A Christmas Home: A Novel (14 page)

It all seemed so far away, not just in time, but also in other ways not so easily measured. Everything had been different then; harder yet more real. He wondered if he was becoming a typical old codger, convinced that the good times were gone forever. It also occurred to him that perhaps he was right. Something significant had been lost from their lives, and his reaction to that loss was entirely appropriate.

He continued his search under the tarps until he found an old steamer trunk. He couldn’t even remember exactly what was in it. The keys to the trunk were attached to the lock with a little piece of chicken wire. He opened the lock and cautiously lifted the dusty lid.

The contents were more dumped inside than organized in any systematic way. He found papers, owner’s manuals
to tools and equipment—most of which had long ago been discarded—some old clothing, and a few old black-and-white photographs. He wasn’t in the mood to dig deeper through the contents. Just as he was shutting the trunk lid the overhead light glimmered on a small piece of wood trim and glass. He hesitated and then dug down and removed a framed photo. He pulled it out for a closer look. He had forgotten about this picture.

It was of him as a small boy riding on his grandfather’s tall shoulders. Bo McCray was carrying a large and heavy milk can with his right arm while clutching one of George’s tiny legs with the other. George blew the dust off the framed photo. It was still dirty, so he removed a cloth handkerchief from the back pocket of his jeans and wiped the picture clean. He wondered if Mary Ann had ever seen this.

Naturally, after his nostalgic voyage through the barn, George wondered if Todd’s working in the dairy business was somehow preordained, almost inevitable. The more he thought about it, the more logical it seemed. Todd’s working at the dairy would tie up all the loose ends in his son’s life and their family history. This old photograph said so much. He wanted to share it with Todd and try to explain to him that he had the chance to become a fourth-generation Kansas dairy farmer. To George, that meant continuity with the land and the place he called home.

George left the barn and headed back to the house, pocketing his new treasure in his jacket. He poked his
head through the back door and found Mary Ann at the sink, washing dishes. “I’m going down to see Todd. Do you want to go?” he asked.

“I can’t right now, but why don’t you take Christmas with you? He could use the exercise.” As he was prone to do, the Lab had wandered up from Thorne’s cabin to their house early that morning. He had scratched on the back door until Mary Ann let him inside.

“Come on, Christmas! Let’s go see Todd.” George and Christmas walked down the east side of the hill to the cabin, George all the while tossing a tennis ball he kept in his jacket pocket, handy for Christmas. George’s leg still felt stiff and sore, but the muscle ache loosened with light exercise, and by the time he made it halfway down the hill he was moving well. Christmas seemed to have a similar experience. After a few minutes he was eager to chase after the tennis ball and enjoy a brisk morning romp.

George waited patiently for Christmas to amble back with his prize. In the distance George could see his small herd of Angus cattle moving slowly up from the creek. “Come on, Christmas! Bring me the ball.”

The morning light poked through a small hole in an otherwise overcast sky, and what almost appeared like a giant spotlight fell on the field where the dog was trotting. George held his hand up to shade his eyes from the sun’s sudden glare. Old as he was, Christmas still moved gracefully. George loved to watch the dog’s elegant motion.

When Christmas caught up, George took the tennis
ball and they made their way down to the bottom of the hill and to the front door of Thorne’s cabin.

“Good morning, Dad.” Todd was glad to see George, but he also seemed preoccupied. “I have to be at the shelter by twelve. I’m meeting lots of people. We’re getting ready for tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, Todd, I won’t stay all day.” George took a seat on the sofa while Christmas greeted Todd as if it had been weeks and not hours since he had last seen him.

“Dad?” Todd turned away from the dog and looked at George. “How do you decide if something is a good Christmas present?”

George wondered where this conversation was going, but decided it was best just to go along for the ride and enjoy it. “If the person likes the gift, then it’s a good gift.” George looked at his son affectionately and shared with him an observation that he and Mary Ann had made on many occasions. “You’re an excellent gift giver.”

“I try to give people things they need.”

George pointed to the black Lab resting on the floor of the cabin. “That was a good gift.”

Todd sank down beside the dog. “I agree.”

“What would you like this year?” George asked his son.

“I think I would like to stop worrying all the time. About work, friendships, where to live … stuff like that.” Todd paused. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know where I belong.”

This statement bothered George. “Todd, I hope you
know you’ll always belong here with your mom and me. This is your home just like it’s ours.”

“Dad, can I ask you something else?” Todd looked at his father and gave voice to something he had been thinking about for days, probably for weeks—maybe even months. “What does it feel like to be in love?”

As prepared for Todd’s bluntness as George usually was, the question surprised him. He wondered if this was what was lingering behind Todd’s concern about where he belonged. Here was an area of discussion that the two of them had never explored. George felt a little uneasy. He tried to remember how it had felt for him when he was a young man and experiencing romantic love for the first time.

“I guess it feels pretty scary at first. When you get it right, it’s very nice. When you get it wrong, it can really hurt.”

Todd’s face lit up, like he knew exactly what his father was talking about. “How do you make sure you get it right?”

Todd deserved to know the adult answer, but it was a hard truth. George put his hand on his son’s shoulder and did his best to answer. “Most of us spend our lives trying to get love right. We go through periods when nothing could be easier than being in love, and then there are times when getting it right seems almost impossible. We make mistakes. I did. You will, too. The main thing to remember is that it’s always worth the effort—trying to get it right.”

Todd put his hand on Christmas. Love seemed to trickle up from the dog’s black fur. “With dogs, getting love right is easy.”

“Getting love right will be easier for you than it is for the rest of us. Just like being a good gift giver, when it comes to the love department, you’re a natural.” George helped Todd get where he suspected his son was headed. “Are you asking me this because of Laura?”

“Yes—maybe I’m in love with Laura.”

George tightened his grip on his son’s shoulder. It was his turn to feel protective toward Todd and to worry about the inevitable heartbreaks of romantic love. He had to admit he felt a little anxious about confronting another milestone of his son’s development. George loosened his grip and said, “Love is like the prairie grass in the meadow behind this cabin—if you give it time, deep roots will take hold. Once that happens, it’s nearly impossible to dig it up, and it will grow strong and spread till it chokes out all the weeds. So take your time with this, Todd. Don’t rush it. Let the roots of your love grow strong.”

Todd thought another moment and then asked, “Did Mom still love you while you were gone in the war?”

“That she did. There’s a whole box of letters up in the closet to prove it. She wrote me every day.”

Todd looked at his cell phone and George could tell that Todd was about to shut down. It had been a good conversation. There was no need to push it any further.

Then George remembered the reason for his visit.
“I want to show you something,” he said, taking the old framed photo out of his pocket and handing it to Todd.

Todd studied it for a few minutes. “Who is that man?”

“That’s your great-grandfather, Bo McCray. You would have really liked him.”

Todd continued to look at the picture more closely. “I know who he was—Grandpa Bo. But I never got to meet him. Who’s the little boy?”

“It’s me, Todd.”

“That’s you!” Todd exclaimed in the astonished way only Todd could.

“Yep. We were coming up from the barn. Just finished the milking. I was hitching a ride on his shoulders. He liked to carry me that way. I always felt I was riding on the back of a giant.”

“Grandpa Bo sure looks happy. I think he liked having you on his shoulders.”

George missed his grandfather, and he felt a moment of heavy loss. He looked away, afraid that a tear might appear. He exhaled long and slow and then looked at his son. “I suppose he did. He was pretty good about loving dogs and people—just like you. You two are a lot alike.”

George let another minute or two of silence set in. It had been a privilege to ride on the shoulders of Bo McCray. He wondered if he could ever be such a figure for his own son.

Todd looked at the grainy black-and-white photograph. “It looks like a long time ago.”

“It was. Sometimes it seems farther away than I can imagine.” George remembered the reason for the trip down the hill. “Todd, I just want you to know that you did great finding something decent on the job menu and jumping out there and trying to get it.” He stopped just short of telling Todd that he wanted him to go into the dairy business. Like Bo, and like George, Todd would make his own way in the world. “I thought you might like to have the picture to put on your wall.”

“Thank you, Dad. I think you’re a good gift giver. I like the picture.”

George stood up. “Your mom and I are planning on driving to the mall on Sunday. Let us know if anything changes.”

WHEN THE
McCray family arrived at the shelter on Sunday, the
Channel Six News
truck was already in the lot. Brenda Williams had asked her crew to drive out to Crossing Trails to get some shots of the dogs and cats in their cages and of the volunteers loading them up for the trip. The crew complained about driving for two hours to get fifteen seconds of footage, but Brenda was in charge, insisting that before-and-after shots would be powerful. “We can open with the shelter shots and then show pets with their new owners, after the adoptions take place. And wait until you meet the shelter director.” Still they grumbled. But once they went inside the shelter, saw the dogs and cats, and met Hayley, they decided the Problem Solver, once again, was spot-on.

Hayley was nervous about their kickoff event. An hour earlier she had finished one of a series of exhaustive
meetings with the mayor and the city manager to work out the details of closing the shelter. The city manager confirmed the year-end date for vacating the building. Each little step taken made the unimaginable seem painfully real. The shelter was really going to close. The mayor tried to soften the blow. “You know, Hayley, even if the county had not pulled out of the shelter partnership, we were going to have to make changes. Every city department has had to cut its budget so we can keep our expenses in line with our revenues. Things were going to be tough either way.”

Haley shook her head. “Is that supposed to make me feel better, Mayor?”

Arriving at the shelter later, Todd called out, “Hayley? I’m here. Are you ready to go?”

She’d been there since 6:45 that morning, grooming and feeding dogs, gathering supplies, cleaning out cages, and double- and triple-checking her master “to-do” list for their event. Hayley and Todd had selected the fifteen most adoptable dogs for the event, as well as two cats. Hayley made an effort to get each of them taken outside for one last potty break before setting off on the long drive to Kansas City for the day’s event.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Todd.” Hayley ran down her list one last time and let out a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

As all the shelter volunteers, among them George, Mary Ann, and Laura, gathered in the lobby, Hayley and Todd handed out directions to the Mall of the Prairie and
reviewed the plans for how they would set up once they arrived.

Laura slipped her arm around Todd’s shoulder and gave him a friendly squeeze. “This is going to be fun!”

He squeezed back. “It’s not just fun, Laura. It’s work!”

“Work that you love doing, Todd.”

George took note of what she’d said and exchanged a look with Mary Ann.

Hayley wrapped a red and green scarf around her neck as she rallied her troops. “Let’s load up and get on the road!”