A Broken Beautiful Beginning (4 page)

“You look happier Connor.” I grin. It’s true, he seems so much more relaxed and at ease than I’ve ever seen him before.

“That’s because I am happy Harlz. I’m so fucking happy I could shit rainbows. I should’ve come looking for my family a long time ago. I was held back by my father’s
leash
for so long that I finally just broke. I had a degree for something I hated, I was working for someone I hated and it was all because I didn’t have the balls to leave my father alone. I know it’s fucked up and I only realized how fucked up it was when his new girlfriends started getting younger and younger. One of them snuck into my room and climbed into my bed, when I kicked her out and told my father about it he blamed me. That was it, I was done with him and all his tramps so I packed my shit, finally found my own place and quit my job, that was three years ago. I heard from a client that Caleb was now living here so I decided to stop by; I didn’t expect to find you or Willow though. Big fucking surprise that was!” He chuckles.

I laugh, “I’m just glad your back. Holly is so happy to see you Con, she
must have missed you so much.”

He gives me a sheepish smile, “Missed my mom and brothers too. Willow’s met those two little shits right?” I smile and nod.

“Well I better get started on my sucking up. She can’t like them more than me. I’m going to make sure it’s known who her favourite uncle is!” He winks at me then scurries off the counter and out the kitchen.

That evening after everyone has left I lay in bed next to Caleb unable to fall asleep.

“
What’s wrong baby?” Caleb pulls me closer into his side. I’m thinking about what Anna told me and I know he doesn’t deserve it but I’m worrying about Jace, I can’t tell Caleb that though.

“What did you say to my father? You guys were
real chatty.” I look up to him, resting my chin on his chest. He moves his fingers through my hair and a huge grin appears on his face as he looks down at me.

“Your dad is a fucking
legend! I told him about you, how much I love you and how I thought about you the entire time we weren’t together. Told him about wishing I knew about Willow when you found out, then I told him about what I did to you and how I’ve regretted it ever since. Seems like your father and I have a few things in common.” He looks away as he mumbles these last words.

“
He told me about your mother and Anna and the shit that went down between the three of them. He loved every minute of watching you grow up and he can’t imagine what I went through knowing I missed those first years of Willow’s life.” He ends off in a rough voice then clears his throat. I can feel his pain even though he won’t actually say the words.

My regret for keeping Willow from him those four years is a painful reminder I live with every time I catch
him looking at her baby photos or every time he asks me about what she was like as a baby.

I lean up and give
him a hard kiss, I want him to forget about the past and only think about what’s happening right now.

He grabs hold of the ba
ck of my head and tugs me against his chest. He pulls away enough to run his tongue over my bottom lip. I spread my lips a little and he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue in to meet mine. He rolls me over gently, careful not to crush me with his weight as he leans his body over, his leg between mine. He supports his left elbow on the pillow next to my head while his other hand rests on my jaw near my hairline.

I run my hands up his bare chest and rest my right one on the tattoo that covers his heart, Willow’s name
being the new addition to his piece. He moves his knee up slowly and leans against my left leg, I can feel his very evident hard on. I moan against his mouth when his knee that rests between my legs pushes against me. This ignites something in him because next thing I know, he’s tugging on my hair as he takes my mouth harder.

“Jesus…” he says through kisses. “I’ve missed your taste.”

His words cause a shiver to work its way up my body. I raise my hands and run them through his hair tugging his lips back to mine. He moans so loud and I feel the rumble of his chest against mine.

We have to keep our voices low since the house is so quiet, the only thing that can be heard is the sound of the crashing waves since we’re situated so close to the beach. Suddenly, I hear the sound of little footsteps on the wooden floors of the hallway leading to our room.

We both freeze
for a few seconds and then suddenly Caleb climbs off of me. I cover my mouth as I start giggling. He adjusts himself under the covers then looks over to me, “Need to get used to that.”

I watch the light from the hallway creep in as Willow quietly opens the bedroom door and
peaks inside. I put the bedside lamp on for her to see but she’s already on her way to my side of the bed.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” I ask her softly
as I lean over and push her messy hair from her face.

Looking her over I notice
the bottoms of her princess pj’s are drenched. She’s all teary eyed and red faced. Caleb watches the exchange quietly from the other side of the bed.

Willow leans up and moves her hand to cup her mouth as if she’s about to tell me a secret. I lean over as I wrap my arms around her.

“I wet my bed
Mommy. I didn’t mean to.” She says in a muffled voice.

“Oh sweetie
…” I sit up in the bed and wipe away all her tears.

“L
et’s get you in the bath. What do you say?” I tell her softly. She looks over my shoulder at Caleb as if she’s waiting for him to say something. He moves onto my side of the bed and leans over the side to pull her into his arms, he holds her for a few seconds then gives her a big kiss on her cheek and climbs out of bed before disappearing out the bedroom door.

After bathing and dressing her in a fresh pair of pyjamas I walk her to her room just in time to see Caleb making her bed with clean linen. He walks up to Willow and picks her up and throws her in the air, she giggles and her mood instantly lightens.

“How about you sleep with us tonight?
It’s only a few hours till morning anyway.” He says smiling at her. She gives him a big grin then looks at me as if asking for permission. I smile and she wiggles out of her daddy’s arms and runs to our bedroom. Caleb chuckles then grabs my hand and tugs me along to follow her.

After getting settled in bed
I wrap my arms around Willow and hold her tight as she sleeps soundly between Caleb and I. Caleb lies facing her, he looks down at his finger that she holds tightly in her grasp and he smiles.

He looks up to me and whispers
. “I love you guys so much.”

Chapter 3

Things with Caleb have been absolutely amazing. He’s exactly the type of father I expected he would be. Willow seems to be joined at his hip wherever he is. The love between the two of them is obvious and it makes my heart beat a little faster whenever I see them together… I also fall a little more in love with him every time I see him with
our little girl. Seeing the relationship between the two of them makes me wonder what my life would have been like if I had two parents that were together as Caleb and I now are.

Willow is such a happy child, always laughing and joking around, I can’t
ever remember being that happy as a child. I couldn’t understand why I didn’t have a mommy and daddy that lived in the same home, especially after seeing all the parents collecting the other kids from kindergarten. I suppose at five years old, details were irrelevant and when Daddy explained to me that I was special and had two mommies’ it didn’t have the effect he was hoping for. I couldn’t understand what he was saying and it only left me more confused.

The only time I truly felt I had a family
were the times I got to spend time with my father and Anna, but when my friendship with Caleb blossomed and I met his family I soon realized what I was missing out on. We got along from the get-go, two peas in a pod they’d say. As I grew older and got to spend more time with his family, I finally started to see the dynamics of keeping a family together… or so I thought. Everything
seemed
so perfect and I remember during that time I held so much animosity toward my father for not marrying my mother so that we could be a family.

I held him responsible for the way she was neglecting me
but as time went on I grew out of my angst-filled teen years. Caleb of course, was there for me the entire time and I already knew back then that we’d always be in each other’s lives no matter the circumstances.

Looking back, knowing now that Caleb’s father was cheating on Holly I
realize that is doesn’t matter what society’s idea of a family is, just because your parents don’t live in the same household doesn’t mean you don’t have a family. I found a family in Caleb’s house as well as with my father and Anna.

I’m
pleased my father stuck with Anna, his love for her could never be replaced. I didn’t know that then but I know that now, I feel the same love for Caleb and no one can take that away. I wouldn’t have wanted my father to settle with my mother and be unhappy just to keep a family together.

Now that I’m older,
I can imagine my father and mother living together and it’s not a pretty sight. Even though certain aspects were hard to understand at such a young age I’m thankful that they happened the way they did.

I want my daughter to be happy and I want
the three of us to be one big happy family but if Caleb should ever hurt me and break the trust I’ve built for him I won’t waste one more second pinning for him. I want my daughter to grow up in a happy, positive and loving environment and if that doesn’t involve her father and I being together then so be it.

I refused to go back to work at the bar, I wasn’t ready to run into Jace anytime soon. Anna was spending most of the time at the bar and she was looking into getting someone to run the tattoo parlour for her, she’s even considering selling it if the right person comes along and luckily enough Connor stopped by when he did. She was cool with my decision to stop working with her too. Holly also moved closer to us, she thought it was time to retire and enjoy the money she received as settlement from the divorce from her husband. She also wanted to be closer to her granddaughter and sons.

Even though I had saved a little to last me a few months till I found another job
, Caleb refused to let me look into anything because he wanted me working with him. He decided that he needed a change and since his mother had retired and left the business to him it was his choice to sell if he wanted. It was always what his father wanted and so it was decided that Caleb like Connor should follow in his parent’s footsteps. Now at twenty three years old Caleb decided that architecture wasn’t for him and he sold the business.

In one of the main streets
of town he found an old warehouse that was for sale, the building was surrounded by restaurants and small businesses and was the perfect spot for the gym that he planned on renovating it into.

Brent was still in
limbo, not really knowing what he wanted to do with his life yet, so when Caleb offered him a job Brent was quick to take it.

The Caleb I grew up with is definitely not the man I’m living with today. He seems almost harder, rougher and not as outgoing as he used to be. He seems to be quieter and keeps a lot of things to himself these days and to be honest, it’s really starting to stress me out. I want to know everything that happened when we were apart, I want to know what’s caused him to change so much. Every time we get a chance to speak alone, I bring up the subject but something always comes up and stops the conversation short.

It’s been
a week since the day we reunited and apart from the heated make out sessions, he hasn’t taken it further. Believe me when I say I’ve tried egging him on… he just isn’t taking the bait.

My body hasn’t been touched that way since
Caleb and it yearns for him. I’m starting to overthink things and I’m even starting to feel self-conscious about my body even though he continuously tells me how sexy I am. I just don’t feel it.

He told me
he hasn’t had sex with anyone while we weren’t together but he did mention doing other
stuff
. My mind goes into overdrive thinking about him doing
other stuff
and with how many he did this
other stuff
with.

Maybe he’ s put off by the way my body’s changed over the years, I still have a few stretch marks and even though I’ve lost a lot of weight
, I still have flabby areas. My body isn’t as fit and tight as it used to be when we were younger and maybe he notices this.

Caleb
on the other hand is looking better than ever. The tattoos that cover his one arm are delish and the muscles in places where they weren’t before make me drool. He’s bigger, manlier and hands down yummy which doesn’t help my insecurities when he turns me down every damn time I jump him.

I look at my naked body over in the mirror of the bathroom. With an eye roll and a big sigh I decide to get dressed. Tonight I’m going out with Caleb, Brent and Jesse. My parents took Willow to the Lake house and told me I needed to get out and have fun. They also assured me that most of the boys of Daddy’s club were out of town so I wouldn’t run into any of them at the bar. Caleb and I reluctantly allowed them to take her for the evening.

I place my hair in a neat
high bun making sure to make my makeup dark and smokey. I’m adamant on dressing up for Caleb tonight. Hopefully it turns out better than the last time I did this for him. I have a pair of skinny jeans on that are ripped by the knees. I’ve paired it with a black loose silky vest and I chose a pair of wedged combat boots to finish my rocking outfit off.

After one last glance in the mirror
I head downstairs to find Caleb and Brent.

“Whoa
…” Brent’s eyes widen when he sees me, I have to turn my face away to hide my blush. I lean against the door and cross my arms waiting for Caleb to notice me and finally he does. His eyes widen as he looks from my toes all the way up, I give him a small smile when his eyes find mine.

“A minute
” He says not looking at Brent, his eyes holding my own; Brent chuckles and walks into the house.

The minute we’re alone he says, “Come here.”

It’s dark where he sits on one of the lounging chairs on the patio looking at the ocean. It’s rather quiet too, apart from the waves crashing and the sound of the TV on inside, nothing else can be heard. I walk up to him and rest my hand in the one reaching out for me. He tugs me onto his lap facing him. I rest my hands on the back of his chair as I look down to him. He runs his big hands up my thighs and when it lands on my ass he squeezes a little.

My smile widens
.

So does his.

He looks at my lips and I
can’t help but push my body against his when I feel him straining against his jeans beneath me.

“So lucky…
” He whispers as he moves to nuzzle my neck. I run my hands through his damp hair and he groans squeezing my ass. I realize I haven’t said one word the entire time and I don’t get a chance to because his lips attack mine and he’s not gentle about it either.

I
kind of like it. No scratch that.

I really like it.

“You’re so beautiful Harley, I’m so lucky to have you baby…” he says before his lips are back on mine.

Our
tongues collide, closing my eyes I breathe in his minty scent and when I start moving my body against him I feel the rumble in his mouth as he moans. When things start to feel really good he stops me by squeezing my ass cheek holding me firmly against him. He pulls his lips from mine and nuzzles my neck again, this time wrapping his arms tightly around my waist.

If I could stamp my foot right now I probably would.

I’m wound up and need release but he keeps stopping us before we can even get to the good stuff. I don’t think he realizes how much his rejection is hurting me.

“Let’s get going.” He says excitedly, as if he’s not dealing with the horny after effects that I’m currently trying to handle.

He picks me up and places me feet first on the
ground. I let out a deep breath and place one of my hands in his as he leads me back into the house.

Brent decides to drive us to the bar since
Caleb got him started on some juicing program at the gym; he’s not allowed alcohol in his diet. The car ride is full of jokes and laughs and I try to swallow down my discomfort from what happened with Caleb moments before.

CALEB POV

Jesus, Harley is going to drive me insane. I want to rip those clothes off of her so bad right now. I swear I’m going to be walking around with a hard on the entire night
watching her ass in those tight pants. I don’t mind it though, my girl is fucking gorgeous and she seems happy flaunting herself to me in her tight outfit. If I have to battle a hard on all evening just to watch her feeling sexy about herself, I’ll do it.

I know she’s feeling self-conscious about her body
with me. She locks the door when she showers and she doesn’t get naked in front of me either. I already want to jump her and I suppose having to look at her naked body all day would only add to my unease. I just don’t want to fuck up our first time together, well our first time since we’ve been back together. Fuck… I know Harley still sees me as that charming as ever High School jock but I’m not that person anymore and I’m afraid that once we start, my lust and restraint I’ve held onto for over four years will come rushing in and it’ll be over before it even begins. I want to take my time devouring her body; I want to feel every inch of her. I’m trying so hard to be the person she remembers me being all those years ago. It’s so fucking hard and I’m afraid that when it comes down to telling her about the conversations her father and I have been having on the sly, telling her about all those horrible things that happened during those lonely four years that she might run for the hills and take my baby girl with her.

I
joke and chat with Brent on the way to the club, anything to get my mind off how much I want to be inside Harley’s body right now. Fuck I’m even considering taking her in the back of Brent’s car. Don’t think he’ll appreciate that though. Fuck… I’m hard just thinking about it. Brent chuckles to himself when he sees me adjusting myself.

Harley asks me to dance with her but I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself any longer if I have her rubbing her little body against mine. I know she’s disappointed by the look she gives me but I won’t risk it. We’re in her father’s bar anyway and I’m pretty sure he won’t take kindly to me fucking his daughter in one of the backrooms…besides Harley doesn’t deserve that. The first time our bodies reunite I’ll make sure we’re in a bed and I’ll make sure she’s comfortable.

Suddenly hearing
Avery’s voice does the trick though. I am no longer horny or hard. I don’t know what the fuck the girl is doing here but I really need her to stay away from Harley.

HARLEY POV

I wave to
Jesse when I see him standing next to Owen, the bouncer-cross-security guy Daddy hired to make sure no trouble happens at the club whenever he isn’t there to watch over it.

We say our hello
’s to Owen before he escorts us inside to one of the booth areas. Anna finally convinced my father to hire a couple of students from the nearby college to work at the bar temporarily whenever they were out of town. Jesse is now head barman and tonight is the first time we actually get to enjoy the bar without working behind it. Jesse still keeps a close eye on the staff though.

Brent heads over
to the bar to get all of us drinks and something non-alcoholic for himself.

The crowd is young and noisy tonight and people have even started dancing
near the little stage where a DJ is playing some track that has heavy base, I haven’t been keeping up with what’s new so I have no idea whose singing but it’s loud and the beat just makes you want to move your body.