3 Breaths (17 page)

“What the fuck? I don’t even know how to take all that. So first, what’s up with Ronnie?”

“He can’t move from the waist down.”

“Shit, you’re not fucking serious?” I ask, feeling terrible. I’ve seen shit like this go down before. It’s a risk we all take, but it’s always horrible.

“Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I’m not sure if it’s temporary or what, but it’s not something anyone ever wants.”

Fuck, knowing that I did this to him has my head spinning. “So what, does ACM just want me as Ronnie’s replacement?”

“I don’t think so, they seemed sincere in their interest. There’s so much that goes into all this and beating Ronnie, with your prior record, put you in the top twenty of your weight class,” he pauses and I can’t imagine ranking that high.

“Regardless of where I rank, I don’t want beating Ronnie until he can’t fucking walk to be the launch of my career. That’s fucked up.”

“Come on, man, you won fair and square. He knew just as much as you did the ramifications for fighting. You always know before stepping foot in the octagon that something could go wrong.”

“So what? I win the one fight that can set me up for the future, but it comes with a shit ton of guilt? I ride his tragedy to the top?”

“Don’t think of it like that. Let’s keep hope he’ll get better. And who knows, you could have a re-match with Ronnie one day. I think that ACM is really serious about you, so what do you think about me representing you?”

“You think this is all legit?” I ask.

“Absolutely.”

“You’re one of the only guys in this world that I trust, so of course.”

“Good, thank you, man. I’ll be in touch in a bit and please don’t beat yourself up. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I have your check for last night. You won fight of the night so you should have an extra two grand on it.”

“All right, man, thanks.”

Hanging up with Logan, my mind begins to process everything. I’m not sure that a career in fighting is something that I want. Especially, if I have the capability to injure someone permanently and it keeps adding to my karmic shitstorm, then fighting might not be for me after all. But there is so much possibility, if I can make a career out of it.

Fuck, I’m starting to sweat, my throat feels tight, and I cough to clear it. Me and Ronnie’s hometowns aren’t that far apart, and if he doesn’t get better, then some dumb shit could do something and possibly hurt the ones I love and I won’t risk that…I can’t.

I start a pot of coffee and Google Ronnie’s name to see if I can get any information on his condition. I just need a sliver of hope right now to help get my head right, but there’s nothing. I don’t want to wake Ivy, and as she crosses my mind, I can feel Zoë jumping into the forefront of my thoughts.

It’s a hard pill to swallow imagining doing any of this without her. This was just as much her dream as mine.

Writing a note to Ivy, I leave it on the counter.

Went to Long Beach to clear my head. –K

I know what I have to do. I’m gonna need Zoë’s strength to get me through this. She will be able to tell me what to do.

Getting home, Ivy is still sleeping and I decide to shower in hopes that will clear my mind. As the water heats the room, I look at my reflection in the mirror. My face is swollen and bruised, covered with cuts.

Going to Long Beach today didn’t help me the way that I’d thought it would. I can still feel Zoë there, but the decision ahead of me is something that Ivy and I need to make. Ivy is my future and the one who can help me decide. After this morning, it’s obvious that she is the only one that can really clear my head.

Rinsing off, I look at the tub as the pink water swirls down the drain and I’m thankful that Ivy is not in here. Before getting out, I hold my breath and let the hot water cleanse my face, erasing the remnants of last night’s fight. As I stand here, frozen in time, I pray that Ronnie will be okay. I don’t want to ever cause anyone permanent harm, no matter what.

I wipe my body dry and then wrap a towel around my waist. Opening the door to my room, Ivy is still passed out. “Baby,” I call out getting dressed.

“Nooo,” she whines and pulls the covers over her head.

“Come on, you have to get up.”

She ignores me. Going into the kitchen, I pour us each a cup of coffee and tell her as I go back into the bedroom, “I have something for you.”

Slowly she pulls the covers off of her head and peers out at me to see what I have. I gesture the cup towards her and she huffs sitting up. “You already showered?”

Her voice is raspy and I laugh at her. “I did and went to the beach, I offered you to join, but you just cursed at me.”

“No, I didn’t.”

I smirk, she knows me so well. Handing her the coffee, I sit down. “You’re so lazy, you know that?”

She takes a sip and shakes her head at me, “No, I’m not. I’m tired. You woke my ass up in the middle of the night to fuck, so I didn’t get a full night’s sleep.”

“Me?” I question her recalling the events that took place. “I remember waking up to your lips wrapped around my dick.”

“Yeah, because you were moaning in your sleep.”

“Was I now?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

She throws a pillow at me and asks, “Who was on the fucking phone at the asscrack of dawn?”

“Logan.”

“Why so early?”

“Oh, he had a damn good reason. Ronnie’s not doing well and the scouts for ACM want to discuss possibly signing me.”

“Really? What’s the news with Ronnie?”

I fill her in on all of the details and we spend the next hour in bed discussing things. Ivy is always so positive and makes me see the light in every situation, when typically all I focus on is the bad. I’m the luckiest fucker ever.

As we drive to the gym to pick up my check and talk to Logan in person, Ivy asks me, “Did they say when they wanna meet?”

“I don’t think so, but I’d bet they are still in town, so maybe in the next few days.”

She looks out the window, not responding; she’s been in a bit of a daze since we left the house. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking about Zoë.”

“What about?” I ask, curious that she is on both of our minds so much today.

“She used to always talk about your fights, and I could hear how proud she was of you. I’m just sad that she’s not here to be a part of this.”

Reaching over, I take her hand and wrap it in mine. “Baby, she’s always with us.”

Ivy blinks back tears and I bring her knuckles to my lips, kissing them as I pull into a parking spot. Putting the truck in park, I pat my chest and she unbuckles her seatbelt scooting closer to me.

“Don’t cry, babe.” I hold on to her, but my words won’t help. She sobs into my chest and I wonder what set her off so quickly. “Shhhh.” I try and calm her down.

She looks at me shaking her head and says, “Are we crazy for thinking that…” She lets out a big breath of air. “That we could run from the past and make this work?”

I don’t like where her line of thinking is going one bit. “Of course we’re crazy, we all are in our own ways, but it doesn’t make what we’re doing wrong. Nothing or no one can stop this,” I point between the two of us, “Or make things not work, except for you. I’m in this for the long haul, Ivy, and I want you by my side. I don’t want to imagine my life without you.” She blinks away the tears. My words stun her. She keeps listening to me and I continue. “Please let go of the past and hold on to what’s real.” I place her hand over my heart as it pounds fiercely against the walls of my chest. “This is what the thought of losing you does to me.”

She leaves her hand on my heart and says, “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t. Now be strong for me, like you always have.”

“I’m trying, but sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts and worries.”

Leaning down, I kiss her tender lips, looking in her eyes for the reassurance that I need right now. “Don’t do that.” She kisses me back, giving me a little smile and asks, “Do you mind if I stay in the car?”

“Of course not, I’ll be right out.”

Leaving the keys in the ignition, I hop out and walk into the gym. “What’s up, man?” Ethan calls and the guys all begin clapping for me. “Stop it,” I respond, waving them off.

“Not much, any news on Ronnie?” I ask, shaking Ethan’s hand.

“Nothing new.”

“Damn, where’s Logan?”

“On the phone with ACM – things seem to be really serious with their interest in you.”

“What do you mean?” I ask catching sight of Logan pacing in the back of the gym. He is gripping the back of his neck, like he’s stressed, nodding his head repeatedly.

“He’s been on the phone with them on and off for almost an hour.”

I look at Ethan, not believing him, but can see he’s dead serious.

“Wow, so this could really happen, couldn’t it?”

“Yeah, man, but you have to stop beating yourself up about Ronnie.”

“I know I do,” I tell him, “It’s just hard.”

“Have a little faith, brother, he’ll get better. Listen, sorry about walking in on you and Ivy last night.”

“It’s all good.”

“What’s the deal with you two anyway?” he asks curiously.

I haven’t told any of them that we are actually dating yet, not that it’s a secret or anything, but things have evolved so quickly and the fight was sprung on me so fast that I didn’t have the time. “We’re together.”

“Good for you, man.”

“Who’s together?” Logan asks approaching the counter.

“Ivy and I.”

“I knew it,” he says. “I mean, I didn’t know it, but I suspected it. She make you happy?”

“Yeah, she does, man.”

“That’s all that matters, brother.”

Raising my chin to him I ask, “So what’s the word?”

“Man, shit’s moving fast. They want to fly us out to Vegas. Today.”

“What? Why Vegas?”

“I guess the scouts left last night and that’s where they are headquartered.”

“Okay. If we go, how long will we be gone for and what’s it going to entail?”

“From what it sounds like, possibly a contract. I mean, we won’t know ’til we’re there, but they said they’d send their private jet and have all the accommodations handled for an overnight trip.”

“Can Ivy come?”

“I’m sure. I’m waiting on an email and I’ll ask in my response.”

“Cool, I’ll talk to Ivy about it now, but we should be good. I’ll text you.” He hands me the check for last night’s fight and I shake both of their hands before leaving. Walking out I open the check and blink a few times looking at it. Turning back to Logan and Ethan, I ask, “Why is this so much?” Logan walks to me and I hand it to him.

“Probably to show their interest in you,” he responds.

With the check in hand, I walk out looking at the amount one more time. What I thought would be seven thousand dollars is seventeen thousand. ACM just gave me an extra ten grand for no reason.

“Are we really doing this?” Ivy asks as we pull out of the bank drive thru and head to the airport to meet Logan and Victoria.

I look behind us and see our suitcases resting on the backseat. “Looks like it.”

“What if they don’t offer you a contract?” she asks concerned.

“Then it wasn’t meant to be, babe, and we got a free trip out of the deal.”

“I really can’t wait to get away,” she says.