93 Sampler (9 page)

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        The night ends with a hug from Ashton that lingers just a couple of seconds long enough to make me feel the intimacy behind the gesture, and he kisses the top of my head, a move that makes me smile.
        So cliché, yet despite that I can’t help but find the action cute.
        Jackson and I walk to his car. Since he rarely drinks out of the house, unless it’s New Year’s Eve, he drives us home.
        “Looks like you guys made up,” Jackson comments, offhandedly, as we start the drive back.
        I feel my cheeks warm up at the memory of some of the dance moves Ashton had been teaching me. I’ve never moved like that, but letting Ashton take that control had made me relax; I’d let loose and had fun. The extra drink I’d had while dancing had helped me even more.
        “Yeah, we did,” I say, simply, hoping I’m not as red as I think I am. If I am, Jackson doesn’t mention it. Or, at least, he thinks it’s the alcohol. I’m not drunk, but there’s a good buzz going for sure.
        “Good. I like him. Doesn’t hurt that his angel friend is hot,” Jackson winks, and I laugh.
        I realize how much I’ve laughed since I had that first date with Ashton, and a sense of rightness fills me.
        “I like him, too,” I admit. I don’t respond to his comment about Sofia; that’s his business, and I don’t want to probe.
        As we pull into his parking space, I pull out my phone to check it. I had muted it so I could avoid distractions while I spent time with Ashton, but the message I see, sent two hours ago, crashes my mood instantly.
        
Father: Your mother and I stopped by the location you said you would be at and were told there were no events tonight. I’m sure you are with that boy whom I believe your mother told you to stop talking to. We’re very disappointed that you would lie to us. You have a reservation at Marco’s tomorrow night, and I expect the staff to tell me you were there with Chad. Don’t let us
down
 again.
        “What’s wrong?” Jackson asks, and I show him the text, unsure how to react; my father has always believed that his only duty to his children is to provide the income, and that the mother’s job is to raise the child and teach them. Unless, of course, the family is in public, in which case the father must act as though he parents more than he does. In short, the fact that he text me means that he’s beyond pissed.
        The curse Jackson lets out makes me jump, but I don’t say anything.
        “What are you going to do?” He asks after a few minutes, and I know he’s barely calmed down. He’s always thought my parents were archaic, and this is just proving him right on so many levels.
        I sigh, but stay quiet. I can’t decline my mother, but I don’t want to give up Ashton; I’m not ready to say goodbye to the type of person he makes me want to be.
        “Carter,” Jackson prompts, and despite my feelings, I know how I’ll answer.
        I take a deep breath. “I guess I have a date tomorrow,” I say and, ignoring his protests, make my way inside the house.
        
I’ll be fine,
 I remind myself. I only had two dates with Ashton, so it’s not like I was going to fall in love with him at any point.
        
And maybe, if I tell myself that enough, I’ll believe it. Maybe I’ll be able to move on from the feelings he encourages…
        But I know, even as the thought forms, that he’ll always have to be the one who got away.
        Because we do what we must for the Redford name.
        Even when it feels wrong.

“It’s not a double date, Sofia,” I insist. “You’re just hanging out with some friends.”
        Sofia glares at me from her special spot on the couch. “It’s you, your girlfriend, me, and another guy. How is that not a double date?”
        I try to ignore the leap my heart makes when Sof refers to Carter as my girlfriend. “It’s only double if you make it double. You and Jackson are just friends, right?”
        “Yes and I would like to keep it that way,” she tells me.
        “Well he knows that. You know that. What’s the problem?”
        She sighs. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
        “Yes,” I answer truthfully. “Besides, you owe me one for making me go on a blind date.”
        Her eyebrows raise at me. “Ashton, I can’t believe you’re playing dirty. I’m disappointed in you, my son.” But I see the resolve on her face. “Where are we even going?”
        “
Pinheads
,” I reply.
        “Oh no,” Sofia groans. “Do you not remember what happened the last time we went to
Pinheads
?”
        I shudder at the memory. “This time will be different,” I respond.
        “Because you’ll have two extra people nearby to call 911?”
        I take a swig of my bottled water. “No, because I’m going to be extra careful so I don’t make a fool of myself in front of Carter.”
        “Aww,” Sofia draws out. “That’s so sweet.”
        “Shut up.”

▲

It turns out that the staff at Pinheads remembers me quite well. Which shouldn’t be a surprise since the last time I was here I exited via the paramedics.
        “Hey,” a pimply teenage boy asks me as Sofia and I get our bowling shoes, “aren’t you the guy from last year who-”
        “Yes,” I cut him off. I’d rather not relive that embarrassing incident.
        “You know, I’m the one who called 911 for you,” he says proudly.
        I look at Sofia. “You didn’t call them?”
        She shrugs. “I was busy checking your pulse and whatnot,” she explains.
        I shake my head at her as we take our shoes and walk back to the lane we got. “I can’t believe you were going to let me die in a bowling alley of all places.”
        Sofia cracks up laughing, which would offended me if anyone else had done it. Okay, maybe Carter could do it, too. And my parents.
        But if it had been anyone other than the four of them, I wouldn’t be smiling as much as I am now.
        “Hey guys,” I hear a deep voice say. My head turns and there’s Carter. Well, Jackson is the one who spoke but Carter is with him. Carter’s voice isn’t deep. It’s light and soft, like a cozy, rainy day in the forest. I can almost hear it now.
        
Wait. I can hear it now. She’s saying something.
        Quick, Ash, pretend like you heard her.
        
“Whoa, that’s really cool,” I respond to whatever she just said.
        Three pairs of eyes stare at me.
        “You weren’t listening to me, were you?” Carter asks, a sly grin spreading across her face.
        “I totally was,” I fib.
        Carter and Sofia exchange a glance and Jackson tries horribly at covering up his laugh.
        “Then I’m glad you’re so excited about the fact that you and Jackson are going to lose,” Carter responds.
        “Me and Jackson?” I ask. I look back and forth between the three of them. “But I thought I was going to be with Carter?”
        Carter shakes her head. “Where’s the fun in that?” I’m about to respond but she continues too quickly. “Besides, this gives me a chance to poke around Sofia’s head and learn all your dirty little secrets.”
        “I think your evil ways are rubbing off on her,” Sofia says.
        “I was evil to begin with,” Carter says to her.
Sofia giggles, and though it takes a couple of seconds, Carter joins in.
 Jackson and I make eye contact. This was going to be an interesting evening.

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An hour later, I’m still astounded. Is there nothing Carter isn’t good at? Jackson and I are losing, again, by an amount that I’m too ashamed to admit, and the girls will not stop gloating. I angrily take a sip of my soda.
        “You’re not helping our egos,” Jackson says to them after Carter bowls yet another strike.
        She sits down next to me, our knees touching underneath the table. Jackson stands to get a ball and looks as though he’s concentrating very hard. He takes a deep breath and lets the bowling ball go, only for it to then go straight into the gutter. Jackson turns around and hollers, as though he just scored.
        “Jackson, you do know the object of the game is to knock the pins down, right?” Carter sasses.
        He looks at Carter as he slides back into his seat next to Sofia, who is leaning in rather close to him for someone who insists she just wants to remain friends. I give her a sly look and she noticeably shifts an inch away from Jackson, which is actually the opposite of what I wanted.
        “Yes, Carter, I am aware,” Jackson answers, picking up his slice of pizza and taking a bite. “However,” he continues before taking a bite, “we must always celebrate the small victories in life.”
        Carter, Sofia, and I all exchange a look and burst out laughing. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jackson,” Sofia responds.
        He looks more intrigued by his pizza slice than anything that the rest of us are saying. I know the feeling.
Pinheads
 has the best pizza in town.
        “What do we say, one more game?” Carter asks.
        I grin over at her. “You just want to win again.”
        She cocks her head. “Ash, you can’t think like that. You could still win.”
        I scoff. “Yeah, if you end up limbless somehow.”
        “And even then it’s iffy,” Sofia says, dipping her pizza slice into a small container of ranch.
        “This is the confidence thirteen years of friendship gets me?”
        “It’s the
honesty
 thirteen years gets you,” Sofia corrects.
        “I think I’m going to pass,” I say to Carter. “I’ve had enough humiliation for one evening,” I add.
        Carter sighs heavily. “Okay,” she pouts. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Mostly because a childlike expression on Carter’s face is an odd clash against her typically serious demeanor.
        “So Carter,” Sofia begins, “Ashton here tells me you’re a business major.”
        Carter visibly stiffens, which Sofia does not see because she’s busy picking up another slice of pizza. “Right,” Carter answers smoothly, looking over at Jackson, who opens his mouth, I presume to change the subject, when Sofia speaks again.
        “Why’d you pick business?” She asks. “Not something I’d expect of someone in GDC.”
        Carter takes a sip of water to stall and I mentally slap myself for not ever bringing this up so I could’ve know the topic was hard for her and told Sofia to stay away from it. “I love graphic design,” she explains slowly, “but I’m taking over the family business one day. GDC is just a little treat for myself.”
        “Oh,” says Sofia. “What’s the business?” She sets her startling blue eyes on Carter and I see Carter stiffen even more, though I’m not sure why.
        “My parents own an entertainment journalism company,” she says shortly, her cool slipping a bit.
        Something about this makes a light bulb in my head illuminate. There’s a connection between her name and a fact I vaguely know about entertainment journalism but I can’t seem to connect the dots.
        Thankfully, Jackson saves us from the conversation getting any more awkward. “Ashton, you’re an artist, right?”
        “Right, it’s kind of my only personality trait,” I joke. “Why?”
        “Sofia told me the other day that you guys are opening a tattoo shop. But I thought you were a painter?”
        “Ah,” I say, “I do paint, but I draw upon occasion. Hence the dynamic duo opening
Cruz’s
.” It doesn’t miss me that he talked to Sofia just days ago, when as far as I was aware, the last time they’d spoken was Halloween. But I ignore this thought as I realize something else and a large smile comes onto my face.
        “Why are you smiling like a maniac?” Carter asks, leaning away from me in false fear.
        “Because I just figured out next year’s Halloween costumes.”
        “Oh no,” says Sofia, her face falling. “We are not matching, ever, Ashton.”
        “Sofia thinks matching costumes, specifically my ideas for matching costumes, are lame,” I explain to Carter and Jackson’s confusion. “But she won’t say no to this idea,” I say confidently.
        “I think you’re underestimating how creepy that smile was,” Carter teases.
        “None of that matters because there’s no way Sofia is turning down the chance to be Batman and Robin.”
        Sof purses her lips. “I’m not going anywhere dressed as the Boy Wonder.”
        My smile falls. “Well,
I’m
 not going to be Robin.”
        “What’s wrong with Robin?” Carter asks.
        “I really have to explain why I don’t want to be Robin.”
        Carter’s smile lifts evilly. “You could always be Wonder Woman,” she points out.
        “If he gets to be a girl then so do I,” Jackson says.
        Carter raises her eyebrows at him. “Jackson, is there something you need to tell me?”
        “It’s okay, man,” I say, reaching across the table to pat him on the shoulder. “We accept you for who you are.”
        “Ha, ha, ha,” he mocks, removing my hand from his shoulder. “I meant I want to be a girl so I can try to fit this ass into a Black Widow catsuit.”
        “I would pay good money to see that,” Carter says.
        I laugh then look at Sofia, who has been quiet but has a small smile on her lips, her head resting on her hand, surveying us. And I do the same, taking a moment to observe my friends, and Carter, happy and laughing together. These are the moments they tell you college is all about, why these are the best years of your life. If I could, I would snapshot the four of us like this.

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After another round of pizza, we decided to call it a night. We’re at Jackson’s car, which he has already gotten into. The air is cold, but I hardly notice, as my mind is totally focused on Carter.
        “I had a lot of fun tonight,” Carter says. I feel like a schoolgirl the way my pulse jumps.
        “Me too,” I say quietly. Neither of us moves, and we stand awkwardly as if we don’t know what to do next. A bit of resolve hits me and I come to a decision.
        I bring my hands up around Carter, slowly, yet confidently, and let my fingertips brush against her soft red hair. Her eyes meet mine and she relaxes into my hands, letting out a low breath. I lean in, ready to finally feel her lips against mine, after waiting all these weeks. But just before our lips meet, she turns her head and I end up kissing her cheek.
        I pull back almost immediately, embarrassed and confused. Did she
not
 want me to kiss her?
        “I’m sorry,” I blurt out automatically.
        She looks away and doesn’t say anything. I take a step back and Carter, still silent, gets into the car, not sparing another look toward me.