A Bridge to Love (10 page)

“If
the shoe fits...”

“Why
didn't you warn me?” Kate collapsed in her chair. “I feel like I'm at some
weird costume party. Now it's midnight and everybody is ripping off their masks
and the faces underneath are scarier than the masks. You'll probably turn out
to be the twin sister who was separated from me at birth.”

“Wasn't
that in the last episode of
Days of Our
Lives
?”

“Great,
my life's become a soap opera. You know the worst part of all this? I don't
trust my own judgment anymore. I'm afraid to do anything, to decide anything
because I've been so completely wrong about my life.”

“Don't
let other people's betrayals change the way you think. It's not a bad thing to
assume the best about the people you love.”

Kate
choked on a laugh. “Even when I assume the worst about someone, I'm wrong.”

“What
do you mean?”

Kate
realized that she had gotten herself tangled up in the web of her own lies.
Kate explained the soccer game bet and glossed over the rest of the evening.

Georgia
whistled. “It looks like Johnson is in hot pursuit. I'm jealous but I have to
warn you about this one: you're playing with fire.”

Kate
sighed. She knew it all too well. “It's just an ego problem. I'm supposed to
fall at his feet instead of refusing his invitations.”

“Listen,
this is way too complicated to discuss on the telephone. The soonest I can get
over there is Wednesday night. We'll have a nice long talk. Do you think that
you can fend off your two lovers until then?”

Nine

The
boys were at school. The weekend's laundry was on the heavy-duty cycle in the
washing machine. Kate poured another cup of coffee, pulled on a light jacket
and walked out onto the porch with Gretchen at her heels. The cheerful sunlight
streaming through the brilliantly colored leaves that framed her porch made the
scene with Oliver the previous night seem like an insubstantial nightmare.

Kate
sipped her coffee and reached down to pat the dog. “So where do I stand now,
Gretchen? I don't have a job. I'm running out of money. My husband was
unfaithful. I'm keeping secrets from my best friend, and Oliver has turned into
Mr. Hyde. My attempt at a one-night stand was a disaster. All I need now is to
find out that Clay and Patrick are drug dealers.”

She
sank down on the porch floor, wrapped her arms around Gretchen's warm, furry
neck and sobbed into her shoulder. “I built my life so carefully. Why is it all
falling apart?” The dog sat patiently as Kate cried.

At
last, she ran out of tears. Gretchen nosed her face in mute concern, and she
took a deep breath.

“You're
right, Gretch. If my life has fallen to pieces, it's up to me to rebuild it.
Only this time, with myself as the foundation.”

She
pushed herself up from the wooden planks, dusted off her jeans and went back to
the kitchen to dump out her cold coffee. As she was rinsing the cup, the
telephone rang.

“Kate?
This is Susan Chen from Adler Associates Engineering. I used to work with Phil
Gabelli.”

“Of
course, Susan. What a pleasure to hear from you!”

Kate
had worked for Phil Gabelli herself for two years and had sent him her resume in
the hope that he might have a position for her. He had been unable to hire her,
but had promised to see if he could find someone else who might be able to.
Kate sent a silent prayer of thanks his way as Susan continued.

“Phil
forwarded your resume to me with a strong recommendation. Right now, we need a
creative solution for a particular project, and we need it quickly.”

“Oh?”
Kate made her interest clear.

Susan
laughed. “It's a bridge on a heavily used commuter highway in Connecticut. The
bridge isn't such a problem, but the design has to include a viable rerouting
of traffic while it's under construction. Someone has to go up and scout the
location, then come back with suggestions. It's a demanding project, but the
firm would like to get in with the Connecticut highway people; they've got a
lot more work coming up.”

“It
sounds like a full-time position,” Kate said.

“If
we get the job, it is. More than full-time.”

Kate
hesitated. A full-time job. Maybe she should consult Clay and Patrick first? It
would be a big change for them. But this sounded so wonderful...

“Susan,
I'm very intrigued. Could I come in and talk with you about it?”

“How
about tomorrow at lunchtime? That's the only time I'm free, believe it or not.”

“I'll
be there.”

Kate
hung up and blew out a breath. To build a bridge! Her all-time hero was Othmar
Ammann, the designer of the George Washington Bridge. She danced a little jig
around the kitchen table. Then she stopped dead. What did she know about
traffic flow? How out-of-date were her design skills? And there was the
prospect of leaving Clay and Patrick alone for the hours after school. How
would she cook them dinner and supervise their homework?

“What
am I thinking? I can't do this...”

Gretchen's
tail thumped on the floor.

“You
have confidence in me?” Kate asked her.

Gretchen's
tail thumped harder.

“You're
right. We'll cross each bridge as we come to it – or in this case – we'll build
each bridge as we come to it.”

Kate
waited until the boys tossed down their backpacks and rummaged through the
refrigerator for snacks. Then she said, “I've had a job offer.”

“That's
terrific, Mom!” Patrick said around a mouthful of bagel and cream cheese. “What
are you going to build?”

“Hopefully,
a bridge.”

Clay
chimed in. “That's perfect! You've always wanted to build a bridge.”

Kate
was warmed by their enthusiasm. “It sounds very interesting, but there's a big
problem with this job. It's full-time and then some, if I get it.”

Clay
and Patrick were quiet for a minute. Then Patrick said hopefully, “So we'll be having
more pizza for dinner?”

“Probably,”
Kate said.

“Cool!”

“You'll
get tired of it,” Kate warned. Patrick looked unconvinced but left it at that.
Kate took a deep breath. She had debated how frank she should be with her
children. But she realized that they were growing up. They should be able to
participate in the decision fully informed.

“Here's
the bottom line. I've worked out some numbers, and if I work full-time, and we
don't have Brigid come in the afternoon, we can continue to live here about the
same way we do now. If I can find a part-time job, we might or might not be
able to stay here, but we would definitely have to spend less money on
everything. And if I don't find any job, we will have to move to a smaller
house, possibly just to rent. And we'll have to make some serious choices about
spending money.”

Kate
paused a moment to let them absorb what she had said. “I don't know what the
right answer is. We all need to think about it. However, I have to point out
that part-time engineering jobs seem to be few and far between, so that option
may not be a real one.”

Clay
said with complete conviction, “I think that you should go for the full-time
job, Mom. You can trust me to be responsible for myself and Patrick in the
afternoon.”

The
boys looked at each other for a long moment and then Patrick gave a slight nod.
Clay continued, “We want to stay here and we want you to build a bridge.”

“I
know that I can trust both of you.” Kate surreptitiously touched the wooden
cabinet twice with her knuckles. “I just want to be sure that you two are happy
and comfortable.”

“I
promise to start my homework as soon as I get back from dog-walking,” Patrick
said.

“And
learn to write down phone messages,” Clay added.

Patrick
socked Clay in the arm. In his new role of mature elder brother, Clay rolled
his eyes but refrained from retaliating.

“You
guys are the greatest,” Kate said, walking between them to give them both a
quick squeeze around the shoulders. “I'm meeting with Susan Chen tomorrow to
talk about the job. That gives you another twenty-four hours to think about
this. It's not too late to change your minds.”

“We're
too old for Brigid to watch us anymore, anyway,” Clay said, then added firmly,
“Mom, we can handle it.”

“I'm
sure you can. I'm just not sure that
I
can,” Kate said.

The
next afternoon she came home with a map and a job offer, both of which she
contemplated with numerous misgivings.

Susan
was willing to hire her on the strength of Phil Gabelli's verbal
recommendation, even though Kate hadn't worked with him in over fourteen years.
Kate wasn't sure Susan trusted Phil
that
much. Her instincts during the interview told her that the job was such a long
shot that Adler Associates didn't really expect to win the contract.

Clay
and Patrick burst in the door. “Did you get the job?” they asked almost
simultaneously.

“Yes,
if the firm gets the contract,” Kate said.

“Way
to go, Mom!”

“Yahoo!”

They
both gave her high fives and then Clay surprised her by hugging her. “Don't
worry about us. You concentrate on the bridge.”

Kate
hugged him back. “Thanks, buddy. Tomorrow I go up to inspect the site. So
tonight while you're doing your homework, I'll be doing mine.”

Kate
stood by the highway inhaling exhaust fumes and shielding her eyes from dirt
thrown by cars whizzing past her. She had already driven every possible
alternate route and eliminated each one. Her shoulders sagging, she walked down
the hill to the old bridge to look at the site from a different angle.

Now
she really understood why this project was not popular. The bridge was in a
valley cut by the river. Houses lined the riverbank right up to the
right-of-way. Three lanes of traffic streamed steadily across the bridge in
each direction. There was no room to build the new bridge beside the old one.
There was no viable detour. Because of its location, using prefabricated
components was going to be hard because there was no place to store them. They
would have to be trucked in as they were needed. So much for speedy
construction.

Stymied,
she suddenly recalled the words of her first engineering professor: “Ladies and
gentlemen, we are doing engineering, not oil painting.
Think in three dimensions
!”

Kate
looked at the bridge again, and saw the new bridge over it. It would be longer
and therefore more expensive, but traffic could continue to use the old bridge
until the last possible moment! She could also justify the expense by pointing
out that flooding would not be a problem if the new bridge were higher!

She
felt a rush of exhilaration.

Flipping
to a clean page on her drafting pad, she began to sketch the site and her
ideas. She scrambled up and down the riverbank, noting where the new pylons
would go, listing survey points, and estimating distances. She bit her lip in
frustration when she checked her watch: she needed to get home to take Clay and
Patrick to a chess tournament. As she trudged back to her car, she realized
that this was just the beginning of the tug-of-war between home and work.

And
it was only going to get worse.

Bringing
an unconventional design in on your first day at the office was risky, and Kate
packed her briefcase the next morning with some trepidation. Of course, Susan
Chen was looking for an unusual solution, but still…

Kate
had to stop a moment to compose herself before walking into Susan's office.

When
she finished, Susan was silent for a long moment.

“I
wish I had thought of this,” she finally said. “We were spinning our wheels
looking for detours or space to put up temporary reroutes, and the space was
there all along, right
over
our
eyes.” Susan gathered up the copies of Kate's drawings and stood up. “Phil told
me you would deliver.”

Kate
sighed in relief and felt a small glow of pride. “I have a lot more work to do,
obviously, but I'm glad that you like the concept.”

“I'm
going to run it by Bruce Adler right now, but I'm sure that he'll green light
it. In the meantime, make yourself comfortable here. If you want to take a look
at our design program, feel free to use my computer.”

Within
a half an hour, Susan was back. “Bruce says to go forward with the drawings and
specs. He'll meet with us in two days to review the plans. Let me show you your
new desk!”

She
led Kate to a cubicle that held a computer, a calculator, a drafting table,
flat files for blueprints and drawers filled with angles, scales and T squares.
Kate hung up her coat, made a mental note to bring in some family photos and
was soon immersed in the nuts and bolts of designing a Connecticut state
highway bridge. Time flew by and she had to race out of the office to catch her
train.

Kate
had grabbed take-out Chinese food on her way home from the station in honor of
Georgia's visit. Clay and Patrick were delighted but Georgia made a face. “This
is what I always eat,” she complained. “I forgot that you're a working woman
now, so I won't get any more home-cooked meals here.”

“Are
you trying to make me feel guiltier than I already do?”

Georgia
sighed dramatically. “No, I just miss that scrumptious French onion soup and
your fabulous beef stroganoff.”

“I
haven't made beef stroganoff in years. No one liked it.”

“Well,
there is the Chocolate Orgasm Cake.”

Kate
laughed. “You wouldn't eat that because it was too fattening.”

“So,
how's the job going?” Georgia asked, as they all dug into fried dumplings and
moo shu chicken.

“Great!”
Kate said and described her design and her cubicle for everyone's benefit.

“And
how are you guys doing without Mom?” Georgia asked Clay and Patrick.

“No
problem at all,” Clay said breezily.

“We
can handle it,” Patrick affirmed. “We're already paying for our own lunches by
walking dogs. It's fun except for Mrs. Handley's German shepherd. He doesn't
like to be on a leash.”

“Maybe
you should find a different dog to walk,” Georgia suggested.

“No,
Mrs. Handley pays the most,” Patrick said. “Because she knows that he's a pain.”

“We
don't need money so much that you two have to walk a difficult dog,” Kate said,
between bites.

“Mom,
it's cool,” Clay said with a glare at Patrick.