Authors: W. Somerset Maugham
‘Mum, I’ve asked a young lady to come in to tea tomorrow. Is that all right?’
‘You done what?’ said Mrs Sunbury, for a moment forgetting her grammar. ‘You heard, Mum.’
‘And may I ask who she is and how you got to know her?’
‘Her name’s Bevan, Betty Bevan, and I met her first at the pictures one Saturday afternoon when it was raining. It was an accident-like. She was sitting next to me and she dropped her bag and I picked it up and she said thank you and so naturally we got talking.’
‘And d’you mean to tell me you fell for an old trick like that? Dropped her bag indeed!’
‘You’re making a mistake, Mum, she’s a nice girl, she is really and well educated too.’
‘And when did all this happen?’
‘About three months ago.’
‘Oh, you met her three months ago and you’ve asked her to come to tea tomorrow?’
‘Well, I’ve seen her since of course. That first day, after the show, I asked her if she’d come to the pictures with me on the Tuesday evening, and she said she didn’t know, perhaps she would and perhaps she wouldn’t. But she came all right.’
She would. I could have told you that.’
‘And we’ve been going to the pictures about twice a week ever since.’
‘So that’s why you’ve taken to going out so often?’
‘That’s right. But, look, I don’t want to force her on you, if you don’t want her to come to tea I’ll say you’ve got a headache and take her out.’
‘Your mum will have her to tea all right,’ said Mr Sunbury. Won’t you, dear? It’s only that your mum can’t abide strangers. She never has liked them.’
‘I keep myself to myself,’ said Mrs Sunbury gloomily. ‘What does she do?’ She works in a typewriting office in the City and she lives at home, if you call it home; you see, her mum died and her dad married again, and they’ve got three kids and she doesn’t get on with her step-ma. Nag, nag, nag all the time, she says.’
Mrs Sunbury arranged the tea very stylishly. She took the knick-knacks off the little table in the sitting room, which they never used, and put a tea-cloth on it. She got out the tea-service and the plated tea-kettle which they never used either, and she made scones, baked a cake, and cut thin bread-and-butter. ‘I want her to see that we’re not just nobody,’ she told her Samuel.
Herbert went to fetch Miss Bevan, and Mr Sunbury intercepted them at the door in case Herbert should take her into the dining-room where normally they ate and sat. Herbert gave the tea-table a glance of surprise as he ushered the young woman into the sitting-room.
‘This is Betty, Mum,’ he said.
‘Miss Bevan, I presume,’ said Mrs Sunbury.
‘That’s right, but call me Betty, won’t you?’
‘Perhaps the acquaintance is a bit short for that,’ said Mrs Sunbury with a gracious smile. ‘Won’t you sit down, Miss Bevan?’
Strangely enough, or perhaps not strangely at all, Betty Bevan looked very much as Mrs Sunbury must have looked at her age. She had the same sharp features and the same rather small beady eyes, but her lips were scarlet with paint, her cheeks lightly rouged, and her short black hair permanently waved. Mrs Sunbury took in all this at a glance, and she reckoned to a penny how much her smart rayon dress had cost, her extravagantly high-heeled shoes, and the saucy hat on her head. Her frock was very short and she showed a good deal of flesh-coloured stocking. Mrs Sunbury, disapproving of her make-up and of her apparel, took an instant dislike to her, but she had made up her mind to behave like a lady, and if she didn’t know how to behave like a lady nobody did, so that at first things went well. She poured out tea and asked Herbert to give a cup to his lady friend.
‘Ask Miss Bevan if she’ll have some bread-and-butter or a scone, Samuel, my dear.’
‘Have both,’ said Samuel, handing round the two plates, in his coarse way. ‘I like to see people eat hearty.’
Betty insecurely perched a piece of bread-and-butter and a scone on her saucer and Mrs Sunbury talked affably about the weather. She had the satisfaction of seeing that Betty was getting more and more ill-at-ease. Then she cut the cake and pressed a large piece on her guest. Betty took a bite at it and when she put it in her saucer it fell to the ground.
‘Oh, I am sorry,’ said the girl, as she picked it up.
‘It doesn’t matter at all, I’ll cut you another piece,’ said Mrs Sunbury. ‘Oh, don’t bother, I’m not particular. The floor’s clean.’
‘I hope so,’ said Mrs Sunbury with an acid smile, ‘but I wouldn’t dream of letting you eat a piece of cake that’s been on the floor. Bring it here, Herbert, and I’ll give Miss Bevan some more.’
‘I don’t want any more, Mrs Sunbury, I don’t really.’
‘I’m sorry you don’t like my cake. I made it specially for you.’ She took a bit. ‘It tastes all right to me.’
‘It’s not that, Mrs Sunbury, it’s a beautiful cake, it’s only that I’m not hungry.’ She refused to have more tea and Mrs Sunbury saw she was glad to get rid of the cup. ‘I expect they have their meals in the kitchen,’ she said to herself Then Herbert lit a cigarette.
‘Give us a fag, Herb,’ said Betty. ‘I’m simply dying for a smoke.’
Mrs Sunbury didn’t approve of women smoking, but she only raised her eyebrows slightly.
‘We prefer to call him Herbert, Miss Bevan,’ she said.
Betty wasn’t such a fool as not to see that Mrs Sunbury had been doing all she could to make her uncomfortable, and now she saw a chance to get back on her.
‘I know,’ she said. ‘When he told me his name was Herbert I nearly burst out laughing. Fancy calling anyone Herbert. A scream, I call it.’
‘I’m sorry you don’t like the name my son was given at his baptism. I think it’s a very nice name. But I suppose it all depends on what sort of class of people one is.’
Herbert stepped in to the rescue.
‘At the office they call me Bertie, Mum.’
‘Then all I can say is, they’re a lot of very common men.’
Mrs Sunbury lapsed into a dignified silence and the conversation, such as it was, was maintained by Mr Sunbury and Herbert. It was not without satisfaction that Mrs Sunbury perceived that Betty was offended. She also perceived that the girl wanted to go, but didn’t quite know how to manage it. She was determined not to help her. Finally Herbert took the matter into his own hands.
Well, Betty, I think it’s about time we were getting along,’ he said. ‘I’ll walk back with you.’
‘Must you go already?’ said Mrs Sunbury, rising to her feet. ‘It’s been a pleasure, I’m sure.’
‘Pretty little thing,’ said Mr Sunbury tentatively after the young things had left. ‘Pretty my foot. All that paint and powder. You take my word for it, she’d look very different with her face washed and without a perm. Common, that’s what she is, common as dirt.’
An hour later Herbert came back. He was angry.
‘Look here, Mum, what d’you mean by treating the poor girl like that? I was simply ashamed of you.’
‘Don’t talk to your mother like that, Herbert,’ she flared up. ‘You didn’t ought to have brought a woman like that into my house. Common, she is, common as dirt.’
When Mrs Sunbury got angry not only did her grammar grow shaky, but she wasn’t quite safe on her aitches. Herbert took no notice of what she said.
‘She said she’d never been so insulted in her life. I had a rare job pacifying her.’
‘Well, she’s never coming here again, I tell you that straight.’
‘That’s what you think. I’m engaged to her, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.’
Mrs Sunbury gasped. ‘You’re not?’
‘Yes, I am. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and then she was so upset tonight I felt sorry for her, so I popped the question and I had a rare job persuading her, I can tell you.’
‘You fool,’ screamed Mrs Sunbury. ‘You fool.’
There was quite a scene then. Mrs Sunbury and her son went at it hammer and tongs, and when poor Samuel tried to intervene they both told him roughly to shut up. At last Herbert flung out of the room and out of the house and Mrs Sunbury burst into angry tears.
No reference was made next day to what had passed. Mrs Sunbury was frigidly polite to Herbert and he was sullen and silent. After supper he went out. On Saturday he told his father and mother that he was engaged that afternoon and wouldn’t be able to come to the common with them.
‘I dare say we shall be able to do without you,’ said Mrs Sunbury grimly.
It was getting on to the time for their usual fortnight at the seaside. They always went to Heme Bay, because Mrs Sunbury said you had a nice class of people there, and for years they had taken the same lodgings. One evening, in as casual a way as he could, Herbert said:
‘By the way, Mum, you’d better write and tell them I shan’t be wanting my room this year. Betty and me are getting married and we’re going to Southend for the honeymoon.’
For a moment there was dead silence in the room.
‘Bit sudden-like, isn’t it, Herbert?’ said Mr Sunbury uneasily.
‘Well, they’re cutting down at Betty’s office and she’s out of a job, so we thought we’d better get married at once. We’ve taken two rooms in Dabney Street and we’re furnishing out of my Savings Bank money.’
Mrs Sunbury didn’t say a word. She went deathly pale and tears rolled down her thin cheeks.
‘Oh, come on, Mum, don’t take it so hard,’ said Herbert. ‘A fellow has to marry sometime. If Dad hadn’t married you, I shouldn’t be here now, should I?’
Mrs Sunbury brushed her tears away with an impatient hand.
Tour dad didn’t marry me; I married ’im. I knew he was steady and respectable. I knew he’d make a good ‘usband and father. I’ve never ’ad cause to regret it and no more ’as your dad. That’s right, Samuel, isn’t it?’
Right as rain, Beatrice,’ he said quickly.
‘You know, you’ll like Betty when you get to know her. She’s a nice girl, she is really. I believe you’d find you had a lot in common. You must give her a chance, Mum.’
‘She’s never going to set foot in this house only over my dead body.’
‘That’s absurd, Mum. Why, everything’11 be just the same if you’ll only be reasonable. I mean, we can go flying on Saturday afternoons same as we always did. Just this time I’ve been engaged it’s been difficult. You see, she can’t see what there is in kite-flying, but she’ll come round to it, and after I’m married it’ll be different, I mean I can come and fly with you and Dad; that stands to reason.’
‘That’s what you think. Well, let me tell you that if you marry that woman you’re not going to fly my kite. I never gave it you, I bought it out of the housekeeping money, and it’s mine, see.’
‘All right then, have it your own way. Betty says it’s a kid’s game anyway and I ought to be ashamed of myself, flying a kite at my age.’
He got up and once more stalked angrily out of the house. A fortnight later he was married. Mrs Sunbury refused to go to the wedding and wouldn’t let Samuel go either. They went for their holiday and came back. They resumed their usual round. On Saturday afternoons they went to the common by themselves and flew their enormous kite. Mrs Sunbury never mentioned her son. She was determined not to forgive him. But Mr Sunbury used to meet him on the morning train they both took and they chatted a little when they managed to get into the same carriage. One morning Mr Sunbury looked up at the sky.
‘Good flying weather today,’ he said. D’you and Mum still fly?’
‘What do you think? She’s getting as clever as I am. You should see her with her skirts pinned up running down the hill. I give you my word, I never knew she had it in her. Run? Why, she can run better than what I can.’
‘Don’t make me laugh, Dad!’
‘I wonder you don’t buy a kite of your own, Herbert. You’ve been always so keen on it.’
‘I know I was. I did suggest it once, but you know what women are, Betty said: “Be your age,” and oh, I don’t know what all. I don’t want a kid’s kite, of course, and them big kites cost money. When we started to furnish Betty said it was cheaper in the long run to buy the best and so we went to one of them hire purchase places and what with paying them every month and the rent, well, I haven’t got any more money than just what we can manage on. They say it doesn’t cost any more to keep two than one, well, that’s not my experience so far.’
‘Isn’t she working?’
‘Well, no, she says after working for donkeys’ years as you might say, now she’s married she’s going to take it easy, and of course someone’s got to keep the place clean and do the cooking.’
So it went on for six months, and then one Saturday afternoon when the Sunburys were as usual on the common Mrs Sunbury said to her husband: Did you see what I saw, Samuel?’
‘I saw Herbert, if that’s what you mean. I didn’t mention it because I thought it would only upset you.’
‘Don’t speak to him. Pretend you haven’t seen him.’