A Beautiful Mess (26 page)

Mo’s band soon finished up their first set and took a thirty-minute break before having to start their second set. At that point, the second floor of MacFadden’s was overcrowded with people.

The girl’s conversation had gone cold after Olivia stormed off. She returned soon thereafter but was no longer in a mood to talk about anything.
 

“Hey, Livvy. You ready?” Mo asked, grabbing a beer from the bartender and checking his watch.

“Yeah. Let’s do this.” Olivia surveyed the audience hoping that, just maybe, Alexander would be there. Then she wondered why she even cared at all.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Tyler, hey,” Alexander said as he walked up to the bar on the first floor of MacFadden’s. The name of the bar sounded so familiar for some reason when Tyler had asked him earlier in the day to meet him there that evening. He shrugged it off, realizing that, after a while, the names of most bars in Boston seemed to run together.

“Hey, man. How’s it going?” Tyler asked, giving his brother a hug and grabbing his beer off the bar. The downstairs area had cleared out once the band had started to perform.

“Okay, I guess,” he replied.

“Listen, the band they have is wicked good, so let’s head upstairs and check them out. I’ve seen them a bunch over the summer.”

“Good. Anything to get my mind off Olivia,” Alexander said.

The brothers made their way upstairs after grabbing another round. When he got to the second floor, Alexander couldn’t believe his eyes or ears. He remembered why the name of the bar sounded so familiar. Olivia had mentioned it the previous week at Open Mic.

“Did you know about this?” Alexander shouted at his brother.

“What are you talking about?” Tyler shouted back, hoping his brother could hear him over the cheering and loud music.

“You really don’t know?”

“No! What is it?”

“That is Olivia,” Alexander said, gesturing toward the stage where a tall, dark haired girl belted out a Queen song.

“Are you shitting me?” Tyler exclaimed just as the audience erupted in cheers.

Alexander began to move through the crowd wanting to get close to the stage. And to Olivia. “I knew she sang in a band, but I had no idea she would be here tonight,” Alexander explained to his brother before returning his attention to the beautiful woman on stage that had been occupying his thoughts all week.

“Thanks everyone,” Olivia said into the microphone, her voice sad. “I’m going to do one last song and it’s a new one. My therapist always says that music helps me express myself, so I kind of feel like I need to do this one tonight. Even though I know the person it’s aimed at isn’t here, I need to sing this, if just for myself. So thank you.” Cheers and whistles sounded through the large room.

Tyler looked at his brother. “Do you think she’s talking about you, jackass?”

“Shut it, Tyler.” Alexander looked back to the stage and at Olivia.

“This is a Pink song. It’s called
Misery
.”

She stepped back and the band kicked in a slow, soulful melody. After the brief instrumental introduction, Olivia sauntered back to the microphone, closing her eyes and beginning the sad song. It was heartbreaking for Alexander to watch her, knowing that he was the reason she felt the need to sing that song. He could see the pain in her face as she sang about being all alone and missing something she almost had.

Her voice was strong and impassioned as she belted out the chorus with Mo singing backup. She thought about Alexander, as she usually did those days, and how she felt like a complete fool. The one time she actually let her heart get close to someone and she was met with excruciating pain.

Alexander watched Olivia interact with the guy he saw her sing with just the week before at Open Mic. They were good together. The crowd seemed to love them, too. Everyone swayed to the slow beat, cheering as Olivia belted out the melody. The hurt he caused her was clear and evident, not just with the song choice, but the expression on her face. He needed to explain himself. He wanted to give her space, but it had been almost a week. It was time to talk to her.

The crowd cheered and whistled as the band dropped out and Olivia sang the last line practically unaccompanied. Her voice rang through the bar before the entire place erupted in deafening applause.
God, she’s good
, Alexander thought to himself as she bowed and left the stage to allow the band to continue their set. He watched Olivia practically run through the crowd.

Alexander tried to follow her through the mass of people but couldn’t catch up. He saw her dash down the stairs, Kiera not far behind. It was more than obvious that she was upset and crying. And it was all his fault. He turned to face his brother, his mouth open, unsure of what to say.

Tyler saw the look on his brother’s face and knew he needed to go smooth things over. “It’s okay, man. Do what you have to do. I’ll call you this weekend.”

“Okay, Ty. Thanks.” Alexander hurried after his Olivia.

~~~~~~~~~~

Olivia and Kiera made a beeline toward the downstairs restroom. Once safely behind the locked door of the one-person bathroom, Kiera faced Olivia, wrapping her arms around her, knowing she needed to have a bit of a crying session.

As Olivia’s tears fell, Kiera soothing her cries, there was a loud knock on the bathroom door.

“Fucker,” Kiera said, her voice low. “We just got in here for crying out loud.”

“Go away!” Olivia shouted.

“Olivia!” Alexander shouted through the door.

“Fuck,” she said to Kiera.

“Who is it?” Kiera asked, taking a sip of her drink.

“It’s Alexander,” Olivia whispered, motioning for her friend to come closer to the door. “What do I do?”

“Do you want to see him?”

“Hell no!” Olivia shouted before realizing how loud her voice was. She instantly covered her mouth, hoping Alexander hadn’t heard.

“Olivia! Open up! I know you’re in there. I just want to talk to you. To explain things. I’m not leaving until you give me a chance to explain.”

“Alexander,” Olivia said through the door, a quiver in her voice. “You gave me all the answers I needed last weekend. It was clear from your inability to answer one simple question who you chose. And you chose wrong, so you have nothing to explain.” Olivia sank to the ground, sitting on the cold tile of the bathroom floor.

“Olivia, please. Just come out and talk to me.”

“No. Anything you need to say to me, you can say through this door. If I see you, I know I’ll cave.”

Kiera sat on the ground across from her friend as they continued to drink.

Olivia heard a chuckle on the other side of the door. “Then please, open the door. I want you to cave. But not for the wrong reasons. For all the right reasons. Because you know we’re meant to be together, Olivia. You know it deep down in your heart. Last week was the best week of my life because of you.” Alexander sat down in the hallway as Olivia continued to berate him.

“If it was the best week of your life, why did you go running to Plastic Surgery Barbie?”

Alexander laughed again and Olivia could just see the smile in his eyes. “That’s a good one. I’ll have to remember that.”

“That’s not an answer, Alexander.” Olivia took a long slug of her drink, wanting to numb the growing ache in her heart.

“I told you last weekend. Adele is an old family friend. I am not interested in being with someone as self-absorbed as she is. I’m interested in being with a kind, loving, caring individual. Someone who doesn’t care how large my bank account is. Someone who devotes her time to improving the lives of others around her, human and otherwise. Someone who makes my heart swell whenever I think about her. Who puts a smile on my face just knowing that she’s out in the world. Who drives me all sorts of crazy when she looks at me with her beautiful brown eyes. I’ve been waiting my entire life to find you, Olivia. Please. Don’t shut me out.”

Olivia blushed and remained silent, unsure of how to respond. Kiera raised her eyebrows.

“What do I say to that?” Olivia whispered.

“Say what you think you should,” Kiera whispered back.

“Is Kiera in there with you?” Alexander asked through the door.

The two girls giggled. “Yeah. She’s here. Making sure I don’t do something incredibly stupid like forgive you.”

Kiera slapped Olivia.

“Hi, Kiera,” Alexander said.

“Hi, Alexander. And don’t worry. I’m actually hoping you can convince Olivia to forgive you so that I can go back to my own miserable existence and not have to be on Olivia-watch, fearful that she’ll flee the city again.”

Olivia slapped Kiera, nearly spilling her drink. “Shut up, bitch.”

“What do you mean flee the city? Has she done that before?” Alexander asked even though he knew the answer.

“Yeah. Once before,” Kiera explained. “But it’s not my story to tell.”

Olivia mouthed the words “thank you” to Kiera.

Alexander lowered his voice. “Olivia, Love. Please come out and talk to me.”

She stared at Kiera, looking for advice on what to do. Kiera stood up, walked over to her friend, and grabbed her hands, pulling her up. “You need to at least start the conversation, Libs. You can’t run all your life.”

Olivia straightened herself up and handed Kiera her empty beer bottle before opening the door. Alexander scurried to his feet when he heard the door click open. He stared at Olivia. She looked beautiful as always, but there was a hint of sadness in her face. He would never forgive himself for causing that look.

Kiera walked out of the bathroom behind Olivia. “I’ll leave you two to sort this out and, so help me God, you better buck the fuck up, Alex,” she said before walking away.

Seeing Alexander up close made Olivia’s heart ache all over again. Not wanting to listen to his empty lies, she stormed down the hall and out the front door of the bar. She continued walking down the sidewalk until Alexander caught up to her, the street bustling with people heading out to one of the many bars that dotted the area.

“Olivia, Love,” he called out. Olivia turned around to face him, realizing Kiera was right. She couldn’t run all her life.

Alexander moved toward her, the street lamp casting a glow on him, making his eyes shimmer.

“Please, stop. If you touch me, I don’t think my heart could take it, so just say what you want to say,” she pled with him, her eyes brimming with tears.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior last weekend,” he said softly. “I know it all looks so suspicious, but there really is an explanation for everything.”

“Why did you go to Connecticut? What was there?” Olivia asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I grew up there, Olivia. My family’s home is in Mystic and I go back once a year on the same day.”

“What for?” Olivia was not going to back down. She wanted all the answers.

“It’s hard to explain,” Alexander answered.

“Well, try, Alex,” she hissed. “Try real hard.”

Alexander reeled. She had never called him Alex before, except when they were kids. But she wouldn’t know that.

He took a deep breath. “When I was nine years old, my best friend growing up passed away. I went to visit her grave, as I do every year on August twenty-fourth.”

“August twenty-fourth? That’s the same day…”

“I know. That your parents died.”

Olivia’s heart sank. She immediately felt guilty for how she had treated him. But that still didn’t clear up everything.

“Then why didn’t you call me or anything?”

“I don’t know, Love. I really don’t. It was weird. I was at my friend’s grave telling her all about my life and all I could talk about was you. And I know this may not make sense, but I just needed to focus on the weekend. On my friend. And I felt guilty, I guess, if I didn’t devote the weekend to her memory.”

Olivia took a step forward, placing her hand on his shoulder briefly, a look of compassion on her face. “I truly am sorry, Alexander. I know how difficult it is to lose someone you’re close to. And it’s wonderful that you still return home to honor her memory. It takes a strong person to do that. I know. I’ve never been able to pull myself together enough to visit my parents’ graves. I don’t even know where they’re buried, to be honest. My uncle did, but he passed away.” Olivia gazed off into the distance, a pensive look on her face.

“Hey,” Alexander said, interrupting Olivia’s thoughts. Her face snapped back to meet his eyes. “It’s okay. We all mourn in our own ways. And this is my way. The Adele thing just kind of came out of nowhere. I thought maybe going to the event at the country club would help me take my mind off things, seeing old friends and what not. Then my brother and sister showed up, knowing I would be home that weekend. We ended up going to the casino Saturday night. And then when I saw you and I saw that guy with his hands all over you…” he trailed off, his face becoming red with anger, recalling how he felt when he saw another man with his hands on her body. “I lost it. I absolutely lost it, Olivia. The thought of anyone else touching you drove me crazy.” Alexander lifted his hand and cupped Olivia’s cheek, thankful when she didn’t brush him away.

“Then why did you just let Adele drag you away? Didn’t you see how hurt I was?” she asked quietly.

“I did. I’m so sorry. And if I could get a do-over I would take it in a heartbeat to spare you of that pain. The last thing I ever want to do is to hurt you, Olivia.” He ran his thumb across the old scar on her forehead.

“Well, you did hurt me, Alexander,” she said with a lump in her throat, her chin quivering. “More than I thought you could.” A tear fell down her cheek.

Alexander exhaled loudly, dropping his hand. “I know, and I’m so sorry.”

“You seem to be saying that a lot tonight.”

“Well, I guess I have a lot to be sorry for. But I mean it. And I should have told you sooner, but…” Alexander hesitated. Should he tell her the truth or just some version of it?

“What is it, Alexander? I can handle it, whatever it is.”

“Well, I don’t know how to say this, and I don’t want you to run or anything…” He paused, unsure of what to say.

Olivia looked at him, anxiously waiting for what words were about to come out of his mouth.