30 First Dates (24 page)

She unfurled her legs from their scrunched-up position, and he reached toward her and pulled her feet into his lap. Erin gasped at his unexpected touch and, much as she willed it not to happen, felt a thrill that deepened when he grasped one of her ankles and began rubbing her foot. He asked about her family, and she let herself relax into the massage.

"It's just me and my mom and dad," she said, her eyes half-closed as his fingers traveled over her arch and rubbed circles on the ball of her foot.

"Don't you have any cousins or anything?"

"No," she said. "Not here. My aunt Rosalind, my dad's sister, lives in Pennsylvania. She has two kids, and I saw them sometimes growing up. But my mom's an only child, like me. Her mother, my grandma, lives in an assisted-living facility in Plano. My other grandparents all died when I was young."

He shook his head. "I can't even imagine what that's like. Even being over here, I talk to somebody in my family almost every day. My brothers are always coming up. They won't stay out of my business." He half-smiled and started working on her other foot. He was very good at it.

"Do you think you
will
move back?" she asked him, letting her head fall back into the sofa pillows. She felt very comfortable, even with him touching her like this. Something about Paul made her feel safe.

"I don't know," he said, studying her face. "Right now, no, I don't have plans to go anywhere."

Erin tensed and pulled her feet from his lap. She didn't think he would take things too far, but she also sensed he was getting bolder in her presence, and she wanted to remain in control. Images from Saturday night, from Devon's kitchen, Devon's bedroom, flitted again through her thoughts, and a wave of guilt assaulted her.

Paul's ears reddened. He leaned forward and picked up his coffee cup, though it was nearly empty and probably cold, and took a sip. "Well," he said, "I guess I'll head out." He looked hopefully at her, and Erin felt a stabbing sensation in her chest.

"Okay," she said quickly. He stood, and she stood, and after a few long seconds she moved with him toward the door. Before he reached it, he turned to her. He pulled her toward him and tilted her chin up with one hand. Her heart took a flying leap.

His lips, when he touched them to hers, were soft and warm, familiar. She breathed in deep, and the kiss seemed to last a very long time. His hands were moving on her back, in her hair. She was on the verge of being unable, once again, to gather her thoughts, to make sense of what was happening, when the sound of a key jiggling in the door broke the silence and Paul let her go.

Sherri opened the door a moment later and froze in place. "Oh." She looked back and forth between the two of them.

"Hi, Sherri," Paul said, fiddling for his keys as he tipped his head at her. He looked down at Erin. "See you soon?" he asked.

She nodded mutely.

"I'll call you," he said and smiled. He was out the door two seconds later.

Erin walked over to the sofa and sat down, feeling somewhat dazed at her predicament.

"Wow," Sherri said.

"I know," Erin said. "I don't know what to do about this."

"No, I mean, wow," Sherri repeated. "If I hadn't walked in just now, you might've had two guys in one week."

Erin picked up a throw pillow from the sofa and swatted her with it. "I would
not
have slept with him." Even as she said it, doubt swirled behind the words. This blog situation was definitely getting out of hand.

"Liar," Sherri said, and stuck out her tongue. She walked back to her room and shut the door, leaving Erin alone to figure out her next move.

Introductions

October: eight months to thirty

Erin shifted from foot to foot, not sure if she felt more nervous or impatient. Her blonde locks were piled in an artfully messy mound on the top of her head, a few tendrils loose around her face. She tried to be subtle as she blew at a strand that was tickling her left cheek.

The sanctuary of Stoneybrook Community Church—which wasn't the church Hilary's family attended but she hadn't wanted to use that one because she thought its sanctuary was too "brown"—was enormous, making the large wedding party gathered in the center pews seem intimate. Erin knew Hil had picked this church because its façade was impressive, a contemporary take on Texas Mission style, and because her high-dollar florist liked to work with the church's full-time wedding staff.

Erin's smile felt pasted on, and as the minister finished leading Hilary and Mark through their vows, she wondered how long a face could hold one position without cracking like a plaster mask.

She glanced out at the crowd to find Ben, who was here with a date…the elusive Dr. Catherine Thackery. He'd referred to her in the days leading up to the wedding as "Cat," a nickname that grated under Erin's nerves for reasons she couldn't explain. Erin guessed Cat was the reason Ben hadn't been around much in recent weeks, and she found she couldn't keep her eyes off of her. Ben noticed her looking—he was sitting close enough to the front of the church for her to see his mouth twitch.

Embarrassed at being caught, she averted her gaze and began scanning the pews for her own date, Edward.
Ed? Eddie?
she pondered, and groaned inwardly. He was a blog set-up, by her mom of all people. Joanne had been bugging Erin about it for weeks. Edward's mother was in her bunko group, and she'd mentioned the blog, which Susan—the mother—was already reading. All the bunko group members were reading it, actually, because they knew Joanne's daughter was writing it. Gossip straight from the source about one of the other members' kids was too juicy to pass up.

Erin found her mom in the crowd before she found Edward. Joanne wasn't looking at her. She was watching Hilary and Mark, as all good wedding guests were doing at that moment—they were exchanging rings. Erin gave up searching for her date and focused on what was happening at the altar. Hilary had tears rolling down her cheeks, and Erin was just cynical enough to wonder if they were real or manufactured.

She tried to give Hilary credit. She'd actually been fairly mellow these last few days, very surprising, considering Erin had expected nightmarish demands and cataclysmic girl drama in the run-up to the event. The bridesmaids' luncheon had gone off without a hitch, and even the bachelorette party had been a tame affair—just dinner at a trendy bistro downtown and drinks after. No tacky veils with condoms attached. No goofy games or glittery signs that read "I'm the bride." Was this what weddings were like in your thirties, she wondered? All business, no fun?

Hilary did seem serious, at least, about settling down with Mark. As far as Erin knew, she hadn't had any further incidents of cheating or cold-footed freak-outs about spending the rest of her life with one man. She and Mark were buying a house, a newly built McMansion in the 'burbs in West Plano. They were due to close a couple weeks after they returned from their Hawaiian honeymoon.

We're grown-ups now
, Erin thought, and the idea mingled with nostalgia for her and Hilary's shared past. For the first time all day, she felt real emotion prick behind her eyes. She bowed her head during the blessing of the rings and watched without hearing the minister's words as he completed the ceremony, her eyes intent on Mark's face, which looked somber, scared, and happy all at the same time. Erin found that she truly did feel happy for them. When Hilary and Mark took their first walk as a married couple, Erin watched not them but Ben and "Cat" again. As they stood and turned toward the back of the church, following the bride's recession, Ben laid an arm casually across Catherine's shoulders. The gesture brought with it a sharp tinge of jealousy, and Erin found herself wondering if they were sleeping together. Then she felt appalled at the thought.

Why should I care if Ben has a girlfriend?
She was supposed to be finding him a woman—it was on her list. Alarmed, she froze with her gaze still on them.
She
was supposed to set Ben up with someone great. If he found somebody on his own, how could she scratch item No. 23 off her list?

Ben turned toward the front of the church again and looked at her expectantly, as if he were reading her thoughts. Thrown off, it took Erin a couple seconds too long to realize the music had changed and it was time for her to move. Mark's best man reached the center aisle before she did and stood with his arm extended, waiting for her before he descended the steps to exit the sanctuary.

She walked out with her head held high and her thoughts in a whirl.

*  *  *

"Edward, meet Ben. Ben, Edward," Erin said, nodding between the two men and avoiding Ben's eyes.

"And this is Catherine," Ben said, glancing down at his date. "Cat, this is my good friend Erin Crawford."

Dr. Catherine Thackery was dark-haired and petite with a turned-up nose and cheeks lightly sprinkled with freckles. Her skin was pale, and her feminine lankiness contrasted with Erin's more athletic build. She wore a blue silk dress that was tasteful, not at all showy. Erin tried to keep her eyes off Catherine's hands, particularly the right one, which was folded inside Ben's.

Catherine surveyed Erin coolly. "I've heard a lot about you," she said in a voice that was lower than Erin expected, and somewhat nasal.

Erin gave her a warm smile to try to make up for the sudden chill that draped itself over their party. She had the instant feeling that Catherine disliked her, and for one muddled second, confusion clouded her expression. "I hope he hasn't told you any of the really bad stuff," she joked, trying to ease the tension.

"No," Catherine said. "I've only heard glowing recommendations." She didn't continue, or crack a smile, and a brief, awkward silence fell over the group.

"I'd like to hear the bad stuff," Ed said, and Erin laughed along with Ben, thanking Ed silently for saving the moment.

As Ben and Ed morphed into a conversation about Tony Romo's most recent injury and the Cowboys chances against the Seahawks that weekend, Erin pretended to listen, but really she was counting up weeks in her head to figure out how long ago Ben had mentioned he had a date with a doctor from work. She wasn't positive, but she thought maybe they'd been dating about a month. In their recent conversations about Erin's job, she'd carefully avoided the subject of dating. He had, too, and only now did she question the reason why.

Another unexpected ping of jealousy washed over her, and Erin thought,
I have no right to feel jealous
. After all, she was here with one date while jilting two others—one of whom she'd slept with and never called back.

On the dance floor with Edward later in the night, Erin again watched Ben and Catherine, fascinated by her fascination with them and unsure what to make of it. While they were dancing, Edward finally told her to call him Ed—his mom was the only person who used his "Christian name," as he put it. He was a nice guy, but she knew their relationship wasn't going to last past one date, if for no other reason than she'd spent the whole night thinking about other men.

And watching other men.

"How long will you be in school?" Ed asked.

"Oh, um—" Erin stopped staring at Ben, who was sitting with Catherine at a table near the dance floor and talking to one of their old high school friends. The man was feeding a baby he held in his lap with an angled bottle. "It's a three-semester program, but I'm only going part-time. I'm not a hundred percent sure yet if I'm making the right move." She looked up at Ed as he spoke—he was very tall, at least 6'4".

"How will you know if it's the right move?"

Erin fumbled for an answer. Between Ed's line of questioning, the friend with the baby, the fact Hilary was now
married
, and the sheer presence of Dr. Catherine Thackery, she felt like an overgrown teenager. Ed was vice president at a community bank in Frisco, a position that seemed as solid as his size. "I…think it is, but I don't know what I want to do with the degree…yet."

She laughed. "I guess I just don't know what the hell I'm doing with myself these days."

He laughed, too, and she felt herself warming up to him. "Waiting to see if anything'll come of your blog?" he asked.

She felt surprised by that question. Most people didn't seem to think of blogging as a career option. "I guess I am," she admitted. "I keep getting press requests and emails from people wanting to advertise on the site. I don't know. I'm not expecting, like, a book deal or anything, but I am kind of riding the wave right now."

"Nothing wrong with that," he said. "I do a little blogging, too. Nothing like yours," he added quickly, "but I write about climbing sometimes."

He was into rock climbing, a fact that had impressed Erin when he'd mentioned it earlier in the night. Maybe there was second-date potential here…but she banished the thought. She had to stop getting attached to men she was meeting through the blog—not a problem she figured she'd have when she started 30 First Dates.

"That's cool," she said. "What's your blog addre—" She was interrupted by a hand reaching around her to tap Ed on the shoulder.

"Can I cut in?" Ben asked, and Erin turned, gaping at him.

"Sure," Ed said, and if he was annoyed he didn't show it. "Want something to drink?" he asked, looking down at Erin.

"Not right now," she answered. "Thank you, though." She watched him saunter across the dance floor toward the main bar.

"You and Edward seem like you're having a good time," Ben said, and she turned her eyes to him.

"Ed," she said automatically, and she thought she caught a flicker of annoyance in Ben's eyes. It was gone so fast she decided she'd imagined it. "Yeah, we are."

"So who's it going better with—Ed? Or Paul? Or, Devon, is it?" Now he looked either annoyed or amused—she couldn't tell.

"Geez, Ben. What's it to you who I go out with? Besides, you're here with what's-her-name.
Cat
." She couldn't stop herself from sneering a little as she said the name.