A Baby for the Boss (10 page)

But for now... “Thanks,” she said, meaning it completely. “I appreciate that a lot, really.” She looked from one to the other of them. “But I’m fine for now. I have my work and my own space.”

Betty and Hank exchanged a knowing look, then her uncle turned to her. “Okay, but...” He paused and with an embarrassed shrug added, “You should remember that you’ve got a home here. People ready to help.”

Jenny’s eyes filled with tears but she blinked them back because she knew if she cried, Uncle Hank would panic. Instead, she squeezed his hand and whispered, “Thank you, Uncle Hank.”

He squeezed back briefly. “No need to thank family.”

Betty gave a loud sniffle, then snapped, “All right, now, that’s enough of that. Soup’s getting cold and, Jenny, you need to eat. That baby doesn’t need a skinny mama.”

Smiling to herself, Jenny did as she was told.

* * *

Mike spent the next few days at home. He couldn’t go to the office because there, he’d have to deal with Jenny and he needed some damn time to come to grips with what had happened.

A baby.

Because of faulty condoms, he was going to be a father and he couldn’t quite wrap his head around that one simple fact. Mike had never considered having children. To his mind, being a father meant being married and he’d never do that. Never give another person the ability to cut him off at the knees. To bring misery and—

Hell.

He left the silence of the house and stalked across the stone patio that led down a wide sweep of lawn toward the cliff. Beyond those cliffs was the Pacific and as he stared out at the ocean, glittering brightly beneath the morning sun, he squinted to see the handful of sailboats skimming the water. Closer to shore, there were a few surfers waiting for a decent wave.

The sound of the ocean reached him and the steady pulse of water against rocks seemed to steady him. He’d bought this house mainly for the view. It was too damn big for a man alone and he knew it, but until today, the quiet and the...emptiness really hadn’t bothered him much.

Now, though, he looked at the pristine backyard and pictured a swing set there. He turned and stared at the shining windows and imagined Jenny in one of them, smiling down at him as she held their child in her arms.

Shaking his head, he rubbed his eyes and told himself he was just tired. Not surprising since he hadn’t gotten much sleep over the past few days. How could he when memories of Jenny kept intruding? He saw her as she was the night he’d come to her after a miserable dinner at his parents’ house. In her flannel pajama bottoms and slinky tank top. Saw her eyes as she leaned into his kiss. Heard her sighs as he entered her.

“How the hell is a man supposed to sleep when his own mind is working against him?” he demanded of no one.

“It’s a bad sign when you talk to yourself.”

Mike spun around to see Sean strolling out of the house and down the patio toward him. “When did you get back?”

“Last night,” Sean said, shaking his head. “It was a hell of a storm. Kept us locked down for way too long.” He tipped his head back, stared up at the blue, sunny sky and sighed. “It’s good to be back in the sun. Man, I thought I’d never get warm again.”

Mike gave him a halfhearted smile. It shamed him to realize he hadn’t given Sean a thought in days. His own brother trapped in a snowstorm and he hadn’t wondered once how he was doing. But now, it was good to steer his brain in a different direction. “You didn’t kill the contractor, did you?”

Sean shot him a look, frowned and said, “No. Didn’t kill her.”

Mike frowned, too. “Something going on there?”

“Not a damn thing,” Sean told him, then changed the subject abruptly. “I don’t want to talk about Kate Wells, all right? Went by the office this morning. Glad to see everyone got the final changes in on ‘The Wild Hunt.’”

Huffing out a breath, Mike realized he hadn’t paid attention to that, either. One of their biggest games getting ready to roll onto the assembly line and he hadn’t bothered to dot the i’s and cross the t’s.

“Jenny’s Wise Woman character turned out spectacularly. Dave showed me the final sketches. That woman is talented.”

“Yeah.” Mike turned his face into the wind. Jenny was talented. And beautiful. And exasperating. And
pregnant.

Sean was still talking. “Linda told me you haven’t been in to the office in days. You sick or something?”

“Or something,” Mike said. “You want some coffee?”

“Got a cappuccino on the way over.” Sean grinned. “It was worth waiting for. But you’re stalling. What’s going on, Mike?”

He shoved his hands into the back pockets of his faded jeans and rocked on his heels. He hadn’t told anyone about Jenny. About the baby. If Brady had been here, instead of in Ireland, Mike might have spilled the whole thing. But now, Sean was here and he found he needed to say it all out loud.

“It’s Jenny,” he said, looking at his brother. “She’s pregnant.”

A second or two ticked past as Sean simply stared at him, a befuddled expression on his face. Then a slow smile curved his mouth and he said, “I
knew
there was something going on between you two. And there’s a baby? That’s great, right?” He rushed across the patio and gave his brother a brief, hard hug. “I like Jenny a lot,” he said, stepping back and grinning. “And everybody’s noticed the red-hot chemistry between you two.”

Mike went still. He’d been sure that what was between Jenny and him was a secret. Private. “Everybody noticed? You mean people at work know about—”

“Well, they don’t
know
, but sure, there’s been some talk.” Sean shrugged. “Mostly the women. They really notice the stuff that sails right over most guys’ heads.”

“Great. That’s great.” Just what he wanted. All of his employees knowing about his private life, speculating, maybe even making bets on what would happen next.

“What’s the problem?” Sean asked. “It’s not like it would have stayed a secret for long. Not with Jenny pregnant. And here’s another question. If she’s pregnant, why is she out working on the hotel in Laughlin and you’re not with her?”

“She’s in Laughlin?”

“Yeah. Linda says she went out yesterday. She didn’t want to take the jet, so she drove, hauling all of her paint supplies with her.” He paused. “And you didn’t know anything about this, did you?”

“No.” Mike wasn’t happy about it, either. She could have told him she was driving out alone to Laughlin. He thought about that long, lonely road through the desert. Hell, there were sections where you could go for
miles
with nothing but sand on either side of your car. “She didn’t tell me.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

Mike snapped his brother a hard look. “None of your business.”

“What’d you do, Mike?”

“I didn’t
do
anything,” he argued, feeling defensive even though he knew there was no reason for it.

“Yeah? The woman you’re crazy about is pregnant with your kid and you look like you want to punch somebody.” Sean tipped his head to one side and said, “Why don’t you spill what’s really going on?”

“She did this on purpose,” he muttered.

“Wow. She
forced
you to have sex with her?” Sean snorted. “You poor guy.”

“Shut up, Sean.”

“Do you get how ridiculous you sound? Get over yourself, Mike. She didn’t trick you. Or trap you. Hell, you’re not that great a prize.”

“Thanks. So glad you’re home.” Mike scrubbed one hand across the back of his neck and remembered that Jenny had said the same damn thing to him not so long ago. But you’d think his own brother would be a little more supportive.

“Come on, Mike. Condoms leak. Nothing’s perfect.” Sean slapped Mike’s shoulder. “So you gonna marry her or what?”

“No, I’m not marrying her.”

“Why the hell not?” Sean threw both hands high, clearly exasperated. “She’s gonna have your baby and you’re obviously nuts about her.”

“I need more coffee.” Mike walked away from his brother to the glass-topped table at the edge of the patio. There, he poured a cup of coffee from the thermal hot pot his housekeeper had brought out. He took a sip and let the heat slide through him.

“What’s going on?” Sean followed him. “I can’t believe you won’t marry her. This is your kid we’re talking about, Mike. Marrying her is the right thing to do and you know it.”

His head was pounding, brain racing. Sean’s haranguing wasn’t helping with the headache throbbing behind his eyes. He hadn’t slept, hadn’t been able to think clearly in days, and now he’d found out Jenny was in Laughlin—without bothering to tell him.

“What do you think Mom and Dad’ll have to say when they find out?”

“They should understand better than anyone.” Mike’s gaze shot to his brother’s and before he could stop himself, he was blurting out the secret he’d held since he was thirteen. “I’m not marrying anybody, you understand? I won’t risk being lied to, cheated on. You think I want to take a chance on ruining my own kid’s life?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Too late to pull it back now, Mike told his brother about the day his own image of the perfect family had been shattered. “When I was thirteen, I came home from baseball practice and found Mom crying,” he said tightly. “I was worried, thought maybe Dad had been in an accident or something.”

“What was it?”

He could still remember it all so clearly. Sunshine pouring through the kitchen window. His mom sitting at the table, head in her hands, crying. He’d never seen her cry before and it scared him.

Mike set his coffee cup down, crossed his arms over his chest and said, “She grabbed me into a hard hug and she told me that Dad had cheated on her. That she found out he’d been out with some woman.”

“No way.” Sean’s eyes went hard and cool and flat.

Mike knew how he felt. Back then, it had seemed to Mike as though the floor had opened up beneath him. He’d worried about his mom, wondered if his dad would ever come home again. Would they get a divorce? Who would he live with? A thirteen-year-old kid shouldn’t have to think about any of it. Shouldn’t have to learn so suddenly that his parents were flawed. Human.

“She never would have let any of it slip if I hadn’t caught her in a vulnerable moment,” he said, and knew it for truth since his mom had apologized over and over again over the years. “Dad lied. To her. To us. He was a liar and a cheat and ever since that day, I can’t be around him without remembering our mother crying.”

Sean looked away toward the ocean and Mike finished. “I won’t get married, Sean. I won’t put my faith in someone only to be lied to and cheated on. Not gonna happen. I won’t risk my kid being destroyed by lies.”

After a moment or two, Sean turned his head to look at him and Mike read the fury in his brother’s eyes.

“You had no right,” Sean said tightly. “No right to keep this from me. I’m a Ryan, too.”

“Why the hell should you feel as crappy as me?” Mike argued. “You didn’t have to know and a lot of the time I wished to hell I didn’t know.”

“And you make the choice for me, is that it? You decide what I should know, what I should think?”

“That’s not it,” Mike said.

“Sure it is,” Sean snapped. “You don’t even see it, do you? You’ve been mad at Dad for years for lying. Every time you talk about Jenny, you call her a liar, say you can’t trust her. But you’ve been lying to me since we were kids.

“So what’s the difference, Mike? Are you the only one who gets to lie? Do you get to decide which is a good lie and which is bad?”

Mike had never thought about it exactly like that until now and he didn’t know what he could say to the accusation. His father’s lies had destroyed Mike’s image of a happy family. Mike’s own lies of omission were to protect Sean from the same hurt Mike felt.

And yet today, Sean was slapped with not one, but two sets of lies.

“You ought to take a good look at yourself, big brother,” Sean said quietly. “Whatever was between our parents back then? They fixed it. Healed it. In case you hadn’t noticed, they’re still together, stronger than ever.”

Truth could hit as hard as lies.

“So don’t kid yourself. This isn’t about Dad. Or Jenny. This is all on you, Mike. You’re the liar now.” Sean turned and walked away, stalking across the patio and into the house.

Alone in the yard, Mike felt the ground he’d built his life on tremble beneath his feet. Sean was right, he realized. Which meant that Mike was wrong. About a lot of things.

Nine

L
aughlin in February was pretty.

The summer heat was still a few months off and the river was quiet but for the inevitable tour boats and an occasional Jet Ski. There were a lot of snowbirds in town, older people coming in to escape snow country with a few months in the desert. Tourists were always there of course, and every day, pontoon boats full of visitors to the city slowed to watch the progress being made on the River Haunt.

True to his word, the contractor, Jacob Schmitt, was keeping to schedule. He had men working on both the hotel facade and the interior, where Jenny spent most of her time. There was the constant drone of saws and the slamming of hammers, not to mention shouted conversations and laughter ringing out all around her.

But she was still glad she’d come. Being in the desert, away from the office for a while, had been a great idea. In Nevada, she didn’t have to deal with the worry of having to face Mike again so soon after their confrontation. It hurt, knowing that their connection was over. But it would be even more painful if she had to see him every day. To be reminded of what they might have had.

No, what she needed was a little space, a little time, to get used to the idea that she was going to be a single mother.

She’d always wanted to have kids—lots of them. But in her secret dreams, she also had a husband who loved her. That little dream wasn’t going to come true, though. Remembering the look on Mike’s face when she told him she was pregnant was enough to convince her of that. Even if she didn’t also have the memory of him accusing her of trying to trap him into marriage.

Pain and anger twisted into a knot that sat like lead in the pit of her stomach.

“He really is an idiot,” she muttered, swiping a paintbrush loaded with deep violet paint across the entryway wall. Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with someone—
anyone
—else? Why did Mike Ryan have to be the only man for her?

Jenny sighed and finished covering the wall with the paint she’d chosen for the biggest impact. Once it was dry she’d lay out the lines for the forest, the moon and the hints of figures she wanted lost in the trees. It would take a few days, but that was okay with her.

She had driven out here with a plan to stay for at least a week. Heaven knew there were plenty of hotel rooms to choose from and she wouldn’t be lonely, either. Not with the security people and the hotel employees staying here, as well.

Besides, being on-site, she could oversee the other artists she’d hired to help with the murals. There were three of them, all talented, but artists were temperamental people and just as likely to go off plan and add their own visions to a design. But that couldn’t happen here. The designs had all been approved by Mike, Sean and Brady already, so there was no deviating from them.

“Hey, Jenny!”

She looked up at the friendly shout. Tim Ryerson, one of the hotel employees, stood at the front door. “What’s up, Tim?”

“Some of us are going into town for lunch. You up for it?”

They were all being so nice to her, but what Jenny really wanted was quiet and some time to herself. “Thanks, but I think I’ll stay here and get started on the dining room mural.”

“You’re allowed to have fun, too, you know,” he said with a sad shake of his head.

“Thanks, but for me, this
is
fun.”

“Okay, then.” He shrugged good-naturedly. “Can we bring you back anything?”

“A burger,” she said quickly. “And lots of fries.”

She was starting to get her appetite back—at least in the afternoons—and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. She was so short that if she kept eating like this, by the time the baby was born, she’d look like a soccer ball.

“You got it. Later.”

Once he and the others had gone, the hotel fell into blessed quiet. Lunchtime was the one time of the day she could count on a little peace. Even the crew’s ever-playing radio was silent as the men left to get something to eat. She had the place to herself for the next hour and Jenny relished it.

Leaving the main wall to dry, she walked into the dining room and studied the long partition that separated the room from the kitchen. She’d have Tony and Lena work this wall, setting out the characters and scenery from the “River Haunt” game that would bring the room to life. Christa could work on the vines that would trail around the windows at the front of the room. If they all worked together, they could knock this out in a few days and move upstairs to the hallways. According to the plans, there would be vines, flowers and a banshee or two in each of the long halls, and haunting trees, bent in an invisible wind, painted on to the elevator doors.

She looked around the dining room and saw it as it would be when finished. As in the castle in Ireland, this dining hall would consist of long, banquet-style tables and benches, forcing guests to intermingle during meals. The gamers who came here would huddle together, talking scores and routes and walk-throughs of the game itself.

Guests who were unfamiliar with the game would soon be drawn into the fantasy world of Celtic Knot and the plush environment of the hotel. Once again, Jenny was impressed by the foresight of the Ryans and Brady Finn. By expanding their company into other realms, they were going to build the brand that was already becoming known around the world. To have a small part in this expansion was both exhilarating and sad. Because she knew without a doubt that this project would be one of her last for Celtic Knot.

In the quiet, her mind drifted to thoughts of Mike and she wondered what he was doing. If he even knew she was gone. And if he would care. If only he’d trusted her. Believed in her. Her heart ached when she remembered the expression on his face when he learned about the baby.

He’d come to her concerned that she wasn’t feeling well and then left her, convinced that she was trying to use him. How could it all turn so bad so quickly? Why couldn’t he see that she loved him? That if given the chance, the two of them and their child could have something wonderful? Was he so hard, so accustomed to shutting down his heart to keep possible pain at bay that he couldn’t risk it for a chance for happiness?

Her own pain blossomed in her chest until it squeezed her heart and she had to force herself to stop thinking of what-ifs and of Mike, because there was no help there. Nothing was going to change and it was best if she got used to that as soon as possible.

Patting her belly, Jenny whispered, “Don’t worry, baby. We’re going to be okay. You’ll see.” She got back to work, pushing thoughts of Mike and her up-in-the-air life to the back of her mind. Time enough to worry when she was lying awake all night.

* * *

Mike almost called Jenny. Twice. And each time, he hung up before the call could connect. He was still on edge after having Sean ream him, so it probably wasn’t the best time to talk to her anyway. But she was there. In his thoughts. In his soul.

She was off in the desert and hadn’t bothered to tell him. Because when she told him about the baby, he’d turned on her.

That shamed him, but now, with Sean’s temper still burning his ears, Mike admitted that it was past time to settle a few things that had been guiding him for years. He drove to his parents’ house, determined to finally talk to his mother about what had happened so long ago. To figure out if that one day, that one secret, was worth steering his entire life by.

The house looked the same as it always had. No matter how successful he and his brother had become, Jack and Peggy Ryan hadn’t allowed their sons to buy them a bigger place in a more upscale neighborhood. They preferred staying in the house where they’d raised their family, where they knew their neighbors and where every room held a memory. On this familiar street, houses were well cared for, yards were neat and nearly every driveway sported a basketball hoop.

Mike parked the car, then let himself in the front door, yelling to announce his presence. “Hey, Mom! It’s me!”

The house was quiet but for the low murmur of the television, set to a 1960s music channel. He walked through the living room, past the neat kitchen and into the den, and still didn’t find her. “Mom?”

“Mike, is that you?”

Relief shot through him as he turned to watch her approach. Her light brown hair was in a tangle and she was tugging at the hem of a pale pink shirt.

“You okay?” he asked, since she looked harried and a little nervous.

“Fine. You just caught me in the middle of something.” Then his mother
blushed
.

Mike suddenly had the feeling that he’d walked in on something he’d rather not think about. “Look, I’ll come back another time and—”

“Don’t be silly,” his mother said, already walking. “Come into the kitchen. There’s coffee and I made cookies this morning.”

If she was willing to pretend she hadn’t blushed, Mike could do it, too. “Sold.”

“Good, good,” she said, smiling now as she smoothed her hair. “Come and tell me why you stopped by. Is everything all right?”

“That’s a good question.”

“Sit down,” she ordered when they were in the bright, sunny yellow kitchen. She poured coffee, set it in front of him, then brought a plate of cookies to the table, as well. Holding a cup of coffee, she sat down opposite him and said simply, “Tell me.”

How many times over the years had he sat at this table with a plate of cookies in front of him and his mother listening to whatever problem he’d brought her? It was at this table where he’d found her crying. Where his life had taken that abrupt turn from innocence into suspicion. It was only fitting, he supposed, to be sitting at this table again while making the attempt to turn back.

So he told her about Jenny, about the baby, about Sean now knowing what happened all those years ago and how pissed his little brother was to find out he’d been lied to for years.

“What about Jenny?” his mother asked. “She’s pregnant with your child. Do you love her?”

Mike shook his head. Of course she would zero in on that part of the story. “Another good question.”

He pushed up from the table, walked to the counter, then turned around, bracing both hands on the granite countertop behind him. “But for right now, that doesn’t even matter.”

“Michael Patrick Ryan,” his mother said, drawing a reflexive wince from her son, “love is
all
that matters.”

“How can you say that, Mom, when—” He shook his head. “When you were cheated on. Lied to.”

“That’s it. I’ve had enough.” Peggy stood up, pointed at the kitchen table and ordered, “Sit down. I’ll be right back.”

He did as instructed mainly because he was too tired to keep standing. If he didn’t get some sleep soon, he’d go through life a zombie.

When his mother came back, she was dragging his father with her. Jack’s hair was messy and he was trying to button his shirt as he was pulled in his wife’s wake. And suddenly, Mike knew exactly what his parents had been doing when he dropped by. And yeah, he’d rather not think about that. Didn’t matter how old you got, nobody wanted to imagine their parents having sex.

Mike stiffened and he noticed that Jack Ryan did the same. His father was an older version of himself, with sharp blue eyes, and a sprinkling of gray at his temples. The two of them were still so uncomfortable with each other over something that had happened twenty years before. But damned if Mike knew how to get past it, get over it.

“Both of you sit down right now,” Peggy said and crossed her arms over her chest until her men complied. Then she looked from her husband to her son before saying softly, “Mike, I’ve tried to talk to you about this before, but you never wanted to listen. I could have
made
you hear me out, but your father wouldn’t allow that.” She spared Jack a glance and a smile. “He wanted you to come to us yourself when you were ready. Frankly, I thought it would never happen.”

“Mom...”

“I never should have burdened you with what I felt that day,” Peggy said. “But you came home early from practice and found me, crying, and somehow it all came out. And I hope you know that if I could wipe it from your mind, I would.”

“I know all that, Mom—” He shot a look at his father, who looked every bit as uncomfortable as he felt. “We don’t have to talk about it again.”

“That’s the problem,” Peggy said, pulling out a chair and taking a cookie that she began to crumble between her fingers. “We’ve never talked about it.” Her gaze softened as she looked at Mike. Then she took her husband’s hand and threaded her fingers through his. “Mike, you were just a little boy, so you don’t remember, but back then, your dad’s business was in trouble.”

Jack picked up the thread and Mike looked at his father as he spoke. “It’s not an excuse but we were under a lot of pressure and instead of talking to each other about it—” he paused and smiled sadly at his wife “—we each closed down, shut each other out.”

“We were wrong. We handled it all badly. But it takes two to make or break a marriage, Mike. So you were wrong to blame only your father all these years. We both made mistakes. We both nearly lost something most people never find.”

Mike heard them, saw how together they were on this, but he couldn’t let go. Turning to face his father, he said quietly, “You lied. You cheated.”

“I did lie,” Jack said. “I was hurt, worried about my family. Feeling like a damn failure and as if I were alone in the mess and missing your mother because we weren’t talking to each other anymore.”

“Oh, Jack...”

He squeezed her hand and then looked at Mike again. “I did lie, I give you that. And I cheated, too, I guess, but not the way you mean.”

“What?”

Jack sighed. “The woman your mother heard about—I did take her to dinner. We talked. She listened to me, laughed at my jokes, made me feel important.” He shook his head. “Stupid. It was stupid, but I didn’t sleep with her, Mike.” Jack’s gaze met his son’s squarely. “I never touched another woman from the day I married your mother.”

Peggy spoke up then. “Instead of being there for each other, your dad and I pulled apart until we were each so far from the other, it was as if we were two strangers living in this house together.”