcher, whose face she knew so well now, she thought to herself how, without even meaning to, he was creating memories for her as well. This would be a Christmas that she’d remember for the rest of her life.