A Christmas Bride (12 page)

“We’ll talk later,” Kayleen said, rescuing him. “I know hitting a bully seems like a good idea, but it’s going to get you into a lot of trouble. Not only with the teachers and with me, but as As’ad mentioned, you could get hurt.”

“All right,” Pepper grumbled. “But sometimes boys are really stupid.”

Dana looked at As’ad. “What good thing happened to you?”

“I decided on a bridge. There is to be a new one over the river. After much planning and discussion, a choice was made. I am pleased.”

All three girls stared at him. “You’re going to build a bridge?” Nadine asked.

“No. I have given my approval and told them what to do. Now they will do it.”

“Cool,” Dana breathed. “What else can you tell people to do?”

“Can you throw them in the dungeon?” Pepper asked. “Can I see the dungeon?”

“One day.”

Her eyes widened. “There’s a real one? Here? In the palace?”

“Yes, and sometimes children who do not behave are sent to it.”

They all went silent.

He chuckled. “So, Kayleen, what was your one good thing for today?”

This, Kayleen thought as she tried not to stare at the handsome man at the head of the table. This dinner, this moment, with the girls having fun and As’ad acting like they were all part of the same family.

It wasn’t real—she knew that. But all her life she’d wanted to be a part of something special, and here it was.

Still, she had to say something. “There are stables nearby,” she told the girls. “I found them when I was out walking.”

All three of them turned to him. “Horses? You have horses?” Dana asked.

“We love horses,” Nadine told him.

“I can ride.” Pepper paused, as if waiting for As’ad to be impressed. “I’ve had lessons.”

He turned to Kayleen. “At the orphanage?”

“A former student left several horses to the school, along with the money to pay for them. Many of the children ride.”

“Do you?”

There was something about his dark eyes, she thought, knowing she could stare into them for hours and never grow tired of the effect of the changing light.

“Badly,” she admitted. “The horse and I never figured out how to talk to each other.”

“That’s because horses don’t talk,” Pepper told her, then turned to As’ad. “Kayleen falls off a lot. I try not to laugh, because I don’t want her to hurt herself, but it’s kinda funny.”

“For you,” Kayleen murmured.

The main door to the suite opened and a tall, gray-haired man strode into the suite.

“As’ad. There you are. Oh. You’re having dinner with your family.”

“Father,” As’ad said as he rose.

Father? Something nagged at the back of Kayleen’s mind, before bursting free. Father? As in the king?

She jumped to her feet and motioned for the girls to do the same. Once they were standing she didn’t know what to do next. Bow? Curtsy?

As’ad glanced at her, then the girls. “Father, this is Kayleen, the girls’ nanny.” Then he introduced each of the sisters. “Ladies, this is my father, King Mukhtar.”

Three mouths dropped open. Kayleen kept hers shut by sheer force of will.

The king nodded graciously. “I am delighted to meet all of you. Welcome to the royal palace of El Deharia. May you live long, with happiness and health in abundance. May these strong walls always protect you and provide solace.”

Kayleen swallowed. As greetings went, it was a really good one.

“Thank you so much for your hospitality,” she murmured, still trying to accept the fact that she was in the presence of a real live king. Which meant As’ad really was a prince.

She knew he held the title, but she didn’t think of him as royal or powerful. Yet he was.

The king motioned to the table. “May I?”

Kayleen felt her eyes widen. “Of course, Your Highness. Please. We weren’t expecting you, so the meal isn’t exactly...traditional.”

The king took a seat. As’ad motioned for them to resume theirs. Mukhtar studied the various serving bowls, then scooped some macaroni and cheese onto a plate.

“I haven’t had this in years.”

“It was my pick,” Pepper told him. “It’s my favorite. They make it really good here. Sometimes, at the orphanage, Kayleen would sneak us into the kitchen and make the kind in a box. That’s good, too.”

The king smiled. “So my chef has competition.”

“Not really,” Kayleen told him. “His food is amazing. I’m honored just to eat it.”

As’ad looked at his father. “In an effort to fill her day, Kayleen went down to the kitchen and offered to help. It did not go well.”

Kayleen felt herself flush. “He was a little insulted. There was a crash. I’m guessing he threw stuff.”

“Was that the night my soufflé was burned?” the king asked.

“I hope not,” Kayleen told him.

He smiled. “So what conversation did I interrupt?” he asked.

“We were talking about horses,” Nadine told him. “We rode and took lessons at the orphanage.”

The king looked at his son. “Horses. I believe we have a stable, do we not?”

As’ad glanced at the girls. “The king is teasing. The palace stables are world famous.”

Dana leaned toward him. “Do you have horses that go fast?”

“Faster than would be safe for a novice rider.”

She wrinkled her nose. “If we took more lessons, we would be experts.”

“Exactly,” As’ad told her.

The king nodded. “I agree. All young princesses should know how to ride. I will speak to the head groom myself and arrange lessons.” He glanced at Kayleen. “For all of you.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, because it was expected.

“You do not look excited,” As’ad whispered to her.

“Pepper wasn’t kidding about me falling. It happens all the time.”

“Perhaps you need more personal instruction.”

She stared into his eyes as he spoke and found herself getting lost in his gaze. It was as if he had an energy field that pulled her closer. She had the oddest feeling he was going to touch her—and she was going to like him touching her.

“Riding is an enjoyable way to get exercise,” the king said.

“Has anyone asked the horse about that?”

She spoke without thinking—something that had often gotten her in trouble back at the convent. There was a moment of silence, then the king laughed.

“Very good,” he said. “Excellent. I like her, As’ad. This one may stay.”

“I agree,” As’ad said, still looking at her in a way that made her thighs feel distinctly weak. “She will stay.”

Would she? Kayleen wasn’t so sure. She still had her life plan to fulfill and that included leaving El Deharia in a matter of months. A situation complicated by As’ad and her promise to the girls.

CHAPTER FOUR

AFTER THE KING left and dinner was finished, Kayleen sent the girls back to their suite while she lingered behind to speak with As’ad.

“There are just a couple of things I need to discuss with you,” she told him when they were alone.

“I’m learning that with you, there always are.”

She wasn’t sure what he meant by that, so decided to ignore the comment. “It’s only about six weeks until Christmas,” she said. “We have to start planning. I don’t know what happens here at the palace, but this is the girls’ first Christmas without either of their parents. We have to do something.”

He studied her for a long time. “El Deharia is a very open country. All faiths are celebrated here. No one will object if you wish to set up a tree in your suite.”

“It’s more than that,” she said, telling herself there was no reason to be afraid, even though As’ad was much taller than her and having to look up to meet his gaze gave her a crick in her neck. “You need to participate.”

He looked shocked. “I do not.”

She’d had a feeling he would be difficult.

“You’ve always had family,” she pointed out. “Your brothers, your aunt, your father. These girls have no one. The holidays are going to be sad and scary and they’re going to feel so alone.”

Kayleen spoke from experience. She still remembered waking up on Christmas morning and feeling an ache in her chest. No matter how many presents had been donated to the orphanage, no matter how the nuns tried, there hadn’t been
family.

She hadn’t even had the dream that a wonderful couple would find her and want to adopt her. She had plenty of relatives—just no one who wanted her.

“They need traditions, both old and new,” she continued. “They need to feel welcome and loved.”

His expression tightened. “Then you will take care of that.”

“But you’re their father now.”

“I am someone who agreed to let them live here. Kayleen, these girls are your responsibility, not mine. Do not cross this line with me.”

“I don’t understand. You were so great with them at dinner. Are you telling me that was just an act? That you don’t care?”

“I have compassion. I have honor. That will be enough.”

Was he kidding? “That’s not enough. It will never be enough. We’re talking about children, As’ad. Lost, lonely children. They deserve more. They deserve to be loved.” She wasn’t just talking about the children—she was talking about herself. The difference was she’d already given up her dreams.

“Then they will have to find that love in you.”

She took a step back. Her throat tightened and her cheeks were hot. “You’re saying you don’t plan to love them?”

He might as well have said he was going to kill them in their sleep!

“I will honor my responsibilities. In doing so, it is necessary for me to be strong. Emotion is weakness. You are a woman—I don’t expect you to understand. Just trust me, it is so. I will see to the girls’ needs. You can take care of their hearts.”

She didn’t know what to say or where to begin to argue with him. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard,” she told him. “Love isn’t weakness. It’s strength and power. The ability to give means you can be more, not less.”

He actually smiled at her. “Your passion is a testament to your caring. That’s excellent.”

“So it’s okay for me to have emotions, but not you? Because you’re a man?”

“More than a man,” he reminded her. “A prince. I have responsibilities for others. It is my duty to stay strong, to not be swayed by something as changeable as feelings.”

“Without compassion, there can be no judgment,” she snapped. “Without feelings, you’re only a machine. A good ruler feels for his people.”

“You cannot understand.”

“And you can’t mean this.”

“I assure you, I do.” He took her arm and walked her to the door. “Celebrate Christmas however you wish. You have my permission.”

“Can I have your head on a stick instead?” she muttered as she jerked free and walked out into the hallway.

Of all the stupid, annoying things she’d ever heard. He wasn’t going to feel anything because he was a prince? But it was okay for her because she was a woman?

“No way,” she told herself as she headed back to her own rooms. “Something is going to change around here and it isn’t going to be me.”

* * *

“IT’S SO EGOTISTICAL,” Kayleen ranted the next morning as she paced the length of her living room. “So two hundred years ago. He gets to be in charge because he’s a man? What does that make the rest of us? Chattel? I’m so angry, I want to throw him in the dungeon until he begs. I’m smart. I’m capable. And I have a heart. Why can’t he see that emotions give us depth? They define us. Are all men so stupid? I have to tell you, Lina, the more I see of the world, the more I long for the convent.”

Her friend smiled at her. “Is it possible your energy and intensity on this topic is one of the reasons you
weren’t
called to serve in that way?”

“That’s what I was always told when I was growing up. I was too passionate about things. Too willing to go my own way. It’s just when I see an injustice, I can’t stop to think. I act.”

“As you did with Tahir.”

Kayleen remembered the tall chieftain who had wanted to take the girls. “Exactly.”

“Life does not always move on your timetable,” Lina said. “You need to be patient.”

“Don’t act impulsively,” Kayleen said, knowing she’d heard the same advice a thousand times before.

“Exactly.” Lina patted the seat next to her. “As’ad is a product of his world. His father taught all his sons to avoid emotion. To think logically. While my brother grieved after his wife died, he chose not to show that to the boys. In front of them, he went on, as if unmoved by her passing. In my opinion it was the wrong lesson.”

Kayleen agreed. “Because of that, As’ad won’t care?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “He’s not stupid. Why can’t he see the truth all around him?”

“He has been trained for a specific purpose. His is a life of service, in a way, but with ultimate power and ego. You haven’t met his brothers, but they are all like him. Strong, determined men who see little virtue in love. It’s probably why none of them have married.”

“But love is strength and a great gift,” Kayleen said as she sat on the sofa. “He has to love the girls. They need that. They deserve it. He would be better because of it. Happier. Besides, there’s a ticking clock here.”