A Broken Promise (8 page)

“We need to get going. Don’t you think you should get ready?” Dad asked, his spoon in suspension.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t. I’m already ready.” I felt a little annoyed that I didn’t look like I was up to his standards. I didn’t need to look beautiful all the time. He just shook his head in disappointment before taking a bite of his cereal. “Where’s mom? I thought she was going too.”

“She…changed her mind,” dad said cautiously. “No big deal.”

“But-“

“Drop it, Jenna,” he warned.

“I’m going to get the newspaper,” I said in a monotone. Honestly, I just wanted to get out of the house. I had a fifty percent chance that Keiffer was going to be outside and we would talk. Even if there wasn’t a big chance, I still wanted to take it.

Reaching down for the paper, I looked over at his house. It looked still, as though no one was home. I took a deep breath, knowing that I probably wouldn’t be seeing him before I left this morning. On my walk back into the house, I heard my name being called. It sounded like a female voice so I knew it wasn’t him.

Indigo was standing out in the yard in the flowerbed picking weeds from the garden she had planted when she moved in. She had dirt smudged across her cheeks, and she was wearing a pair of red gardening gloves. “Jenna, I heard it was your birthday,” Indigo said excitedly.

I nodded my head. “Eighteen today.”

“Well, happy birthday.” She gave me a hug, careful not to get any dirt on me. “You’ve been really good to Keiffer. I just wanted to thank you for being so nice to him. He’s been having a hard time since his father died a few years ago,” her eyes shifted over slightly. “He probably told you about it.”

“A few
years
ago?” I asked, feeling like someone just dropped a ton of weight on my stomach. “I thought it happened when he was a child.”

“No, he was a teenager. Fourteen to be exact. Depression runs in the family on Mark’s side. He had been depressed for awhile. I should’ve never left Keiffer alone with his father that weekend. Blew his brains out right in front of the poor child.” She used the back part of her hand to wipe her nose. “Thought Keiffer was going to a bit crazy too. But since we moved here, he’s been doing much better. He’s even listening to music again.”

“Music,” I whispered. I was the one who told him his music was crappy. What if I was going to be the one to make his depression act up again? What if I was his demon?

“No pressure on you, of course,” Indigo quickly added. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable in any way. Listen, you don’t even have to be friends with him if you don’t want to…”

“No, I do,” I said quickly. “He’s a nice kid.”

“The nicest. A bit quirky,” she laughed. “But he really seems to like you.”

I was about to say something else, before I heard my dad calling me. I looked over my shoulder, seeing him and Brad already driving down our driveway. Brad was watching me cautiously as I talked to Keiffer’s mom. She and I said our goodbyes before running over to the car. Getting in, I could feel Brad’s icy glare. He, obviously, had some questions and I had to give him the answers.

He didn’t ask me anything right away, but after an hour into the car ride, he leaned over and whispered to me so only I could hear. “Why were you over at Keiffer’s house?”

“His mom just wanted to wish me a happy birthday.” I glared at him playfully. “Something that you haven’t even bothered to do today.”

“I thought that’s what I was going this morning,” he said playfully back, touching the tips of my hair. “And that’s what I’ll be doing tonight too.” I felt my back straighten. I forgot that I had planned to sleep with him. I felt myself start to sweat. “Honey, it’s okay, we will just cuddle. I just want you in my arms, no matter what we’re doing.”

“Do you mean that?” I asked.

“Of course. I love you and it doesn’t matter if you’re not ready. I will wait as long as I have to.” He looked up to make sure my dad wasn’t listening. “Sex doesn’t define this relationship, Jenna. I don’t need it in order to know how much you love me.”

I rested my head on his shoulder. “You really are the best boyfriend in the world, aren’t you?”

He laughed, “I try to be.”

By the time we got onto the boat that brought us over to the island, I had almost forgotten about last night with Keiffer. Brad and I stood at the railing of the boat, feeling us glide over the water. The wind was blowing my hair around, but I never felt more alive. Brad wrapped his arms around my waist, letting myself fall into him. This was a perfect moment, a moment that I would always remember.

After the boat docked, we carried our luggage up to the Grand Hotel. One thing about Mackinaw Island – there were no cars allowed there. Your only sources of transportation were your feet, bikes, and horses. We decided to use our feet because the hotel wasn’t too far from the dock. The island was busy but not so busy that there were crowds all over.

Brad opened the hotel room door for me. My jaw dropped as I walked in. It wasn’t just a hotel room, it was a whole suite. There was a king size bed in the middle of the room with a red canopy. A family room was hooked onto the bedroom, complete with a sofa and plasma screen tv. Peeking outside, we had our own patio that overlooked the entire island. Dad’s room was right next door, which meant we would have enough privacy for tonight.

I jumped on the bed, landing directly on my back. “This is perfect,” I breathed out. Closing my eyes, I could make out Keiffer’s face. I quickly opened my eyes, wanting to get his image out of my memory. There was no need to think of him at a time like this.

“Let’s get out and enjoy the day,” Brad suggested. He took my hand as we walked over to my dad’s room. Knocking only once, dad opened the door, he looked stressed.

“Oh, hey, guys,” dad said. He wiped the sweat from his brow. “Just got off the phone with your mom.”

“Is she okay?” I asked.

Dad shrugged his shoulders. “Sure she is. How about you kids go out? Go celebrate your birthday, sweetie.” His kissed my cheek quickly. “Take good care of her, son.”

“I plan too,” Brad answered confidently. I hesitated leaving my dad, especially because I could see the hurt in his eyes. But I took Brad’s hand anyway and we went out to explore the island a bit.

We ate almost every chance that we got. Mackinaw Island was all about fudge. I probably tried every flavor of fudge that was ever invented. It wasn’t like I was complaining or anything, but I couldn’t believe the amount of food we went through that day. The whole island was full of tourist shops. We browsed through each store, buying little trinkets for all of our friends.

“Oh my gosh, Brad,” I exclaimed as I held up a zebra print tank top that read Mackinaw Island. “Wouldn’t Lacey just love this?” Lacey loved anything zebra print. Checking the price carefully, I brought it up to the cashier.

“Here, let me get it,” Brad said while taking out his wallet. He paid that money to the cashier and held onto the bag for me. Both of his hands were already full from how many things I had purchased throughout the day.

Before exiting, another t-shirt caught my eye that read,
I’m a fudgie
. I laughed out loud while passing the shirt. It definitely reminded me of Keiffer. People in Mackinaw who came only to visit the island were called fudgies because they only came for the fudge. I didn’t want to tell Brad about the shirt so I kept it to myself.

“Where to now, princess?” Brad asked, looking around the island. “It’s getting dark, should we go on a carriage ride?”

I nodded my head, my mind still on the shirt. I just had to get it for Keiffer. “Actually, that sounds like a great plan. Let me go back inside and use the restroom. In the meantime, do you want to see if there are any available carriages for the night?”

As soon as he agreed, I took off inside, watching carefully through the window to make sure he had left. Once he was out of sight, I grabbed the t-shirt and brought it up to the cashier. As soon as I paid her the money, I stuffed the shirt into my purse. The cashier eyed me suspiciously but I explained that it was a present for my boyfriend. She seemed to get the hint of my story and dropped her facial expression.

Luckily, Brad was able to get a carriage for us. He helped me into the small bench and he slid in across from me. I got to face forward, whereas Brad had to face opposite. He didn’t seem to mind though. By this time the moon was out and the stars sparkled above us like Christmas lights. The only sounds we could hear was the lake lapping up on the shore and the clip clap of the horse’s hooves against the pavement.

Brad took my hands in his and we sat across from each other, drowned in love. I almost felt like I could fall asleep, so he scooted across and sat next to me. Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, I rested my head on the crook of his neck. He was so comfortable, so secure…he was my everything.

Without warning, the carriage stopped and we were escorted off. I looked around at our surroundings. We were on the beach and the only lights that shone upon us were from up above. Brad took my hand and we walked to where the lake met the sand. He had me sit down on a large rock while he quickly cleared his throat.

“Jenna,” he began. “Meeting you four years ago was a fluke. I thought you were beautiful, but I didn’t think I would ever be good enough for you. You proved me wrong the morning you and I bumped into each other in the hallway. Honey, that one moment changed my life forever. That one moment has made it so that my life has been perfect with you.

“Jenna, I never want to give this up. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I know we are both young. Still in high school. Still teenagers. But we have so many goals and I know that if we make each other a priority then this love will last forever. So I present you with this…a promise ring. I promise I will stay faithful to you, forever and for always. I love you, Jenna Horowitz, and I hope that you would stay faithful to me too.”

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as the ring sparkled under the stars. I didn’t quite know what to say. I wasn’t expecting him to give me a ring. I knew it was only a promise ring, but wasn’t the necklace that he gave me last year supposed to represent the same thing? I didn’t really want a ring…it made our relationship too official.

“This ring is a symbol of our love. It’s a symbol of what is to come. Perhaps an engagement ring is in our near future, but right now, we need to just focus on the present. This ring is supposed to take place of the engagement ring…as least until we are old enough to take on the responsibility of marriage. Could you do the honor and be my future fiancé?”

I slowly nodded my head, not willing to say anything out loud. He was the love of my life, wasn’t he? He slid the ring onto my barren finger. It fit perfectly on my size five finger. I twirled it around under the stars, letting them twinkle over the small diamond. This was a big moment in my life, why wasn’t I more thrilled?

That night, once the carriage dropped us off at the hotel, I was shaking of nerves. I knew what I was expected to do, but I didn’t have the courage to let it happen. He opened the door for me, and I flew to the bathroom, sliding onto the bathroom door. The tears came harder and harder now. I didn’t quite know why I was crying, but the tears were coming. I looked down at my ring again. It really was beautiful. Maybe I was the luckiest girl in the world, or maybe I was going to make the worst decision of my life.

“Jenna, sweetie? Are you okay?” Brad asked, knocking on the door.

I vigorously wiped the tears off of my mascara stained cheeks. “Oh, I’m fine,” I lied through the door. “Just brushing my teeth.” I quickly got up from the floor, splashing my face with cool water. After staring at my dripping face in the mirror for a few seconds, I brushed my teeth like I told him I was.

Nervously, I opened the bathroom door. I was half expecting him to be naked in bed or taking out a box of condoms, but instead he was sitting on the bed, fully clothed, and sitting there on the laptop. He hardly looked up at me as I entered the room. I stared at him from the bathroom door. That was my future husband. Could I picture myself going to bed next to him each night? Knowing that he was a good guy, I sat down on the bed next to him. He turned off the laptop, turning his attention to me.

“So, how was your eighteenth birthday?” He asked playfully, rubbing his hands against my shoulders. I closed my eyes because it felt so good.

“It was pretty great,” I admitted. “Everything about today was amazing. You’re amazing, Brad.” I let out a sigh as he massaged my back.

“Anything for my girlfriend.” He started to kiss my neck. My heart beat faster but I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to stop.

I was feeling a little turned on after the massage. I rolled onto my back, letting him climb on top of me. He slipped my pants off, exposing my lace panties. No guy had ever seen my in just my panties. Next was my shirt. That took him no time at all to get off. He stared at my bra as though he had never seen one in his entire life. I felt a bit squeamish under him, but I helped take his own shirt off. He started kissing me again. Just as he was about to slip of my panties, I placed my hand in between us.

“No,” I said quietly, shaking my head. “No, I’m not ready. I…I thought I was…”

“We’re going to get married,” Brad reassured me. I knew he wanted this badly. In fact, I wanted this badly, but I wasn’t quite sure I wanted it with
him
. I wasn’t quite sure I wanted anything with him…even the ring.

“I can’t, Brad. Sex is so…personal. I don’t want to get hurt,” I cried.

“I won’t hurt you,” he wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I could never imagine hurting you. But please, Jenna, how am I supposed to know you love me?”

“You told me that I didn’t have to show you my love like this,” I said harshly. He got the hint and climbed off of me. After slipping my shorts and tank top back on, I headed over to the bathroom, getting ready to cry again.

And that’s exactly what I did. I cried.

Chapter 7

The car ride back home was kind of an awkward one. Brad and I were somewhat okay, but there had still been that awkward situation in the hotel room that we wouldn’t be able to shake for a while. It wasn’t like I wanted to ruin this whole surprise for him, it just took me by such surprise that I couldn’t react in any other way.

By the time we got home, mom was waiting for us out of the porch. She gave both Brad and me a hug as soon as we got out of the car. Brad must have warned her about the ring because she demanded to see it as soon as she let me out of the hug. She complimented everything about it for almost a good five minutes. I kept nodding my head and twirling my hand as Brad and her talked about the planning of the ring, the cut, and the overall appearance. In the meantime, I couldn’t help but look over at Keiffer’s house. He was nowhere to be seen.

Brad carried my bags up to my room. He shut the door behind him so we could be alone. He sat down at my desk chair, not saying a word. Our eyes would meet once in a while, but nothing too exciting.

“So you don’t hate me, do you?” He asked nervously.

“What?” I laughed. “Brad, I could never hate you!” I quickly got up from the bed and sat on his lap. “I love you and there’s nothing you can do about it,” I teased.

“Good, because for a moment I thought you were going to give me the ring back.”

“Well, you did surprise me. But, it’s nothing that I can’t handle.” I held my hand up so I could see the ring better. “I’m pretty sure that I will make a great Mrs. Copeland.” I kissed him softly on the lips. “Mrs. Jenna Elizabeth Copeland. That actually doesn’t sound that bad.”

He nodded his head. “I could get used to that.”

“I’m pretty sure I could too,” I laughed. He kissed me one last time before making his exit. Even though I said that I could get used to it, I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure.

Finally, getting to bed around eleven, I realized that there was no way I would be able to relax. I had been tossing for nearly an hour before I decided that I would not be able to fall asleep for at least another few hours. It was Sunday night which meant school tomorrow. It wasn’t like me to be awake on a school night. I knew I was going to regret this in the morning.

I got up from my bed, twirling my finger around so I could see the ring better. It was still there…as blunt as ever. Making my way to my window, I noticed that Keiffer’s light was still on in his room. I studied his room a bit longer, wondering if I would be able to see him. Grabbing his souvenir t-shirt that I had purchased from the island, I made my way over this his house.

Standing out in the cold, I started to toss some pebbles against his window, the same way that he did mine. Shortly after, his face appeared from his room. I caught my breath, feeling a little awkward that I was the one who was now trying to get his attention.

“Well, hiya, neighbor!” He called down to me. I shushed him, telling him that my parents didn’t know that I was over there. “What brings you around this neck of the woods? Thought you would be too busy
doing
your boyfriend?” His smile was a little more demonic looking…as though he were angry with me. I could see the look in his eyes, one that made chills run up and down my spine. Keiffer was battling his demons, but I wasn’t quite sure what I had to do with it.

“Will you be quiet?” I snapped. “Gosh, Keiffer, can you be anymore rude?”

“Just asking a question. Last I knew you were ignoring me…”

“Can I just come up? We’ll talk about it in your room.” I shivered from the cold wind. All I wanted to do was just get inside.

“My room? Wow, how many rooms are you going to be in in just one weekend? I knew you were an awesome student, but I didn’t know you were a slut too.”

My jaw almost fell to my knees. I stood looking up at him, tears forming without command. How could he say something like that to me? That’s the way it was with him. We would take one step closer to being friends, and then we would take two steps back. I turned my back towards him and stomped my way back to my house.

“Jenna,” I heard him call from his window. “Jenna, I’m sorry. Jenna, please wait!” He slammed his window shut and ran over to my house. He made it just in time before I opened the front door
.
“Jenna, I didn’t mean it. I…I don’t know why I said it.” He looked defeated, like he truly did want to apologize.

“Why would you say something like that?” I snapped, wiping the tears from under my eyes. “I’m anything but a slut!”

“I know. Jenna, I know.” He placed his hand onto my shoulder.

“Then why?” I yelled. I didn’t care if my parents could hear me or not. What kind of a person calls another person a slut?

He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess I’m just jealous.”

“Over what?” I sobbed. “There’s nothing to be jealous over. Of this?” I held up my left hand, where the ring sparkled under the porch light. He stared at it mutinously.

“You’re engaged?” He asked, almost as though he was watching someone get murdered.

I shook my head. “No, Brad gave this to me last night on my birthday.  It’s not an engagement ring, but only a promise ring. It’s to promise that we’ll be with each other no matter what. I guess it’s the pre-step to being engaged.” I slowly looked up from the ring, then into Keiffer’s eyes. I knew then that I wasn’t ready for that big step with Brad, at least not yet.

He held his arms out to me, allowing my body to fall against his. Tears streamed from my eyes as he held me tight in his arms. I didn’t want him to let go of me…not yet at least.

“Why are you crying?” Keiffer asked. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

I sniffed. “I’m not ready for this reality. Keiffer, he wants to get married!”

“That’s because he loves you,” he responded sweetly. “Don’t you love him back?

I slowly nodded my head. “I think so. I don’t know. He’s a good guy, but he’s the only guy I ever dated.” I pulled out of the hug, placing both of my hands on his shoulders. “I didn’t lose my virginity to him this weekend. Doesn’t that say something about how I feel?”

He nodded, obviously happy about my decision. “I think you made the right decision,” he shrugged. “When the right time comes, you’ll just know it.” He placed his hand on my cheek lightly. “I think that if you’re ever going to do it, you need to be completely sure that you love him…and
I think so
doesn’t cut it.” He pulled me into another hug, this time running his fingers through my hair. “I’m proud of you.”

“You are?” I asked, looking up at him. He smiled back down at me, this time showing off his perfect dimpled cheeks.

“Of course,” he responded. “You stood up for yourself. How sexy it that?” Realizing that it was much too soon, he quickly let go of me, dropping his hands to his side.

The awkward tension between was almost too much to handle. Quickly remembering the t-shirt, I held it out to him. “I got this for you.”

He took the gift slowly, his fingers slightly grazing my own. “You got me something?” I shrugged my shoulders as though it was no big deal. “You go on this super sexy birthday date with your boyfriend and you end up getting me…” He opened the t-shirt to read the front. “You got me a super cool shirt!”

“It just reminded me of you,” I answered back, my cheeks glowing with excitement. He leaned in and gave me another hug, and this time neither one of us wanted to let go. His curly hair felt so smooth between my fingers, and my chest fit perfectly against his. It was as though we were literally built for each other. It was Keiffer who pulled out of the hug first.

“Well, um, Jenna, it was nice to catch up but I’ve got to go.” Running his fingers through his hair nervously, he turned around and headed back to the house.

I longed for him to stay. He made me comfortable…something that I always adored about him. “Wait, Keiffer!” I called. He turned around, waiting for me to keep talking. “I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime.”

He let out a deep breath and lightly kicked a stone that was sitting next to his foot. “I don’t think so,” he responded before walking into the dark shadows. I could hear his front door shut and I knew that I had officially been discarded. Maybe that was part of his plan. Maybe he was trying to get me to like him back. Well, he succeeded…kind of. I still hated his guts, yet, I wanted to be back in his arms again. I didn’t know how that worked, but I couldn’t help those feelings from showing up again.

By the time morning came, I was so exhausted that I had pressed snooze about a million times. I knew that I had to get up, but sleep sounded way more fun than school. Next thing I knew, Brad started shaking my shoulder. First I thought it was all a part of my dream, but then once I came to, I realized that it was only him. He looked frantic, calling my name over and over.

“What?” I snapped, rolling onto my side.

“Are you going to school today? You need to get up. It’s already seven-thirty,” he responded.

I shot straight up in my bed, knocking our heads together. I let out a moan, rubbing my forehead. Realizing that I was going to have a killer headache for the rest of the day, I threw off my covers and tossed Brad out of my room. I had less than twenty minutes to get dressed. That’s when the reality hit me. The ring. Keiffer. Love. The ring. Keiffer growing bored of me. The ring. I looked down at my finger, the blunt diamond sparkled under my light. I knew that today would be filled with congrats and hugs…and basically everything that I wasn’t in the mood for. Instead, my eyes shifted over to Keiffer’s house. It was quiet, something that I had expected.

Throwing on a pair of sweatpants, ones that I only wore for working out, and just putting a bra under my shirt that I had slept in, I scooted down the stairs. My mom stared at my hair, then at my lack of makeup, and then at my clothes. She pursed her lips tight, not quite sure what to say.

“Would you like me to call-in sick for you?” Mom suggested. I stared at her with disgust. What did it matter what I wore to school? It wasn’t like I had anyone to impress…anymore at least.

“No,” I responded quickly. “I look fine the way that I am.”

“Dear, you must do something with your hair,” she piped up again. I threw it in a frizzy bun. Placing my hand on my hip, I dramatically waited for her response. “Honestly –“

“Mom!” I shouted. “I look fine! Come’on, Brad, let’s go to school.”

“Well, I…” he hesitated. I growled at him, watching his facial expression in disgust.