A Beat in Time (8 page)

I closed the door and locked it as Wyatt left. I practically crawled up the stairs to my room and flung myself on the bed. The wind rustled my curtains and I closed my eyes.

Next time, I wouldn’t drink.

I avoided Jensen like the plague for the next three days. I had my guitar lesson with Wyatt. Turned out I was okay with guitars, drums not so much. Maybe it was the drum teacher? I eyed Wyatt’s profile as he talked about my lesson plan. The guy really was cute.

“Serena?”

“Yes?”

“I can’t go there with you.”

“W-What?” I stammered.

“Look, don’t get me wrong, you’re hot, but you are also Jensen’s ex.”

“Yes,
ex
.”

Wyatt shook his head with a smile.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s a bro-code.”

“Oh God. Not the bro-code.”

“Yep. No sleeping with each other’s ex anything.” Wyatt turned on the stool and faced me. “No matter what the situation is right now, he still cares about you.”

“Yeah, right,” I groused.

“He does. Look, you have to see what Noelle is really like. Then you’ll get it.”

I pondered that and pulled my phone out of my purse.

“What are you doing?” Wyatt cocked a brow.

“Calling Jensen, of course. Let’s have dinner, shall we?” I grinned.

~*~

Jensen reluctantly agreed to dinner. I was sure it had a lot to do with Noelle in the background telling him what a wonderful idea it was.

Wonderful!

I pulled up to the restaurant at seven and Wyatt pulled in right behind me. I checked my reflection in the rear view mirror and applied some gloss. Couldn’t hurt to look good, right?  I stepped out and Wyatt walked up to me with a grin.

“So? You ready for this?” he asked.

“I’m not sure what I’m getting ready
for
.” I tilted my head to the side. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“You’ll see.”

We got a table in the back and I perused the menu. Wyatt ordered a beer and reclined in the booth with a grin. I set the menu down and eyed him suspiciously. Before I had a chance to ask anything, a throat cleared and I looked up to see Jensen and Noelle.

“Hey.” Jensen slid into the booth and Noelle followed.

“So, what’s good here?” I asked.

“Oh—” Jensen began.

“The steak and shrimp are excellent,” Noelle cut in.

I glanced at Jensen and smiled. “What do you recommend?”

Jensen blinked and picked up his menu. “Steak and shrimp.”

I shot a look at Wyatt, who merely shrugged. We all ordered and I made sure I got a water. I wasn’t going to drink again and say something stupid. Actually, I didn’t really need alcohol for that. When I was nervous, I said the stupidest shit.

“So, Noelle, what is it you do?” I asked.

“Well, nothing as creative as you.”

Wyatt snickered and I kicked him under the table.

“I work for my daddy’s company.” Noelle sipped her wine.

“What does your daddy do?” I asked, intrigued.

“He’s into all sorts of things. Oil, gas, real estate. I’m trying to talk Jensen into going to work for him.”

“Is that right?” I cocked a brow. “I think Jensen is doing okay in the job he has now. More than okay, really.”

“Yes, that’s true,” Noelle nodded. “But it’s time for him to grow up and take on a serious job. He’s getting too old to play in a band.”

I inhaled some of the water I had just been drinking and Wyatt slapped my back. I wiped my mouth with a napkin and stared at Noelle.

“He’s thirty-three,” I drawled.

“Exactly my point. He needs to settle down and take on a real job,” Noelle pointed out.

“Settle down?” I laughed. “Have you heard of Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler? They’re still making music.”

“Jensen needs to take life seriously now. He’s had his partying days. They need to be put behind him. Plus, he spends months at a time on the road,” Noelle replied icily.

“Oh, so this has nothing to do with you at all?” I asked.

“Serena…” Jensen warned.

“What?” I shot a glare at Jensen. “This has to do with your fiancé being lonely and wanting you with her.”

“Is there something wrong with that?” Noelle snapped.

“There is if you started dating him knowing what he did for a living,” I shot back.

“Of course I knew! I also knew it wouldn’t last long.” Noelle crossed her arms, staring me down.

“No, you hoped it wouldn’t last long. Isn’t that right, Noelle? Seems to me, you’ve controlled his life from the moment you began seeing each other. Too old to keep touring? Please,” I snorted.

“You know nothing about our relationship; in fact, you don’t know
this
Jensen Pratt at all,” Noelle pointed out.

Poor Jensen sat there like he was watching a tennis match. Head snapping from me to Noelle. I wanted to feel sorry for him, I really did, but I just couldn’t. He was a grown man and should be able to take care of his own shit.

“Is that what you want, Jensen?’ I asked, gently.

“We’re leaving.” Noelle stood. “Neither one of us has to answer your questions.”

“Jensen …” I stood up as well.

“Sorry,” Jensen mumbled, following Noelle out.

I collapsed back down in the booth and stared at Wyatt.

“Holy shit,” I whispered.

“See?”

“Beer please!” I called out to the waiter. I glanced at Wyatt. “How long has this been going on?”

“Since they met. Jensen’s been thinking about leaving the band for months now.”

“But he loves playing! I remember how he looked when he was behind his drum set.”

“He’s been really good for the past six months. I haven’t seen Noelle in all that time and he wouldn’t talk about what happened. Hell, I didn’t even know he was engaged.”

The waiter brought my beer and I downed half of it. I set my pint glass back down and shook my head. Jesus. Jensen wasn’t even Jensen just then. I knew I hadn’t been keeping up with his life, but still, this was weird.

“You know he went to rehab, right?” Wyatt asked.

“Yes, he told me.”

“Did he tell you he went more than once?”

“No.” I turned in the seat to face Wyatt. “When?”

“He went in at almost seventeen—”

“That was right about the time we broke up.”

“But he went again few years later.”

“Jesus.” I groaned and held my head.

“You’re going to have to ask yourself if you’re ready to take
this
Jensen, warts and all.”

I locked eyes with Wyatt. “I would take him no matter what. I never stopped loving him, Wyatt. I never will.”

“Well then, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

~*~

I didn’t hear from Jensen except in text messages to let me know he was cancelling our drum lessons for the week. I texted him back, but he didn’t answer me. The sky had opened up and thunder rocked my house. I loved rainstorms, I loved them even more in Arizona. My curtain fluttered from the open sliding glass door in my room as I settled in to watch TV. Nothing was on and I’d read everything on my damn kindle. I stared at the bottom drawer of the nightstand and let out a breath.

Might as well play, maybe I would feel better.

I threw in some gay porn and put new batteries in my toy. I pulled up an image of Jensen, pants down, cock hanging out with me on my knees worshiping it. I loved blowing him, he was so damn responsive. My phone shrilled and my hand jerked. I stared at the caller I.D. and frowned. Damn Ann, did she know when I was masturbating? It wasn’t the first time she’d called while I was…um, busy. The guy on screen was giving his best orgasm look and wail as I picked up the phone.

“Ann,” I said, trying to sound calm.

“Dumpling! Is that porn I hear?”

I hit mute.

“Nope.”

“Liar. Tell me, is it two men or two women or a man and a woman?”

“What do you want?”

“I’m calling to check in. Didn’t you miss me?”

I could almost see that pout she always gave me. I flopped back on the pillows with an exaggerated sigh.

“Sure I did. Things aren’t going so well here.”

“Tell me all about it, Love.”

So I did. It felt good to release all that anger and frustration. Ann did her normal “uh huh’s” and “oh I see’s” while I told her of the fucked up week I’d had.

“Well, sounds like you need to take a cattle prod to his ass.”

“And where would I find a cattle prod?” I asked.

“I’m sure there’s a farm store out there somewhere, but I’m not saying that literally. You need to verbally cattle prod him.”

“Say what?”

“Look, darling, this is the deal. Do you love this guy?”

“Yes. Dammit, I still do.”

“Okay then. He doesn’t know that though, right?”

“Nope.”

“You have to shock the shit out of him. Lay it all out on the line and let the chips fall where they may.”

“What if they fall in Noelle’s lap?”

“Well then, I hate to say this, but maybe he’s just not that into you anymore.”

“You didn’t see him, Ann. When we were together he
was happy
. The fucker was smiling and laughing! Then when we were intimate—”

“Wait, what? You didn’t say anything about being
intimate
!”

“Fingers in my pussy, intimate.”

“Damn, I need to fan myself. You mean he didn’t need a crowbar to get in there?”

“Very funny.”

“Did he fuck you?”

“No. I didn’t let it get that far.”

“For fuck’s sake, why not? I want pictures and video, dammit!”

“Ann,” I sighed loudly.

“Oh sweet cakes, you really do love him, don’t you?”

“Didn’t I just say that?”

“Yes, but I say that all the time and don’t mean it. Men are so stupid sometimes.”

“You want to know what’s really killing me right now? All I can think about is her with him. I know they are together right now and I’m thinking, does he feel the same way with her that he does with me?”

“Aw hun, once he slides into that tight pussy of yours, you’ll have him.”

“I don’t want him to want me for sex, Ann,” I said in exasperation.

“I know. I’m trying to lighten your mood. I’m sorry this is hurting you. Why don’t you try to find someone for casual sex? Maybe that will take your mind off of it.”

“I don’t know…” I chewed on the end of my nail.

“Stop biting your nails.”

“Jesus, do you have supersonic hearing or what?”

“Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I installed a camera in your house.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” I laughed.

“I’d be bored with the bedroom footage,” Ann deadpanned.

“Ann, what am I going to do?” I whispered.

“We’ll figure it out, snookums.”

I hung out with Aarin, Mikey, and Doug over the next week. I didn’t hear a peep out of Jensen. I was really starting to worry about him. The crowd at Maloney’s was loud and boisterous this evening. Most of the tables were crowded with college kids as I sat with the guys, sipping my Guinness and munching on fries. I didn’t tell the guys about my run in with Jensen’s fiancé, Noelle. I really didn’t want to rehash it, or think about it, at all. My phone pinged and I looked down at the screen. I had a text from Jensen. My heart raced as I read it.

Where are you
?

Maloney’s

Can I meet you there?

You can do whatever you want. I’m here with a few guys.

Replaced me already?

You have a fiancé, remember?

Not anymore
.

I squashed the elation rising in my chest and texted back.

What do you mean?

Can I just meet you?

I guess. Like I said though, I’m not alone
.

Can you be?

I’m not going to leave the guys just because you text me. Just meet me here.

Are you pissed off at me still?

No, Jensen. I’m not pissed.

Okay, but I’m afraid if I meet you, I might get pregnant.

I snicker and texted back.

Don’t be silly, I always use protection
.

“Who ya texting?”

I looked up to see all three guys smiling at me.

“Um, Jensen,” I replied.

“Oh?” Aarin cocked a brow.

“I guess he’s joining us, if that’s okay?” I said, slowly.

“Drinks with Jensen Pratt?” Aarin laughed. “Hell yes, it’s okay.”

I texted Jensen back, then placed my phone on the table. I didn’t know if he would actually show up. I hoped he would. I wanted to talk to him about what he said.

Jensen walked in fifteen minutes later and the whole place started clapping. I smiled as Jensen shook hands with all the people around him and signed autographs. He looked so damn happy just then. He spotted us and waved, and I scooted over in the booth to make room for him. As soon as Jensen sat down beside me, he reached for my hand, threaded our fingers together, and then met eyes with me.

“Um, should we like, scatter?” Aarin grinned at us.

“Hell no,” Jensen said, shaking their hands. “How have you guys been?”

“Still playing,” Mikey answered.

“Good to hear.”

I stayed quiet as Jensen and the guys talked about music and touring. Mentally, I was taking notes on everything. Anything that could help me write this heterosexual book was worth it. We stayed until one, and then Aarin and the guys took off, leaving me alone with Jensen. I wasn’t sure what to say or how to act. Jensen took my hand as we hit the street.

“Where did you park?”

“Over on your avenue.” I smiled.

“Ah, the J Pratt Ave. Yes, I know it well.”

“Was that put there for you?”

“Nah. It’s still awesome though.” Jensen began walking, pulling me along.

“Are we going to talk about what happened?”

“I’d rather not. It’s over, let’s just let it be.”

“Jensen …” I stopped walking and eyed him skeptically.

“Look, Noelle proposed a few months ago and I said I had to think about it. Then she left without a word, so I figured it was over. All of a sudden, bam, she’s back and expects me to act like she never left.”

“That doesn’t explain why you can’t even think for yourself when she’s around, Jensen. That part actually worries me.” I took his hands and searched his eyes. “I know all about your other rehab stints. Don’t you think you might have just a tad of an addictive personality? Maybe you are so used to being with her, it feels comfortable?”

“I feel comfortable with you. When we’re together, it’s like we were never apart, Serena. I like how I feel with you. I’m happy and carefree for once.”

“Not all relationships are happy and carefree, Jensen. There will be times when you get on the other person’s nerves.”

“Not us.” Jensen shook his head. “We were never like that.”

“I know, but we’re older now. Things change.”

“The minute you walked back into my life, it was like you never left it, Serena. I want us to start over.”

“What are you saying?”

“I want to date you.”

“As I recall, our dating consisted of you cooking me something and then sex.” I arched a brow at him.

“Sounds good to me.” Jensen waggled his brows.

“No sex—” Jensen groaned and I placed my fingers over his lips. “At least, not yet. Sex was never a problem for us.”

“No, it really wasn’t. We were always good at that.” Jensen pulled me into his arms and I looked up at him.

“Slow, Jensen.”

Jensen leaned into me and his lips were inches from mine.

“Baby steps?” he breathed across my lips.

“Tiny baby steps.”

“Okay.” Jensen pulled away abruptly and I mentally slapped myself. “That doesn’t mean we can’t kiss,” I balked.

“Nope.” Jensen shook his head. “There will be no lip locking.”

“Dammit,” I cursed. Jensen laughed and I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I better go before you strangle me.” Jensen kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I watched him get in his car and he waved as he pulled out onto the road. I knew I was smiling, how could I not be? I had Jensen back.

~*~

We spent the next three days inseparable from one another. It was like we’d never been apart. We went to the movies, shopping for groceries, and to furniture stores. Jensen made me dinner on the third night, at his place. I loved it. The house was a two story with a wraparound deck and a lake behind it. Jensen manned the grill as I took a walk around the property. The house was beautiful, with white shutters against navy blue siding.

“Hey you,” Jensen called from the back deck.

I smiled and walked back to him. He had an apron on with chicken drumsticks on it. I laughed and kissed his cheek.

“You look cute. I wasn’t expecting the chicken drumsticks though.”

“Well, they don’t make one with real drumsticks.”

“I can have one made,” I winked.

“Maybe for Christmas. Can you grab the corn for me?”

I helped him carry the food back inside and we settled in front of the TV. Turns out, we watched a lot of the same shows. We ate and watched TV in comfortable silence. Jensen handed me a beer and we clinked bottles.

“To us.”

“Together again?” I leaned against him.

“I hope for a long time, Serena. I meant what I said, I want to start over with you.”

“Well, we already know so much about each other.”

“I know where you’re ticklish.”

“Don’t. Even.” I pointed my corn at him. “I know what sets you off.”

“Back rubs, foot rubs, and I love when you drag your nails down my back softly.”

“As I recall, you loved it when I did it hard, too.”

“That was when you were screaming and shuddering underneath me.”

“We need to change the subject,” I fidgeted.

Jensen turned to me and caressed my cheek. My eyes closed instinctively and warm lips touched mine. A hand threaded into my hair as the kiss became more intense. I was slowly lowered to my back on the floor as Jensen kissed me languidly, taking his time savoring my mouth. I ran a hand up his back and pulled him further on top of me. Spreading my legs out, Jensen fell in between them perfectly, rutting up against me. I yanked his shirt off and ran my palms up his smooth skin.

“Jensen,” I breathed.

“I feel fifteen again.” Jensen chuckled softly.

“This feels bigger than fifteen.” I squeezed his hardened dick.

“These are bigger than seventeen.” Jensen caressed one of my tits through my shirt.

“It’s because it’s padded.”

  Jensen laughed and pressed his forehead to mine. We stayed like that, Jensen on top of me, both of us trying to calm down.

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

“Yes, I do.” I cupped his face with my hands. “I would love nothing more than for you to take me to bed and make love to me, but I’m afraid, Jensen.”

“Why?”

“Because sex to me is more than just fucking. I can do the whole casual thing—cut myself off from what I’m feeling, but I can’t do that with you. There’s too much emotion involved.”

“How about we just go to bed and not have sex?”

“Is that even possible?”

“We can do other stuff.”

“I like the other stuff.” I smiled, wiggling my brows.

“So do I.”

I helped Jensen clean up the kitchen and then he took my hand, leading me upstairs to his room. I stripped down to my bra and panties and watched as Jensen removed his jeans. A smattering of hair traveled from between his pectorals and wound its way down to his belly button, disappearing below the waist band of his boxers. I wanted to lick that trail so badly. Jensen tilted his head as I slowly walked over to him.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Other things.”

I dropped to my knees, looking up at him. I pulled his boxers down and his dick sprang free. I gripped it and pumped him a few times before taking him into my mouth.

“Oh shiiit. You were always good at that.”

I swallowed around him and took him as far back as I could. Jensen fisted my hair as I bobbed up and down on his cock, taking him to the root before sliding back off and running my tongue through his slit. Jensen’s legs trembled as I continued to suck him down, teasing around his shaft with my tongue. Jensen began thrusting into my mouth and I palmed one of his balls, rolling it in my fingers.

“Jesus…Serena…I’m gunna fucking lose it!”

I smiled and kept at him. Fuck it. A blast of come shot down my throat and I swallowed, coaxing more out. I licked him from shaft to tip before moving away from him and getting on the bed. I spread my legs out and motioned to him with my finger.

“Come here.”

A growl rumbled from Jensen’s throat and the next thing I knew, my panties were torn off and Jensen was between my legs. I let out a yelp as he attacked my clit, sucking it in while thrusting a finger inside me. I grasped for anything I could and squeezed my eyes shut as Jensen went to town on me. My legs shook as he added another finger, stretching me out while he continued to suck on my clit, making me arch my back and rip the sheets off the bed. There was so much going on between my legs, I couldn’t see straight. My stomach knotted and my toes curled as I cried out in pleasure, coming all over Jensen’s face. I fell back on the pillows, breathing hard as Jensen climbed up my body. He hovered above me with a grin.

“Some things never change. You were always loud.” He rubbed his nose against mine.

“You were always so good at that,” I purred.

  Jensen captured my lips in a slow, lazy kiss and I wrapped my arms around him. I could have stayed right there forever, with Jensen by my side. We broke from the kiss and Jensen rolled off me, pulling me into him. I wrapped an arm around him and threw a leg over his thigh. I trailed my fingers up and down his back just how he liked it. Jensen’s fingers threaded into my hair and I sighed in content. It was quiet and I closed my eyes.

“Serena?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think you could see yourself living here? I mean, with me?”

I peered up at him. “Yes, Jensen. I can. I can work from anywhere, you know that.”

“But your family—”

“Will understand,” I finished for him. “They just want me to be happy.” I leaned up on my elbow and smiled at him. “Are you going to have an issue telling people what I do for a living?”

“Well, I won’t be as…descriptive as you are when explaining it.”   Jensen cracked up.

“I really am sorry about that,” I apologized, closing my eyes. “I just…”

“You were jealous.”

“Fuck yes, I was! You’re mine, Jensen Pratt.”

“I have been since I was fifteen, Serena.”

I snuggled into him and smiled when Jensen kissed my forehead. This was where I belonged.

~*~

I woke up once again not knowing where I was. It took me a few seconds to process my surroundings. I was in Jensen’s bed. Alone. I sat up and tilted my head to the side. I could hear Jensen faintly singing downstairs. I grinned, grabbing my jeans and shirt and slipping them on as I went down the stairs. Jensen had his back to me at the stove. I inhaled the distinctive scents of sautéed onions, garlic, and mushrooms.

“What are you doing?” I asked, leaning against the wall in the kitchen.

  Jensen turned, spatula in hand. A smiled pulled at his lips and he motioned to the stove.