A Bright Particular Star (31 page)

Sophie
dropped
her butter knife
onto the
plate with a clatter.
“
B
etrothed!
”
She gaped at him.
“T
o whom?
There have been no announcements in the
Morning Post
.
”

“
Not yet
,
because the lady concerned is still in mourning
for her aunt.
That is why we have remained in London rather than going to coast
—
the time has almost come when she can put off her black gloves and then she will travel to London and the
announcement will appear
.
She is Lady Penelope Crighton, the Earl of Mountford
’s
daughter
.
The family hails from Yorkshire
so you wil
l not know
her.
”

“D
o you love her
?
”
she asked eventually,
breaking the awkward silence that had followed
.

“T
hat
is
an impertinent question.
”

“
Perhaps
, but
we were
good
friends once
, James
,
and in such circumstances, a truthful answ
er is not too much to ask.
Still,
if that is all the reply
you are prepared to give
me
, I don
’t
think you
can
l
ove her
.
I
t
must be
a mar
riage of convenience
.
”

For once, h
is mouth curved
in a genuine smile.
“
You have not changed in spea
king your mind, have you
?
”
he observed.
“
What an atrocious
little
baggage you are
, Sophie
!
You
’
re wrong
.
I
do
l
ove Penelope.
She encompasses all
I admire in a woman
—
attractive, graceful
, refined,
from an
excellent family and with
elegant manners,
good connections
and a fine regard for the proprieties
.
In short, everything
—
”

“T
hat
I am not
?
”
she concluded
, a
reluctant but
mischievous dimple appearing.

His amusement
swiftly
faded.
“
Must you keep putting words
into my mouth?
I w
as going to say everything
I could wish for in a wife.
”

“
It amounts to the s
ame thing.
”
Seeing his
gathering
scowl
, she added
,
“
O
h, don
’t
fly
into a p
ucker
again
, Ja
mes!
If you love your Penelope
then I wish you joy
.
”

He raised an
eyebrow
.
“
Y
ou are
not broken-hearted
then
?
”

She was not.

T
he realisation
she did not
care two pins for James
ha
d been growing on Sophie
and t
his conversation
confirm
ed
wha
t she already suspected
.
N
ews of his betrothal had
taken her by surprise
, but she was not
upset
by it
.
It did, however, make sorting out her future a matter of urgency.
James had altered and so had
she
.
Their
previous
attachment had not grown
into love.
The hero-like
James of her memory
and
in whom she had invested
all
her affection
and hopes
had materialised into a man
she had no desire to marry.

He
was undoubtedly
handsome
.
I
n tha
t respect
,
the promise of the youth
had been more than fulfilled but
his romantic appearance was not matched by character.
And
,
while other facets of the boy she had known still surfaced occasionally, he had also become shallow, pompous and more than a little
conceited
.
S
he
had been
so
fixated
with reaching London and seeing him again
that
she had not stopped to examine
what was in her heart
.
N
ow she
had
and
found
the man
she was head
over heels in love with
was
not James
at all
.

It was
Theo
.

She loved Theo
.

It
was a relief to admit it at last
.
The difference
in the way she felt
was stark
.
It
bore no comparison to her
sterile,
idealised
hero-worship of James.
Her love for Theo
was real, sensual and shockingly intense.
It was the love of a woman for a
man
—
a real man, not an icon of
her imagination.
Sophie
was aware of Theo
’s
flaws, but
she loved him more for those.
Her feelings owed nothing to gratitude, or the thrill of escaping from Ludstone, or even the disappointment of finding James had feet of clay
.
T
he
truth was
she had fallen in love with Theo because of all that he was.

And for the first time in her life, she
realize
d real love was not always comfortable.
It was exquisite in its extremes.
She had
appreciated Lady Verney
’s
kindness, tried to turn a blind eye to James
‘s
patronising manner and
had
done
her best to enjoy London, but a
dull ache of unhappiness
had
lurked
behind
her smile.
It
was never forgotten and in
quiet
moments
it flared into anguish.

She could not ban
ish Theo from her
mind and
constantly wondered
what he was doing.
He had told her he travelled to France to sample and select wine so he
may
even have gone abroad, something she found hard to
contemplate
.
She ha
d liked him
from
the first
and that
a
ttrac
tion
had
deepene
d du
ring t
heir time together, only coming
into perfect
focus
when
he had gone away
.

She
missed
him terribly
.
She
missed their conversations as well as
the irrepressible
twinkle in
his gaze
,
the teasing note
in
his voice and his smile, which
from the outset
she
had
privately
thought
irresistible.
She adored
his appreciation of the absurd and
how
his anger dissipated as quickly as it flared into life
,
his long, easy stride
,
the
endearing
way he pushed his fingers through his hair
,
she loved his thoughtfulness and generosity,
the
resolve
beneath his jaunty exterior
,
and that he always
put her safety and well-being before his own
.
Most of all, she
loved how
he made
her heart turn
over in her chest with a
glance
.

But he
did not love her
and the recollection
she might
never see him again plunged he
r once more
into
a feeling of
hopelessness
.

Re
alising
James was waiting for her
answer
,
s
he
dredge
d
up the ghost of a smile.
“
No,
”
she confessed,
“
but
your betrothal means I must
make
plans
at once
for setting up my own establishment.
Nothing too grand, of course.
I was thinking of a property in a less expensive part of town or even in the suburbs
, such as Kensington
.
”

“
You
’
ll do nothing of the sort
,
”
he declared
,
with a horrified
expression.
“
Why,
it
defies the
dictates of convention
!
Mama and I will decide what is best to be done with you.
What about Cavana
gh?
”

Sophie
’s
startled
gaze flew to his
.
“
Why do you mention him
?
”

“
Come, come, y
ou are not a complete innocent!
Did he offer
marriage
?
Strictly speaking, you were
compromised by being alone with him
.
T
he le
ast he could have done is offered
to wed you.
”

An angry flush stained her cheeks.
His words
had
tainted the hours she had spent with Theo with the stigma of impropriety.
“T
h
at is a detestable thing to s
ay!
He accompanied me out of honour and solicitude for my safety
.
I would never,
ever
, want him to feel obliged to offer for me
.
It would be th
e worst thing
imaginable and
I beg you will not speak of
it again.
M
ost likely
he will
forget all about me, or at least be glad he is rid of a tiresome travelling c
omp
anion
!
”
Sophie,
emotion
choking her throat
as
she voic
ed this reflection, added,
“
I
-I
must
do what I
orig
inally intend
ed.
It is not long
before
I
come into my inheritance
and then
I will
e
ngage Papa
’s
lawyer to find me a
property
.
”